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LYLAGARRITY's Photo LYLAGARRITY SparkPoints: (46,286)
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3/27/17 11:14 P

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Day 6?

I am still sick but better than I was over the weekend. I don't think I have been this sick (not counting like, a hangover or my gallbladder but even a hangover only lasts a day) in my entire adult life, which to be fair means I've been pretty lucky. Yeah I think I might have to suck it up and just go to the doctor but I feel like I'm too sick to go to the doctor, like, I'm too sick to even sit in a waiting room or answer questions. My sinuses are so messed up that my teeth ache, my whole face hurts ("It's killing me too!" - mom, if she were still around emoticon ). I forced myself to stay inside all weekend, watching netflix and eating soup and sleeping, but no dice. I feel so physically weak too, it's not something I'm used to. I skipped a race Saturday morning which really bums me out.

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3/27/17 6:55 P

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Day 11 binge free

Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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3/27/17 3:01 P

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Day 1
4 Day Streak 47
223 Days Binge Free

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3/27/17 9:44 A

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Hi all, I'm back and was binge free the whole time. But to keep it simple, will start with BF day #1.

Working on Day #1 BF!

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TAWNEY3's Photo TAWNEY3 Posts: 1,761
3/27/17 9:41 A

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I had another wonderful weekend at the Yoga retreat. I booked a single room and spent the free time alone and really enjoying the introspection and planning. I also socialized with some I had met last year and some new people. We had about 10 hours of yoga from great teachers. I finally was able to accomplish one of my long-term goals. I did a headstand. It felt amazing! It was just under 4 hours one way and thankfully I had dry roads both ways. Friday night it snowed 10cm and closer to home there was terrible freezing rain but by Sunday afternoon the roads were good.

I am going to now begin working on letting go of the scale. I am going to do this slowly and see what happens.



Tawney


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GOOCHIE99 Posts: 185
3/27/17 1:27 A

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Day 3

I have not posted for too long.

Since I have been reading lately that getting more sleep helps you lose weight, I am using the Fitbit to track my sleeping.

Been very busy lately.

OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/26/17 10:17 P

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P. S. An early welcome back to Jol1!


27 days living off the pantry for dense foods

Edited by: OOLALA53 at: 3/28/2017 (03:04)
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/26/17 6:17 P

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Dolly, I'm not sure understand why your food won't look normal. Do you mean because you can't have what you normally serve yourself? I have my druthers, too. I wish I could say I'm completely relaxed around all food. That is a major fantasy of mine. I think I'd rather be comfortable than thin, if I had to choose. I'm not sure what makes people really relaxed around food happen. It's possible I'm doing something that perpetuates the issue, some thought process. It probably has something to do with having many experiences where I feel perfectly content with my choices. However, it feels like a small issue. Maybe it's like feeling a little nervous before going to a party where I don't know a lot of people. Yeah, I guess in a perfect universe, I would be completely at ease all the time, fearing no disapproval. I'm not going to torture myself over not meeting that standard today, though. I can still enjoy my meals enough and I can still get out there at least sometimes and talk to people I don't know.

Kathryn, I'm glad you have some balancing pursuits. I keep saying I have to expand mine, but then I go right back to the web. LIke now. I just came back from the Indian cooking class and some store browsing, neither of which was completely relaxing, but what're ya gonna do? I'm glad I took the class.

Edited by: OOLALA53 at: 3/26/2017 (18:21)
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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3/26/17 3:07 P

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Day 10 doing great

Worked on my bead work yesterday. I made a pretty blue bracelet. I did some drawing and finished a book I had been reading. Doing things like this in stressful times is helping me.

Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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VGDOLLY's Photo VGDOLLY SparkPoints: (48,521)
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3/26/17 8:37 A

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Day 16

In Miami until Thursday. I am accepting that my food will not look normal. Did decent yesterday. Normal breakfast, a big lunch and some healthy snack later at our condo. I did walk over 11,000 steps. My dogs are still barking this morning.

Kathryn good for you, self care is hard.
Tawney - hope you had a great time
Lyla - feel better and you could go to an urgant care if you don't feel any better.

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/26/17 3:07 A

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Tawney, you probably won't see this until you return, but bon voyage.

Lyla, that water looks beautiful.

Kathryn, that was brave and smart of you to talk to hubby's friend. I complain about not having much of a social life, but other people can make it harder in our food-rich environment. And I sure like my overnight fast from dinner to breakfast.

I think I finished at least day 12.

*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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3/25/17 6:30 P

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Day 9 doing fine

Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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3/24/17 12:02 P

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Layla you posted while I was writing my long post. Thanks for sharing the photo, a turtle how cool

Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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3/24/17 11:59 A

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Positive quote-Don't fear failure. Fear being in the same place next year as you are today.

I don't like that I am in about the same place I have been for a few years and am taking control of my life again.

I am sick again but not turning to comfort foods to sooth me this time. I am reading, taking walks and drawing. I have not bean doing large evening snacking and the scale shows it, down two pounds this week. I am watching portions and eating lower calorie foods. I have found that the Meals on Wheels dinners are about 300 calories each and very feeling. Lets hope you know who doesn't take them away from our low income seniors, just when I'm finely old enough for them.

I talked to my hubby's friend and ask to not bring cookies or do like he has in the past talked about some yummy cookies I should just run over to the bargain store to buy and he's paying. Hubby and I both asked him to support me in my efforts to not binge on cookies. I can eat one or two when I am out for coffee every now and than, but not have a pack at home.
Dy 8 binge free


Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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3/24/17 11:55 A

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Day something, 3? I am sicker than ever, I should go to the doctor but my regular doctor closed shop last fall and I never bothered to sign up with a new doctor, and now I don't want to go through all the rigmarole of signing up with a new doctor just to get some cough syrup.

