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MEL_UNRAU's Photo MEL_UNRAU SparkPoints: (104,690)
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6/16/09 9:48 A

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If you have had a bad experience in therapy before, I encourage you to try again. I have long suffered with clinical depression and take medication for it. And, despite the fact that I know I am much better when on meds, I still don't like taking them, so I totally get the not wanting to be on medication side. I recently decided to get myself into some therapy again. At first, it was awful! We have moved since the last time I was in therapy, so I couldn't go back and see my wonderful old therapist. The first therapist made me miserable. He told me everything was my fault, then spent 20 of our 45 minutes trying to convince me that my mother (who is seriously mentally ill) had been incorrectly diagnosed and when addressing my eating disorder told me I was fat because I put creamer in my coffee. I walked out of his office on him, told him that he was rude, wrong, and that I would not be returning. It took several weeks to get up the courage to try again, but I did some phone interviews and tried again. I am doing great. There are still issues... but my husband notices how much happier I am than when I just rely on the medication. I have made real strides in dealing with my eating disorder. I have lost 10 lbs in the 8 weeks since starting therapy. Which is huge for me. I can work my ass off and still only lose about 2lbs a month. Because of that previously mentioned eating disorder. I know for me, right now, that therapy is more than 60% of my recovery. I both look forward to and dread that weekly time, but finding a therapist who is non-judgemental, supportive and smart is really important. Finding someone to talk to, who knows what they are talking about, can really help. Even if you aren't clinically depressed. I encourage you to find a therapist, MSW, or trained pastor to talk with and begin to work through the issues.

Imperfection is important. If we were all perfect, then there would be no such thing as growth, and everyone would be extremely boring, which is, paradoxically, not that perfect.-- Dr. Matt

Baltimore Running Festival Marathon Finisher. 5:55:33


JERSEYGIRL318's Photo JERSEYGIRL318 SparkPoints: (107,824)
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6/16/09 8:08 A

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Sometimes finding the right doctor is key. I have two woment dr's who are very understanding. I have had a full hysterectomy so I take HRT and I also take zoloft to help with the side effect of the depression. It has helped "clear" my mind of the anxiety and anxiousness I used to have. It is not always right for everyone but the right dr can help you understand if you are truly a candidate.
St Johns Wort is an herbal supplement that may also help you. But herbals can work against anyother medication you may be taking.?
If you find your mood swings and anger worse only during pre-period than maybe you need to read more about ... I can't think of the name ... the pms that has anger associated with it.... I will edit when I find the right name I am looking for.
Good Luck and don't give up!

Jerseygirl318
Always leave enough room in your LIFE to do something that makes you happy, satisfied or even joyous.
Paul Hawken...

Goals!
Walk a 5K faster than 45 minutes!
Run a 5K!
Control my eating!







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DEEDEE_BOO's Photo DEEDEE_BOO Posts: 678
6/15/09 10:04 A

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I was depressed once and I vowed to never go there again. It made me stronger in some ways and weaker in other ways. I am stronger to know I will not go there, I know to keep myself busy if I ever get hurt like that again like find a new hobby to keep my mind of the pain and hurt. I am easier to tear up now when someone in the family starts things so that's my weaker point. Now having a bad day is different I think we all have those from time to time. My mom taught me to watch out for strangers but a stranger never has hurt me is has been family. The family that was tearing me apart has moved out of state and now all I hear is how great I am . Thank goodness for small blessings!

MRZMEDINA's Photo MRZMEDINA SparkPoints: (4,150)
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6/14/09 11:09 A

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I no longer invite depression into my life that's what got me the lbs in the 1st place.

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KHARAHLYN's Photo KHARAHLYN SparkPoints: (0)
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6/13/09 5:00 P

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CJ is very right. You can not be an effective _________ (fill in the blank) without first meeting your own needs. I do hope you find someone with whom you can "click" who will help you to deal with whatever situation.

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.

*************

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, breathe, and just hold on till the ride stops...

