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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,515
6/10/11 11:53 P

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Thanks, Goosiemoon!

I know that feeling of being burdened by being so attached to food. It's everywhere! And we have to have it!

But I'm here to tell you when the day comes that you are feeling more at ease around food, you are going to be glad. We get to enjoy our substance! It really can be a lovely part of your life. emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,820 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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SOULOFADANCER's Photo SOULOFADANCER SparkPoints: (25,873)
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6/10/11 9:20 P

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I always felt odd that eatin disorders where not like other drug habits. You have to eat unlike drugs and alcohol so I used to scream how unfair it was. I even hoped maybe I could live on liquids my whole life and then that would be that. NOT!!!
It was a silly thought but as a teen that was the type of thinking I had when I was so severely into my disorder

Are you living your true life or the life others want you to live?


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GOOSIEMOON's Photo GOOSIEMOON SparkPoints: (172,201)
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6/10/11 11:24 A

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Marcella -

There is so much wonderful support on this team, and so much good advice.
I think I know how you feel (I would never assume that I could know entirely) and you are not alone. This is a slow process, but so worth the time and effort (and YOU are worth the time and effort!) I've been overweight, and have binged to self-medicate for anxiety my whole life.

One day this past January, I woke up and thought "I need to get to the root of this binge eating/overeating problem. I need to start today, and I need to keep at it, no matter what." I knew that I was not about the food, but needed to clarify what the underlying reason was.
I sat with my anxiety that day, and let the weight of it fully come over me. I did not stuff it down with a bag of chips, or a jar of peanut butter, even though I felt nauseous and uncomfortable all morning.

It engulfed me every morning then, but little-by-little, it would subside. For about a month after that, every morning I consciously "sat with my anxiety", and gave it my attention in the hope that it would be diffused over time (or at least that I would recognize it and know that it was just a bad feeling, not real imminent danger.)
I did not stuff it down with a bag of chips, or a jar of peanut butter, even though I felt nauseous and uncomfortable all morning.

I think that I'm in the process of building better habits and treating myself as I would treat a friend. I try to be conscious of my self-talk, and though I have a long way to go, I feel like I have more power to help myself than I used to. I still feel some anxiety, but a bit less and knowing what it is helps me to cope in those moments.

OOLALA has been a source of support and encouragement for me (she may not know this yet), and for that I am eternally grateful. She is one strong lady and her no-nonsense, yet nurturing words have been helpful to me on many occasions.

I share this in the hope that you feel less alone and know that better habits can be built, even if the process is less-than-beautiful.

emoticon

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

~ Earl Nightingale


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POWER1938's Photo POWER1938 SparkPoints: (1,839)
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6/8/11 5:41 P

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My SparkFriends, although we have a common issue, I'll tell you what I firmly believe:

WHATEVER THE MIND OF MAN CAN CONCEIVE & BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE!

If you are religious, as I am, Jesus says it all, "With God, all things are possible!" Therefore, there is no such thing as "impossible." People have climbed the highest mountain, they have descended to the lowest depths of the ocean, they have put men into outer space....and so many other things. Let's just tell ourselves that "the difficult we do immediately; the impossible just takes us a while!"



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RUNANGRUN Posts: 44
6/8/11 10:24 A

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Today I am really angry with the diet industry. They have taken too much of my money, when really nothing - no pill, no classes, no diet - will work to stop the real problem - binge eating. They target people who have much bigger issues with food than mere willpower. How many times did I feel so ashamed because I couldn't stick to a diet (when really I was binging). How many times did I lose 10 pounds, only to binge it back? I started to learn this about myself many years ago in OA, but I didn't give it enough time. Too bad, many years later, I'm back in that same place. This time, I am going to do the work.


