I have always attracted energies to myself. It's hard to remember many specific instances from my childhood, as both my brother and I have very few childhood memories....he actually can't remember anything from before he was like 10.
My parents never abused us, but my dad struggles with depression, and he was hard to be around, as I would pick up on his energy. And, he says some crazy things sometimes, things that aren't really lies, but they are not truth either...they are from some odd place in his mind, where he has trapped himself.
I remember once, my brother crying, and I went in his room to see what was wrong. We had just moved into the house where my parents still live. I asked him what was wrong. He said there was a red-haired man with a beard, wearing black and riding a bicycle....like an old-fashioned 1900s bicycle. He said the man was like the devil. I looked out his window and saw the man, too, but we had no idea at the time that no one else could see him. My brother also told me the devil talked to him many times, and wanted him to join him. He said not to tell anyone. I believed him, and I still believe that my brother is a much stronger empath than I am.
Most of what happens to me is I tend to "fry" electronics, or at least make them screwy. I have always done this. And recently, I realized I can "see" energy fields....electric and spiritual.
Growing up, we had a few incidents, but I don't remember anything too serious. My parents kept a close eye on us, I think they were afraid of us getting them in trouble, as we tended to live in small, conservative towns that were very narrow-minded. I still to this day don't know exactly how much they know about us.
Anyway, I had forgotten about alot of this until I befriended the man who is now my husband. It was my 13th birthday. A former friend of ours threw me a party. It was so crowded....she knew I hated crowds, but she wanted a big dance party with boys, so that is what I got. I ran behind a big tree in the back yard to hide, and I just about ran over my dh, who was 15 at the time. We had hung out a little, but never talked. We ended up having a long, wonderful conversation that night...we were gone so long they came looking for us. He was just so nice, the sweetest person I had ever met, and he just glowed with this white light....I don't actually see colored auras, but depending on the energy of the individual, I can see lights and "halos" in a strong, gifted person. Well, we became best friends, and fell in love a couple years later. Except for these terrible recurring nightmares, I had totally cut my gifts out of my life. But, the strength of his spiritual energy would inadvertantly bring things to the surface.
During high school, I began thinking I was a witch. I began hanging out with my now BIL's ex-girlfriend who was a very bad Wiccan (did not practice what she preached). She would spew curses and perform all kinds of spells for personal gain. She basically thought she owned the world, because of her "special, exclusive powers." She convinced me I was a witch, too, and tried to get me to help her. She made think that God could never love me, but her deities could. This is when I developed a nasty, hidden temper...an inner rage I still seek to calm sometimes. This is also when I developed an active will and I have to watch myself....I have a strong temptation to seek "justice" on wrongdoers by affecting their energy fields or using my gifts offensively. This is not for me to judge: God will deal with them.
In 2007, I lost my grandmother. She had gifts, too, but she had used them to her own selfish ends. She had my father to tell me many things about my gifts and our tribe, from the Metis people, after her funeral. Much of what he said to me was the honest truth, but she wanted to warp it. She was desparate for some kind of immortality here on earth, and for some reason, I guess she thought she would find it in me, that I would continue whatever "work" she had been doing. The experiences I had struggling with her energy right after the funeral and wake, really opened me up. I was away from my dh during this time, and apparently he had felt something was wrong and worried about me, and missed me a great deal. Anyway, long story short, something in one or both of our energies overcame my birth control pill, and I ended up pregnant with Wesley. He has a very strong spiritual energy, and I was sick with him every day. I felt like I was swimming in a sea of light and energy, it made me nauseous. And, he was so powerful, he would kick and kick, he bruised and split my ab muscles in several places. He also reawakened all my gifts. I had vivid visions and almost prophetic dreams during the pregnancy. After a smooth, perfect, textbook delivery, I started having horrible, horrible nightmares again. This lasted until I met a friend on here that started talking to me about my gifts, how I needed to acknowledge them to rid myself of the nightmares, and how my gifts were not evil, and I was not evil or a witch or anything, no matter what any of my ancestors did or what anyone else said.
As I have begun opening up and accepting myself, I've realized I am continually drawn to healing. I'm hoping to unlock my potential to heal others, as it is the most rewarding work I have ever done. I would also like to help my dh see his energy and potential so he can find the same freedom in acceptance.
And I beyond believe you all about the pre-natal experiences....I felt Wesley's soul in my body 2 weeks before I knew I was pregnant. And he and I communicated empathically all through the pregnancy....I visualized him coming on his due date, after my semester of school was finished...He came out exactly 48 hours after I walked out of my last final.
Lord, grant me patience, because you grant me strength, I'll end up killing people.
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