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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
9/13/12 4:31 P

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It's not silly. You are stuck on a cycle of addiction - to spending. Look deeper in self, what do you get from the spending and how can you get that same feeling without spending. Set the spending issue aside, is the outcome of the spending working for you? Likely the outcome is an initial high, followed by a deep dark low - it's not working for you. What is the purpose of the spending, not "oh I really love those shoes" purpose, I mean deep down inside your soul purpose. What is missing in your life that you are using over-spending to fill?

One suggestion I can give and suggest to do immediately is cut up those cards. Physically take scissors to the cards and slice them in many pieces. Then to stop yourself from using the numbers online, call the companies and cancel the cards. You will never be able to use them again, in any setting.

You have taken good action to plan your spending 2 days ahead. After you do that successfully - suggest a goal of 2 weeks with 90% compliance - then add in 2 more days. Now you have to plan your spending 4 days ahead, with a goal of 2 weeks with 90% compliance. And keep doing this until you are planning your spending ahead on a monthly budget.

Admit to your husband what is going on. When I admited that I was struggling with finances to my family and close friends, it was a breath of fresh air. The load had been removed. It also allowed them to celebrate with me when there were successes. It also allowed me to ask for help, when things happened beyond my control and not feel "oh man, how can I ask for money when I spent it all on shoes." (not that I buy shoes, I am not into shoes but it's just an example).

When I cut up my cards, my bff's children did it for me and we made it into a game. They had great fun with it and then, when I took them out, they helped contribute -one way or another (as they were all kids, so helping can be cleaning up dishes or such) and they knew I didn't have much to spend, so no complaining. It helped them to further understand money management. And it helped me to be public, as it kept me accountable.

You can do it, there is no such word as can't.....mistakes are for learning and you are doing that right now, learning. Keep on the path and keep talking it out here, we are here to support you.



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8/29/12 12:08 P

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i know this is going to sound silly, but for me it's not the actual debt i have. it's the fact that i can't end the cycle permanently of accumulating it, then paying it off. this is a cycle that i have had problems with ever since i got my credit card back in 1993 or so. my husband is unemployed from permanent work right now. so, i have a REALLY good reason for keeping my credit card paid off. but i can't seem to make that time of keeping it paid off permanent. i have a list of ALL my non-necessity spending that i can refer to anytime. i have begun to cancel memberships and such. i am working on cutting the unnecessary spending on food and drinks out. i know that i have to PRE-PLAN ALL MY SPENDING, at least 2 days in advance. i hope that this helps and i can end the vicious cycle, because i don't want to admit to my husband that i should be on an allowance and someone else take over controling my $.

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
9/27/11 12:41 P

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It's tough and don't give up. It sounds like a good plan to get on top of things and ensure that you don't fall behind. Good stuff.



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9/27/11 12:37 P

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Not looking forward to another month of bills but I think things have hit bottom. Keeping a positive attitude and hoping things will start picking up. I am now concentrating on current bills and taking care of the present, this way I don't get further behind.

Have a great day!!!


 
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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
8/14/11 2:39 A

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That does help, I really believe in looking at the learning and positive of mistakes. Not beating one's self up. It was an honest error and like you mentioned, I did attempt to make it clear. I'm just thankful that it doesn't affect my ability to do the auto-payments, some places wouldn't allow it after a NSF. And thanks for your support, much appreciated. :)



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LA_MARY's Photo LA_MARY Posts: 143
8/14/11 12:10 A

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Sassi,

That really is frustrating! I know how you feel. But, perhaps the way to look at it is that you have been so much more disciplined and at least you tried to make way for the check to clear.

emoticon

Or maybe that doesn't help! But I think that you still are doing a great job! Hang in there!

emoticon

~Mary

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
8/13/11 1:10 P

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Yesterday wasn't so tough as frustrating. I haven't bounced a cheque or payment since the '90s. I'm still unsure what happened to my brain, think that it went on holiday and forgot to take me with it. I have auto-payment for my debt load, taken out by my credit counsellor. It's every 10th and 25th of the month and I've been doing this for years. I remember mid-week thinking I was missing something in my register, that it seemed I had something that should come out but it didn't reqister what it was. Then I promptly forgot it. Thursday night I went online into my bank account. I saw the payment came out, it appeared that I didn't have the money to cover - it came out on the 10th, this was the 11th - but there was no notification that I had bounced. I remembered one time when everything came out together and then my pay came in technically the next day - only hours after - that they did not bounce any payments. They allowed it all to sort out without penalty. I figured this might be the same.

