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POSITIVE29 Posts: 14
12/21/14 7:14 P

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Yes it does especially when I'm feeling low about it and want to hide out. Like the past 2 months FML

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4/15/12 12:57 P

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I did the laser before my wedding, & felt tons better about myself, but not so great about my bank account! For those that are struggling with razors & plucking, one thing I wish I'd been told earlier, the ladies electric shavers can hurt less, scar less, take less time, can be done daily, etc. I was given that tip by the laser tech.; she DIDN'T have PCOS, but she still had hair that embarrassed her, & so, PCOS or not, women all over the planet struggle with the concepts & definitions of beauty, & everyone is looking for a quick fix or a less painful & embarrassing method.

I had pale white hair on my upper lip, but plenty of it, & was always too scared to do anything about it. Creams inflamed my skin very painfully, a broken or infected hair drew MORE attention to the area, so, snip, snip with the scissors to keep it scaled down. Still, the first time a boyfriend pointed it out, he did it on purpose to make me upset, to tell me how "lucky" I was to have him. Now I'm mortified when I think back about why I chose such an @ss like him; come to think of it, there were plenty of guys who'd been up close & had flirted/asked me out, so, he WASN'T doing some huge sacrifice for me by putting up with it, but by pointing out MY flaws, he made his own look smaller in comparison, when in reality, my issues were cosmetic; his went bone deep.

Anyways, as time goes on, you try different methods, you learn what works & what doesn't, and unfortunately, you deal with it the best way you can, because it'll never fully go away. So, try things. Rip out that DIY tip from a magazine, take a pill, buy a laser, or invest in wax. See a dermatologist, ask your OB, see an Endocrinologist. The more satisfied YOU are with what you learn & try, the more comfortable you'll be with yourself, the good & the bad.

My husband doesn't watch me do hair removal, whether it's my armpits or my brow or anywhere else. I might be married, but I have the right to do whatever "girly" stuff I want in private, and that doesn't make it a shameful thing. After all, how many ladies take their men with them when they go to a spa, whether it's to get their pores shrunk, or their lady patch groomed? Not many, if any. Doesn't make them any less married, or the relationship any less real. Obviously, after many, many years together, he's had to of noticed something, and sometimes, when I'm feeling very frustrated I'll say something that points it out without being exact about the issue...not to mention, he's not dumb, & his eye sight is very good. But he's never mentioned it, he's never used it to hurt me, &, while he's gotten exasperated & told me it's not a big deal one day when I freaked over not having packed the shaver for a weekend trip, he also knew it was important to ME, so he asked if I wanted to stop & buy a 2nd one...all without discussing exactly what I wanted it or needed it for. I didn't want to sit down & have a heart to heart over hair issues at any point in our relationship; I told him about the PCOS, that it was a hormonal issue, (& then I jumped to the BIG DEAL for me, the infertility side of things). I shouldn't have to explain it all, but, he wouldn't pick it up through ESP either, so I did print out an article about PCOS that I felt covered the situation, the causes & the effects rather well, and I gave it to him to read it. I've also mentioned later in our relationship that I hope our daughter never has to deal with this, b/c if so, "this" (a list of methods for her to deal) is the game plan, and if any guy hurts her over it, there's going to be bodies in the back yard.

As for dating...if you've gotten far enough along in the dating process to feel close enough to the guy to bring it up, then hopefully that means he's mature & empathetic enough to listen & understand without acting like a junior high boy that's been informed that Cooties really DO exist...and seriously, if a dude bails on you at any time during the relationship b/c of some hair issues...fine. If hair is enough to send him packing, then he won't be anyone you can count on when life REALLY throws you a curveball. If he runs b/c of hair, what'll happen if you don't have a "perfect" baby? What'd happen if you had to have a breast removed, or you lose your hair due to Cancer? Crap happens in life, & hair issues, while uncomfortable, do not even hit the high numbers for the hardest relationship or life issues you may encounter.

Hair growth, removal, etc., it's all there on a varying scale for EVERYBODY, so if a guy is upset b/c you're not an airbrushed beauty, send him on his way to find one, and then move on & find a REAL man that looks at the heart of a situation, not the face of one. You'll be doing yourself a BIG favor if you do.

