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Posts: 101 2/1/14 8:26 P
I think it is emotional, physical, spiritual, mental. I have had all of the eating disorders at one time or another and while I can track how I acquired some of them, the bottom line is that I am addicted and I know have to put my focus on what I am going to do about it. I find that for me there are three main components underlying and fueling my addiction: shame, fantasy and isolation. Shame began with some of the experiences from my childhood. I grew up in an alcoholic home where "Don't talk, don't trust and don't feel" were the norms. That created isolation and an inability to have any way to reach out beyond myself. I didn't know how to ask for help because I didn't know how to communicate beyond questions that elicited "yes" or "no" answers. When I learned about open questions a whole world opened up to me. But for years "don't trust" kept me from using those communication skills, even when I knew what I felt. It also took me years to figure out what I needed, since my needs were given no credence. Food kept me company, soothed the feelings I wasn't supposed to have and kept the numbness of the shock stage of PTSD going. It was a powerful ally at one time but I have outgrown finding it useful as I have substituted people for the isolation of a binge/deprivation. I have found the best way to let an outgrown best friend go is to do it gently, with respect for what it has done for me in the past. That takes self-acceptance, bonds with other people and the courage to use the skills I now have. Not easy but so much more rewarding. The fantasy for me was that the way I used food was doing all that I wanted it to, that it would again some day (when it had outgrown any real usefulness and was hurting me), and that bingeing would have no consequences. I also told myself that I didn't care sometimes, which was a lie. Spirituality - the ability to live and appreciate life - was lacking because eventually depression and increased shame took its place. I didn't trust me so I didn't think I could trust anyone, including God. I had it backward, I believe. I had to learn to lean on God to be able to get to the point where I could again trust myself and others. Not an overnight thing! My best thinking got me in this addiction spot where I am today and my mind can be a deluded, dark neighborhood. I run my thinking regarding food by others, including on SP forums, in order to be in a better place mentally. I already know what I know and it ain't workin', so time to try new things! Today I try not to lie because that is the first step down the addiction and shame spiral that leads me into a binge. Especially I try not to lie to myself. Honesty is the keystone for all the rest of my program. The physical was written about by another lady. Wow! I learned some things I didn't know from you. I knew it was a disease pathway and that genetics were involved but you really covered a lot of how. Thank you! This post got awfully long. If you are still reading, thanks! I am so glad you all are here, you help me more than you can know, even when I am just reading and not writing.
Pounds lost: 15.0
Posts: 11,353 3/15/13 1:24 P
I am new here and need a lot of help for sure. I am with at least 2 things that I am addicted to.
current weight: 165.2
Posts: 53 2/21/13 1:16 P
Yeah... And it is an addiction. I am currently taking an addiction counciling and I never knew that my over eating was one. Bt it has opened my eyes. So I have started writing down what I am eating to keep track and it helps a hole lot. Especially if I find something I want to eat. I put in in my tracking and see how many calories it has, and that makes me not want to eat it! Since I started doing that I have lost 9 pounds!
•*´¨ ) ¸.•*¨) -:¦:- (¸.•´(¸ ;.•Jantina•*¨)♥
Geek, geek, geek! :D
Pounds lost: 78.0
Posts: 189 11/9/12 3:37 P
Overeating is definitely more of an emotional issue for me, and I'm SOOOO ready to be free!
"The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2 Chronicles 16:9a
Pounds lost: 46.7
Fitness Minutes: (95) Posts: 71 11/9/12 9:38 A
oh and my current measurements
4 ft 11 aged 30 and i weight 7st 12lbs - maybe 13
My weight when im not bingeing is usually 7st 5lbs (a couple of lbs either way) so not grossly overweight but still I hate that i can't control my self around food i hate that i have gained weight and that i cant get it off and i hate that i spend more time with food than anything or anyone else in my life
i resent being here it sucks
Fitness Minutes: (95) Posts: 71 11/9/12 9:34 A
There is no real reason as to why I eat it could be any reasom - it doesnt matter. Being on this site means I can see I am not the only one that does what I do that there are a whole host of people out there in the great wide world experiencing the same emotions and struggle with food as I am.
Yet this realisation is not reassuiring - it makes me realise the futility of our efforts that there is no recovery from this.
Then when I tell my myself theres no point in fighting it - suddenly my fighting defiant spirit kicks in and I'm like no way will I give in to this. My food addiction is not the boss of me I will be free of this c&&p once and for all.
And then of course it all starts again and so far i have managed to get through 4 days without a binge max 5.
I started with binge eating/compulsive eating almost 7 years ago and even though i told myself my 30th year will be the year I stop being depressed. overeating and start living my life I havent done any of it. This last year has been the toughest so far - i have been floating between what feels like severe depression to anger, despair, general irrritability, hiding away from the world in my bed so all in all not a good year.
I dont want to keep wasting my life away like this - Im tierd of food being my only companion. (then Im also afraid that tomorrow and the day after il be back where i started bingeing and bingeing and hating myself and the world).