I contacted the bank, switched money out of savings to the chequing and hoped for the best.

I woke up on the 12th and before I headed to work (at 7;30AM), I opened the account and saw that the bank had been slow updating my web page. It now showed that the payment came out, then went back in due to NSF. I was charged the penalty. The money I transferred showed up under the date of the 12th, along with my pay cheque.

I left a message with my credit counsellor and went to work. I felt "good" that at least I was the one who noticed this and not them. It looks much better that I contacted them and they didn't have to track me down. They left a message and I contacted them back - they can take out the payment on the 16th, along with a penalty. She was good about it. I've been with them for almost 5yrs and never had any issues, so that plays good on me too.

Reminds me one time back in the 90s. I bounced a cheque because I miscalculated the total amount in my account - before online accounts and debit cards. I walked into the store with cash, including the penalty amount and asked to speak with the manager. He told me that they hadn't even been notified about the cheque. I assured him it was true, not only was it him but a few others were also affected. I told him I just came from the bank. He was blown away. He said no one had ever shown up to pay off a bounced cheque, hence the "wall of shame" (do you all remember those walls? where bounced cheques were posted in stores). He was so taken that I was there to pay that he waved the penalty fee. He also stated that I would still be allowed to write cheques in his store (usually if you bounced a cheque, you were banned from cheque writing for a period of time).

Anyhow, the way the counsellor assisted me yesterday reminded me of that moment. I managed to contact them before they were informed and it seems to make all the difference.

Still......it sure was frustrating!



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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
5/3/11 6:40 P

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Sorry to hear about the passing of your aunt, my condolences heartfelt to you and your family. It is difficult when someone dies without a will to settle everything. Hopefully this won't be in probate for years.



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TINIERTINA's Photo TINIERTINA Posts: 4,897
4/28/11 2:41 P

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There has been a recent death in my family.

My aunt had died without a will.

Her direct bloodline is a lovely young lady, a child of her deceased son's common law marriage, and given up for adoption in early infancy.

I had been treated as if next of kin until my aunt had hired a private eye to find the former orphan out, about 10 years ago ..

This had made for a very messy and probably small, estate. Handled by attorneys that my brother hired.


Lesser artists borrow, great artists steal.

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Find a way.

--Diana Nyad

(Said after swimming from Cuba to Key West without fins or shark cages)

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
4/19/11 11:49 P

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I hope that you can find the duplicates. I do know how frustrating that is to lose important papers. I hope it gets all sorted out fast!



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4/15/11 10:39 P

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more paper work and I thought I had it all but she said some missing. That made me stressed. We had to pay IRS 1600 extra school tax 125, housw tax 500 and then propane 2 weeks ago 489.00
We are so struggling and then to find out we have check stubs missing they must be in the files I sent is all I know.
Monday heading to lawyer to see if maybe she over looked them. Hubby is asking his boss for duplicats but not sure he will get them.

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
3/22/11 12:49 P

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My heart goes out to all who lost a child. Linda, my friends lost their son in a car accident at the same age as your son. Very difficult and yes, my friends still struggle with his birthday and he's often remembered at different family outings. These children who stay with us for short times are still very much a part of our lives.

Linda, hope you were able to sort out all the issues with the bills. It's so hard when a bill shows up far more than expected. It's also tough when you have to pay income tax, ouch. I did mine and sent it off. I usually get back around $500 and this year, $75. We had tax increases in our province and a major tax credit was removed when a new taxation system came into play. Our work accountant also figures that the sudden change in my income - as I went from 30hrs to 40hrs almost overnight, played into this. There wasn't enough time for the tax base to adjust, so the extra I put into taxes covered that...at least I didn't have to pay. If I did, I would have really freaked, as there is no way any of us in this workplace should have to pay - if the books are done correctly.



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BELTONWALKER67's Photo BELTONWALKER67 SparkPoints: (111,637)
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3/13/11 11:30 A

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Geneva, so sorry for your loss of Becky. Sassi, so sorry for the loss of your niece of the heart. I feel for both of you and know how much you must miss them. I lost a son, Vance, due to a car accident the day before his 15th birthday. He would have been have been 39 on March 8, so it has been a long time since his death, but still miss him daily. His birthday was a tough day for me too.

