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BISHOODLE's Photo BISHOODLE Posts: 432
8/31/08 9:48 P

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Great Chanect. I like that evict the fat. Smile. Then rejoice. Have a wonerfully happy day. Spring is here. I love spring. A good time to evict the fat that was acumulated over winter if any. Bye.

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CHANETC's Photo CHANETC SparkPoints: (57,984)
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8/31/08 12:17 A

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I like this idea of mourning and having a serious discussion with one's fat. It is like a guest that we invited home from a restaurant and they never left. They decided to set up housekeeping, had children, and started expanding your house, but not in a very tasteful way (at least by our so un-Rubenesque standards). Fat is really alien to us and has a life and goals of its own. At some point it tries to crowd us out. It is time that I had the eviction discussion. If you lose money, you hope to find it, but if you evict an unwelcome tenant who is no longer paying rent, you never want to see them again. Don't lose fat, evict it!
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"If you are not busy being born, you are busy dying." --Bob Dylan
"Obstacles are those things we see when we take our eyes off our goals."
"If we don't like where we are, change it! We are not trees."
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity."
-- Louis Pasteur, Chemist and Microbiologist

"Exercise vigorously & stop eating crap." www.concept2.com chanetc.vox.com/


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MINICOOPER452's Photo MINICOOPER452 SparkPoints: (184,691)
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8/30/08 1:20 P

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I LOVE the idea of "talking to my fat" and "mourning". Why didn't somebody tell me this sooner? I've lost and gained at least one of me over the last 20 years and I could never figure out why I don't keep going. I've always had excuses like, "my BP is fine, so I'm fine", "the doc isn't concerned", "I'm happy with who I am". Well, I am happy with who I am, but I could be happier and healthier without "1/2 of me". I think I'm gonna take my fat out for a walk today and give it a serious talkin' to and I'm not kidding. Thanks for the great suggestions and support!
clc

MiniCoop aka: MamaCoop aka: Carla
Dum Spiro, Spero: "While I breathe, I hope"
"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change ... the courage to change the one I can ... and the wisdom to know it's me."
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MARELCO's Photo MARELCO SparkPoints: (0)
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8/27/08 8:18 A

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I posted on my blog about my fear of losing weight. I lose to a point and then quit. Somebody commented that you must go through the stages of mourning. That helped me more than anythng. If I lose weight, I can no longer hide behind this shield of fat. I will be exposed to the world as I really am. I am losing my shield and that is hard. I want to lose wieght, but not my shield. Can I stand on my own two feet without a shield? She sited a book on the subject.

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BISHOODLE's Photo BISHOODLE Posts: 432
8/26/08 11:00 P

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On the weekend I was talking to this very large lady and I said to her I was trying to lose weight she said back to me. If you try to lose weight you will gain it back again. Her reply was you must release your weight. Wow that suddenly made a lot of sense to me.
When you lose something you always find it again, when you release it is gone for good. So happy releasing everyone.

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PATRICESENA's Photo PATRICESENA SparkPoints: (0)
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8/26/08 11:58 A

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Years ago I had to learn to say no to others, in all kinds of situations. Food was a big one, learning to please/take care of myself was really a big deal. Most of the time I thought of them, didn't want to upset them, etc, etc. Now I know by taking care of me at least one person is happy/healthy! Wishing you the best!



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DKDOULOS's Photo DKDOULOS Posts: 35
8/26/08 11:22 A

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You are all very wise in your counsel -- thank you. The idea of taking personal responsibility for my lifestyle hits me the hardest and is probably what I most need to hear. I've been struggling with it for a long time. I've been blaming my husband, blaming the church, blaming eating out and not looking at my role in it. I chose to eat what was put in front of me, instead of making better choices.

I like the idea of getting prepared salad fixings to make salads at home. It's really such an obvious thing to do but I missed it.

I have often been afraid to succeed and usually I have done things to sabotage myself. I will look up those Urals -- maybe they can help me understand myself a little better.

I'd love to hear more perspectives. Anyone?

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DEMURALIST's Photo DEMURALIST SparkPoints: (21,196)
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8/26/08 8:43 A

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Something I have come to believe is that our bodies are amazing pieces of machinery. That every thing has a postive intent. Meaning, we keep that fat around because it does something for us, something positive. For some it makes them feel safe because they assume that it makes them unattractive and so they will receive no unwanted attentions.

For me it was more like what Shannon426 said. If I lose all the weight, I previously believed that in order to maintain that loss I would have to effectively remain on a diet. Past experience has shown that when I reached my goal, and stopped dieting that I gained the weight back and then some.
I would have to forever give up the chance of eating like a 'normal' person.

So I had a conversation with my fat. "Thank you very much, but I have now figured out that DIEting doesn't work, and am teaching myself how to eat like a 'normal' person, so you see I don't need you anymore."

I think I need to slowly change those beliefs that allow or expect the fat to hang on. Of course, I gotta figure out what they are first! One thing I have figured out though is that DIEts do not work, the harder I try to control what I can and can't eat, and which type of exercise I have to do, the harder my body fights back. Now I have started to listen to it. Oddly enough, the body knows what it needs.

Chris
54 y.o. Wife and Mother of 2 (19 and 17), living in Middle Tennessee.


