I so feel you on struggling to find the balance between work, home, healthy eating and fitness. I have those same issues especially since I throw in Girl Scout Troop leader and PTO meetings and helping out there. We so want the best for our children and his reaction is completely normal. If I can find the article, I will post it. It spoke of dealing with people fighting our quest to make healthy changes in our life.
Now is the time to sit down with a pad of paper and look at areas you have under your control. I also have a hard time fitting in a morning work out, but I've been looking at some quick 5 minute workouts just so I can get something in the morning. 5 minutes is much more doable for me than 30 minutes and I could do it every day which would start my path to consistency. Not saying this is your solution. It's just an example. I work an early morning shift so that I have more time with my daughter. Sounds like you may have a long commute to factor in possible or do you work a lot of hours? What I would do is look at things you can do to make more time for your son or the most of your time with your son.
For instance, ask if he would like to start working out with you or going to the gym with you. You could show him the equipment, etc. Like I'm taking a Yoga class in January that's a family one so my daughter and I can do it together. My daughter is so excited because it's something we can do together and lucky at age 7, it will reinforce how fun a healthier lifestyle can be. At 15, your son will be a tougher sell, but if you pitch it right: more time together, you can show him how to use the equipment, etc, he may be willing to try it. I would also sit down with him if you haven't already and tell him why you want to live a healthier lifestyle. Like my daughter knows the changes in our household she's seeing is because I want to live longer. She's a pickier eater as well, but I'm getting her to try foods because she has had enough talks of the importance of living healthy and that she doesn't want to end up like Mommy where her whole life is evolving around counting calories, tracking food, and trying to get to a healthier weight. If she sets her up right, it will happen naturally and she won't have all this extra work. She's been getting much better about trying something before she says she doesn't like it and I don't care if she picks off my plate. If it gets her to eat healthier, all the better.
As for the meals, I agree...being a short order cook is detracting time your son and you can be spending. For meals what I would do is find ways to meeting both your needs in the same meal. Whatever meat you cook, cut off the extra fat on your piece and have a smaller portion. Also give yourself a smaller potion of pasta and load up your plate with vegetables. Then have fruit for dessert and maybe sometimes make a healthier fruit dessert that your son may want to try. Like my daughter likes it when I take apples, cut them up, drizzle caramel, a little butter and brown sugar and cook it up in the microwave. Unlike your son, she's not a big bread eater, but I like it so I sprinkle oats on mine or some other thing to make it more like a dessert but I will eat it just like her too.
Another thing my Mom taught me is to hide food in things. Like my dad is a picky eater like that and she would cook broccoli down so you couldn't see it and put it in a beef stew. One day my dad commented that the stew was better than how it usually was and wanted to know why. My Mom told him it was because she put broccoli in it. He eats broccoli now. Sometimes that's all it takes is for someone to taste something the right way to grow a love for it. Just like I'm sure all of us slowly made changes over the years. I used to drink soda all the time and now it's very rare. It's like a treat for me now, but I prefer to have drinks that hydrate me now so I have more energy.
I hope I helped.
Don't be afraid to spread your wings and fly.
September Minutes: 117
Fitness Minutes: (7,081) Posts: 43 12/6/13 10:00 A
Hello ladies!!! So I've been a REALLY bad Spark member for a the past few months and with good reason. I have very limited access to a pc but I wanted to check in while I was in the neighborhood ;-) I will try to do better by checking in more often. So here is what's new: I'm struggling to balance between work, home, healthy eating, and fitness. My 15 yr old feels neglected and deprived with my new lifestyle change. I wake him up before I leave then by the time I get home I throw something together for him to eat and I rush off to the gym. When I'm done at the gym I clean up and head for bed. I KNOW if I did early morning workouts I could save even more valuable time to spend with him but I tried it many times and I can't seem to make it work. I have been using the gym at my apartment complex for the last 9 months and I along with a few other residents have private access keys for after business hours. I will be thankful when the new fitness center opens around the corner from where I live. I will have more equipment to challenge myself more and workouts can be done before I get home since there are changing rooms and showers!!! Heck I could even hit the gym before work then shower right there and head straight to the office which would free up at least 2 hours of my time. But my biggest struggle now these next 9 months are meal planning and meal prep. I have done well keeping myself "on track" with the dysfunctional schedule to eat semi-balanced meals. My son however doesn't really care for the food I'm eating (more fruits, veggies, and lean meats) he wants the bread, pasta, and fatty meats and refuses to try new things. I'm pulling my hair out trying to make meals he will eat and that are healthier but I find that I'm making 2 different meals as if I'm a short order cook. Any tips, tricks, or suggestions are welcome but my son is a SUPER PICKY eater.
"Just remember-- when you think all is lost, the future remains." ~Bob Goddard
I agree. Everything has good and bad aspects to it. It's all about what we choose to focus on so I choose to focus on the positives: my daughter is raised with my values and we are so close because I'm it. I love her so much and that love grows more and more with each passing year. I'm hoping your getting your daughter treatment for her anxiety and depression. I had mood disorders for many years and then I finally used my work's EAP to find a therapist who specialized in CBT who could also dispense my meds. It took a little bit to find the right meds and once they got right the CBT took hold and I'm free of that monster...finally. I still have problems with heights and I still really can't deal when I find a wasp in my house, but it's not full blown phobia anymore. Just a little scared, then he gets killed and life goes on.