Anyway here's a couple pictures, I'm the one in the pink with the mask emoticon





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TAWNEY3's Photo TAWNEY3 Posts: 1,761
3/24/17 8:03 A

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Day 4
Heading to my Yoga retreat today.

Tawney


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3/23/17 10:16 P

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Day 2

I will put up some pix tomorrow, I have tons but they all just look like postcards. I pretty much spent all day every day at the beach though, with a little snorkeling thrown in. Luckily I didn't even start to get sick until about the last day so even though being sick sucks it doesn't suck nearly as much as being sick on vacation emoticon

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/23/17 12:25 P

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Lyla, so glad to hear from you. It seems like ages! I hope you weren't sick in Puerto Rico. Tell us more! How about some pics?

Dolly, it really is worth working out some routine guidelines for meals, but guidelines that you can honestly say are fair at this moment. When you see clearly that you are doing what you can, you can start resting in that knowledge and the struggle eases some. But if you see that you could honestly do a little more, try doing it as often as you can, and see if the good feelings don't help make it easier. See if you can let go of the sense that you will be giving up all pleasure from eating if you hold back on some. The pleasures might not be quite as intense, but the overall feelings for not going overboard are really very addicting, too. And getting hungry and waiting for food can make it taste so good!

More later.

*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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3/23/17 10:09 A

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Day 13

Busy day yesterday. An friend from where I worked visited. We just had coffee. Then I had errands, swam and PT. 2 weeks back in PT and the muscles are no better. I think they are independent from my body sometimes. We start vacation tomorrow. Going to a concert with our kids and Saturday we are off to Miami - sun and the tennis tournament there. Pulling clothes from last summer. I am appreciative they fit, but my conscious thinks they should be big. The internal fighting never stops.

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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TAWNEY3's Photo TAWNEY3 Posts: 1,761
3/23/17 9:57 A

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Day 3
I got through yesterday. After all the aggravations my sewing machine that I got fixed over Christmas would not work to hem my new skinny jeans. I ended up hemming them by hand - Supper went well. We had a good visit with our friend. He brought some homemade wine and so I overate but did not binge. I really feel sorry for folks who battle depression a lot. I feel much better today and know whatever comes the day will be good.
I hope your new job is going well Lyla and you get feeling better.
We now have 3 new baby calves. It does not take them long to be up and jumping and playing with each other. It snowed again yesterday but is not too cold.

emoticon
3/1


Tawney


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3/22/17 9:03 P

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emoticon emoticon

Dang I was all full of revelations and now all I can think about are Tawney's kittens.

I started my "new" job this week, was in Puerto Rico for two glorious weeks before that, man it was so awesome.

Been sick as a dog (just a cold/cough but a gnarly one) so feel too icky to even think much about food, just lemon zinger.

I need to go back and read like, a month of posts. Hope y'all are hanging in there.

Natural Born World Shaker


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3/22/17 8:22 A

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Day 2
Yesterday was better. I was able to struggle past some sour spots of bingey thoughts and ate sanely.
I have 4 new kittens in the barn. They are so cute. I have 2 other cats as well. For some reason Blue is friends with them but not this mother. I hope I can get him to accept her as well.
There is a rummage sale in town today so hope to get some bargains. I also have to go and hassle with a gift card that I gave to my son for Christmas and did not work. It was really a miracle that I have the receipt.
I started packing for my yoga retreat. I have booked spa treatments on Friday afternoon. I refuse to entertain any "guilty" thoughts about spending money on this. I keep telling myself that I saved the money and I deserve it.
I have had a morning full of little frustrations. Nothing was serious but I have ended up fighting a depressed mood. The good lunch I planned was not even satisfying. The rummage sale did not have much - although I did get a couple of nice things, the flax buns I wanted weren't there, the business would not stand behind the gift card but when I went further on line I see that it was used - he must have forgotten. I got home and had to help outside because the cows have started calving and I have someone coming to supper. So I plan to eat nothing until 3pm snack. I hope I can snap out of this.


emoticon

Edited by: TAWNEY3 at: 3/22/2017 (14:59)
Tawney


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3/21/17 9:28 A

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Day 11
.
Really felt like crap most of the day yesterday, I attribute it to the extra dose of cardiac medicine. I was able to keep my obligations(in many ways they were a good diversion). Tracked my food all day and did 30 minutes on the stationary bike at PT. Awesome night sleep.

OOLALA - I have read your comments several times. They are always very thought provoking. I feel that balance is the bane of my existence. I also need to take ownership of my excuse making. I have let the stresses of others run rampant in my head and have allowed emotional eating to take over sane eating. I do know that my well being is not 100% in my control but I do know there are many things I can do to sway the outcome. I can't look at the totality, I need to go a day at a time. Thank you for yet again stirring my pot.

Tawney - What honesty! Hope you have a great day.


