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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
6/9/11 1:36 P

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I still miss my baby Ringo so much. I have his feathers next to my bed.

I will be getting a new baby next week. That will help me so much.

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
2/9/11 12:44 P

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bringing this one up to the front too. Love you all!!

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
3/11/09 9:23 P

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Well, I think Gini only lives a half hour away. I don't think you could make it all the way out here.

I am not sure if he will come/work through me but we can sure try. How old was he? Can you email me his full name so I can also take a look at it?

Hugs, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
3/11/09 9:03 P

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Jetta, save me a room I am comint also!

Seriously, Gin- I have been dealing with a lot of death lately and death to come, but it in no way would compare to the loss and the damage it would do to me to lose my baby. (at 26 she is still my baby). I cannot even think of that without tears. I would say that there would come a time when most things go on normal, but I am sure there would be things that would bring back tons of memories flowing. Being a mom, I don't think it is stupid at all and to me you have to be very brave and very strong to be going like you are now. I can't see a period of time that that kind of grief would be over.

Pandora - how are you doing? I know it has to be really hard right now with all you have gone through. Remember we are all here for you and all know exactly what you are going through and what you are feeling.

Tamela G. Benjamin


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
3/11/09 12:23 P

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Pandora, please go easy on yourself. It takes time, we are here holding your hand. Sending you love and peace to your heart. Love, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
3/11/09 12:22 P

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Gini, would it help if and when we get together if I can try to bring him in so you can have some peace and finality? Just a thought. I did it for my neice with her mom (my sister) It is making you sick and not a good thing.

We need to do it in person though, maybe you can meet at my house soon ok?

Love you, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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RAIDERMOM2277 Posts: 2,875
3/11/09 8:17 A

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No it's not crazy, it profoundly affected your life and it will always be a part of it. Everyone grieves differently and healing sometimes takes a little longer. My prayers go out to you, losing a child is a difficult thing to deal with.
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Tina

“For all my good intentions, there are days when things go wrong or I fall into old habits. When things are not going well, when I'm grumpy or mad, I'll realize that I've not been paying attention to my soul.


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GINITONIC's Photo GINITONIC SparkPoints: (0)
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3/11/09 12:58 A

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Is it totally crazy to feel as sad and just utterly torn apart 14 years after the death of a loved one. I've been slowly dealing with my son's death for 13+ years and thought I was doing well most of the time, but the other day I sat down to watch a recording of Extreme Home Makeover on ABC and it was profiling a family who's mother takes pictures of babies in the NICU, that's where my son spent most of his life, the rest of it in the pediatric ICU. Anyway, I still can't watch shows with that kind of subject. Even thinking about it or seeing a glimpse of an image of a premie baby brings me to the point of tears.
I feel stupid because I know it was a long time ago and most of you are experiencing more recent losses and the grief much more fresh. I guess I just don't know how to deal with it because he's the only blood relative I will ever have. He's the only relative I had a real bond with. I was in touch with my grandparents before they passed but their deaths didn't affect me even one tenth as much as my son. I feel like a horrible person because I did love them and they were in my life a lot longer than my son. We spent almost all our holidays together up until the last few years where the other side of the family tried to tear us apart and keep us from seeing them. (long story, lots of bitterness from one side of the family that goes back to another generation and just kinda rolled over on mine)
I just wish I knew how to make peace and be able to appreciate the wonderful work that woman on the show was doing and also for all the people who work in that field because, when he was with me, all the nurses and social workers were always so supportive and helpful.

Make it a good day,

Gini

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PANDORA2782's Photo PANDORA2782 Posts: 51
3/10/09 11:02 P

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I feel weary to the depths of my soul. I have not been sleeping, even with the aid of medication. Thank you for your concern, ladies. I know I will get through this eventually, I just feel so shell shocked right now.

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BABYFACE26's Photo BABYFACE26 Posts: 2,804
3/10/09 6:30 P

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Glad you are here with us, Tanya, getting some kind of comfort, even if it is small, from this supportive and empathetic team.

