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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,856
12/27/09 12:51 A

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Me, too, me too. Although luckily I do get to see my little nieces and nephews sometimes.

I agree that discipline is very important. And the true meaning of the word comes from 'disciple'. Many people believe it just means punishment, when it is really more akin to 'teach'.

cj


Edited by: CJBAGGINS at: 12/27/2009 (00:51)
God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
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Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
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SAMODER's Photo SAMODER Posts: 11,838
12/26/09 10:48 A

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I didn't take offense at spanking. I think there is a time and a place - both require self-control on the parent's part. I just felt at times a swat on the butt or hand showed that doing that particular thing would hurt - i.e. touching something hot or electrical.

AS a teacher, I see that discipline is so important - notice I used the word discipline, not punishment. I see too many children who have little self-control or sense of personal responsibility.

I think time outs work well when the child knows why they were put there and learned something by being removed from the situation.

I have been away from small children so long that I feel out of the loop...


You don't stop laughing. because you grow old, you grow old. because you stop laughing!


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,856
12/24/09 12:00 P

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Hahahaha. I think many teachers were once talkers in school, Sam! Their talkativeness just needed to be 'channeled', lol.

Perry - I like how you said it, actually, well said.

I remember doing that with banging, too, with my toddlers. They'd bang the glass cabinet with all my special ornaments in it. I figured I either needed to curb the banging, or move the ornaments. I tried giving them a chair with a pillow on it, or pointing to the carpeted floor and letting them know they could bang that instead. It worked and I never had to move my ornaments!

Ah, yes, the good old days when I had answers to my parenting 'crises'. *sigh* Teenagers. Tougher sometimes.

cj
eta - and by the way, Sam, it wasn't the choice of spanking that I objected to in the others who were commenting on Perry's article, but the way they described some of their situations. One person mentioned that her child was humiliated when she put her in time out and that that was a good thing. I just cringed when I read it. I make tons of mistakes as a parent, but I hope I don't often stoop to using intimidation and humiliation as a common tool in my parenting tool box.

Edited by: CJBAGGINS at: 12/24/2009 (12:03)
God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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SAMODER's Photo SAMODER Posts: 11,838
12/24/09 11:14 A

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I agree....

As a teacher I often tell parents that while I don't want students to talk during class - I had the same problem in school. Guess what I do almost all day now - talk...

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CHEFPERK's Photo CHEFPERK Posts: 1,090
12/24/09 2:16 A

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CJ,

I like that!

I think too often we just say "that's bad!" when what we really mean is "that's not appropriate in this time and place."

-Perry


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,856
12/24/09 1:25 A

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Oooh, I like the jumping idea!
Whenever my kids were jumping on the couch or beds, I'd tell them to go to the 'jumping chair' in the basement - worked like a charm, they didn't take long to get the hang of it; jumping wasn't bad, where they jumped could be a problem.

cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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SAMODER's Photo SAMODER Posts: 11,838
12/24/09 12:57 A

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I think it depends on what type of behavior you are talking about.

My son is now 24, so it's been a looong time. Anyway, when his misbehavior was due to being "hyper", I had him jump on a runner's trampoline for 5 minutes rather than sitting in time out for 5 minutes.

At times I did use a smack on the hand when it was a dangerous situation, or a swat on the bottom.

I also used time outs. It totally depended on the behavior.

Sam

You don't stop laughing. because you grow old, you grow old. because you stop laughing!


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,856
12/23/09 6:50 P

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Done!
No problem.

I get the impression that my response is 'radical' as some commenters favour spanking and rigid time outs.

*sigh*
At least it puts another opinion out there.

cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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CHEFPERK's Photo CHEFPERK Posts: 1,090
12/23/09 5:38 P

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CJ,

Great response! I've used the "sit & hold" method myself!

Could you do me a huge favor and post your comment on my Examiner page (original link)? I've really like my readers to see your thoughts!

Thanks,

-Perry
www.pdxdads.com

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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,856
12/23/09 5:05 P

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I would agree with Chidekel - "Time-out is misunderstood and misused, but used correctly, it can be an effective tool to change behavior."

I've seen it used with disastrous results, and seen it used effectively.

When my son went through a biting/hitting stage in toddlerhood, we found that immediate removal from the situation helped immensely. However, at other times, my children responded better to a 'time-in', wherein they were not separated form me, but I removed them from a situation and sat and held them tightly but gently until they calmed down. Sometimes, especially with sensitive children, being separated from their primary caregiver (even for a short time) is too traumatic, and they respond with more misbehaviour in future.

Anyone else? Opinions? Ideas? Fruit thrown at me?

cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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CHEFPERK's Photo CHEFPERK Posts: 1,090
12/23/09 4:17 P

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Hey Sparkers,

I'm interested in your opinions on this subject.

Here's the article:

Time-outs: effective discipline or waste of time? - tinyurl.com/ycbevjz

Thanks,

-Perry

Perry P. Perkins
Freelance Writer/Editor
Portland Fatherhood Examiner
www.pdxdads.com

Website: http://www.perryperkinsbooks.com
Twitter: PerksBooks
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/yjqwj3u

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