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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
8/23/07 11:04 A

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It's amazing what they will eat if you can just get them to put it in their mouths the first couple of times. Like my GD and the shrimp I told you about. My younger GD eats just about everything and she is underweight on the doctor's charts! She loves salad, vegetables, just about anything they eat, she eats...including junk food. Her parents are very young. I'll have to work on their habits some more when I am there next month. Yeah right! Actually they don't eat that badly and my son is trying to get in better shape as he is hoping to get a job with the sheriff's dept. He has always been the skinny one in the family but has now put on a few pounds. HeeHee..maybe he has been cleaning Taylor's plate.

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PJENAN Posts: 53
8/23/07 9:54 A

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LOL at having Dad clean the kids plates! He does that. The idea of saving veggies is a good one!

Funny story - last night the kids both started off whining that they didn't like dinner. Once they actually tried it, they both ended up having 3 (small) helpings!

 
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BRILLSMOM's Photo BRILLSMOM Posts: 429
8/23/07 8:52 A

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To cut down on waste I save the kids uneaten (clean)veggies in a container in the freezer for when I make soup stock or little pot pies for them. Its surprising how quickly it fills up. I give them very small portions of meat as it is expensive to waste (and they can have more if they want it) and they almost never waste a carb! I laughed at letting dad clean their plates! My DH was doing that but has stopped due to his wanting to lose weight.

NOBODY WILL DO IT FOR ME!!!!

Short term goal: 200lbs
Short term reward = New CD




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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
8/22/07 6:18 P

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For the Dad that puts the portions on the plates, try giving the kids salad plates. then he will have less space to fill up with food. The one bite rule is good as it exposes the kids to new food that will eventually be 'old' foods. I also like the idea that you cook something you know the kids like along with some of the new things you are working into their diet.

If all of us had been fed small portions of healthy foods, we probably wouldn't need SP. I do understand the not liking to waste food but it is us, the adults, that need to see that is isn't happening by being sensible about what we are asking kids to eat. Oh yeah--don't clean their plates for them! Another way we gain weight. Let Dad do it, assuming he doesn't have a weight problem.

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PJENAN Posts: 53
8/21/07 1:35 P

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Brillsmom - That's a good reminder for me. I do most of the cooking so even when I try something new, I can make sure to have at least one thing that I know the kids will eat. That will prevent the fight over making them something else. Thanks!

 
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EARTHANGELSIS4U's Photo EARTHANGELSIS4U Posts: 89
8/21/07 12:23 P

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As far as the clean the whole plate rule, it's pretty much known in my house that if you don't eat what's on your plate then you won't get anything else until your next meal. I put the portions on my kids plates and since I have started this program I can say that the portions have gotten a lot smaller. And by making their portions smaller, they clean their whole plate more often. If they simply aren't hungry then their plate gets wrapped up and they can have it when they are hungry. I wish I would have had this program years ago. It's helped out my kids alot.

 
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BRILLSMOM's Photo BRILLSMOM Posts: 429
8/20/07 8:15 P

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I watched a some show about this awhile ago. I don't remember the name of it. The husband was in the clean plate club and the wife was willing to make different meals for the kids. They eventually comprimised that they would give the kids very small portions of the food that was prepared and the kids were expected to clean they're plates. If they wanted more they could have more but they didn't have to have more. She also decided to make sure at least one component of the food was something they would normally like and would no longer make separate meals. Definately both parents need to comprimise and agree to how meals will be handled so the kids don't get mixed messages. My husband and I have a one bite rule. Every food on the plate must be tried but everything does not have to be eaten. There is sometimes desert but there is no promise on that and it is usually yogurt, fruit, or whole grain baked items. There is also no other foods prepared and no other food until designated snack/meal times. It seems to work well for us.

NOBODY WILL DO IT FOR ME!!!!

Short term goal: 200lbs
Short term reward = New CD




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PJENAN Posts: 53
8/20/07 5:33 P

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This is a cause of arguments between me and my husband. My mom could have been a short order chef - she'd make us whatever we wanted, even if that meant she made 3 different meals. I don't think that's the right way to go, but I don't agree with my husband's "clean your plate" attitude. One problem is portion size. He fills their plates and gets mad if they don't eat it all because they're wasting food. I keep reminding him to put small portions on their plates. I also don't think they should ever be forced to eat if they're not hungry. They don't have to eat but if you don't have room in your tummy for dinner, you don't have room in your tummy for dessert. The other problem is the food itself. If it's something new and they really don't like it, I just ask that they try it. If they still don't like it, they don't have to eat it. If that's all we're having, I'll give them something else. My husband thinks they should eat what's put in front of them. I want to be able to experiment with different flavors and expose them to different types of food without turning dinner into a struggle. It's very frustrating. Does anybody have ideas about how to change a "clean your plate" attitude?