ELLEN


Strength is the capacity to break a Chocolate bar into 4 pieces with your bare hands and then Eat just 1 of the pieces."
Judith Viorst

There is no elevator to Success. You have to take the Stairs.


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
3/10/09 7:20 A

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How are you doing my friend????

Sending you love and hugs, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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PANDORA2782's Photo PANDORA2782 Posts: 51
3/8/09 8:58 P

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I just want to thank all of you who have left me messages. Your thoughts, prayers, and energy are greatly appreciated at this time. Thank you all for being such a wonderful support system.

XOXO
Tanya

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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
3/8/09 1:11 A

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Pandora, I am so sorry, gosh, so much pain and death in such a short time. I know words can't take it away and the greiving process is needed. Just know you don't have to do it alone. We are here for you and there are many other people that you can reach out to.

Keep breathing, pay attention to your breathing.

Take one day or even hour at a time. Hugs, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
3/7/09 11:49 P

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Pandora, I am so sorry for your loss. I know my grandfather was one of the most special people ever in my life also. I am dealing with some losses and now one I know is coming but not when. I cannot imagine how much you must hurt to have that many losses so quick. I am trying to figure out how to deal with just a few. Try to hang in there and post whenever you feel like it. I know it helped me so much with my brother. If you ever need to talk one-on-one about how you are feeling please feel free to sparkmail me at any time. emoticon emoticon

Tamela G. Benjamin


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PANDORA2782's Photo PANDORA2782 Posts: 51
3/7/09 10:48 P

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Today I lost my grandfather to lung cancer. My grandpa was a huge part of my life...more like a father, actually. I am glad he is not in pain any longer, but my heart feels like it shattered. In 10 months, I have lost my father, both my grandpas, and two uncles. I have been doing my best to cope, but I have still been grieving for those losses, and now this. I just don't know how I am going to get through this. It hurts so badly.

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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
2/28/09 7:02 P

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I don't want to take yours, everyone will think it is you and since we are in this room. I sure don't want to cause you any grief or loss. lol



Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
2/28/09 3:56 P

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I'll go look. If not you can have this one. I just have to figure out how to mail it to you.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
2/28/09 9:02 A

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Do you have another baby one for me to use???

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
2/26/09 9:38 A

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Thank you. I was having trouble finding one so Mammy sent me a bunch.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
2/25/09 1:05 P

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Love your new pic Janey!!!!!!!

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
2/25/09 12:01 P

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Yes, Thank you Tina. emoticon JJ

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
2/24/09 11:08 P

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Tina, thanks so much for typing that. It is all so true and it is great to see it written down.

Tamela G. Benjamin


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RAIDERMOM2277 Posts: 2,875
2/24/09 8:49 P

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Your welcome, I just hope it helps someone.
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Tina

“For all my good intentions, there are days when things go wrong or I fall into old habits. When things are not going well, when I'm grumpy or mad, I'll realize that I've not been paying attention to my soul.


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
2/24/09 7:24 P

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Thank you Tina for taking the time to type it. Hugs, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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RAIDERMOM2277 Posts: 2,875
2/24/09 4:28 P

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Kutey504,
I couldn't find the author to the booklet I was telling you about. But I did type some of the pages that helped me. Hope it helps you to.

Losing someone close is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. The absence of a person you loved may seem like a hole in you life you will never be able to fill. But just as you have the capacity to love, you also have the ability to heal when you lose someone you love.

Give grief the time it needs, remembering and celebrating your loved one and letting your grief deepen your compassion and faith. Grieving is a path that has its own wisdom to offer along the way. Grieving is a process that takes time. Like a physical illness or injury, healing from the loss of someone close happens according to its own timetable.
Grief will not be denied. If you refuse to deal with it, you will never find peace. Grief is like an enormous boulder which must be ground into pebbles. There is no schedule. Each day you do what you can to chisel away at it. When you finally get down to the very last pebble, you put it in your pocket and carry it with you always, forever.

