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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,849
2/11/10 12:41 A

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Wonderful witness to the power of love and forgiveness!

And a great reminder that love is a choice, not necessarily a feeling, as society would have us believe.

cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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CGREEN717's Photo CGREEN717 Posts: 1,090
2/10/10 3:58 P

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I'm no expert, but I will tell you this much, Love has the power to conquer anything.
My husband and I have a long history together. I cheated on him several times throughout the years!! I even left him and married two other men in the course of our relationship. Needless to say I killed his trust in me many times over. I am finally married to him and have no desire to even look at other men let alone wander. I also value him so much more than words can ever express. I am forever grateful that he forgave me of my past and our bond is so much stronger than words can ever express. Yes, there are times when that trust issue flares up, but I know I caused it and accept it and prove to him that he has nothing to worry about.
So, if two people love each other and WANT to save their marriage they can do it. My husband states that "he has the right to choose whether or not he is going to trust me." Love always trusts.

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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,849
2/3/10 12:01 A

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May God guide you both and offer you the peace only He can give.

cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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EDITTHESADPARTS's Photo EDITTHESADPARTS Posts: 49
2/2/10 9:27 P

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Thank you all so much! It's amazing to hear so many people refer to the importance of God...I've been attending mass with my parents recently and it has been so nice. I'm still completely devastated and unsure of what lies ahead, but I do trust that God will help to guide me in the right direction and to make the best decision for my little girls. It's also nice to hear so many people have hope...hope is nice right now.


"If you always think like you've always thought you'll always do what you've always done. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!"


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SHELLY_509's Photo SHELLY_509 Posts: 109
2/1/10 9:32 A

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Marriages have survived affairs but it is not an easy road. It takes a lot of hard work on both sides. With Gods help you can probably do it but you both will need to put it in Gods hands. Without God the forgiveness will be really hard and the temptations might be to hard to resist but if you have God in your lives then anything is possiable.

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NYXWOLFWALKER's Photo NYXWOLFWALKER SparkPoints: (137,734)
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1/30/10 5:07 P

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depends on how much your trust was broken to start with, if he is actually willing to give it a go and you've agreed that its anything by a ploy or open relationship then maybe talking to a therapist who might be able to help the both of you communicate and come to an understanding.

I know for myself, it wouldn't be an issue if my hubby had a fling with another because I trust him to play safe and to tell me about it should it take place, and if he didn't well I'd deal with it if it happened.

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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (59,059)
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1/30/10 2:16 P

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I agree with CJ about having a difficult time with the trust issue. I really can't give you any advice either on what to do but as for me could I ever trust him again the answer would be no. I pray God sees you through and gives you the answer you need.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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DPRIM1's Photo DPRIM1 Posts: 919
1/30/10 9:20 A

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If your both willing but I will tell you you do neeed a good councelor and a strong relationship with Jesus the Christ, thru Him anything is possible, I will pray for you and your family!

Debbie
Be still and know that I Am God! Psm 46:10



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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,849
1/30/10 4:33 A

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I'm so sorry, TNABIC, that you have to deal with this. How devastating! Trust is so important to a relationship and when that is shattered, it is incredibly difficult to build it up again.

To answer your question, I believe it is possible to re-build the relationship again, as I have heard of it happening, but unfortunately I have no suggestions about how to do that. The previous poster's idea to see a counsellor together is probably a sound one.

This is outside my realm of expertise.

I wish you and your husband all the best in working through this.

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cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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RETIREDAT60's Photo RETIREDAT60 Posts: 1,797
1/29/10 9:48 P

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I think the answer depends a great deal on the two people involved. I would suggest both of you talk to a counselor who can help you work through the issues. I was willing to stay married to my ex despite his affair if he was willing to work with me -- give up his girlfriend, work to re-establish my trust and our relationship. But, he was not willing to do either. Eventually we split after being married for over 35 years. Fortunately, I found a wonderful man who I married a few years ago. My regret was that I didn't give up sooner on my ex -- it really takes two to make reconciliation possible. And, he was not willing.

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EDITTHESADPARTS's Photo EDITTHESADPARTS Posts: 49
1/29/10 9:40 P

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My husband had an affair. It wasn't just one time, it was over a period of 4 months. It was 1.5 years ago and I always had more than a strong suspicion of it, but now he finally came clean and we're dealing with it. So I ask, can marriage survive an affair?

"If you always think like you've always thought you'll always do what you've always done. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!"


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