I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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3/21/17 9:00 A

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Day 1
I read your blog, Oolala. The following quote resonates with me today:
"Iím just not convinced a lot more scrutiny is going to make the kind of difference that merits the mental energy. I suspect I may use this whole topic as a refuge from other more difficult arenas, but that is for another day to reflect on. "
Yesterday I had the day to myself but had trouble accomplishing my expectations. Of course my expectations were too high for the day after a weekend away. I did OK until late afternoon when I "required" popcorn and wine to face my credit card balance. At first I rationalized that as an extended snack but my eating did not stop and my long binge-free streak came to an end. This morning your statements fit how I am feeling. The binge is over, not a lot of harm was done and I don't feel inclined to waste the mental energy analyzing it.
Today I will take as it comes and try to savour the moments as they unfold. The one thing I will admit that I realized yesterday is: fear is an issue I need to work on. Now it is enough to note that and I will think more about it later.
Take a breath, everyone, all is well.


Tawney


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/20/17 5:01 P

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Kathryn, cookies have sure brought you a lot of regret! It really seems you enjoy them more when you have them out of the house, where the amount is limited.

Dolly, I think we find our way somewhere between those two. Let whatever motivates you to action take center stage, since the stakes are pretty high. This has nothing to do with trying to meet some arbitrary standards of approval from others. Under the circumstances, you have the right to be as strict as you have the will to be, and if some disappointment in how you've handled things before helps motivate you, so be it. Dr. Phil said one time that one of the facets of any change is not being willing to be the person who created the problem anymore. Many people have completely turned around their binge habits because of a health scare, though many don't. For those it does, whatever binge urges they have paled in importance to the risk they now felt they would be taking by compulsively eating that food. They gave up foods that days before they didn't imagine being able to eat less of, but which now represented real danger. It doesn't mean they are dangerous; it's the belief that does it, and in such cases, it's useful to be deluded. I don't think a person not in the same space can convince themselves of this, though being close to someone in that boat can affect those around them. I know of one woman whose son had a condition that required that his diet be very controlled. It hit her one day that there was no real reason she couldn't be as careful. She dropped the amount of food she ate and some kinds overnight and never looked back. But people fail all the time trying to copy another person's eating without the same motivation.

Have spent most of this my first official day on break mostly writing about all this. Is this a passion or an obsessive diversion? Who knows? It's not necessary to know the difference today.

Feeling a tiny bit queasy so am delaying lunch. I will not let this lead me to believe I can make up for it later.

I think I am working on day 9.

Oh wrote a huge long comment that is now a huge long blog in case anyone is interested. www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=6335912


Edited by: OOLALA53 at: 3/20/2017 (17:02)
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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3/20/17 8:19 A

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Day 10

In my cardiac arrhythmia all night. A little wigged out. When it has happened in the past I have been able to chill until it passes. I have a busy day today. It is a HUGE slap in my face as to the importance of changing my life style. I am vacillating between self depreciating and a new sense of motivation .

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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3/20/17 8:16 A

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Day 1 (3)
Yesterday I finished my second cycle of 21 and today I start cycle 3.We were in the city for the weekend to watch our grandson's hockey tournament. He is 8 and really appreciated us coming. There were some tense moments but by Sunday things felt really good. Friday evening our son was so stressed over issues in his marriage, finances and I think the anticipation of us being there. I did not sleep well that night. I had told H it was not our problem and to put it out of his mind and have a good sleep. Well I did not listen to my own advice and worried a good part of the night. On Saturday morning I was able to have a good chat with our son and things are not as bad as I had imagined. The boys won their last game and so got gold in the C event.
I did well with food. I overate one night but just to the point of fullness. I did not sleep well last night again. Today I plan to do my yoga, go for a walk and try to let go of worrying about everything. I leave for my Yoga retreat on Friday and today I also want to start planning what to take, etc. I will need to watch for tiredness this afternoon and have a sleep instead of having a binge.
Oaxaca, I hope you are finding some relief.
Kathryn, I think it is lucky that I did not have cookies in my room over the weekend - I may have done what you did. I hope you find your groove again.
Oolala, thank you for the always thought provoking posts. Sometimes I think I am too old to learn and improve but that is so not true. New ideas are good for anyone at any age.

1-3/4

Tawney


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3/19/17 8:15 P

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Day 9

Finishing up a clean weekend. Good choices in moderation. Joined an accountability challenge on SP Facebook page. Looking for motivation heading into spring.

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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3/18/17 9:52 A

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Day 3
4 Day Streak 47
221 Days Binge Free


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3/17/17 8:26 P

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I was doing good yesterday eating healthy, light and what I wanted. I had dinner and was in my room when hubby's friend came over. He and hubby called me in to the living room. I came right in and found out the friend had bought a box of cookies for me. I took three and left, hour later went back for three more, only three left for hubby. After friend left talked hubby in to giving me two of his three. Cookies can not come in this house!!!!

emoticon

Edited by: CHANGING-TURTLE at: 3/17/2017 (20:27)
Kathryn
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3/17/17 7:23 A

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You absolutely can, Kathryn! Isn't it interesting (and almost a little weird) when you realize that eating mostly good quality (probably not manufactured) food has become the rule, not the exception? So many people think it has to happen all at once and give up when they have failures, or when they don't lose weight. It's lucky when something clicks and they get renewed commitment to a life where food supports them.

I think I've mentioned a friend who considers himself not to be trustworthy around food enough to keep anything but breakfast foods in his apartment. He has been using Meals on Wheels for more than a year, I think, and has lost about 30% of his weight (still overweight but he and his doctor are thrilled). Some people would rebel and feel deprived by the food, but he is so grateful to get reasonable meals with so little fuss. Ironically, though he used to believe he could not eat sweets in moderation, the few dessert items he gets each week are just pleasant routines, If there are any inklings to go get more, he is pretty much able to ignore them. His big incentive was his health, as he got clear that he was taking a big chance that he would not be healthy enough to participate in his grandchildren's lives.