Remember and be grateful for the one you lost. Remembering your loved one may be painful right after your loss, but in time, you will be able to look beyond the sadness to the treasured legacy of memories and good feelings left behind. The times you spent together were blessing for both of you
Living your life with passion does not betray the memory of your loved one. It is a tribute to the one who would want only the best for you.
Talk to your loved one. Visits to the cemetery can be a great time for a one way heartfelt conversation.
Strange as it may seem, there is a gift to be found in the pain. The awareness of death is a gift of wisdom to help us with life’s events. In the midst of unprecedented grief, recognize the abiding and valuable gift you have received from the loved ones who are no longer with you.

Loss is not simply letting go, it’s not losing. It’s a transformation. You no longer have the day to day physical involvement, but you never lose the memories. Healing does not mean forgetting

Within your love is a greater love. Beyond this world is another world. Do not get lost and do not lose hope.

emoticon
Tina

“For all my good intentions, there are days when things go wrong or I fall into old habits. When things are not going well, when I'm grumpy or mad, I'll realize that I've not been paying attention to my soul.


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
2/24/09 4:26 P

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Thanks Tina, I will see if our Library may have the book. It may help on one that I know is enevitable now also and with Mark. Even though I am better with him, it sounds like good reading

Tamela G. Benjamin


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
2/23/09 7:22 P

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There are also grief support groups that may help.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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RAIDERMOM2277 Posts: 2,875
2/21/09 7:44 P

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Kutey504
The booklet is good for anyone that has had a loss. I'm really not sure where the booklet comes from, when I go to work on Monday I'll check for you. It's really a good book.
emoticon
Tina

“For all my good intentions, there are days when things go wrong or I fall into old habits. When things are not going well, when I'm grumpy or mad, I'll realize that I've not been paying attention to my soul.


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
2/20/09 11:31 P

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Raidermom, is that book for someone that just had a loss or is it good reading for a loss several months ago? To me, it sounds like it would be real inspirational.
Can you tell me who the author is so I can see if our library might have it?

Edited by: KUTEY504 at: 2/20/2009 (23:33)
Tamela G. Benjamin


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
2/20/09 8:00 P

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That is what so special about this team. You all!!!!!!! Love you deeply and Thank you!

(((((((((((((Pandora)))))))))))) emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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RAIDERMOM2277 Posts: 2,875
2/20/09 7:38 P

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Pandora,
You and your family are going through alot right now. I have a great little book called "Gone from our Sight" that I could send you some of the articles if you think it would help.
Take Care and remember that we are here to help if you need us.

“For all my good intentions, there are days when things go wrong or I fall into old habits. When things are not going well, when I'm grumpy or mad, I'll realize that I've not been paying attention to my soul.


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
2/20/09 5:28 P

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Pandora, What Jetta says really works.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
2/19/09 8:20 P

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Pandora, I am so sorry for so many losses. I know it is hard to see things through so much grief. You can ask for assistance either in a sign or a dream from them or your guides. Go to bed with the intention of finding some answers and peace. You are going through a huge growth period and you will get your answers soon.

Bless you and your family. Lots of love to you, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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BABYFACE26's Photo BABYFACE26 Posts: 2,804
2/19/09 7:54 P

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Pandora, I was just reading your post, and am concerned for you. I hope u are taking good care of yourself..That is a whole lot of grief for one person to have to handle. I have read things by psychic Sylvia Browne, that have framed Death in a whole different light. She admits that she is looking forward to it, herself. The Other Side, is where there is no more suffering, no more pain.
We are all happy there, and learning valuable lessons for our next lives. We are all united with loved ones, including our pets. Sometimes it helps to look at it from this perspective. I hope that it helps a little.
Blessings,
Ellen


Strength is the capacity to break a Chocolate bar into 4 pieces with your bare hands and then Eat just 1 of the pieces."
Judith Viorst

There is no elevator to Success. You have to take the Stairs.