You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?"
BOB MOAWAD





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SHANNON426's Photo SHANNON426 Posts: 20
8/26/08 1:34 A

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I am so glad that you posted this! I only identified that my biggest problem was fear of success within the past 2-3 months. All of this time I thought it was fear of failure, but really it's the opposite.

I am still learning about fear of success (in general, within myself, what experts advise, etc) but I found that the root seems to be fears associated with what we want to achieve. It's crazy to think, huh? I wanted to be thin my whole life, how could I possibly be afraid of something I wanted for SO long? But with goals come the realization that things might change, and most people are comfortable with what they know... they know they can handle it anyhow.

For me, obtaining my weight loss goal came with fear of giving up foods I like, TV shows I used to occupy my time with, issues developing in my relationship since my husband can't be as physically active as I can, possible divorce, etc.

If we are aiming for a goal, we are hoping to change something in our life. With that change come other possible changes. The only thing I can suggest is to acknowledge what associated changes you fear, realistically assess them and figure out how you will adjust if that happens. You need to trust in your skills and realize that they will grow and adapt with you as you progress to your goal. What might scare you now may be a piece of cake when you actually have to deal with it later. Your skills adapt and grow as you progress towards your goal. Trust yourself and don't compromise your goals! They are your goals and your goals alone, and you have every right to achieve them in whatever way works for you, at whatever pace works for you.

If you have never read this quote, this is one of my favorites:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

I also found these links you might find interesting. One explains the "why" behind fear of success. The other has some suggestions on how to move past it.

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.c
fm/how_fear_of_success_works

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.c
fm/overcoming_fear_of_success

I also highly recommend listening to the Jillian Michaels 8/17 podcast through iTunes (through KFI radio station's Sunday podcasts).

Good luck!

Edited by: SHANNON426 at: 8/26/2008 (01:33)
We attract hearts by the qualities we display; we retain them by the qualities we possess. ***Jean Baptiste Antoine Suard***


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CHANETC's Photo CHANETC SparkPoints: (57,984)
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8/25/08 11:56 P

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I heard someone who is a physical trainer and a body builder say that we shouldn't set "outcome" goals, but only "process" goals. It is okay to set a date to achieve an objective, but we have to realized that we can't control outcomes. If we set a goal to exercise every day or six out of seven days, then we only have to worry about one day at a time. It is good to have a goal to ride a bike and take an adventure tour. Did you know that there are Tandem Bike Tours?

Another problem is the food choices that we make. Sometimes because SP has calorie counters and sets food goals in terms of calories consumed, the message is that calories is the only thing that counts. It is more than this. Some foods are worse than others. The reason for this is that competitive athletes can eat almost anything when they are working out 3 or 4 hours a day, but that doesn't apply to the rest of us. Cakes, muffins, pies, and all ice creams are all made with refined flour and/or sugar. These have a high glycemic index, meaning that they are digested quickly and stored on our bodies as fat. You need to educate yourself about nutrition and find a healthy diet to follow. I shop at Trader Joe's and Von's and buy their shredded cabbage, carrots, broccoli, and tomatoes so that making a salad is easy. I just mixed the prepared vegetables and add a dressing. I also eat a lot of canned fish: salmon, sardines, and tuna on top of the salad. I have high protein sprouted bread that I can add almond butter and fruit spread for a snack. I drink low sodium V-8 with ground flax seed for the benefit of Omega-3 fats which is also one of the reasons that I eat wild caught fish, either fresh or in cans. For a treat, I eat non-fat yogurt, frozen blue berries, and sucralose. It is important that you have healthy foods in your house and plan to have these as a snack every 2-3 hours so that you are never desperately hungry.

You also need to take personal responsibility for everything that you eat. You can choose to throw all left over desserts away that your husband brings home. People mean well when they make these things, because so many people confuse food with love. Food is nourishment not love. You can accept their gift of food, but you don't have to eat it. Whether your husband has a weight problem or not doesn't mean that it is healthy to eat sugary foods.

When we are feeling deprived because we are "dieting" then we feel sorry for ourselves and reward ourselves with a bag of cookies or a bag of chips. It is important to begin a new lifestyle and you can't do this all at once. It is done incrementally. Don't over do exercise or don't over do deprivation either. If we lose weight slowly then our skin can reduce in size along with our bodies. When we lose weight too quickly, our skin just hangs on us.

Good luck on your process goals!
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Edited by: CHANETC at: 8/26/2008 (02:13)
"If you are not busy being born, you are busy dying." --Bob Dylan
"Obstacles are those things we see when we take our eyes off our goals."
"If we don't like where we are, change it! We are not trees."
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity."
-- Louis Pasteur, Chemist and Microbiologist

"Exercise vigorously & stop eating crap." www.concept2.com chanetc.vox.com/


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DKDOULOS's Photo DKDOULOS Posts: 35
8/25/08 8:19 P

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This evening I was talking to a friend who is also struggling with weight issues. She pointed out that the last time I visited her, I bragged about losing 6 pounds and then I went out and bought a bag of cookies! There seems to be something inside of me that yanks back on the leash whenever I lose weight so that I become afraid (I think) and start overeating. Is change really so threatening?

Does anyone else experience this? What do you do about it?

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