I wasn't hungry for much at dinner and ate lightly, then got atypically hungry in the evening. I found myself trying to convince myself that it would be fine to have a little something, but I found really didn't want to eat just because I was hungry. How about that! I knew if I did, it wouldn't hurt me but good processes that go one when the body isn't digesting for a period of time couldn't happen. I wanted t think I was giving them a chance! I also wanted to see if I get the same feeling I've been getting after eating a bit larger meals after the lighter ones was a fluke. I hope not, as it's a terrific feeling and one I was looking forward to after a delicious breakfast.

But I couldn't find this out without actually doing it.

Had more but decided to turn it into a short blog.

Working on day 6, I think.

*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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Sorry I have been MIA but been having some great days away from the house for 4 1/2 hours and have been to tired to get on Spark. I have not been losing weight so have to "face the music" that's what I am going to do.

Positive quote-No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction you always have the choice to turn around.

I lost the first amount of weight off this old body by counting calories, doing exercise videos and walking. Last night I was sparked to get back on track and do these things. I have an area in my bedroom cleared now to do exercise videos and am doing them. I have the tracker on here to count my calories will every bite. I am eating what I want and making healthy choices. I have found that the Meals on Wheels meals are tasty, healthy and low calorie. I get five meals a week for me and am having them for dinner or lunch. I will not put any food on a no food list making me want to binge on it I will just count the calories of a small portion of it, that includes cookies.

Binge free day 7 a whole week emoticon

I have great support from my good Spark team mates to help me keep it up. I can do it!!!




Edited by: CHANGING-TURTLE at: 3/16/2017 (20:25)
Kathryn
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3/16/17 1:36 P

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I am doing ok with my eating but my rheumatoid arthritis has flared up and my right hand is not working properly so typing this is a challenge...thankfully I have an appointment with my rheumatologist today.












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Day 6

Did not have time to get on line, was a good day. Finally getting a few nibbles about interviews. It's a start. I will have to reorganize my time when I go back to work. Cannot afford to minimize the importance of SP in my routine.
Another busy day, I am also cooking an Irish dinner and having some neighbors over. Good thing Irish food isn't the "sexiest" I should be able to manage my portions.

Tawney - yup pretty sore from shoveling - shoulders and back woke up - lol
Jol1 - have a great trip
Kathryn and OAXACA - have a great day! emoticon

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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3/16/17 8:40 A

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Day 18-2
Yesterday went well.
H. had a wonderful day snow-machining and I had a super "me" day.
I had a massage which was very relaxing and also helped with my hip alignment. I came home to a warm soak, book, glass of wine and half a hazelnut chocolate bar.
We got good news about our finances and are looking forward to a more stable future. Our communication seems to be improving but I know it will always need some work.

All in all it was a good day. I have to say that before bed I suddenly "needed" a substantial snack. I am not sure if I thought I needed to celebrate or if I felt I had eaten more than usual and needed to continue or I was tired. Happily I did not act on the thought.



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3/15/17 6:51 P

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Day 5 still alive. Hubby and I both doing good

Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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3/15/17 12:23 P

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I am back in the game....so many thoughts right now that hopefully soon I can put into writing.
I'm off for an eye exam today...night time driving has become a problem, so I want to check that out, and anyway, its time for a new exam.
Wishing good things to everyone.












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3/15/17 10:56 A

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Finished Day #18! Working on Day #19 Binge Free!

Vacation until March 26!!

Tawney -- It's mixed. My sister loves using a travel agent, but DH and I usually find "deals". Sometimes even on Groupons! We've seen a lot of places with "https://www.gate1travel.com/" to Asia and to Spain/Portugal. Gate1 really does a good job and it's reasonable. This time we're using "http://www.georeisen-ecuador.com/" to go to Ecuador, but it will be more on our own. Be sure to get a frequent flier card with Delta and United, because I've gotten some free flights after all our travel. Let me know if you have any other questions. How exciting!

Travel is a bit stressful and tiring, but well worth it! I usually use it as a time to leave tracking and all that behind. It's very freeing.


Edited by: JOL1KEY2BOL3 at: 3/15/2017 (12:55)
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Day 17-2
Congrats on 21 days Oolala.
Dolly, I hope you made out OK shovelling - that snow is heavier than you think and you use different muscles than you are used to using. I found that out last week when it stormed here.
Jol1 - I am interested to know if you plan your own trips or use a travel agent. We are slowly moving toward travelling so not sure which way is best. I hope you have a great time.
Oaxaca - All is well! You can do this.
Kathryn, how are you doing?

I am looking forward to a "me" day today. I hope it unfolds nicely.

18-2/8/1


Edited by: TAWNEY3 at: 3/16/2017 (08:28)
Tawney


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3/14/17 2:14 P

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emoticon emoticon

Will write more tomorrow.












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Day 4

Yesterday was the best day I've had in a while. I know my buzyness was an aid but I'm still appreciative. Today we are snowed in. Not to the extent that we thought 6-8 inches plus a lot of sleet. My activity later will be helping hubby dig us out. In the past snow days have been a major source of binging. Had to make cookies.... No kids in the house - no cookies. Food is planned I intend to stay productive.

OOLALA - Congrats on the 21 days and I too will be copying the list task an will start on that today . Thank you
Jol1 - what an amazing trip, I guess you'll be gone a while - have a blast!
Tawney - you seem like you are in such a good place - good for you.