Today, is a tough day financially. I finally got the paperwork all oranized for my taxes and do have to pay this year, so they won't be mailed until the last minute. I also had a touch decision to make on which bill to pay, as the gas bill was way past due and about triple what it normally is. The gas bill or the house payment?? Finally decided to pay the gas bill and let the house payment ride until my next payday...which will make it tight for the normal bills on that payday. But, I'm still counting my blessings as I am so much better off than a lot of people in the world today. I really feel for all those in Japan, Guam, Hawaii and other spots in the world as they suffer tremendous losses.

On the bright side..the sun is shining today here! Yesterday was a beautiful day with temps in the 60's. Today will be a tad cooler in the mid 50's. Think a walk is in order to releive some of this stress! Have a great day.



Make this a Healthy Choice Day!

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2/7/11 8:32 P

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Thanks for your thoughts. Becky was born early also then had yellow jundaice. She died of sids also.

Geneva Freeman
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2/7/11 6:33 P

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awwwwww emoticon for the lost little soul....ty sassi i finally feel rested to work a 12 hour shift.....lol......got my 13711 steps in thou emoticon

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
2/7/11 2:24 P

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My heart goes out to you. My niece of the heart passed away around age 6 months but she was born around 3 months too early. She was able to come home, have photos done that weren't in a hospital setting, meet everyone and passed away from SIDS. She would be 6yrs old if she had lived. There isn't a day that her big sister, mother and grandmother don't think of her and her mother celebrates her life every year on her birthday. It is so sad that you lost your baby girl and my heart is with you. (((many hugs)))



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2/7/11 2:05 P

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today is my youngest daughters 32 birthday. She died at 3 months old and to this day I still blame myself. emoticon

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
2/6/11 11:21 P

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We had about 1.5 ft dropped and I shovelled it (well pushed as I cannot lift) away from my car and the guy who clears the parking lot better not shove it back in at 5AM when he usually shows up - if he shows up. There was also the sound of ice pellets and there is a slick thick sheet of ice underneath the snow. There is more expected. I'll have to listen to Mike in the morning for the road report and see how it is out there. He is the head of YRB which is the company that does our hiways and back roads. I think I'll end up a late start though, as I'm sure the work cars are buried. Last time this happened the guy who does that parking lot pushed all the snow up against the cars, so one of the guys I worked with dug me out. I cannot lift, it's forbidden. I'm not sure if I'm even allowed to push the snow but I didn't do much. The numbness - which was the last bit remaining from the injury - is gone finally, so I don't want to wreck the back.

Kim, think of all the calories you dumped with that shovelling. Woo hoo! Bet it was lots and working those muscles, good on you. Enjoy your break and rest this evening, its deserved.

Katwoman, hope you got some good rest this weekend and feel better.



Edited by: SASSISPRING at: 2/6/2011 (23:22)

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2/6/11 4:31 P

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I spent an hour and a half shovelling my drive. I kept getting slower and slower, some of it was heavy. I can feel it in my thighs and shoulders today. I'm tired too! Just woke up from a short nap.

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2/6/11 3:34 P

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this has been a brutal winter....i am so pooped.....slept on and off all weekend

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
2/6/11 2:54 P

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It's snowing here too. Spring won't arrive here until April or May, as we can still get snow here up to June. Actually the snow I'm okay with, the winds and freezing rain I can do without. It is tough to save when there isn't the money to do that but you are resourceful and I'm sure you'll figure out a way.



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2/6/11 9:31 A

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I am so glad it could wait as well. I guess I will be saving for repair jobs, which is something that needs to be saved for anyways, but it is a little hard to do when you have more money going out than in! I just cannot wait for Spring to get here!! More snow shovelling today! Ugh!!

Kim

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
2/5/11 11:04 P

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Thank goodness though that plumber was close and willing to step in, as it sounded like he saved you some money. Now you have water inside and you know you can wait until spring to deal with the rest. It bites that it happened but at least it wasn't the inside pipes that you'd have to deal with immediately.