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4/14/12 9:16 P

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Listen ladies if you find the right man, it won't matter and he will accept it. I've known my husband since we were both 15. We started dating Oct 2010 and got married last Dec. I was upfront with him and told him I grow facial hair. He has never been critical to me about it. In fact, he even has seen me apply Nair and use tweezers to pluck the hair that grows on my chin. He is never judgmental and I feel totally comfortable with my condition of growing facial hair. While I can't afford electrolysis right now, I would like to one day get it so I don't have to worry about it anymore. But once again, if a guy genuinely loves/likes you and is understanding and open-minded, then the facial hair won't matter I promise, promise, PROMISE you! Stay positive women! Your beautiful!!!

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WILDLOTUS16's Photo WILDLOTUS16 Posts: 3,188
3/12/12 6:45 P

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This is a good topic!! I also have very thick and dark facial hair. I was out with an EXXXX friend and she says to me, "Oh kathy, you have a beard. You need to shave." She has the same problem with the PCOS and the facial hair. But I was furious at her for pointing it out! she called it beardage... I really wanted to knock her head off! But I didnt. Thankfully that friendship is OVER! Not because of that either, lol. As for dating.... I really am not on the scene for now. But I think it would be a little hard..Good luck everyone with the Spiro. I took it once too. I need to go back to my endro

Kathy

There is nothing more complete than a broken heart. For in the depths of the pain you will encounter the risen Jesus Christ.' Mark Brown


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MRSYATES84's Photo MRSYATES84 SparkPoints: (14,064)
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3/12/12 12:39 P

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It is a major source of anxiety for me as well. I often feel like people can see the chin hair and mustache hair when I am talking to them. It knocks my self esteem down a lot.

The truth is I never noticed it till I started getting closer to my thirties and got really heavy. I once read this posting on a PCOS support site from this women who said our men should never see us pluck stray hairs or wax and we should also look our best for them. So it made it really hard for me to show my husband this side of me, the side that plucked, waxed and shaved. Till one day I told him about that posting, you know what he did? He laughed. He didn't care about the hair on my face, though he noticed it every once in awhile, he said he didn't see it like I did. He doesn't mind that I watch TV and wax my face in front of him, he doesn't think I am less sexy.

I worry more about what other people notice, if they see the hair when they are talking to me, if they get disgusted by the fact that I am a female that has hair that grows on my face. So I wax my face almost on a weekly basis and I try to push the thoughts out of my head. I can't change it, I have a health condition.

I think that if you are self conscious, get waxed, shave, do what you need to do to feel comfortable. But when you find a guy who likes you for you, he will most likely accept those little things about you that aren't perfect.

I wish you the best of luck in dating!!!!!

Check out my blog at findingaskinnierme.blogspot.com/ I write a lot about my experience with PCOS and the obstacles of losing weight!


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3/12/12 10:09 A

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I use to believe that hair grew back thicker and darker as well when we shaved. Until I went a while without shaving a few times. Once it got longer than just a little stuble it seemed to go back to the blond color it's always been and it wasn't any thicker.

So I began to research it, especially since I had hair in some places I don't want it. I pluck the random long dark hairs I get and then the peach fuzz that seems to have turned into a light mustache I shave.

Here's one site that may help explain why people believe your hair grows back thicker and darker when you shave. By the way...that's not true.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/20
07/12/13/does-shaving-make-hair-grow-b
ack-thicker.html



No More Excuses!