Everyone else - have a great day - be BF - 1 meal at a time


I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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3/14/17 10:19 A

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Finished Day #17! Working on Day #18 Binge Free!

Oolala -- Congratulations on 21 days!! emoticon

I'm getting ready to leave Thursday for Ecuador and the Galapagos.

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10Day 16-2
I am continuing to think about the communication issues. One thing I know I need to do is talk and share more especially how I feel. I also need to validate what he says sometimes and not make quick assumptions. I knew we would have adjustments now that we are together more so this is no surprise.
Yesterday I was invited to teach a high school class about Yoga. It was a good group of kids. I was pleased with the shape I am in - to demonstrate the poses. I hope some of them will get interested in the practice.
I then had Book Club over supper. We get the large round table in the back and are able to eat and discuss. We do discuss the book we read a little but mostly visit and reconnect. I brought our friend with dementia. It is so sad to hear her repeat the same thing over and over. After that I curled.
Today I am at home. I am doing OK with food but find I need to be making good decisions through the day. Maybe the eating issues will never go away - just be under control. They do not feel as sharp and angry as they once were but time will tell.
I like the idea of lists, Oolala. When things are written down in front of us it is not so easy for us to "forget" things on purpose or rationalize our behaviour. It is like shuffling our thoughts and bringing the right thoughts to the front - not leaving them buried.

16-2/ 10/3




Edited by: TAWNEY3 at: 3/14/2017 (08:28)
Tawney


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3/13/17 7:08 P

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Dang! Wrote long post about men and conversation and it disappeared.

Oops, Oaxaca, I go blabbing my stuff in so many places, I thought I had talked about lists here. This is a variation on the first step Judith Beck recommends in her series.

Make three lists. It will probably take a few sessions of reflecting on them, so don't feel it has to be done and perfect in 15 minutes. We spend so much time with all this whirling around in our heads, consciously or unconsciously, that it can be helpful to sort it out. And sobering. Possibly a little painful, but like draining an abcess. Healing follows.

First list: admit what you actually like about bingeing, its advantages. There has to be some pleasure, even if it's mixed up now with wishing you didn't do it. It can be in leading up to the event, the eating itself, the time before you get too full, etc. Try not to think of the negatives now. If it helps, some say it's a natural human tendency amped up on modern foods. Best if it's bullet points.

Second list: what you hate about it, i.e., the disadvantages. Physical, mental, emotional, in relationships, etc. (Okay to list the self-criticism, though that can be worked on separately.)

Last one: the advantages you think you'll get from controlling the behavior. The more they revolve around well-being, function, and your inner experience, and the less on appearance, the better (for disordered eaters). Disordered eaters who focus on body image are more likely to give up on their eating plans. Make this one as complete as possible, but realistic. Handling food is not going to bring world peace or eternal bliss.

These can be a work in progress, but the key is in reviewing them daily. I read my advantages list (40+ items) literally hundreds of times over several months when I had my turnaround. I still have it on my desktop and look at it sometimes. I also included a few little mantras and some small rewards I would give myself at different stages.(I am amazed how long ago I met some milestones and went beyond them; yes, those were scale reasons but they were always second to habit.) It was amazing to me how often the reasons would pop into my mind at the right times after I made the habit of reviewing them whether I thought I needed them or not. I still had to exert effort, but the connection was clearer. Beck's other strategies were central, too.

Yes, it would be so nice if we were those people who never have to think about what we eat or don't eat, but most of them are herding unicorns, and possibly suffering from health problems anyway. One of my slim colleagues has diabetes II and almost died one year from hepatitis. Has never had a weight problem. I'm actually surprised how she eats. I don't think I'd take the chances she does. Slim people can have food problems, too.

If you'd like to see my list, I can send it to you separately. It's slightly shorter than the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Edited by: OOLALA53 at: 3/14/2017 (17:20)
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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3/13/17 4:20 P

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Day 1 for me.

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Day 3
4 Day Streak 47
221 Days Binge Free

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Thank you everyone for the encouragement....Oolala, I went back over past posts to check,but I don't know what lists you were referring to..please let me know so I can check it out.
I have the day to myself, which right now feels perfect. Then out to dinner tonight. We are going with a couple I really don't like very much, but its one of those situations where its hard to completely shake them off. I will live through it.
Tawney, communication with a spouse can really be a challenge. My husband and I have been working on it for over 30 years. We did go for some counselling years ago, and it was helpful. It seems its not uncommon for many men to be very outgoing with people they are not really emotionally connected to, but then clam up with their loved ones. Good luck.
I'm working on another binge free day....












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3/13/17 10:38 A

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My father would be rather animated when we had guests. Friends would comment on it about him, how he seemed pretty funny or something. My brother and I would roll our eyes.

I"m pretty sure I made it to 21 days, the easiest streak I've had for awhile.

*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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3/13/17 10:31 A

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Finished Day #16! Working on Day #17 Binge Free!



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Day 15-2

I struggled yesterday with allowing myself time off. I had to finally tell myself that the few items on the "to-do" list can wait until tomorrow. I have accomplished a lot in the last few days and sitting watching the Men's Briar(curling) on TV with hubby was not a bad thing. The team I was cheering for won. The team was from Newfoundland. When the skip was 18 he had created a list of curling events he wanted to win. It included an Olympic gold medal, Junior championship and the Briar. He is now in his 30's and yesterday was able to complete the list by winning. the event also was held in Newfoundland his home province which made the victory even sweeter.
I had another confrontation over communication with hubby. My issue is: I talk with my daughter in law about the upcoming weekend and am quite excited about going to see the grandchildren. I tell him about what I learned and he does not answer. He says I am just telling him information and there is nothing to say. I think he would converse with anyone else that he spoke with because he is very talkative and outgoing. We did work it out a bit but I would love to be able to have a natural feeling exchange. Do we need help to do this? Time will tell.