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
1/19/09 1:40 P

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Those are beautiful and empathetic words Tammy.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/18/09 11:53 A

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Pandora, I am so sorry. That is a terrible load to carry in one year. You know that they are better off there than here, yet we are too gready and too needy and want them here with us. I have only had to deal with my brother this year and cannot imagine that many people dying at once. I do know that when my grandfather died in 1989, my grandmother died 29 days after him - from grief and wanting to be where he was. It hurt an awful lot too, but I know she wanted to go. I hope someone else can give you better words of wisdom than I have tried and I also hope that you are getting regular screenings for cancer because it looks like there is a lot of cancer in the family.
If you need anything at all, just let me know
Tammy

Tamela G. Benjamin


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
1/18/09 11:53 A

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You have a lot on your plate. As Jetta says you are not alone. You are surrounded by your spirit guides and angels. They will help you and we are here for you. I miss the people I have lost but they are with me in spirit.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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PANDORA2782's Photo PANDORA2782 Posts: 51
1/18/09 11:25 A

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I just wanted to say that I really feel for those of you who are dealing with grief, loss, and loved ones who are ill. I, too, have had a very tough year. In May, I found out both of my grandfathers had cancer. The following day, my father, only 48, died of a heart attack. 11 weeks after my father's passing, my grandfather (his father) died of a heart attack (shortly after receiving his first chemo treatment). 2 weeks later, one of my great uncles died of cancer. Two days before Christmas, my maternal grandmother lost another brother (2 brothers in 4 months; this brother was only 50). Since then, my dad's mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, which is severely impacted by her depression over losing another son and her husband of almost 53 years. My other grandfather is still valiantly fighting stage 4 lung cancer, and so far the 2 types of chemo he has tried haven't worked. His tumors have been growing. He just underwent about a month of radiation...hopefully he will see some results. Due to the tumors, he has a collapsed lung, so he isn't breathing well. The doctors won't surgically fix it because they are afraid he will not heal from the procedure. He's also so weak from the radiation. He is starting his new form of chemo this week. I am praying for a miracle for him, despite how grim things seem.

Dealing with the grief over losing 4 loved ones is hard, but worrying about my paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather is even harder. I am so worried that something is going to happen to them. It is so hard losing so many people in so short a time frame. I am having great difficulty accepting all of these things in my life that I cannot change. I cannot bring back my dad, my grandpa, or my uncles, and the prospect of losing another grandpa is heart-wrenching. My grandma, on the other hand, isn't ill with a terminal disease, but she is so depressed that she really doesn't want to live anymore. She feels like a burden to us all, and she just wants to be with her husband and sons (my father and his brother who died 40 years ago at age 5).

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to come to terms with this? Or how to find acceptance in this situation? I am trying my best, but I am just so sad and scared.



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1/18/09 8:13 A

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Make sure you have some quiet time to listen to them!! Love you, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/18/09 2:36 A

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Thanks. I really do need them to be with me right now.

Tamela G. Benjamin


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
1/17/09 11:09 P

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I felt that you could use it right now. I was just moved inside to pick you. You are not alone, your guides are with you too. Love, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/17/09 10:57 P

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Thanks. Also, how did I become buddy of the week? I was shocked and really honored emoticon

Tamela G. Benjamin


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
1/17/09 8:57 A

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Good luck my friend. Hugs, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/16/09 11:23 P

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my mom has a car, but I was taken off it when I had a few accidents in a row. It has been over 2 years now so I can drive it with her in it. If I can't get the car fixed, I am going to see if she will transfer the title and I will get insurance in my name. She could drive it if she had to then (which for the last month she wont even drive) - Have to see what they wanna charge to fix it. It is not worth much now and I aint gonna pay more than the car is worth

Tamela G. Benjamin


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
1/16/09 8:49 P

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Janey, that is what I asked her on the other thread. Great minds think alike!!!

Hope nothing severe is wrong. Love you guys, Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
1/16/09 4:51 P

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Those sound like real worries to me. You should get some sleep. Does your mom have a car you can use?

