Tonight's Codependency Lesson was eye opening!
I had several people tell me that they had always thought the only people who were Codependent were those who were involved with an alcoholic.
Codependency is more of an umbrella struggle.
The Ten Traits of a Codependent
(from the book Love is a Choice)
1. The codependent is driven by one or more compulsions.
2. The codependent is bound and often tormented by the way things were in the dysfunctional family of origin.
3. The codependent’s self-esteem (and, frequently, maturity) is very low.
4. A codependent is certain his or her happiness hinges on others.
5. Conversely, a codependent feels inordinately responsible for others.
6. The codependent’s relationship with a spouse or significant other person (SOP) is marred by a damaging, unstable lack of balance between dependence and independence.
7. The codependent is a master of denial and repression.
8. The codependent worries about things he or she can’t change and may well try to change them.
9. A codependent’s life is punctuated by extremes.
10. A codependent is constantly looking for the something that is missing or lacking in life.
Patterns in Codependency
What is Codependency?
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.
They may be particularly helpful to newcomers as they begin to understand codependency and may aid those who have been in recovery a while to determine what traits still need attention and transformation.
•I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
•I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
•I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.
Low Self Esteem Patterns:
•I have difficulty making decisions.
•I judge everything I think, say, or do harshly, as never “good enough.”
•I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
•I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
•I value other’s approval of my thinking, feelings, and behaviors over my own.
•I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
•I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger.
•I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
•I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
•I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am often afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
•I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
•I accept sex when I want love.
•I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
•I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel.
•I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
•I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
•I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
•I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
•I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with others.
Edited by: CANICE at: 10/11/2013 (00:54)
Canice, rhymes with Denise, no "D" in Canice
Sweet Home AlaBAMA ~ Central Time Zone ~
Turquoise Titans Fall into Fitness 2013 BLC
Gluten-Free & Sugar-Free Since 31 October, 2011
You can quote me on this:
NOTHING Tastes As Good As Healthy FEELS!
| current weight: 171.6