 
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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
8/17/07 2:02 A

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Maybe the problem is that we make too much of a big deal out of dessert so kids start thinking everything else is the stuff you have to eat to get the good stuff and then we are teaching them that sweets are the good stuff and eveything else is just to be tolerated as a way to get dessert. So I guess bribing them with dessert is defeating our goal of having them eat a balanced meal. I guess we need to accept that small children will eat well some days and not others and not make too much of a fuss about it unless they are seriously underweight. Just keep fixing those veggies and fruit and if they try them, eventually they may find they are pretty good stuff. I am for limiting sweets because I think kids hooked on the sweet taste and expect everything to be that way or it isn't 'good'.

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WITHSPIRIT's Photo WITHSPIRIT SparkPoints: (46,287)
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8/16/07 9:10 P

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My mom placed a timer on me because I would not eat in a timely way and generally did not want all my dinner. She said "eat in an hour or no dessert." I really wanted dessert too, lol!!! This helped me turn into a dessert craving maniac!!

I do think dessert bribes will backfire in a child that overeats to get to dessert. One way to combat this is to provide dessert along with the meal. This is easy when it is a fruit dessert, of course. If it was brownies, I think I would make a small serving of it that they could have as part of the meal.

Lisa

Everything you want is right there, just outside your comfort zone.


"Self love is the only weight loss aid that really works in the long run" -Jenny Craig

"Besides, is anything on your to-do list really more important than your health?" Mike Kramer :)


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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
8/11/07 2:39 A

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Ice cream can be healthy if you check the ingredients and yes it is high is fat and probably sugar but as long as you aren't letting them fill up on it, I think a treat is a treat. You can make healthier popsicles, cookies, muffins, etc. Check out the recipes on SP. We made No guilt Blueberry muffins the other night and my GD loved them...asked for them eveyday for breakfast until they were gone.
So you can see that it is our mind set about things being a treat or not that clouds our kids thinking. Note you used the word 'real' to describe what you have learned to be desserts as opposed to 'healthy' for the things you are thinking you should be giving them for dessert. There is so much power in our thinking. I think I am going to be successful getting my weight back where it should be because I don't think of this as a diet but a lifestyle change and I am free to choose to eat things I absolutely have to have but then I have to make up for some of those choices by exercise or choosing something else to eat at a later time. I ate a miniature Hershey bar tonight because I wanted it and I was a little hungry. My friend said 'oh no way am I eating that. It's not on my diet' but i knew that I had extra calories left from not stuffing myself all day and it was ok.
Sorry--kind of got off the subject!! But I really believe in this plan.

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PEGOONTELAY's Photo PEGOONTELAY Posts: 27
8/10/07 9:59 A

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Thanks, JFERGIE-
We have "healthy dessert" Sun/Tue/Thu nights: fruit or yogurt. The kids know this is all there is and they don't ask for other desserts. The rest of the week, we do let them have a real dessert: ice cream, cookies, popsicles or whatever is on hand.

"We must become the change we want to be." -Mahatma Gandhi

"Look for opportunities, not excuses." (Not sure who said it!)

SW: 158
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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
8/9/07 10:26 P

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I've been guilty of the dessert bribe so I was thinking about whether it is really a bad thing and an idea came to me. How about giving the dessert based on the bites of protein? Those tastes will lead to the food no longer being a strange food so the next time you put it on their plate, they may just eat it. As adults, we always need to remember serving sizes. It may not seem like they are eating much until you consider the size of their little stomachs. As long as the dessert is of the healthier variety, what 's the harm in a little bribe? How many of us would get up and go to work without the bribe of a pay check? Well ok I do now that I am retired but then I also have th option of staying home!