I'm at a loss - nothing works for me.
I want to stop yet I don't. I want to stop and I can't I simply wish once i make the decision to stop (like i do every day) that would be it I will never binge, overeat, comfort eat - but lo and behold I do exactly that.
so thank you god for giving me this damn disorder, addiction or whatever u want to call it - I thank you. so anyway here we are - now where do i go?
Fitness Minutes: (15,851) Posts: 672 11/6/12 7:35 P
I been focus on the bad that happen to me and see everything in dark storm and food is to fill the void in my heart that I lose and it give me something to do so I won't deal with pain, sadness, angry that I feel everyday.
I got want to do it and do this for me. My mind is in battle and my body is at war. I'm in battle with myself and if I can over come myself than I can over come it all and do it one day at a time, let it go and get one step closer to my goal.
current weight: 256.0
Fitness Minutes: (30,945) Posts: 10,181 4/1/12 8:23 P
I had a good ween when I visited my brother . He and his family now eat healthy meals. But as soon as I walked into my own home--well--- let's not go there. Chris
Fitness Minutes: (6,156) Posts: 45 11/4/11 9:08 A
I am in such a rut right now. I have been tracking and exercising faithfully since sept. (even though I go over my calories every day I still track them) I am feeling good about the workouts but have actually gained 4 lbs in 2 months cause I can't stop eating and grabbing junk. I quit smoking just about a year ago but having food fill the void is not working for me. Its so discouraging to work out so hard and still see the scale go up because of overeating. I just had to get this out of mind and down somewhere. Good luck to all.
Pounds lost: 3.6
Posts: 8 10/30/11 10:30 A
I found out that for me it's definitely a need for feeling good. I eat to feel good. If I'm having an extremely bad day the food would make me feel better temporarily and then after I ate it I would immediately feel bad about myself. I believe my cause of addiction is merely the fact that I'm missing something in my life. Now that I've realized what I'm missing is not food, I'm searching for that thing that I'm missing. I'm trying to fill a void.
current weight: 252.0
Fitness Minutes: (30,945) Posts: 10,181 10/28/11 6:03 A
That sounds very brave to me. Separate me from my food. Oh Lordy, Lordy!
Fitness Minutes: (1,552) Posts: 6 10/27/11 10:05 A
I know this may sound crazy, but I decided to do a little "personal cleansing" and went on a 4 day fast. I certainly don't condone this as a way of loosing weight per say, but what I have learned is incredible. I learned that I really wasn't as hungry as I thought I was all the time, in fact, my stomach only growled about twice during this time. I didn't really crave certain foods my body just seemed to run on auto-pilot, and I was able to clearly identify when I would normally binge or emotional-eat, as I had to deal with those uncomfortable feelings instead of eating. That was the biggest eye opener and I now realize that by restricting myself from food entirely, I was able to really see what normally made me reach for food.
A little extreme I know, but effective.
current weight: 204.1
Fitness Minutes: (30,945) Posts: 10,181 10/26/11 8:38 P
Emotional and physical both. I don't think I ever have learned to have pleasure without food. I grew up in a family surrounded by food ( family grocery store and Mom was a great cook and showed her love through food).
We did not go places and do activities. We sat around and chatted and had meals. I was good at school but that did not get me moving. I'd do homework for hours. I was always tired and slept lots. Probably eating that much made me lethargic.
Depression set in at an early age. I never could figure out why I was always so tired--and I still am. If I am not being active, food gives me a break from boredom.
So at 64 years old, I am still fighting this battle. Chris
Fitness Minutes: (1,552) Posts: 6 10/3/11 10:32 A
I completely agree that we become dependent on foods (sometimes any thing will do) to deal with certain situations.
Example: I realized this last night (well this am rather while looking at myself disgustingly in the mirror) that when my husband leaves for the week (we own a trucking business so he is gone M-F), I reach for whatever food is available to shove in my face do deal with the sadness of missing him. Last night it was cookies that I had just bought. I knew I shouldn't be eating them, but did it anyway. This morning, of course woke up disgusted with myself for doing so. I know I have to find a different way to deal with the feelings of missing him everytime he leaves and food cannot be the answer. I used to find other ways to keep emotionally protected by using intimacy, or lack thereof, as my weapon of choice. If we were not intimate, then I wouldn't be so vulnerable=I wouldn't miss him so much. Worked, but just made me bitter and my marriage on the rocks. I don't recommend substituting one for the other, take it from my experience.
Gotta dig deep, I mean really deep to figure the addiction out. I am glad that I can write about this stuff and have others who "get it" and not think I'm a freak.