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/16/09 1:54 P

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I think I need to sleep and heal. My car made a popping noise and totally died today. They say it will be Monday sometime till they can look at it. The stress of that happening has made me totally sick at my stomach worrying about what it could be and what it will cost

Tamela G. Benjamin


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
1/16/09 12:44 P

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That sounds very productive Tammy. Sometimes I think sleep allows us to heal.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/15/09 2:03 P

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Thanks everyone.
I really do believe that she is scared now and afraid to be alone. The meds she is taking make her sleep a lot. She hardly ever slept during the day. Her next appointment should be next week and I am going to ask if the chemo pills are making her so tired and so weak. Also I am going to ask how long are we looking at before we know if the pills are shrinking the mass any. I just have to keep her quiet at the doctors long enough to get my questions in. LOL

Tamela G. Benjamin


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IMJETTA8's Photo IMJETTA8 Posts: 24,118
1/15/09 10:54 A

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Thank you Gay and Janey!!!!!!!!

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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JANEYJ.'s Photo JANEYJ. Posts: 6,805
1/15/09 10:46 A

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One thing I learned about life is that nothing stays the same and we have to deal with each moment the best we can.

EVEN IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, YOU WILL GET RUN OVER IF YOU JUST SIT THERE. WILL ROGERS

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily.

www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm


sparkpeople.com/myspark/blog_prompt.as
p
www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/dogpoem
s.html
Ilovelifeandlifelovesme.


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CRAFTYLADY65's Photo CRAFTYLADY65 Posts: 6,253
1/15/09 10:44 A

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Tamela I do understand how you feel. But most people I have talked to that have been caregiver to a loved one report the same things. I though my husband just didn;t want to be alone but several other friends I have talked to that looked after their husbands/wives through a terminal illness said the ill person seemed to need to know where you were all the time. Maybe a form of security blanket for them I don't know but I do know that my husband watched the clock and if I was out he knew how long I should be and when I came home he would say you are late. and if I was not in the bedroom with him he would call out Where are you. once I asked him why did he need something No he said I just wanted to know where you were. So it is something that happens to all I think. My husband also did a form of chemo in a pill and it made him sleep. The one nurse who came in told me that if he didn't get any side effects it probably wasn;t working and I think thats what happened with him. Keep in contact and keep talking to us because I know I needed that last year we will always be here

Gay

The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious onto you


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1/15/09 7:40 A

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Tamela, I know it must be so hard and confusing to you. Even the guilt you feel for thinking you are selfish. Blow that up in a rose or balloon. You can also ground your mom and give her a healing as well. I will soon have the Healing Master class and if you want, get a heaing Master to help you to help heal others so you don't have to extend so much of your own energy.

Your mom is just so exremely petrified about everything. I am sure she is afraid of leaving you, of burnening you, being so helpless makes us react in a totally different way than we EVER would.

Remember to use the tools that are here. They will help you cope. Talk to your mom about them too if she is open to it. Teach her about grounding, about bringing in healing energy to that part is cancerous. She has to get to a point of healing and realization within herself in order to heal too. You can't do that for her.

So if you can teach her a little bit of grounding and calling back her own energy that would really help her. Or if not, you can do it for her too. there are so many tools to help you and your mom both to feel better.

I see her in your life for you to learn patience and self love. To really look at your own fears and beliefs. You are strong and will see a huge growth in yourself in all of this. I promise.

Love you my friend. Jetta

Blessings & Love, Jetta :-)

Your every loving act, thought & feeling blesses everyone everywhere... every time you smile, you are a channel for more love and beauty to come thru you and into our world.

I LOVE YOU!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQJPeRwKek&
feature=pyv&ad=3


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WESLEYSMAMA's Photo WESLEYSMAMA Posts: 4,670
1/14/09 9:49 P

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Ah, so she takes it at home then. Okay, just wondered. There are so many different treatments now. It's so hard, we've come so far, but chemo definitely is not any where near perfect yet. = (

So, you really are at the beginning. That's got to really be stressful. Well, if they are not talking hospice at all, maybe she might even pull through? Who knows? Hard to see, the future is.....as Yoda would say.