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PEGOONTELAY's Photo PEGOONTELAY Posts: 27
8/8/07 11:38 P

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I'm another clean plate kid, trying to break the cycle w/ my own kids... I insist they try everything on their plate, which usually consists of a protein, one or more fruit or veg and often a healthy carb like whole grain bread, organic pasta or brown rice. I have trouble getting both of my little ones to eat protein, so we ask our 3 y.o. to eat 3 bites and our 5 y.o. to eat 5 bites. I do bribe w/dessert... is that bad?

"We must become the change we want to be." -Mahatma Gandhi

"Look for opportunities, not excuses." (Not sure who said it!)

SW: 158
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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
8/8/07 9:09 P

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Parents always used to worry about their children eating enough. I remember my mom telling me how she worried that I wasn't eating enough and my pediatrician telling her to give me a balanced diet and I would (over time) eat well. Obviously I learned to eat enough(and more) to keep myself relatively healthy. Now the problem is learning to eat smaller portions and not eat food when I am bored, depressed, etc. instead of when I am hungry.

We worry about my GD eating habits a lot. She eats and eats and then she eats practically nothing for a few days. Since she started school on Monday she is barely eating any of her lunch and then today when she got home all she wants to do is eat! Could be she is reacting to having so many other things to do besides eat. I know she isn't going to strave to death so I guess we keep packing healthy food and giving her the same at home and all should be well.

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LAUREN419 Posts: 2,098
8/7/07 9:48 A

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i was told to clean my plate as a child too. i believe that it made it harder for me later in life to know when i was hungry and when i wasnt. i always thought i was hungry, even when i probably wasnt. i would be grounded or get in trouble if i didnt clean my plate at dinner. i think that children should be allowed to say i am full when they are full, and be given serving sizings that are possible for them to finish without overeating.

-LAUREN-


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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
8/7/07 1:53 A

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As parents and grandparents we need to provide healthy food for our children and GC and encourage them(not force) to at least try new things. I have to admit to being sneaky at times with my GD. We were having shrimp and she said she didn't like it, so her uncle told her it was chicken, which she loves. She ate all the shrimp and then we told her what it was so now she tells everyone she loves shrimp! We did the same thing to my older GD to get her to eat kidney beans.

As a mother, I learned my lesson about trying to force kids to eat things. We wer visiting friends and she served spinach to my kids. My daughter ate it but my son was refusing so I told him he had to try it. He did and then threw up in his plate. That was much more embarrassing for me and awful for him than if I had just let it go. Lesson learned for sure.

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SHRINKING_LILY's Photo SHRINKING_LILY Posts: 1,522
8/6/07 1:23 P

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That happened to me too, but later! For some odd reason when I was in my early teens the rule of not drinking with our meal was implemented. Which really sucked when there was something that got stuck in our throat! I thought it was just another weird idiosyncrasy of my stepmother., because none of my friends had that rule!

Let's stay steady on the course together.

Susan (Sue)

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W8WHITTILER's Photo W8WHITTILER Posts: 8,527
7/30/07 10:10 A

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I was raised with the clean your plate syndrome but it was taken one step further in my home, we were not allowed to have drink during dinner.
My parents wanted us to fill up on the food on our plate and not the liquid in our glass, and to this day I can eat a whole meal without taking one drink of beverage.
It drives my husband crazy, he does not understand how I can do. (Of course when we go out and the waitress is not quick to fill up his glass he does not mind then, because he knows he can have some of mine. LOL )
I have tried and tried to break myself of this, I last for a while and then I am right back to it.

I did not raise my children this way, I made sure they had fluid at the table.

"Don't worry about the day that was, or that will be, worry only about the day that is!"
(c) Patty Pauley



"Don't cry about what you should have or could have done yesterday, it's over it can't be changed; Just take today and Make It Your Best Day Ever!"





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BRILLSMOM's Photo BRILLSMOM Posts: 429
7/30/07 8:45 A

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Its amazing how a family meal which is supposed to be enjoyable can be so full of angst. As parents we try so hard to do right by our children, just as our parents did with us. Its all about the knowledge and information available at the time.
There was certainly incentive (through praise more than condemnation) to finish our meals growing up. We try to give our kids small portions and ask that they try one bite of everything. (I read that after about 8 tastings of a food it is no longer a "new" food and would be more accepted) We try to make sure we have healthy foods that the kids like for most meals with new things thrown in once in awhile. I know that I prefer foods that I like and chose them more often; so I have no problem letting my kids have foods they like. My husband and I switched to using lunch plates for ourselves. That way if we eat a plateful, it was a small serving to begin with. We also have a rule of no seconds on anything (favourites) unless the plate of food is pretty much cleared. That way they don't just eat carbs and leave the veg and protein behind. They usually don't want the seconds after that. Deserts are very common but we don't expect the kids plates to be cleaned to have some. If we figure the meal time is done then, it is time for "afters". Its usually fruit, yogurt, frozen yogurt, juice pops, or a small treat food.
Even with the best of intentions we find ourselves slipping into old fashioned patterns of encouraging eating. We reign eachother in and really try to keep things positive with the emphasis on family time.

