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KLC1925's Photo KLC1925 Posts: 208
1/10/11 11:57 A

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I think it is great that he wants to do those things. My son's father has not been to anything in 6 years and does not care to be involved in my son's everyday life. Maybe you guys can take turns going to her appointments.

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KITTY_WHO's Photo KITTY_WHO Posts: 234
1/9/11 8:44 A

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Just to say every family (single or otherwise) will do things differently. It sounds like he is trying to make up for lost time. I will tell you how we do it, my son is 7. I do all the school stuff because his dad needs to be at work and some things are just better when there is one voice, not 2 contradicting each other, lol. I give him any paperwork from it and he copies it. He comes to the Christmas show and other special events. Health stuff, well, my son has special needs but I do the basic things like the dentist or whatever and his dad will come too for visits to the Paediatrician or any other "big" things. HTH.

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MARGOTHD11's Photo MARGOTHD11 Posts: 720
1/3/11 9:57 A

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I'm not a single mom, but I was raised by one... and I'll tell you from a daughter's stand-point, I wish she had let our father into our lives more. It caused a lot of anger and frustration growing up.

Even the small things count. If he wants to be involved, and your daughter is okay with it, then I would suggest allowing it. Unless of course something goes awry.

My biggest regret is not being able to spend more time with my dad when I was younger.

www.whitehotoven.com

The only thing instant in life is coffee.


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SUGARSMOM2 SparkPoints: (142,260)
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12/9/10 6:26 P

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my daughter is a single parent had two former husbands . they both could not have care less to have anything to do with the children .Your problem I can see how this might be a problem . He has to step back somewhat . It must be nice though to have his financial support . both of our exes where deadbeats that could not care if their children had food or clothes ... Is his mental health alright ? good luck to you .

sugarsmom2 donna wva


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MYBULLDOGS's Photo MYBULLDOGS Posts: 7,994
12/9/10 6:21 P

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A child needs both parents involved in her life. The parents desires are secondary. The childs needs should always be primary.

good luck

IMJUSTFLUFFY's Photo IMJUSTFLUFFY Posts: 3,909
12/9/10 11:22 A

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I think it's admirable that he is trying to "make up lost time" but there should be boundaries.
Good luck.
Rhonda

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

How poor are they that have not patience!
What wound did ever heal but by degrees?
~William Shakespeare, Othello, 1604


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TLPSR523's Photo TLPSR523 SparkPoints: (0)
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12/9/10 10:53 A

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Question? What does your daughter think of all of this? Is she willing to share everything? I agree, all thing don't need to be attended since he has been out of the picture for so long BUT, it is admirable that he wants to be involved now. See what your daughter thinks about it. Then make your decision based on that and on how you feel.
If he is paying his support and child care thats another thing to look at. There are a lot of angles there. You have to try and figure them out.
Good luck in your decision.

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MELISSA8376's Photo MELISSA8376 SparkPoints: (10,789)
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12/9/10 9:10 A

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I am a single parent, my daughter is 13. Her father moved into our town about 1.5 years ago. He wants to get involved in everything. I mean everything. He wants to go to everything, and while him wanting to be involved is good I think it is unnecessary for him to go to some things. Like Parent teacher conferences (she gets all A's and a few B's), her braces consult, her doctor visits, and dental visits. I think those things he can sit out. Unless there is something alarming. Parents who are together don't go to all those things together do they? How do other separated parents do those appointments?

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