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,515
6/7/11 11:10 A

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I want you to know that when you're first resisting the urges (first meaning the first months of doing it), the urges can feel dark and powerful, but looking back, they will seem almost silly, like turning on a light in a scary dark closet. But you can't get this perspective without going into the closet to turn on the light! Really, it's just clothes and shoes in there! Okay, really scary clothes and shoes, but still... emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,820 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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RUNANGRUN Posts: 44
6/7/11 8:55 A

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Jonica - I completely agree! OA (3 pre-planned meals) was the only thing that has ever worked for me, and, of course, only when I did it! Now, No "S" is also working really well. It is very interesting because it is helping me to separate my "diet downfalls" from my true binge eating. And, like many posts have said before me (and I find it really helpful to read over and over again from committed people with my problem who are experiencing success) - RESIST! It is just a feeling. A horrible, uncomfortable. dark feeling, but a feeling. We are not powerless against it and it does pass. The people here are wonderful and provide support - you can do it!

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JONICACALDWELL's Photo JONICACALDWELL Posts: 1,250
6/6/11 3:56 P

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I would love to be like, "A granola bar, that's plenty of food! ""A yogurt? I'm full!" But it's never going to happen. What can happen is having a planned food day and after we finish our allotted food, just walk away. We might not be full, but we need to learn how to be satisfied. We are all here because out weights fluctuate due to binging. I'm sorry for your realization but am proud to have you as part of the group.

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NOT-FALLING Posts: 44
6/6/11 2:38 P

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Sweetie, there are so many of us here who understand what you're going through. This whole process has brought back horrible thoughts of the bulimia I used to struggle with in high school, but I've found that focusing on exercise has really helped, keeping my trigger foods out of sight/house (since I was the only one who really brought them in), and keeping myself distracted when the urges come on. Its an uphill struggle, but the battle is worth it once you can look your problem in the face and scream back ten times louder than it can that you won't be beaten by it.

Just remember, no matter what, one step forward is still a step in the right direction.

I'm only a few days into a binge-free streak, but even if I slip, I know I'm going to get past it someday. Let's do this!

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SBATES63's Photo SBATES63 Posts: 8,614
6/6/11 2:11 P

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Marcella, I know it's hard when you seem to be always struggling, and it seems hopeless. It does get better. Most people with an addiction don't change things until the pain gets to be too great. It's the nature of human beings. Aim for tiny little changes, one at a time. Don't restrict too much because you will "blow" eventually. Keep posting and never give up.

Persevere. Even if you fall on your face, you have moved forward.

PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.


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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,515
6/6/11 12:48 P

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Marcella, in a certain way, it is good that you feel so frustrated. Unfortunately, I think many people have to get so unhappy with the crappy eating that they finally realize that it's worse than whatever difficulty, discomfort, or feelings they have to tolerate to get over it. It is not going to get and stay easy all of a sudden, especially when it is such an ingrained habit now! But it can be done. Give yourself at least a year of committed effort to get a foundation. When you are ready to face that we often talk ourselves into obeying the urges, and that we can start resisting them, you will be able to carve out at least a few experiences that give you strength and likely help quell SOME of the urges the next time. And although it is nice and good to be able to tell what you are feeling and try to deal with that, to some degree, just by resisting the food no matter what, you will be less at the effect of your feelings, and can learn to deal with them differently without so much food drama. Really! emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,820 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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SNAPDRAGON1231 SparkPoints: (2,485)
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6/6/11 12:25 P

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Come hang out on the 21day streak thread, we all can relate, and it's very supportive!!!!

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DRELLABELLA Posts: 375
6/6/11 11:41 A

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It would be so much easier to lose weight if i wasn't struggling with the disorder of binge eating disorder. i envy people who can just straight--forwardly eat less and not bounce up and down as their eataing goes from healthy to binging to healthy again--not just over-eating, but all--out seemingly uncontrollable binging. It is sooo frustrating and I seem to sabeatauge (sp) myself just when i am seeing success. I struggled to lose 15 pounds over months and months, and with a couple of weeks of bad binging, I can gain it back unbelievably rapidly/ fit seems like a never-ending cycle. I have had problems with binge eating since I was 12, it seems like a never-ending problem that I can't resolve. It is hard to keep up my motivation when it is such a constant struggle and it is one step forward and then three steps back, over and over again.
--marcella

keep trying despite failure, and if you perservere, eventually you WILL succeed.


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