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3/12/12 6:24 A

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First I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has written about this topic. I tend to break out in hysterical tears whenever I think about how hideous I feel, especially because of the hair on my face. I have hair on my cheeks, starting at the bottom of my eyes and it gets worse the further down my face you look. The hair on my face is dark and very noticeable around my lips, sides of my face, and chin. I don't bother shaving because I know it will only grow back thicker and faster. I honestly don't know what to do, I don't wear make up notonly do I not like it, I am a feminist, but I have acne too and it tends to get worst with things like make up. I'm married and my husband never says anything about it, I don't know how but he finds me attractive and sexy no matter what, I just want TO FEEL ATTRACTIVE AND SEXY.
I'm hispanic and unfortunately they're not too kind about things like facial hair on a woman. I've had co-workers laugh and point at it, family members say its disgusting and I should wax it, but they are wrong to make me feel so down and while I know that I have a hard time not replaying all their negative comments every day of my life, it even makes me wake up crying sometimes.
But I'm working on it, thanks for the support and ability to get this all out

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3/5/12 3:23 P

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I experience no side effects from the spiro... I'm sorry I can't remember off the top of my head what the potential side effects are.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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LORALIE1982's Photo LORALIE1982 Posts: 2
3/4/12 3:14 P

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I am so glad I found this place!! I have battled PCOS for about 9 years (after i was diagnosed) and the hirsutism just seems to get worse!! I am recently back into the dating scene, and i am totally freaked out at the thought of someone seeing me naked and being grossed out by all the body hair. What kind of side effects does spiro have? I am willing to try anything at this point, because I feel like the hair is taking over my life! I am battling all the other health issues and at this point, if I could just control the unwanted hair without shaving every day I would be totally happy with that.

The talent of success is doing nothing more than what you can do, well. -Henry W. Longfellow


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2/7/12 12:53 P

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i believe my dose of spiro is 100mg a day, and i've been taking that for a few months now. i have less hair on my chest and the hair on my face grows much slower. i can't say the hair on my head is significantly thicker, but it seems slightly better as well. definitely not a miracle drug in my case, but i think it has helped and i'm glad to have something to prevent this from getting worse.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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LIBELULITA's Photo LIBELULITA Posts: 2,108
2/7/12 1:39 A

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I was perscribed Spirolactone 2 weeks ago too, but I was wondering what doses others have taken/are taking because I've only been percribed 25mg a day for 6 months and I've read that more usual is 200mg a day?

If you want be a butterfly then you you have to want to fly so badly that you are prepared to give up being a caterpillar.


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NERDFAERIE's Photo NERDFAERIE Posts: 22
2/6/12 9:20 P

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I know exactly how you feel. It's a constant source of embarrassment for me. I always think "what if I end up having to be in the hospital overnight - will I be able to shave before someone sees me?" I am to the point of being paranoid about it. I don't let my husband touch my face and he's asked why... how can I say "because I don't want you feeling my stubble." It's a horrible thing to live with. For me, it started when I was around 15 years old and has only gotten worse. Back then, I only had to shave every few days and it was light. Now, I can feel stubble by the time I go to bed. I have to shave every morning with an electric razor. I also have rather hairy forearms and have hair on my back and a little on my chest. The back hair is fine, but irritating because it makes me constantly itchy. I always wonder if my husband notices if when he puts lotion on my back (in the dark, but you can sometimes feel that kind of hair). It's not prickly like my facial hair, but still.

My doctor prescribed spironolactone for me today, but told me it can take 3 months to work. So I'll be waiting with baited breath in the hopes that I don't have any of the side effects associated with it. I guess it can result in potassium overload and low blood pressure and in either case, I'll have to stop taking it. At that point, there will be no other option - she told me Vaniqa wasn't the miracle cream they thought it would be and it does leave a residue on the face that is visible, so it's really not ideal.

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2/3/12 5:13 P

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I have felt the same way in the past. I even went so far as to get laser hair removal on my face. I'm saving up for my nips lol. Vaniqua can work but I recommend getting waxed first and then using Vaniqua. Honestly though Vaniqua is so expensive that saving up for laser might be best. If you live in the Cleveland, Oh area I can give you the number to my laser tech. She is reasonable in pricing and lets you pay per session. Upper lip is usually around 25-45 in most given areas and Vaniqua can be 60-80.

I'm here to lose fat not weight, weight loss is just a side effect :)


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12/29/11 8:20 P

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I recently invested in a laser hair removal machine, but I've barely used it.....i think i'm afraid it won't work. Anyway I was prescribed Vaniqua by my doctor, and used it twice daily for 6mths and it did nothing, I had to stop using it because the smell of it was making me queasy and i also found that it left a kinda powdery residue on my face which is ok at night but not for during the day.