NOBODY WILL DO IT FOR ME!!!!

Short term goal: 200lbs
Short term reward = New CD




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JFERGIE's Photo JFERGIE Posts: 1,261
7/28/07 12:41 P

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The clean plate club can be dangerous. My mom used to tell me that there were children straving in Africa (or wherever) and I should be grateful to have food to eat and to eat it all. I think that attitude came from living through the depression and not having enough to eat. Most of us don't have that problem anymore but we continue to eat everything on our plate because in the back of our minds we feel guilty about wasting food. I think the solution(partially) is to put less food on our plates in the first place. It seems in America we subscribe to the idea that bigger is better even when it comes to food. Super size it, right! Now we are paying the price with a high rates of obesity and now with our children becoming obese. It is up to us who are in the position to change our children and grandchildren lives and have the knowledge to change this cycle. This site could go a long way toward helping with this problem. I am trying to figure out how I can help in the school where I used to work and I now volunteer. This may be the thing I am supposed to do with the rest of my life.

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ASRIFFE's Photo ASRIFFE Posts: 6,579
7/27/07 3:43 P

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We were not required to finish our dinners, but we could say we were in the "Clean Plate Club" if we did.

My brother-in-law was told any food he left on his plate would burn around him in hell.

My sister and I like my parents' system better.

My husband asks, "What if you're a cannibal and you don't finish someone? Does that person have to go to hell, too, so he can burn around you? That hardly seems fair."

Oh, and btw, we don't make our children clean their plates.

-Annette

Edited by: ASRIFFE at: 7/27/2007 (15:45)
-Annette
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FRUITYFUL's Photo FRUITYFUL Posts: 1,009
7/27/07 2:50 P

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I don't think you're completely off base. It sounds like what you're doing is good. Don't let other people's opinions or way of doing things make you do anything different. I don't let other people force my children to do anything. When they go to my parents' homes to visit, I tell my parents not to force them to eat anything. They used to force me to eat, I certainly won't let them to do that to my children.

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NIK6499's Photo NIK6499 Posts: 153
7/27/07 2:46 P

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When we went to visit my brother and his family a couple months back they would force my daughter to eat a bite before she got up from the table.

Granted they didn't force her to clean her plate, that would be impossible, but they were intent on winning the food battle. Maybe I do things entirely wrong, but I set out her plate every meal. Small portion of protein, small portion of fruit and we try to put in some veggies too. If she eats it she does, if she doesn't, well she doesn't. I don't give her loads of snacks throughout the day just some rice cakes here and there (she thinks they are cookies) or some fruit.

I figure she's 2, she'll eat when she's hungry and there is no point in forcing the issue. Who knows maybe I'm completely off base lol

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MACRED206145's Photo MACRED206145 SparkPoints: (9,886)
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7/27/07 1:41 P

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It's funny, I don't remember being made to finish all of my food but my mom is kind of like that with my sister's kids. They eat like birds and it drives my mom crazy. My husband was made to finish all of his food though. It is something that he has tried to make our kids do but I took him aside and explained that it would only make them eat when they aren't really hungry and he has stopped. He just didn't know. I would rather waste food than to force my kids to eat something that their stomachs just can't hold. I do admit though, now that I think about it, that I did force my youngest to eat when she was on chemo. She was losing weight and I was afraid she would lose more so I tried to make her eat and I would let her eat things I normally wouldn't. There was a time when she would only eat Raman noodles, slim jims, and soda. Looking back I wish I'd have done things differently because now she struggles with her weight.

CW

To take it one day at a time. I hope to lose 2 pounds a week but I really want not to get upset with myself if I don't.

