Hi there... Its been quite sometime since I have posted and I do not believe I ever posted in this room but, Im telling u, after the night Im having, I think I was meant to stumble onto this. I have been diag with PCOS since 8/06 I went for some testing, then I was given i script for Clomid and then boom, i lost my insurance. Anyhow, my periods have been somewhat regular since the last time I was put back on B C to get rid of the cysts on the ovaries. Well, so far, I did take 5 days of the clomid already even though I knew darn well I couldnt follow up with the drs. I will have insurance on June 1st , well, for the most part, I have tried not to think about the pregnancy thing and then it happened, I got a call tonite from my sis in law, she has 5 kids, well 3 with my brother and my brother had 2 from his marriage, well, I was told that not one but two of my sisters are both pregnant again. I was happy for them but secretly, Im crushed.. Its getting too much for me. I went to try to talk to my boyfriend about my feelings and although hes usually understanding, he was so not interested. I didnt want to show him how crushed I was. I ran out to the kitchen , made marshmellow treats, ate them all and now Im not only sick but mad at myself.
I have been in therapy on and off over 1/2 my life and I love my therapist, shes really nice, I have not been able to see her since late Jan due to the cancellation of my insurance and let me tell u, I could really use it. Im not on the meds anymore, I feel like I have to learn to deal with my feelings on my own, I hated the way I felt when I came off the paxil since I was attempting a pregnancy and did not want to risk anything.
I think therapy can be a wonderful expirence but, you really have to be willing to open up.
I sure could use it now, I feel like a failure and cursed.
Sorry if I bummed u all out.
One day, not only will my PRINCE grow up, ... he will learn to change the empty toliet paper roll...... Hey, I can dream cant I? God Bless
| Pounds lost: 28.0