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11/22/11 12:08 P

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REMILJ126 -- thank you so much for sharing!! i'm really trying to be happy with myself and my life so that i can date with confidence, but its easier said than done! it is frustrating in general trying to find a good guy and then playing the numbers game of meeting enough people that you eventually find someone you click with. add pcos to the mix and sometimes it just seems like what i want is so far out of reach. i'm trying to hang in there, though.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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REMILJ126's Photo REMILJ126 Posts: 3
11/21/11 7:07 P

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I have enough dark hair on my chin and neck to grow a full beard. Instead, I choose to shave every day. In addition, I also have some pretty severe acne that is aggravated by said hair so waxing, plucking, etc. are not options for me. I have been with my husband for 4 years now and he has never made me feel bad about it. When we first started dating I would not let him see me without full makeup but even still there's only so much that can hide. But honestly, I don't think men notice or care as much as they think. I've got news for you, their bodies aren't always in perfect working order either. We all have physical flaws and the more comfortable we are with our own the more comfortable others will be with them.

The most comments I get are either from other women who have the same problem or children who are just curious. When children have asked me about my facial hair or acne they merely want to know what it is and why it's there. I have found that being open about it, helps them to understand it and be more sympathetic.

On the other hand, I will say that I totally understand the self-consciousness of it though. I still don't let my husband see me shave, though he tells me all the time that he doesn't think it makes me any less sexy or any less of a woman. I hope all of you who are looking for a relationship, find someone as kind, loving, and understanding as he is because you all definitely deserve it! :-)

NOMOSHKAR Posts: 9
11/15/11 1:48 P

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Oh it's so good to know we are not in this alone. I too, have VERY thick whiskers on my face, chest, arms, legs, back, etc. I did try laser treatment a few years ago, and was told after the set amount of treatments, that I would not need it again. Well, it did NOT work, or last at all, and was a waste of money. I've wondered about the Vaniqua - -hear it works for some and not others.
When getting laser treatments, they said to never pluck, just shave; that when you pluck, it makes the hair curl in, and simply cannot grow out straight - -resulting in in-grown hairs. Well, I, now am noticing my whole chin looks like acne -and is actually in-grown hairs from tweezing all the time. Anyone else experienced this? and what to do for it? When I shave, the stubble is just impossible, so have been tweezing -at least my chin area. Any cheap remedies or kitchen or OTC product advice?

Nomoshkar~


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SUZMAXIMUS3 Posts: 26
11/6/11 10:57 A

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Good luck with your treatments and new relationships!!
I've tried Spiro but had to stop when I got pregnant. It worked well in so far as the hairs on my chin were lighter and sparser.
In regards to the dating, I agree with what most of you gals have said: anyone who is worth his salt will see you for your own fabulousness and see past any cosmetic issues. I have had to shave my legs since 5th grade, have side burns, arm hair, and the worst on my chin. I've done laser but mostly just wax and pluck now because of monetary issues.
It is embarrassing when I am taking to someone and they keep staring at my chin, but those end up being people I don't really want to talk to unless absolutely needed (work associates).
By the time I met my hubby I was so involved in my own autonomy that I had a real take me or leave me confidence. This, my hubby has said, is what attracted him to me in the first place. But when the intimacy began to progress I felt my confidence waiver a bit. When I mentioned how self conscious I was about him seeing me in my full glory, he said he didn't really notice it and that it didn't concern him. My hubby is a real warm hearted teddy bear and I thank God for sending him into my life. He accepts me and isn't concerned about "lipstick". Lets face it, when we're all old and wrinkly it will be the time and fellowship shared together that we will cherish, not how baby smooth our legs may be.

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11/2/11 9:08 P

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I am sure it will make a difference. I used Vaniqa and Spironolactone (water pill) and it also reduces swelling in your feet, so you feel lighter on your feet. It worked for me pretty good. I hope it does for you..
Keep us updated :-)

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10/28/11 1:11 P

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went to the doc this week -- we are trying spironolactone and vaniqa to see if i get any results...

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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10/24/11 9:55 A

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KELSTHINWOMAN -- thanks so much for sharing... difenitely encouraging!