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2/5/11 6:36 P

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So I am REALLY beginning to hate this winter. It isn't my ceiling leaking anymore, but I came home to a pipe that froze and burst on the outside of my house. In a panic, I had the neighbor come over and show me where to turn the water off.....duh at the meter!! I had called the plumber, which was after hours. All I could think is this is going to cost me a small fortune.

The plumber showed up a few minutes later. He said he lived in the area and heard over the walky talky ---water spraying everywhere--! He said at least he could do is get the water shut off until the actual on-call plumber came. He found the shut off valve for this pipe and got it turned off. Thank God for small miracles!! He said this was something that could wait until Spring to fix, especially with a outside stairwell...that is no longer used and it is covered by my deck...that has a good foot of water in it. It still cost enough for the service charge and he also called off the on-call plumber. He was also able to turn my water back on for the rest of the house.

I just wanted to cry!! I worked up a sweat in my panic and my adrenaline was pumping!! I think I will be going to bed early tonight just from exhaustion!

Kim

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2/3/11 1:13 P

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My 2nd floor is kind of cold because it is an old house and there is only one heater duct to warm the upstairs. My spare room is freezing and it is where the leak is, also it is the north side of the house, so it is not getting the direct sunlight. Things on the back of the house are another story, they are melting pretty good right now with the sun beating on them. Luckily, I haven't seen any leaks on that side!! So far things are still quiet on the north side! The thing too is that we had major winds during the storm, so it blew most of the snow off the roof. The snow may have found its way in through a roof vent in that wind. Make sense to me.

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SASSISPRING's Photo SASSISPRING Posts: 10,752
2/3/11 1:01 P

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The thing is Kim, it doesn't need to warm up outside because the heat from the house is enough to start things melting. Around here people shovel their roofs and get folks to clear out the eaves. My dad has a snow scrapper that telescopes, so he does the shed roof and my brother does his trailer roof. Dad hired some young guy to clear the roof. On the farm it wasn't as much of an issue as the house had a tin roof. It would become an issue when it iced up underneath and blocked the snow from falling. Being that they had wood heat, if anything was blocked, it would melt as the wood heat really warms up the attic.

I agree it's not something that you should be doing. Hopefully that guy you had before can help you out. I also hope that the roof doesn't warm things up enough to melt and that you don't get any more dripping.



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2/3/11 12:50 P

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It will be a couple of days before things start melting, I think, it is supposed to be in the teens and 20's during the day and 0 or below at night. I am leaving my bucket in place while I am at work tonight and can only pray nothing happens while I am gone. It is hard to get to my eves in the front of my house because there are bushes in the way and the roof is a steep slant, so I don't know when or if I can get someone to get up there try to get the ice out. I do have an exention ladder if I could climb it, but my hip doesn't really let me. My friend hurt himself snowmobiling and can't help me out. I may have to ask my neighbor for the guy's name, which he said he was a friend of theirs and number to see if maybe he could do it. He cleaned my gutters last spring and asked if he could do it in Dec before we had bad weather. Unfortunately, I didn't have the money at that time to pay him.

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2/3/11 12:07 P

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That's a common issue up here with ice building up in the eaves, backing up any melt and leaks through the roof. I hope that you caught it early enough that it's either gone or your friend can easily deal with it.



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2/3/11 12:05 P

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That's a common issue up here with ice building up in the eaves, backing up any melt and leaks through the roof. I hope that you caught it early enough that it's either gone or your friend can easily deal with it.



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2/3/11 10:58 A

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Last night around 10pm I heard a noise and listened...didn't hear again.... a few minutes later I heard again....drip, drip, drip! Crap!! I looked around and couldn't see where I had water dripping. I had a leak in my bathroom a few years back, which the plumber had to cut into my ceiling to get to it. So right now I still have a hole there...need money and know-how to fix it. So I am still looking and I see water running from a little window near my fire place. So I put a small pan there...wasn't much water. I still could hear the dripping and it had to be someplace else. Finally, I saw something fall from the ceiling. I have built in speakers in the ceiling....water was dripping from that. Where is this water coming from?! I got a bucket out and put in under as it was dripping fairly good. I bundled up and went outdoors to see if there was something going on out there. Yes the eves have an ice/snow build up, but how could it be melting when is is about 10F!