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THINNERNEWME Posts: 512
7/27/07 1:14 P

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My parents tried that too. They got away with it because I was their kid, but now I won't let them do that to my kids. Of course they tried and I had to throw a fit to get them to stop. My kids get over whelmed with too much on their plates. They serve small portions (normal kids portions) and if they want more they go back. If they don't want more they put their dish in the dishwasher and off they go. I do mandate they eat their quota of fruits and vegetables. I don't care which ones they eat, just that they eat some. I only buy fruits and vegetables they like and in season try some of the new ones. Then they decide if they like it or not. Usually one of them does so we have quite a variety available! During winter it just the every day ones that I buy!

Don't eat unless you are hungry!


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YAYAINVA Posts: 19
7/27/07 12:34 P

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I do not believe in the "clean plate syndrom" that is how children become obese. If a child is full and stops eating that's fine if you want them to "clean" their plate don't give them as much food. give them a tablespoon (the largerst silverware spoon) as servings and that should be suffiicient for them. If they don't eat a new fruit or new veggie one bite is fine at least they tried it.
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FRUITYFUL's Photo FRUITYFUL Posts: 1,009
7/27/07 12:27 P

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This is so familiar. I remember many battles with my parents as a kid, as I would sit at the table by myself after everyone was finished, with something I didn't like in front of me, getting colder and more gross by the minute.

I do the same as most of you. I insist that my kids try one bite of something new or good for them such as veggies and fruit. If they don't want to eat after that, I don't force them. I always tell them to stop when they're full and I don't make a big deal out of it if they waste a little food.

It's true what they say, that if a child has enough exposure to a food, say a bite here and there, eventually they will learn to eat it and even like it! That has happened with my youngest and her list of healthy foods that she likes is growing day by day!

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KRISLEEB's Photo KRISLEEB SparkPoints: (95,992)
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7/27/07 12:24 P

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A habit that I've had a hard time breaking hubby of is the Parental Clean the plates sydrome. You know, the kids didn't clear their plates and the "its so good I can't let it go to waste" thoughts so YOU, the parent, clear it for them. That's not good for HIS waistline!

~~ Kris ~~

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MAMASITAOF2's Photo MAMASITAOF2 SparkPoints: (24,962)
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7/27/07 12:17 P

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I'm a clean plate kid too. I remember the old "people are starving in China" thing. Also the "no dessert until you finish it all" thing. And of course as a kid you want to finish it all to have dessert. I have the rule of try one bite with my kids, because they will avoid veggies and fruit like the plague. So they have to try everything once. If they don't like it then don't eat it. I have fallen into the trap of eat it all though before-it is ingrained so hard to change.

Shannon

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KRISLEEB's Photo KRISLEEB SparkPoints: (95,992)
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7/27/07 12:06 P

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I don't remember having a clean the plate rule as a kid. The only rule I have for my kids is that if I serve them they eat what they want/can. But if THEY serve themself then they need to eat it all. They have learned to take smaller servings, they can always go back for more if they want. Usually it's only a problem with veggies so I can't complain.

~~ Kris ~~

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KGIRL2004's Photo KGIRL2004 SparkPoints: (26,423)
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7/27/07 11:52 A

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That sounds like what happened to me. My family made me sit at the table until I would finish my plate. I would sit there and have to eat cold food that I didn't even like. Then they would try the "just try it" thing. I would. I would never make my son eat if he wasn't hungry or didn't like the food. I have learned from my family's "mistakes". :)

~Kristi~
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SHRINKING_LILY's Photo SHRINKING_LILY Posts: 1,522
7/27/07 11:43 A

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I am a product of clean plate syndrome. As a very little girl I was told to clean my plate. I would end up sitting at the table for hours after everyone got up, until I finished my food. Then as a teen when I had learned to scarf my food down, they told me to quit eating so much. By then it was too late.

When I had children, I did not force them to finish their food. New food that was introduced, they had to take at least one bite, but weren't forced to eat it if they didn't like it.

Now my daughter does the same with my grandsons. Except she makes them take bites according to age. The youngest, who is 3 years old, is more of a snacker. He likes to eat a little bit at a time and loves fruit and OLIVES!

My daughter has to watch her weight, because she is more like me, but she is very good about working out and if a few pounds creep on , then she nips it in the bud right away.

My son, of course has always been active and now he works out. The only problem he has now, is he likes to drink alcohol, and I told him, that if he's not careful, eventually that will catch up to him.

Let's stay steady on the course together.

Susan (Sue)

www.facebook.com/susan.g.richter?ref
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