I really hear you on the questions. I hate that about living with parents. My in-laws are constantly asking about our plans and just what we are doing in general. Loss of that freedom and privacy is so stressful for any adult used to independance.

It's good you're looking for positives in the situation. That's always good.

I'm sending some prayers your way, hon, in hopes that you will be inspired with some solutions for coping until something changes. Please know that you are loved, and we are all here for you. *hugs*

Lord, grant me patience, because you grant me strength, I'll end up killing people.



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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/14/09 9:15 P

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The chemo she is taking right now is in a pill form. It is new and targets just liver and kidney cancer. I think the chemo pill - like other chemo's is what is making her so weak and making her feel bad. Right now she is not at any stage for hospice to come and help any but when they do ask if we need someone to come in and help out with anything, I sure am going to take them up on their offer. Also, as long as they are not talking hospice right now I know that they do not think her time is near. I have moved in with her so I am here if she needs me, but I get tired of the where are you going and when are you coming back questions like I got in high school. Right now I just have to keep reminding myself she is sick and if I were, she would be doing anything that she could for me. One good thing is that she is taking my mind off of Mark more right now though

Tamela G. Benjamin


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WESLEYSMAMA's Photo WESLEYSMAMA Posts: 4,670
1/14/09 4:41 P

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emoticon I know it's easy to just tell someone how to feel...and not right to boot....but I think your conflicting emotions are pretty normal, and I really wish there was some way to allievate your guilt. It's okay to feel angry and frustrated at your mom, just as much as you love her and feel sympathy for her losing her independance. The place she is getting chemo from, do they have what is called a navigator? In oncology, a navigator is a nurse that deals directly with patients and families, helping them to understand the process of cancer, chemo, and even dying, if that is appropriate. They are there to answer questions, make suggestions, and generally help the family be more comfortable in whatever way they can. If this is not available, I would look into a caregiver firm for some help. It's not fair to either of you to allow the frustration and the resentment to build....perfectly acceptable to feel at times, but not something to wallow in. = (

I really wish the best for you and your family. I know you've been through a lot already, and this is not anything near an easy task.

Lord, grant me patience, because you grant me strength, I'll end up killing people.



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KUTEY504's Photo KUTEY504 Posts: 10,708
1/14/09 3:50 P

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Thanks WM. I know it is not right, but when she wants something or something done, she expects me to drop everything and do it that second. A lot of the time it drives me crazy. I know she is weak and not feeling good at all from the chemo pill so I feel guilty when I get frustrated. Then again, if she sleeps long, I have to go in and check on her to make sure she is OK. It is like frustation, then checking up to make sure she is OK if she doesne' tell me to do something for awhile. When she does get worse, I believe I will go crazy since we are just now beginning this journey. I also think a lot of it is that she has always been so independant and that has gone away already which really bothers me.
OK- novel is over. LOL

PS- sorry about the cat. The only thing I put down was my mom's poodle several years ago. She was very old and had arthritis so bad it hurt her to even move. I got the "honor" of taking her and held her through the whole thing. It is a very hard thing to have to lose a pet

Tamela G. Benjamin


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WESLEYSMAMA's Photo WESLEYSMAMA Posts: 4,670
1/14/09 12:32 P

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emoticon You guys are makin' me blush again.....I just move as the Spirit moves me. Some days I find poems, some days I talk to animals, some days I totally strike out....LOL. Thank you for the compliments and returning the love. = )

Jetta, Janey is soooooo right...this is your year, babe!

Gay, that is a good way of explaining it, and doing that for an aged or mortally wounded animal in pain is such a selfless act, to give them an easy transition. I'm sure the kindness you all have shown to your animals will be returned several times over. = )

Kutey, I really, really feel for you. Being a caregiver is a rough job, especially for a close loved one with a serious condition. I have confidence that you will be able to balance your own energy and find the joys that are mingled in your sorrow. = )

emoticon I really, really love you all.

Lord, grant me patience, because you grant me strength, I'll end up killing people.



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