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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MLMORGAN06 Posts: 98
10/23/11 5:31 P

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I don't know how true it is, but I just read in a magazine last night that drinking spearmint tea twice a day will decrease unwanted hair growth. I am thinking about trying it,

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10/23/11 3:57 A

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I would like to echo all the other comments... Like you, I was mortified by my hirsutism and thought any man I dated would feel the same. But of the five or six serious relationships I was in and felt it necessary to say something none of them had a problem with it. And it's not like I've just got a little plucking to do either, I have to shave daily, and I get a "shadow" on my chin after a couple hours. I thInk men are more interested in how you portray yourself, meaning how confident you are. PCOS and hirsutism are not who you are, so don't let it define you. Be the bright beautiful person you are and that is who they will see, the same with everyone else around you. Don't worry about what you think others are thinking because very likely they aren't thinking anything close to what you are worried about.

As far as when I educated guys about PCOS and it's effects on me, it was usually when I felt I was ready for the relationship to get more committed. None of them felt like it was a big deal at all and a couple asked why I thought it was such a big deal (because at the time it was a HUGE deal to me).

Now that I'm married it's become no big deal at all (even though I still kick my husband out of the shower before I shave). He always tells me he doesn't care and thinks its stupid that I'm so worried about it. He's even gone so far as to say that when we are old and if I can't shave myself for whatever reason he'll do it for me. Ha ha! Now that's true love!

Any man would be lucky to have a beautiful woman like you hirsutism or not because your beauty is not just skin deep, believe it!

"Sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. But growth cannot come by taking the easy way. We clearly understand that an athlete who resists rigorous training will never become a world-class athlete. We must be careful that we donít resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature." -Paul V. Johnson


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RVIVIAN Posts: 11
10/17/11 1:35 P

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I think I started shaving my legs when I was in elementary school. As I was blessed (joke) with very dark body hair. If I shave my legs in the morning I have to shave them at night and it still looks like I didn't shave. I have a lot of hair of my arms and face which I started to bleach (very helpful).
Just in the past six months I got a great deal on laser hair removal. Even though I have to go about 5 or 6 more times I can put my hair back with out feeling uncomfortable. In between I actually have been shaving my face (with a woman's throw away razor and shave gel) .
I recommend laser hair removal. Many dermatologist offices and med spa clinics will work with you if you're on a budget.
On the dating front I never had a problem. No ones perfect. Good men don't care and those are the one's I rather spend my time with anyways :).

Oh and I have tried vaniqa. It didn't work for me and was expensive for a very small tube.

Edited by: RVIVIAN at: 10/17/2011 (13:37)
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10/17/11 12:13 P

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if anyone would like to share how soon they told the person they were dating about this, i'd be interested to hear.

i have kind of a unique situation where i was talking to a guy for a long time before i actually met him because he's in the army. so i actually haven't seen him much at all but am feeling like feelings between us are more advanced than that would typically imply. i'm starting to feel like i want him to know but am just not sure if its right yet.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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10/17/11 12:00 P

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MAJJALEX -- don't know if this would be an option for you, but birth control is working for me to regulate my periods.

Also, I'm curious about vaniqa. Did it work at all for you? I plan on asking my endo about it when I see her on Monday...

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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10/15/11 12:52 A

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I literally list the love of my life because I was terrified of him or anyone caressing my face and be hurt by the stubble. Then my face darkened from all the plucking and my pores and follicles became infected swollen and I had to get antibiotics on and off.
After I reachedmy 22nd birthday, I had a job and started doing water pills to reduce the hair. Two years later, Vaniqa and nw laser. I have hair like a man every possible inch of my body. I shave some on and off to get a break.

I am single for many reasons, but I def feel like my hirsutism is the biggest battle I have.
I have crazy wild periods and bleeding episodes, but I would live with that happily if I had less hair everywhere.

I am working on making peace with it for now and just be confident about, However, have not found a good man yet.