When I got up this morning, the dripping had stopped during the night and there wasn't much water in the bucket....GOOD! I called my friend to see if he could come over and give me his opinion about it. He said I probably had snow that was blown into the attic with the major wind we had and it melted. Okay, that makes sense. He said to take a look up there. Well my attic enterance is a tiny little hole in a cubby in my bathroom. I've never looked up there because I don't use my attic for storage. I crawled up and I think you have to be some tiny little monkey to get up there. I looked around and the way the roof is slanted, I couldn't see anything if there was snow up there. There is nothing I can do and I just hope that whatever snow was up there that is it gone now!! But I am still afraid that once it warms up, will I have a mess and major damage? Please pray that I don't!! I can't afford it! I wonder if my house insurance would cover it?



Kim

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2/2/11 6:11 P

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JAZZERCISEGENIE, did you get that electric bill sorted out? Something similar happened to my folks. They moved, gave change of address to the telephone company and thought they were receiving bills. In the chaos of moving, settling in and stuff they didn't realize that they were not receiving any bills. I tried to call one night and was informed the number had been disconnected. Long and short, after days and days of battle the telephone company reinstated the phone, agreed to suck in part of the bill but the largest piece they had to pay which was 6 months of back payments. I hope you got your issue resolved.

Sugarsmom, how are things going in your neck of the woods? How is your daughter doing?

LindaR, that is rough. Just remember that you can make arrangments for payment plan. That's really rough.





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Sighhhh...just finished our taxes and we owe for state. This was even after I had extra state taxes withheld during 2010 to make sure we paid plenty. I guess I need to increase that again for this year. I hate paying!!!

Linda from Antioch, California

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hi .. my daughter has worked at the local hospital in the kitchen for over twenty five years . she is now one of the head cooks . they are having trouble at the hospital . she is finding her workers harder to deal with . she has been passed over for many promotion and feels left over . I can see her side of this . she is now looking to find another job . over 500 miles away and is hoping to be able to move where her daughter lives . I will miss her if she gets the job . I have based my life around her and her children all grown now but i still have my nose in their business . so this will help her break all her ties here and go . I do not want to add to her burdens .. with .. well me .. in my old age i do not want her to feel she must stay to care for dad and i if she goes . we will take care of our selfs in our old age . had some plans about life and all that . we shop every week and i enjoy this . will not go without her . afraid of driving in all the pittsburgh traffic. small town girl . so am depressed a bit..

sugarsmom2 donna wva


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12/7/10 9:33 A

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Weird! But I would be calling rather than sending an email about not applying a payment. I know I had a similar issue with a credit card pymt. They told me I didn't pay one month and I did, but the payment was made early and in the previous month by just a few days. I argued that one because I thought it was stupid that they didn't want the pymt in earlier than when it was due. I won that argument!!!

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our electriccompany did not send us a correct bill for now. 1.17?? wow wouldn't that be great so trying to tell them. Now for dec we are charged a fee for not paying nov bill but tried to tell them plus paid them 160.00 even though the bill was 1.17
no office not answering emails and no one on customer service cares????

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11/27/10 10:20 P

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We also have a white elephant. This is usually something we don't want that is sitting around the house or something that is bought at the dollar store for really cheap. It is pretty fun to see what we get, because it sometimes is something passed around year after year.

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11/27/10 8:47 P

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my kids do the same thing. 25dollars for adults the kids exchange 15, its fun and not as costky as buying gifts
35 people today my house 1433 cookies baked

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11/27/10 7:51 P

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My brothers and I stopped giving each other gifts when we had children and realized we just couldn't afford it anymore. We actually have a "Yankee Swap" for the adults of the family, which has become a fun tradition. Each person brings 1 wrapped gift (the rule in our family is it cannot cost more than $20). The first person take a gift and unwraps it. The second person either takes a different gift and unwraps it or takes away the gift from the first person. The two rules are that 1) you cannot go home with the gift you brought, and 2) you cannot have a gift on your lap more than 3 times. It ends up being quite a fun way to spend time together. Also, we stop giving gifts to the nephews/nieces/grandchildren when they are 18 years old and invite them to join the Yankee Swap.

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11/23/10 2:26 P

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You also do not have to consult your daughter in the choice of gifts for your grandkids.

Edited by: CJANSEN40 at: 11/23/2010 (14:32)
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11/22/10 12:43 P

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It's tough when you want to do more and are unable to do what you'd like. Really tough. It's hard when you want to do much and can't.