Luckily this was all taken care of before I had my daughter so she has stability in her life, but I do watch for the signs and I have a counselor and now a psychologist at school that I can always talk to if I need to have my daughter assessed if need be. Last year was a hard year for her and thanks to the exercises the counselor gave her and all the support I got, she's fine this year. Good luck!
Don't be afraid to spread your wings and fly.
September Minutes: 117
Fitness Minutes: (65) Posts: 519 10/18/13 1:05 A
Hi, I have just joined this group. My children are a little older. Well my son is grown up, although I brought him up on my own for most of his life. My daughter is 16, almost 17. She suffers from severe anxiety and depression. Which has taken it's toll on her physical health. She unfortunately has learnt to use food as the medicine to cure all her difficult emotions and fears. She is a great kid, but can be a little demanding. On the plus side, because my daughter stays at home, including for her school work she doesn't get up to some of the things that other teenagers are getting into-drugs,alcohol and smoking. It sure can be hard bringing up children with no other parent or support. Parenting sole handedly has it's good and bad aspects.
Little goals in the end make for bigger rewards than big goals that are unachievable(Shell)
Be your best friend-not your worst enemy.Treat yourself with respect and do unto yourself as you would do to others!! (Shell)
Love yourself and guide yourself and the destination will be within your reach!! (Shell)
I so agree with you about the challenges 24/7 parents face. I'm blessed that I have my parents nearby, but my Mom still works and my dad has things he's trying to take care of. He does help me out with taking my daughter to Aspire in the morning and he's my backup baby sitter when I don't have a game plan in place for Caley, but I can feel you on all the things you said. Caley is with me at the store and I know what it's like to have her asking me to play with her when I want to dedicate time to tracking my food, reading posts or doing my boards so while I go to bed early every night, it's so I can wake up at 3 in the morning to carve a little time to at least reading posts on boards, etc. I feel like I'm up and running 24/7 until I finally run out of steam. LOL
I would like this to be a place where people can vent about their frustrations/challenges of being a single parent 24/7 and a place where we can share ideas of how we lose weight and eat healthier which is ultimately better for our children and still be the parents they need. How do we master that balancing act.
I do include my daughter in my work outs. This Fall I saw that Caley's school has this amazing track behind it so on Monday's and Wednesday's, I let her ride the scooter around the track while I walk. This Friday I got roller skates and we roller skated in the school parking lot. I would like to get the bike riding thing going on Tuesday's and Thursday's but we always have somewhere to be that day but I'm not giving up! I love school time of the year because the after school program gives me time to hit the gym on the days I work from home. It's that little "me" time that puts me in better spirits and be the Mom my daughter needs.
I also have my daughter help me in the kitchen and she's been doing that since she's 3. She loves pouring stuff into the bowl now and mixing it up and seeing how her hard work turns into food. I think that's so great you do that with your son because you are raising a better man and women will thank you for it! Welcome to this team. I've been busy with the SparkPeople Challenges but will think of some threads to start.
Don't be afraid to spread your wings and fly.
September Minutes: 117
Fitness Minutes: (93) Posts: 2 9/27/13 9:38 A
I just joined SparkPeople this week and stumbled across this group. I think it is a great group. Single parents with kids who don't have the other parent in their life have different challenges than single parents juggling responsability. We don't have the time where the kid(s) are with the other parent. Many times, like in my case, I spent many years without a support system at all. Living hundreds of miles from my closest relative. You forget what it's like to go to the store without dragging a kid along, what it's like to have a evening / night where you can completely relax because even though they are in bed it doesn't mean they won't wake up with a nightmare or sick. As much as we love our kids, everyone needs a break on occasion and this provides a very different challenge then juggling custody arrangements and visitiation.
I think the main goal for this group would be to provide support for eachother. A place to talk and share experiences, because sometimes it feels like you are all alone and no one else understands.
As far as goals: Including your kid(s) in at least one workout per week. It's a great way to spend time together, bond, and teach your children heathy habbits at the same time. The goal should include some ideas - like bike riding together, or going to a park with a playset and jogging trail - I do this one my son runs with me for a little while then goes and plays on the playground when he gets tired.
Another goal idea: including you kid(s) in cooking one healthy meal together each week. Very young kids 3/4 can toss a salad, and older kids 5/6/7 can pull lettuce appart and make the salaid with pre-cut ingrediants and a bowl. Just put it all in front of them and let them construct it. Most will also be more likely to want to eat it if they made it. My son is 8 and has been cutting his own food for years, so it might be time to let him cut easy thinks like the cucumber for the salad. 8-10 year olds can also start stirring a pot or mixing. As long as they are there and engaged they are learning to eat healthy, be independent, and spending quality time. together.
I have been actively working this board and trying to find ways to make this an active team. I know in some aspects it is active as there are people who are point and fitness leaders, but as far as activity on this team with posts and huddles, I haven't seen as much activity. Wondering what members would like to get out of this team. Would you like more topics of support? Fun topics? Inspiring topics? What kind of goals would you like added? Any and all ideas are welcome.
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