15-2/11/4

Edited by: TAWNEY3 at: 3/13/2017 (10:03)
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3/13/17 8:44 A

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Day 3

Busy day ahead, hair appt, food shopping and PT evaluation on the knee. All this ahead of the winter storm hitting the east tonight. I am sure there will be mayhem out there. I hope to go with the flow and not get caught up in it. Will deal with tomorrow tomorrow.

OAXACA - hang in there - 1 day at a time

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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3/12/17 10:27 P

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Oaxaca, the shame is just part of the habit. So is the hopelessness. But they are also probably from experience now paired with the physical feelings of the eating. Be careful not to mix them up. I wish I could convince you to write the lists I think I've mentioned before. I think they would make a difference. But either way, be gentle with yourself, like you would be with a client. Just do your best to get back to your supportive eating plan.

And become one with your bed at night... emoticon



*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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3/12/17 2:12 P

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Positive quote-Never give up everyone has bad days, pick yourself up and keep going.

Have been keeping a journal of my eating and how I feel and it is helping me.

Day two binge free

Edited by: CHANGING-TURTLE at: 3/12/2017 (14:13)
Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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I "allowed' myself to get out bed last night, and as per usual, I binged. Feeling discouraged, a little embarrassed, and just pretty hopeless. emoticon












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Day 2

While Friday was binge eating, I honestly did not have time to post. Yesterday was sane eating.(I hate calling it good or bad). Busy day - had a mother/daughter engagement luncheon for a friends daughter and a planned dinner out with my brother. I had a heavier bigger meal at the luncheon and a mexican salad for dinner. Happy with my choices.
I reread all of the posts from the past couple of days, some great sharing and binging insight. I do try to hold on to these nuggets of insight.
Looking to structure and plan out my week as we are expecting a noreaster on Tuesday. Crazy given the amount of outside walking I've done the past few weeks.

Tawney - great work on your maintenance transition.
OOLALA - you could write a book. I so appreciate your insight - Thank you!
The rest of the team - keep up the great work.

I do love this team, it is my 1 faithful and constant check in.

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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Finished Day #15! Working on Day #16 Binge Free!


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Day 2
4 Day Streak 47
220 Days Binge Free

Difficult weekend Back on track.

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Day 14
Yesterday I got more paperwork done so I think that the income tax is done unless the accountant has more questions. I called my brother and had a good chat.
I ate foods yesterday that I have been limiting as I lost the weight. I am trying to face the fear of gaining the weight back. Not bingeing often will definitely be necessary. I am trying to let go of assigning magical qualities to food. In other words - if I eat chocolate, bread, butter, etc I will instantly gain. Also these foods will not cause a binge. My choices create the binge.

Kathryn I hope your Day 1 went well. You can do this one hour at a time.

emoticon



14-2/12/5

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3/11/17 2:51 P

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Day 8 Last night I was invited to attend my granddaughter's high schools Broadway Showcase show. It was so professional. I allowed 1 1/2 hours to get there, it usually takes 40 minutes. My son parked my car, and I took my seat as the curtain rose. PHEW! CA 6PM traffic.

This morning, I cooked a lot of vegetables, so they will be ready when I get hungry.

For me, I am ffinding if I really want a treat (it has to be good quality), I can buy something that I would consider off limits in my old dieting behaviors. I love peanut butter and used to eat half a jar, now with Jiff peanut butter to go, I can eat a portion at a time.

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emoticon

Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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Binge free.....
Thank you for your insights....I will be re-reading those posts to let them settle into my brain.
Hubby came home with a ton of tomatoes, so today I will be making tomato sauce to freeze. It will keep me busy for quite a while.
Hope today turns out to be good day.....












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Finished Day #14! Working on Day #15 Binge Free!

Tawney and Oolala - I don't have time to write today, but what you have both expressed about binging has been true for me too.

Oaxa -- You posed an excellent question. Ditto what Tawney and Oolala said.



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Day 13-2
I is cold again today (-32C with a wind chill of -37). Yesterday I had several victories. I woke up with low energy and not feeling really well. It could be because I drank a Hot Toddy while soaking in my bubble bath after curling. Instead of medicating with food I decided to "push through it until noon. Hubby had planned a sledding trip so I would have the house to myself with no demands on me. I did my cow chores and cleaned and organized the back porch aiming for the 1pm sledding trip.
I did feel better but the sledding did not happen because of the weather. I got more tired as the afternoon wore on. He plowed snow in the pens for the day but did go for coffee at 3. I sat down and watched some "escape" TV. I record programs on the PVR so I can watch when I want and skip the commercials.
But after supper I got really aggravated. Hubby's back got bad and he needed attention, I struggled with a website for vehicle registration, and the dog kept wanting in and out of the house. When I get like that I have trouble seeing any good at all. I was honest with my hubby and told him what and why I was feeling so he understood. That is huge for me. Then I went to bed, had a good sleep and feel great this morning.
Forgive me for boring you with this narrative but it really helps me to get it out of my head and make it something real.
So I made some good decisions and got through a day that had its ups and downs. I did not really think of bingeing but I did start to graze which can lead to bingeing very quickly. I felt some feelings and did not try to fix them with food. I am looking forward to a great day today.