As I shared before, giving isn't about stuff, it's about heart. We all know that though, sometimes we just have to repeat it like a mantra, to remind self that it's not a "gift season", it's a "heart season."

Some suggestions when one can't afford to buy gifts or the material costs to make gifts is to give time as gifts, handmake a gc with something like "good for 1 hr of house cleaning" or "good for one babysitting day". Even children can get into it with cleaning gc(s) or even gc(s) for giving bear hugs.

As for daughter, I'd have a real serious heart to heart and lay it on the line. Christmas isn't about gifts, it's about spending time together - whether on phone, through letters or in person.

Another thing that can be done, is volunteering as a family - giving the gift of spirit. That can really be a heart warming way to share the season, along with reminding everyone what the season truly is about.

Edited by: SASSISPRING at: 11/22/2010 (13:12)

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11/22/10 11:00 A

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I don't know how old your grandkids are, but my mom quit giving the grandchildren gift after a certain age (if they were making their own living or married). She gives what she can afford.

Not that I hate Christmas, I don't, but not being able to buy gifts for my mom and sisters is depressing. They get me gifts which makes it worst. They know I don't have the money so they don't care if they don't get anything from me. I personally hate it! Not sure what I will be doing for this Christmas.

I just went through my bills this morning and it seems I am a bit behind on a few, but should be ok as long as I make some kind of pymt, especially on the utilities. Not sure how I am going to make the extra housepymt yet. It seems like it is the first time since I've even looked at my bills in weeks, because I just haven't been able to deal with depression the last couple of weeks. I couldn't bring myself to do it until today. Will try to get my modification request paperwork together tonight.

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11/22/10 10:02 A

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my daughter does not get it. wanted stocking suffers cheap ones like the dollar store. she wants me to give her son 15.00 gas gift card as one of his stocking stuffers. Ok but then I would have to do that for the rest of grandchildren 7 so what part of cutting back does she realize emoticon

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11/20/10 6:33 P

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I got a certified letter in the mail today from my mortgage company. Last week I got a regular letter from them threatening forclosure. This letter I just had to laugh at when I read it. It said there was help available if I was having difficulting making payments. They are offering the modification throught the government that I already applied for and was denied for!!! So much for their help. Well still have to try their "traditional" modification.

Kim

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11/20/10 12:54 P

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Yep same ole same ole the rich get richer. We are on SS no raise for 3 years maybe longer, but the price of food and everything else is going up up up. Jewel

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Yes and GM comes smelling out of bankruptcy like a rose. Billong given to companies brother can you spare a dime. I guess for me This lesson is learned too late. Don't go into a store by myself. the sad thing is my husband cannot trust me and I need supervision.

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11/15/10 2:15 P

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I am almost sure I have never posted on this team,but I know I have huddled. My heart goes out to all of you, I have been there and done that JAZZERCISEGENE I think I have been there and done of what everyone spoke of. I had to quit watching the news over this crap it is just awful on how hard it is on everyone everywhere except where I live the less you make the better. My DH had a heart attack, and is now on SS and they are talking of cutting that so he say's I worked all those years for nothing
I wish you all the best. Thanks for letting me ramble here. We live payck. to payck. I see my kids and lots of others suffering. All you can do is what ya gotta do. They make that harder everyday at least when we went through it the mortage company would work with you. Now days anyone is lucky to get a lone
God Bless. Jewell

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we had no coice bankruptcy and chapter 7. we struggle though this week starting a budget and writing evey penny we spend. did not go well we had company and spent more money then we wanted so this week can not buy anything. The stress from paying or trying to pay all my crdit cards was a nighmare. Yes I cannot be alone in a store or have the checkbook or any money. It is not possible. Is this the right way to go I am not sure but for us alittle peace of mind that we can pay for heat when winter is coming.

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Don't feel bad, I went to CCC and didn't qualify for help either. I was told that I needed to make either another $400/mo, which I already knew, or to file bankruptcy. At the time bankruptcy was not in my vocabulary and really I still don't want it to be.