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10/12/11 12:53 P

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good to hear people saying that they've found partners that are accepting of this...

unfortunately, the hair on my face is so thick, dark and plentiful that even when i shave, you can see a little bit of a shadow on my chin if you look really close. so i guess i get nervous about people noticing before i'm ready to tell them.

i've never had any strangers comment. i have discussed it with a couple relatives who genuinely are trying to help but don't really understand the situation in full, so its not really helpful.

birth control has slowed the growth, and i go back to my endo soon. its likely that she will ad spiro to see if that helps at all. i also want to ask her about vaniqa.

i have gone out on first dates with two different guys recently. they went well, and i'm still talking to both of them. at least i'm out there giving it a chance. so, we'll see how it goes...

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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10/11/11 5:06 P

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I've noticed it on my face, my chest, and my arms. I'm thankful that I'm a natural blond. Honestly though my boyfriend doesn't care. In fact he's told me that I should stop waxing since it's obviously painful and irritates my skin. I never have strangers comment on it at all... unfortunately some of my relatives can't keep their mouths shut... you know those relatives who "kindly" remind you that you need to watch your figure? ... well those people also now remind me that I need to do something about my facial hair.

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DICHOTOMYGIRL's Photo DICHOTOMYGIRL Posts: 1,580
10/11/11 11:21 A

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The first time my husband mention my 'stache, I cried! I am lucky in that I am naturally fair, so I shave or wax the upper lip about once a month (and pluck if needed in between), and pluck out the few dark or prickly hairs that may come in on my chin.

But one day after my hubby and I had been dating around 4 months, out of the blue he turns to me and says "Oh, you have a bunch of hair on your upper lip, you probably want to take care of that". I am so started I start crying and responded something like "I can't believe you'd say that to me" And he looked completely startled and said "I thought that's what you do with the person you care about, like when they have food stuck in their teeth or their fly is undone".

I mean yeah, as women we tend to stress about all kinds of things. But honestly, would you honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who views unwanted facial hair due to PCOS as a deal breaker??



~Michelle~


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CHICKLET0317 Posts: 28
10/9/11 12:45 A

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Good luck to you all! I know that being a part of spark people will definitely help all of us reduce the symptoms of PCOS :)

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HABROWN's Photo HABROWN Posts: 1,175
10/8/11 9:41 P

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Wow you all give me courage. Yeah the hursutism isn't always simply a slight few hairs here or there. Unfortunately I have it on my upper arms, upper back, chest, upper lip, chin, cheeks, and side burns. That is a whole lot of body surface when I list it like that. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. I don't date for this reason as well some issues that I have from childhood trauma, but even with out the trauma...I still think I would have a hard time dealing with hursutism and dating.

At present I wear t-shirts that don't show off any of my chest, back and upper arms, but as for my face I shave in-between getting laser treatments (which hurt a bunch). It is a little pricey, but it is worth it when the hair takes longer to grow, becomes thinner, and easier to manage.

You all give me the hope that someday when I deal with my other issues and hold ups that this one flaw won't be as much of a road block as I thought it would be with the right person that is.

Edited by: HABROWN at: 10/8/2011 (21:43)
We try and try again because we matter!

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CHICKLET0317 Posts: 28
10/8/11 11:12 A

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I so agree with SOLPASSIONINC, I had a similar experience. I suppose I never knew how bad the hursutism can get, so I apologize for over simplifying the confidence part; but I still feel that we can be confident in our selves even with the syndrome.

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10/7/11 12:00 P

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thanks for the responses... its good to know its not hopeless even though it feels that way sometimes.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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10/7/11 10:33 A

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Well spoken of all the previous comments here. I just want to tell you to be encouraged and not to look at it as something you necessarily have to hide. Be honest with the one you end up dating. Of course, at first it's not something you have to speak on; however, IF things become more serious then over time yes, you would want to let him know of the condition as he will likely respect your honesty and will actually support you during times of need. As the other ladies have said, men are not like women: we tend to judge women based on how much they compare to what we have, don't have, wished we had, or want to have. Men can look beyond the moustache and jawline and not be as hypercritical as we are upon ourselves.