13-2/13/6

Edited by: TAWNEY3 at: 3/11/2017 (07:59)
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Even when I "legalized" foods, I would still overeat them. Although it is known that forbidding foods can lend power to them, it is not the only thing that makes them very attractive. Even in cultures or places that have no prejudices against food, some individuals way overdo some of them. Even the lack of guilt doesn't stop them. I thought it would, but I see now why it didn't. It's only one part of the puzzle. The reward system still got tripped. I had to learn to choose differently based on wanting the hours later in the day to be different from what I knew they would be if I binged. That realization was hard won and took a lot of practice. It takes some even now, but I know now that is normal. And there are still a few binge experiences that sound great to me even though I'll likely never do them again because I believe it would turn out pretty bad! But sometimes I think if I got diagnosed with a terminal illness...

Riley says we are conditioned to keep wanting more. (I think it's also part of natural human appetite, especially if there is food available and no cultural constraints ) That is what will lead us to keep picking after dinner. I had bought some fresh blueberries today and found myself thinking about them at least an hour after I had some at the end of dinner. It's not as if they are a lot of calories or anything, but I know I would just be reinforcing that fake need to keep a level of food in the stomach. In the early days, I would probably have had a decaf mocha, but these days, tea is all I'll have unless it's right at the end of the meal. I may be imagining it, but it just seems my body works better with food going down the hatch less often.

Day 20 complete. I have a St. Patrick's Day party tomorrow. The hostess supplies corned beef and cabbage but people bring other stuff, especially desserts, including me in the past. I wanted to make sure I would have what I wanted. I'm considering bringing flowers because there's always too much food and "healthy" foods just don't get eaten. I don't think I've ever left not darn full, but I don't want to worry about it, either. And it will be Day 21.

*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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TAWNEY3's Photo TAWNEY3 Posts: 1,761
3/10/17 9:24 P

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Day12-2
There was definitely some pleasure in the binge process for me. There was the building anticipation of a release. I used to seal myself tightly into a box of rigid rules. I used to day dream of eating all the foods I was denying myself and sooner or later I would snap. I would gorge on the foods I had been craving. Of course any pleasure I felt would dissolve into guilt and self loathing. I repeated the behaviours so many times without insight ino what I was doing. I heard something lately about how our brain seems to form a loop. It is like a race track without any exits. In order to change we need to create new pathways which is very hard.

Tawney


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/10/17 8:34 P

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Oaxaca, may I ask what you think you will do if the urge and thoughts get very strong again? Do you think there is any relationship between how free you feel your choices are at your meals , how pleasurable you feel they are, and how that impacts your relationship with the urges?

Looking forward to dinner in awhile. Also looking forward to hunkering down with a couple of books that are due back to the library. It's been a warm day and might be good to go to the beach, but I'd rather enjoy a relaxing dinner. It isn't out of the question to go for a walk there later, though it will have gotten chilly. But we are a few days from a full moon and the sky is pretty clear now. Someone tell me to do it!

*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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OAXACA1's Photo OAXACA1 Posts: 2,589
3/10/17 10:27 A

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I'm not binge free as of last night.... I have felt it coming, as you could see in my posts, and last night was bad. But I refuse to go back to that binge/no binge cycle again. I am getting back on the horse and am determined to stay in the saddle!
I'm off to the dentist soon, and hope he tells me that the infection is cured...I don't want to lose my tooth...I already have a mouthful of dental implants. (Fortunately they are affordable here in Mexico).
And that's all folks....












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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/10/17 10:24 A

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Oaxaca, I think you have hit on something important. We hate the binge because it has brought us so much pain, and we think we can't admit that it also brings pleasure. Whether a person calls it addiction or just the natural human bias for dense calories hijacked by modern manufactured foods, it does feel good! But as with all overages, it is followed with discomfort and even misery. It is also human to evaluate our behavior and make new habits that support vitality. We've got the brains for new habits, and the bodies to use up our stores! But it doesn't mean we won't sometimes miss it, especially if we don't give much attention to how much we actually enjoy the meals we do provide for ourselves. That is why it's so important to have an eating plan that provides meals we consider a fair combination of what Laurie Mellon calls light and luscious food. Not all luscious food is sweet! But even then, it's human to enjoy the memory of delight, even if it was fleeting. IMHO

Working on day 20.

*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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TAWNEY3's Photo TAWNEY3 Posts: 1,761
3/10/17 12:23 A

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Day 11--2
A busy day today - We drove to the next town for new tires on th car, an accountant visit, lunch and grocery shopping. Once home I did some errands in town and lead Yoga. Supper was half my lunch that I brought home and then I was off to curling. I am now out of the tub and getting off to bed.
I think I did OK with food.


Edited by: TAWNEY3 at: 3/10/2017 (00:25)
Tawney


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GOOCHIE99 Posts: 185
3/10/17 12:17 A

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Day 6. Too busy to post.

Went out to eat with friends, and I DID NOT GAIN WEIGHT. Hooray!!

I have finished 2 horrific stressful meetings, and survived. I can now sleep.
I meet my new Literacy learner tomorrow.

For those struggling, relax, you will eventually figure it out.

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3/9/17 4:51 P

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Day 6

It have been a pretty good week. Happy with food choices. I always measure breakfast, need to expand beyond that. I have found myself with a growling stomach late afternoon. I am assuming it is from the couple weeks of loosey goosey. Been trying to have tea or up the water until it is dinner time.
i has been a busy week with a full house to boot. Little time to be bored and thinking about food.

