Posts: 6,203
3/14/11 3:16 P

I asked if you work out together because I see alot of couple working out at the YMCA together. I think it could be an added support element.. even if we wouldn't work out all the time together. The guy I like.. he pushes me to be the best me but never yelling or mean. He says he yell.. psh!

That's great you meet on eHarmony.com. I totally understand about meeting the wrong type of guys. I guess sometimes I feel like my standards are too high that no one can be THAT guy, lol.

As for the eating... it sounds like he respects you when you say you cannot have something and doesn't push you. That's great!

That's true... everyone's experience is a bit different. I guess I want my guy to respect that part of my life and try to not undermine it. Also, to understand it is important to me and even support me at times when I need it. It gets tiring to hear comments like "Oh, you can have that." After a while, I felt like I had to fight for me... for to not feel guilty about eating right and to work out.

As for my ex, well... I really wonder if he truly did care about me. This new guy I like.. well, I feel he truly cares about me. He told a mutual friend of ours that he is worried about me. I found it sweet and I am not sure how I feel about it..

I should ask him out... but I am tired of doing the asking in my relationships. Even so much more, I value his friendship. I am already sad about him leaving... *pouts* Hopefully, we will be able to stay in touch.

Thanks for answering the questions... I guess with the most recent relationship, I have learned just how important my lifestyle is and how much I truly want it for my children. I want them what I did not have for myself. Good self esteem. Confidence. Healthy ways to deal with stress and emotions. Portion control. Active hobbies. These are all things I have had to learn in the last two years.

current weight: 169.0

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Posts: 455
3/14/11 10:27 A

OK, I feel like I have a lot to say! I'll start by directly answering the questions you asked:

Do you guys work out together? Yes! Not always, but we do. And if I'm working out, he's always interested in joining me. He loves fitness and exercise, so he frequently is the one to push me on days I don't feel like exercising.

How did you meet? We met on eHarmony.com. We were both at points in our life when we were not meeting the type of people we wanted on our own. We were matched, communicated online and on the phone for a month before our first date. Things moved quickly, and by our 2nd date, we were seeing each other exclusively. A year later, after being very patient, he proposed, and we were married 13 months after that.

Did it ever feel that you had to fight for that healthy part of you? All the time. While he loves exercise and working out, he is fit enough that he doesn't have to do it regularly to stay in great shape. He can also eat what he wants. For his activity level, it's recommended that he eat double the calories that are recommended for me in a day. So, there will be times that I have to remind him that I can't eat what he's eating. It's not a fight, per se, but I have to stay on my toes.

Is what you want possible? Absolutely! And I don't necessarily think it has to be someone who's walked in your shoes. I think if you find a person who cares about you in the way you care about him, your process will be important to him. It will show him some of your best personality traits, like determination. With that being said, I'm not sure anyone will ever get it 100%, even if they've struggled with weight themselves. That will give them a better understanding, but their experience will never be the same as yours.

As for the past guy, well, it's "nice" that he cares, but if he really cared, he would've shown you while you were together. I'd have half a mind to tell him that your business is no longer his business, so he can keep his nose to himself.

Ahh, the new guy. My humble opinion? Ask him out. Don't worry so much about what his academic/career plans are. My husband and I met 3 months before I moved out of state for a job. If we had worried about that, we wouldn't have been together. But we decided to move forward and see how it goes. We were long distance (6+ hour drive) for about 11 months. We got engaged while I was away. And that wasn't my first long distance relationship. I was with a guy for almost 9 years, and we were long distance (cross country) almost the whole time. Ultimately, it did not work out for us (obviously), but long distance can work if both people want it to and are willing and able to put effort into the relationship.

Posts: 6,203
3/13/11 9:26 P

For those that are in a serious relationship, like engaged or married, I have some questions for you... Basically, it how you deal with the lifestyle change with finding a significant other..

Do you guys work out together? How did you meet? Did it ever feel that you had to fight for that healthy part of you?

Recently, a two month relationship ended (like a month ago), and reflecting back I realized he never understood what my weight loss, running and eating right meant to me. In fact, I had to defend it alot of the time and felt like I was "fighting" for ME all the time. He liked how I looked but he didn't really like how I got there. In fact, to this day, he asks if I am eating. One of these days, I am going to play with him and be like, "Nope, I am too heartbroken." Give me a break!

Anyhow, I am starting to wonder if someone ever will... unless they have been there, too. I feel like I am asking alot... they have to be everything AND understand my journey. Even some of my friends and family don't get it. But, the guy I marry, I want him to get it, to get me, I guess, and want that kind of lifestyle! Is it possible do you think?

Right now, I have a guy in my life, he's amazing and everything I want (or think I want). In fact, he is on here.. and kinda why I am not blogging about this like I usually do. But, he does his internship in the Fall than graduates. So, I don't think he will ever ask me out.. even through I am pretty sure he likes me. *sigh*

current weight: 169.0

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