I have also incurred medical bills in the last couple of months, vet bill, and bought a mattress set on credit. So my debt has increased and I cannot get any help from the mortgage company about modifying my loan. They are now telling to apply for a "traditional" mod instead of what I applied for throught the government. Yesterday I got a letter from the bank stating I owe X amt for Oct, Nov, & Dec or they will forclose on my house. I am really only one month behind. I do not know how I will come up with the money except for not paying other bills that I have. I hate not to pay on my credit cards as they will increase my rates and also one comes out automatically so I can't stop that one. Not sure what I will do by Dec.

My bf that moved here from Oregon in Sept, decided to move back so we are no longer a couple. I am very heartbroken about it, but he has issues and depression he needs to deal with on his own. It is a long story, but I am hoping we can remain friends and that he finds the peace he is looking for.

Even though I may be in the hole, I am thinking of visiting my sister in FL for a week in Dec. My mom said she would help me pay for the tickets. I just feel with all the garbage I am dealing with, need a break away from my home, a change of scenery.

Kim

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Joanne, sorry to hear you didn't qualify and as I've said before, it sure is different down there from up here. I wish you had the program that I (and my bff) are under because it sure takes a load off. Everyone qualifies - the difference is whether they recommend bankruptcy or pay-off. I pay 10% of my total debt as payment for them taking care of things. I can't recall what my bff paid with the company she went under but it wasn't much. Plus they don't take it upfront, it's woven into the monthly payments. I wish that I could give that to you.

Good on you for talking to your therapist on all this stuff. I find that it really helps to talk to counsellors when things get tough.

What I did when I was compulsively shopping was go to the mall and sit there with a drink - coffee, juice, whatever. I'd people watch. I could sit there for hours just watching people. When I felt that I could deal with it, I would go into the stores and window shop. Often I brought cash, like $5 and that was all I could spend. I know that doesn't work for everyone but it really worked for me. It was weird as normally I hate shopping but when I was in a depression spiral, I stopped eating and shopped. So now I know when that feeling comes on that I have to deal with the underlying depression.

Hang in there, keep sharing and we are here for you. ((hugs))



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11/14/10 10:30 A

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Consumer Credit Counseling gave me some mumbo jumbo about why I didn't qualify. They said I could my bills myself, oh yeah they charge $40 a month to handle my bills. They said it wouldnt be cost effective since I only had to credit cards and one would not negotiate and the other had to low an interest rate bec it is a credit union. There you have it. It's depressing to me. Thanks for your support.

Joanne

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Hi Joanne, Sending a hug your way. Money is tight everywhere so you are not alone. I, too, have medical bills that my insurance company didn't pay. A battle I lost! But know I should be thankful for what they do pay, especially on the prescriptions. I no longer have credit cards but still owe on the ones I use to have. Why did you not qualify for Consumer Credit Counseling? I thought they were there for everyone to help pay off bills, I have thought about contacting them, but keep thinking I can do it on my own. Remember you are not alone and we are here for you with support.

Make this a Healthy Choice Day!

Linda-Missouri (CST)


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Money is very tight right now for me. I have a lot of medical bills and a couple of credit cards to pay off. I went to Consumer Credit Counseling but I don't qualify for their program. They did give me a budget though.

It is difficult when I have to stay at home because it costs money to do things especially with the holidays coming up. I'm trying not to stress over them like I usually do. I know there are lots of free things but I am also a compulsive spender and wherever I go I have to hold on tight to the reins not to spend money. I also like to eat 1 meal out each day since I don't cook. I guess I need to mend my ways. My therapist is helping me with it.

Thanks for listening.

Joanne

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I can only say it is tough to depart with my money (paycheck) I just got today. I was, however, surprised when I looked at my checking account. There was more money in my acct...hmmmm! I knew we were supposed to get a one-time bonus, but it wasn't in the amount I had hoped it would be and I also didn't know if it would be in because it depended on my review which I had received yet. My boss has been really busy and hasn't given reviews yet. Well I looked at my paystubs on-line and duh....they took out taxes on the bonus, so I did get the minimum amount for the bonus! Also I did get a raise!! My boss did turn in our reviews, but just haven't given them to us formally! So today the extra was nice. Now if expenses (utilities) will quit going up, maybe I can turn things around!!

Kim

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9/13/10 6:38 P

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today i want to send my thoughts to those of you that need a hug . or a kind word . work is needed by most shame we can not get the company to rehire all they laid off but it does not sound like it is going to get better any time soon . It can not when you think of it . they closed mills and shut down factory's and by the millions . only hired back a few thousand . we need lots of stuff understanding is a small part of what is needed .