Love you guys!
current weight: 204.1
Posts: 166 9/27/11 12:52 P
I think all addictions begin emotionally but eventually become a physical need your brain craves. It is very easy for a person who is addicted to one substance to become dependent on another because of the similar way various substances interact in our brains. Neurochemically, trigger foods interact in our brains in the same way as narcotics or alcohol act in the brains of those with drug or alcohol addictions (of course, each drug has its own components that bind to our brains differently, but the pathways and sections affected are overall the same). So, once a person uses emotional reasons to overeat enough, their bodies become dependent on the food in certain situations... and then eventually can become dependent on the trigger foods all the time. From an emotional standpoint, perhaps this is so that we can actually prevent the feelings we are hiding from, rather than start to feel them then cover them up. I don't know, but I think there are definitely components of both emotional and physical reasons. Because of this, we cannot just stop eating certain foods - we must work at the emotional reasons behind our food choices so that we can stunt our bodies' physical responses to them.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. -- G.K. Chesterton
You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream. -- C.S. Lewis
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. -- Ghandi
current weight: 230.0
Posts: 121 9/26/11 7:25 P
For me, food is a way to soothe/numb myself. Anything that makes me feel good becomes an additiction.
"Be yourself. Life is precious as it is. All the elements for your happiness are already here. There is no need to run, strive, search or struggle. Just Be..." — Thich Nhat Hanh
910 Days since: Overeating
Fitness Minutes: (0) Posts: 613 5/16/11 11:59 P
I know mine is emotional. Which kind of sucks because I mean we have emotions all the time. So I am trying to find other ways to deal with the eating. I can eat because I happy or sad. Mostly sad though.
current weight: 200.0
Fitness Minutes: (215) Posts: 27 5/13/11 11:32 P
I'm not sure where my bingeing comes from. Emotional maybe? but more times than not, a craving just hits me....I get mouth hungry even if my belly is full. I have gotten to the point where I have been able to admit that I have a problem, and I can talk to myself before I binge to try and talk myself out of it, but then I just say, I want it so I'm going to have it. I know what I'm doing- almost like its ok because I'm acknowledging what I'm doing. Stupid I know. I guess my answer is, I don't know where it comes from, but I'm am trying to figure it out.
current weight: 122.0
Posts: 26 5/2/11 4:39 P
I know for certain that my bingeing started out as 100% emotional. Over the last few years, though, it became more of something done by habit, and gradually less and less gratifying. I stopped getting the release and numbness that always served me. I did an online (for a fee) program called Shrink Yourself (which I highly recommend) and I have progressed with better eating but still occasionally binged out of boredom, emotions, and sheer habit. Now I'm doing Weight Watchers, and having to stay within certain points, and having to write down and monitor every single thing I eat, is inspiring me not to binge at all anymore. Still, I only started WW last week, LOL, so I'll keep ya posted!!
current weight: 167.0
Posts: 23 1/24/11 12:03 P
I think my cause of addiction comes from the fact that I do not feel whole unless I have that feeling of being stuffed. Sounds crazy right?! EXample: I ate a healthy lunch, it took away the hunger feeling, I was satisfied but not overly full. A few minutes later a commercial came on t.v. for something we had in the fridge, immediately my brain said let's eat that. Because I had been journaling and watching out for the "triggers" I knew what it was and worked through it. But before I got to this point I would have ate it. I dont know if this stems from childhood or adulthood.
Pounds lost: 6.0
Posts: 3,780 11/9/10 10:01 A
Mine is a strong emotional pull. I will walk into the kitchen or pass through and grab. We have to leave my daughter's snacks out or she forgets and buys more or lets it expire. Which takes work for some of her stuff. Because it's out, it can be very hard not to grab the junk. I will also go to the kitchen just to eat. I have to stop and ask myself why. Which does not always work.
"The question isn't who is going to let me; It's who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand
Do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not. (Thomas Huxley)
current weight: 209.0
Posts: 3,055 9/4/10 1:23 A
This is just my view: It may start off as emotional as a way to survive the painful experiences of life (usually childhood). Eating certain foods can cause certain chemical reactions in our bodies (physical) and make us feel 'good' (emotional). When we are faced with a circumstance or experience that triggers the original painful emotions, we seek comfort in the food that made us feel good the first time. Repeated often enough, we find ourselves in an addictive cycle. We have a 'habit' that is emotional and physical and very difficult , but not impossible, to break.
Just one of the many minions!
"By perseverance the snail reached the ark" - Charles Spurgeon
Pounds lost: 57.4
Posts: 374 8/21/10 2:44 A
Often emotional: Why did I overeat? Stress, boredom, procrastination, tired? If you deprive your body of nutrients, however, then a "craving" might actually be your body telling you that it is deprived of badly needed nutrients, and that prolonged deprivation can turn into a session of overeating.
"Carefully consider the accuracy, appropriateness, & tone of any posts made to other members."
Fitness Minutes: (2,376) Posts: 132 4/28/10 9:39 P
Personally, I think it starts out as emotional but somewhere along the way, it becomes physical too.
"Failing" is only failure if you quit!
current weight: 433.5
Posts: 44 4/23/10 5:19 P
Where do you think your habits of overeating come from? Do you think it's emotional or physical?
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