Well I'm shocked. Since this was not directed toward Gina or Harmony, it must be directed toward everyone else, including myself.
Guess the fact that other than checking in on the "Roll Call" thread and the "Walmart A-Z" thread occasionally doesn't give anyone on the team a clue that there might be issues going on in life, I have chosen not to make public.
Wendy, I have stepped away from SP and the W@L team for a number of reasons. One being that I had been spending 12-14 hours at a time online for days on end. Not a good move for someone who is dealing with depression, anxiety and serious menopausal issues. Not a good thing to lay in bed all day long zoned out in internet "bliss." Maybe someone out there can relate.
Like so many people, the economy has hit & hit hard. My income has been reduced by 75%....that translates to making 1/4 of what I was making a year ago. When there's an opportunity to work, even if it's a sucky, pain in the ass job, I take it. I've taken on jobs in the last 8 weeks that no other person could imagine, swimming in urine, feces and other human schmegma. I come home exhausted, filthy and physically ill from what I've had to deal with, but it's money, a day's work, no matter how horrible. It's just not in me to log on and be cheery and chipper. I'd rather be silent than a fake.
Like many of our local 808/Hawaii team members, electricity, internet connectivity and horrid weather has played a part in not being able to get online since last week. I'm not going to fire up the laptop, just to get it fried when there's power surges & outages both island and state wide. Thankfully, we had a good day today. High winds took out power here & there, at least no floods.
I will not say much, if anything at all about the deteriorating relationship with my SO. It's bad. It sucks, but right now, it and he is what I have to live with. Ever feel stuck? Well, that's the life I have now. I am, however, making progress to get out, it's just going to take a while. Of all people, I'd bet you would understand how a bad relationship can tear a person emotionally and mentally to shreads.
So, many of my private issues are now out there....only to make a point. I don't believe there is anyone on this team who would purposely ignore or dismiss you. We all have issues and problems. Some days, some weeks some minutes are better than others. Some of us share, some of us do not. None of us lead a perfect & beautiful life, no matter how up and cheery we seem online.
I also understand you are hurt. I'm sorry you have suffered. I'm sorry you feel ignored. I'm sorry you think as a team, we have abandoned you.
I can not apologize for taking care of and making myself a number one priority. And I can not be made feel guilty for doing so.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and all of us who struggle.
I will, however, apologize if this came out as bitchy or rude, as it was not intended to be that way.
Carol~~ Kauai, Hawaii
BLC 23 Mighty Mocha Hunter
BLC 19-22 Rockin'Rose Ranger
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~Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry & fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism & solutions, you will cultivate success....Lao Tzu
Superpower is cursing
Weakness is love
Weapon is magic bow
Mode of transportation is the love van
| current weight: 194.6