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9/9/10 9:29 P

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I think that temp agency was just thinking of herself. I am finding a similar thing, HR dosen't believe I can know as much as I do because I got a degree in something else!

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That is the thing about companies in my opinion, they want to hire the less experience people so they don't have to pay them the big bucks. What is the experienced person supposed to do?!

I was really put off by a temp agency about 2-3 weeks ago. I applied for a position that I had experience in, but it was "current" experience. The woman, which I thought was rather rude in what she said, was " I don't know why you applied, nobody would hire you in that field because you don't have current experience. You won't be able to get into that field again. You might has well apply for job with your current experience."

Excuse me??? I have 20 yrs in that field regardless of when I got it or last used it, I don't see the big deal, it isn't like I forgot it. It would just take me a little time to learn the new updated stuff, but it is still all the same...just new rules and regs. I don't want to do what I am currently doing because I don't really like it. I never contacted her back after that. I just felt that she was just a big downer and I felt..."gee, thanks for the vote of confidence"!! It just wasn't right of her to say that to me in my opinion.

Kim

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Been awhile since I was here. Nice to read posts sharing similar issues and frustrations and very nice to read all the good news!! :)

Hope things work out with the bonus SophieMae.

Update from me, my application for a 30hr per week position that is permanent was accepted. It is actually coverage for medical leave but I talked with the person on leave and she received long term disability. I had to give up both counselling positions which is fine. I will miss working the one position as it's "my baby" and it'll be hard to see someone else take it over. I'll miss working with the kids and youth, however, I won't miss all the politics and frustrations that come with the position.

I had to accept a decrease in hourly wage but it's that or work 20hrs per week at a slightly higher wage. I did the math and come out ahead taking the cut. I'll supplement with contract work up to full-time hours. Right now I'm pulling 40hrs per week because I'm balancing 4 programs but it'll end soon.

I'm still frustrated but not allowing it to eat me up. I can't change society. Seriously though, I've had my fill of folks telling me it was about time that I made a change. I was good at my job, I have a solid reputation in schools, social services and community with the work. I could teach these "youngsters" a thing or two but I'm seen as an old goat who refused to leave the party. My dad says when he worked, long term employees were cherished and other employees saw them as being "smart." Said it started changing the years prior to his retirement to working on a farm (back in the 70s) and he saw new workers coming in with attitude and a push to get rid of long term employees (as we cost money, in higher wages, benefits etc).

I've been told many times that I'm expensive. Well duh, I come with experience, I would hope that I am expensive! But the truth is that one stops receiving any monetary gains after 5yrs, so people don't realize how stalled I've been. Sure I've received the typical 0, 1, 1.5% raise hikes but truth is, cost of living was higher! And I receive nothing more than what everyone else receives, except I'm at top wage (which is only $3 difference from the lowest).

Oh well ~shrug~ it is what it is. The new position is working with foster parents to support their work in the home and prevent breakdown of foster homes. I also will work in the local youth group home and do workshops. It'll be a good change from heavy duty counselling, although already my counselling skills are being called into play. It won't be the same depth though as what I've been doing.

Still working on the debt and it'll be done December 2011. After that I'll take a break, save and then decide what I'm going to do. I just know that I can't keep working in the same place for another 10yrs. It'll be 19yrs this November. Time to make a change and not just internally....just not sure what'll be.




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What is atb? antibiotic?

I spent money over the weekend...well financed...I bought a new mattress for my bed along with a twin mattress for my spare bed. Both were needed and I feel I got a pretty good deal on them. Now I just have to make sure I have the payment every month for the next twelve months because it is interest free. Miss one pymt and they hit you with the back interest of over 25%. Ouch!!

Still watching what I spend else where this month. I was reading an article on my employer's intranet and it said that we should be getting a one-time bonus for those that don't qualify for any other type of bonuses (commissions). It could range from $500 to $1100 depending on your performance. It said our managers should advise us what we will be getting and we should be getting them Sept 17. I haven't heard anything yet and I also know it is review time. My boss has been so busy that she hasn't had time to go over reviews...we review ourselves then she does giving us the "final" review for the year. I assume I will probably get the usual 3% raise. Every little bit helps!!

Kim

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0
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