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TOPIC:   Husband not supporting me 


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SAMODER
SAMODER's Photo Posts: 11,838
12/20/09 9:44 P

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Your husband has the problem with insecurity. You have to do what is healthy for you. Keep doing what you need to, but reassure him that you love him.

Sam

You don't stop laughing. because you grow old, you grow old. because you stop laughing!


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CJBAGGINS
CJBAGGINS's Photo Posts: 30,003
12/17/09 6:34 P

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Ashley - so sorry that you feel like you have no support for your healthy lifestyle from your husband. How frustrating and upsetting for you! It would be so much easier if those around us were in full support and did all the right things to help us meet our goals. The truth is, though, that they don't always and we have to find the support elsewhere. Your sparkfriends and sparkteams are a good place to start, but also your other family members, or friends in 'real life' may be able to offer the encouragement and support you need to make it this time.

Here are a couple of articles about support and motivation:
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_ar
ticles.asp?id=579


www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_art
icles.asp?id=371


Remember that honest communication is always best - if you don't think he understands, perhaps you have to find a way to explain it to him so he does 'get' how important this is to you.

I wish you all the best in finding the support you need or in helping your husband to understand why this is important to you.
Good luck!

cj

Edited by: CJBAGGINS at: 12/17/2009 (18:35)
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
Barbara Walters

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9


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JCEDIT89
JCEDIT89's Photo SparkPoints: (158,925)
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12/17/09 6:31 P

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It's so hard when there is little to no support at home for your efforts. I often wonder if husbands feel threatened when their wives lose weight. Do the men feel that they will also be asked to lose weight or get healthier? I believe this is how my husband thinks. He has actually gained more weight while I've been losing mine.

It may help to change your mind-set a bit. Only you can control what you do and eat. Only you can choose to exercise or not. I don't expect my family to change their eating or exercise habits for me. (It would be really great if they did!) So I just forge ahead on my own. If we eat out, I find something on the menu that fits into my food plan. I will also only eat half to one third of what is served to me. When I shop or prepare meals at home (and yes, I do most of it), then I make sure there is something for everyone. I don't expect anyone to eat like me.

This can create a fair amount of work, but it is so worth it. I will never go back to being my old size. My husband and I have been thin together and big together. This is the first time in over 30 years together that we are of different 'sizes'. We'll survive this too.

"You cannot accept another with a hateful heart. You cannot hear the other with a closed mind. You cannot embrace with closed arms. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."
--Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi


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MSTIGGERFAN
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12/17/09 9:34 A

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I had my third child in June and I have still yet to get back into losing. I just haven't had the motivation I need and hubby works so much that I pretty much take care of everything and don't have the time to eat properly like I should. I hope to get myself refreshed after the first of the year and get back into losing myself. The holidays are always the hardest for me. My hubby also says things like that as well but I have to determine to myself that I will lose anyway. Good luck and let me know if I can help.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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FOOTEAN
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12/17/09 8:33 A

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Hey everybody. I joined this team awhile ago but just now starting to get back on the wagon.

Recetnly I've realized that my husband is not supportive AT all with my weight loss. I had our second daughter in July. By Sept. I'd lost 30 pounds and was finally starting to love myself. Then my husband started making comments about me loseing weight and he was happy with me so he didn't understand why I kept trying to lose the weight. So slowly I started packing back on the pounds and now close to being at my heavest weight again. He has made comments about how he dosen't like me "skinny" because he is scared that I will find somebody else. That is totally not the case. I want to lose the weight for ME and nobody else.

Any ideas on how I can get him to start supporting me? It makes it really hard to keep trying when I have no motivation at home.

*Ashley*

Goal: 240 by 2/14/10


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