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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OAXACA1's Photo OAXACA1 Posts: 2,589
3/9/17 12:11 P

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I'm still binge free.
I realized last night something that I have never thought of before. I actually missed having a binge. Not that I missed the feelings that follow a binge, but the actual binge. The eating without thinking, grabbing things I often pass on, being in that unfeeling, unthinking world where nothing else exists but me and the food. Hmmmm, after all these years, it was an epiphany for me. And maybe that has been what has been going on the last few days...putting myself just on the edge of a binge, trying to get some of that feeling again. Now I really have something to ponder; and I wonder if anyone else can identify with this?
Meanwhile, it sure is a pleasure to wake up without remorse or a sick stomach. I really need to hang on to this.
Today is work, lunch out with my good friend, and then a manicure and pedicure....nice day.
Oolala, I used to be devoted to my exercise....45 minutes on the elliptical, and a little bit of weight training. But after my last episode when I fell and fractured my sacrum, I haven't been able to do the elliptical as it causes pain. And then, I just stopped everything. I keep telling myself I will start working with my weights and do my arm and abdominal exercises, but I don't. Sigh.....
Have a good one everyone....



Edited by: OAXACA1 at: 3/9/2017 (12:15)











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JOL1KEY2BOL3's Photo JOL1KEY2BOL3 SparkPoints: (114,494)
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3/9/17 8:50 A

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Finished Day #12! Working on Day #13 Binge Free!

Hi all, I'm still here... just overwhelmed right now with a lot of stuff. Hang in there!



Edited by: JOL1KEY2BOL3 at: 3/9/2017 (08:53)
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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 11,553
3/9/17 2:47 A

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Reading Riley has made me see that there is one area that might refine my process even more. I realize that although I don't fear true hunger any more, and even often enjoy it, and although I can tolerate the conditions of craving and desire for food without hunger without eating, I have much more of an attitude of being resentful that those feelings come and a wish to push them away. Riley implies that, though I may not learn to enjoy those feelings, I could see them as being just as inevitable as true hunger, and just as necessary to manage, and not a sign that something is wrong, or a source of eternal torture. She admits that this can sound impossible, but that it can be cultivated. Not only can be but not doing it is likely what keeps so many people, heavy and thin, trapped in eating struggles for most of their lives. So, Merry Jo, you are definitely not alone!

May we all have less resentment for our appetites today.

Day 18 complete. working on day 19.

I don't like to give much attention to body measurements, but I did go for a bodyfat analysis yesterday. The fat and muscle ratios in my arms and legs changed from last year, with fat gaining ground, even though my weight isn't that different. However, my distribution is considered quite healthy, and I even gained some muscle in my torso through no effort of mine. I admit I am in denial about needing more consistent exercise. I definitely could make time for it, but I don't- so far. Perhaps dwelling on these changes, without drama, may help me turn the corner. The problem is that I actually don't feel as terrible when I don't exercise as I used to when I was eating compulsively. Not wanting to feel so yucky was a big incentive for my getting a handle on my eating. With exercise, though I know I will feel somewhat better, most of my motivation will need to be mental. I doubt I'll be able to feel any incremental increases in muscle in my arms and legs. I didn't feel the losses!

Edited by: OOLALA53 at: 3/9/2017 (08:35)
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats. SEVEN years and counting! nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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MERRYJO1 Posts: 325
3/8/17 3:27 P

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Thanks for sharing; it's good to know others have those days when the appetite wants to rule. emoticon emoticon

Love the Lord your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.


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MERRYJO1 Posts: 325
3/8/17 3:21 P

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emoticon I will make good choices today! emoticon

Edited by: MERRYJO1 at: 3/8/2017 (15:22)
Love the Lord your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.


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OAXACA1's Photo OAXACA1 Posts: 2,589
3/8/17 1:54 P

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Still binge free, but it hasn't been easy. The last two days I have felt like I have the appetite of a horse, and have been at the top of my calorie range. But the important thing is that I have not binged.I feel a little saner today; I just hope it lasts. And thankfully the bloat is gone. I was thinking that maybe it took my system over a week to get back to normal after all those on and off days. Anyway, it feels good to have that stomach balloon gone.
Kathryn, I think the journal idea is a good one. And how about tracking your non binge days...a more positive outlook....wishing you a binge free day today.
After one client, I am free for today...think I'll catch up on my reading...
Let's stay strong!













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CHANGING-TURTLE's Photo CHANGING-TURTLE SparkPoints: (170,734)
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3/8/17 1:17 P

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Here we go again emoticon like they say it is not how many times you fall it is that you got up or something like that. Had a tiff with the ex state caretaker and took my anger out on a box of crackers in stead of her. I mindlessly plowed through that box and when done realized I did not even like though crackers.

I am keeping a food journal again and tracking my binges. I have had three so far this week. I am a work in progress.

Thank you team mates for being here and understanding, emoticon emoticon

Kathryn
Sacramento, California




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VGDOLLY's Photo VGDOLLY SparkPoints: (48,521)
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3/8/17 9:31 A

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Day 5

I am bigger than any urge.
Change the story change the outcome.


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Topics: Last Post:
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Suggestions for how to stop bingeing 2/26/2016 11:30:42 AM
How to accept the size I have 7/18/2016 12:11:54 PM
Day 1 - binge free! 11/18/2016 3:19:34 AM
4 Day Wins (Short term habit changing) 3/21/2017 1:14:07 PM



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