When I first met my future hubby 3yrs ago, I wore my makeup all the time. We met at work. I was in fear that he'd run away or call me a freak without the makeup but I knew I had to tell him sooner or later. So, one night when we met up for a date I simply arrived in plain face and said, "well here it is....me in the flesh like you've never seen before. Don't get scared by all the flaws." When he got close and finally saw all the scarring from long term shaving on my upper lip, entire jawline, and chin all he said was, "And? I don't care about that. You're still beautiful to me both inside and out. Besides, that doesn't change who you are."

From that day forward it's like he never even notices it. If you can believe it, I even began to go public without makeup. If the guy is really into you for all the right reasons he won't care about your physical flaws at all. Believe me, I'm 90lbs overweight and my boyfriend can't get enough of me.

I am only Me, I cannot be the world's reflection
flaws and all I love myself...I am the Perfect Imperfection

-Solpassioninc

"Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels"

-KATEDKELLEY
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LADYCITY's Photo LADYCITY Posts: 245
10/4/11 3:46 P

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You have to accept who you are and love who you are before you can love anybody else. I found that out with my husband.

When we were dating yes I was terrified of that but he did find out before we got married and asked me what was going on. It's when I told him and you would be surprised at how much men actually understand.

We really can't help that we have a hormonal problem to a certain degree and men do understand that hey when the hormones are out of wack, something is bound to happen but it doesn't make you any less of a woman.

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10/4/11 3:19 P

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i have students to think about, too. a couple of times i've had students comment on how hairy my arms are. i can't even imagine what would be thought or said if they knew about the facial hair...

anyway, i am working on realizing that anyone who wouldn't accept me the way i am is not worthy of my time, but its hard. i already feel like i'm looking for the needle in the haystack, and this only makes it worse...

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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LIBELULITA's Photo LIBELULITA Posts: 2,108
10/4/11 2:15 A

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Ooohhh....er,no. Definately love yourself etc, but if, as in my case, youhave it all over your jawline and chin, odd ones on your cheeks and a moustache that any man could be proud of (ok, so I exaggerate a little!!) then it couldn't be left there to be accepted as part of who I am. I have to pluck twice a day because whats more the majority are thick whiskers rather than fine hair and won't respong to waxing :(

I can just imagine my students recations if i turned up my full hairy glory and they wouldn't hesitate to express how grossed out they were. And their parents? And the new people that I have to give info to and try and entice in to the school? No, I don't think it would attract new students to the school. So, until I get my weight to a level where it will improve, I will plucking well pluck!!!

If you want be a butterfly then you you have to want to fly so badly that you are prepared to give up being a caterpillar.


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CHICKLET0317 Posts: 28
10/3/11 4:11 P

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I had never had it become much of a deal breaker, I think the aspect that affected my dating life the most was my own lack of self confidence and anxiety that everyone will notice. I also am a big romantic in the sense that the one who will grow to love a person will not even notice the "faulty" aspects because they are so absorbed in the fun and connection in the relationship.
Personally, after I found out I had PCOS, I felt more confident in myself because I accepted it as a part of me and something that will be with me whether other people think it is beautiful or not. My friends accept it, my boyfriend accepts it and doesn't even care if I don't shave.
Someone famous and important, Socrates, i believe, said you must love yourself before you love others. I think that applies to the hurutism here. Granted, if youre like me, you will never love the hair, but I think together, in this group, us PCOS girls can learn to accept ourselves, each other, and anybody who seems "different".

Hope this rambling helps! In the end run, don't let it bother you! Each one of us is so beautiful! We have nothing to hide, girls!

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10/3/11 3:50 P

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a major source of anxiety for me is hirsutism and dating... i'm terrified of a man figuring out that hair grows on my face. it already makes me feel less attractive and i don't want it to affect someone i'm dating in that same way. my case is bad enough that i have to shave and i do stay on top of it, but the fear is still there.

so, does anyone out there want to share their story of their significant other finding out about hirsutism -- whether you told them or they just noticed. good or bad, i'd like to hear about it, because i'm certainly having a hard time wrapping my head around this!

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

If you have to tell someone how bad you want it, then you haven't shown them how hard you already work for it.
-John Mayer

Whether you get what you want isn't what defines you. It's how you go about your business.
-Scott Jurek






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