*************

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than others think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 31,792
6/13/09 1:12 P

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Tina - two things...

One - you would probably discover that you are normal. NORMAL. We all have things that we do that are not the best things. I, too, yell and get too angry at those around me and am still working on that. Spending more time in prayer and meditation helps me there.

Two - it sometimes takes time to find a counsellor or therapist that 'fits' well. It is well worth the time to find the best one for you, though.

Oh. And also, from personal experience and from working with other mothers of young children as a breastfeeding counsellor, I know that when 'Mom's' needs are not being met, it is harder for her to meet everyone else's.

Just as in an emergency situation on an airplane, when an adult flying with children is supposed to secure the emergency oxygen mask on themselves first, so too, with our lives do we need to make sure our needs are met first, so as to meet the needs of those around us.

Now, obviously, when we have tiny children (infants or young toddlers) their needs, understandably have to be seen to first in some cases as we are adults and can deal with delayed gratification. But, overall, we have to makes sure we are eating properly, getting enough sleep and exercise, having fun with our spouses (with our children if they are still tiny), or with our friends, etc.

Good luck getting your own needs met!
I hope you find someone great to talk to about the issues you were alluding to in your post.

cj

Edited by: CJBAGGINS at: 6/13/2009 (17:10)
What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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MYLUVWYATT's Photo MYLUVWYATT Posts: 1,461
6/13/09 12:11 P

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Thank You everyone for listening and taking the time to reply.
I agree, it probably isn't depression, but I used that word because when I have talked it over with several doctors over the years, that's the first word thaey have used.
I was given medication once, but only used it a few times.
I don't want to become dependent on any sort of medicine.
One doctor DID recommend Yoga or Meditation for this purpose.
I haven't really sat done to try any of them though.
All I do know is when the anger gets the best of me, it really scares me sometimes too and I hate being the person yelling all the time and just so angry.
I know a lot of what it stems from and I probably should speak with a counselor, but the last one I saw was just a miserable time.
That was several years ago and I'm sure times have changed now.
You would think I wouldn't have a problem going, because this is a field I thought myself of going into.
I guess though, because it's my own needs I'm talking about, it scares me to hear what they might tell me about myself.

I really appreciate you all reading and caring enough to respond, whether I WANT to hear it or not, I NEED to know these things.

Tina

Edited by: MYLUVWYATT at: 6/13/2009 (12:13)
CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 31,792
6/12/09 11:18 P

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Some wonderful replies! It was a great idea to include distinctions between clinical depression and feeling 'down'. Definitely important to discover which it is so can deal with it in the best way.

Good luck to you!

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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SAMODER's Photo SAMODER Posts: 11,838
6/12/09 8:58 P

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I don't have problems with depression, but with anxiety. I worked with a therapist, my primary care doctor, and my gyn. I have noticed that mine was worse at certain times of the month. I do take medication for it, because it really affects my blood pressure. At one time during an anxiety attack my BP was 160/100.

I found that the therapist helped me understand what the physical reactions were to my stress. After talking to my GYN, he said the medication I was taking would help with the PMS symptoms. That is when my anxiety symptoms would be the worse.

Exercise and prayer help, but they weren't enough me. You have to do what is best for you. I don't like taking medication either, but I don't feel guilty about it either.

Sam

You don't stop laughing. because you grow old, you grow old. because you stop laughing!


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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (59,064)
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6/12/09 9:48 A

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I agree with all that has been said and yes I face some of the aame feelings as you do. I am not a medicine taker and usually I also end up on some as well but for me the biggest kicker is getting enough sleep. If I don't get enough sleep then my depression tends to get worse so I start there first and yes I have taken prescription meds to help me get a good nights sleep. I have learned to turn it over to God though and that has been my biggest help to clear my mind. Set up 15 to 30 minutes a day of just time for you only and see how that might help. I could be you go for a walk by yourself and that way your able to clear your head and think through the things of the day and might have set in the depression or mood swings that your facing. It helped me to see where things were going wrong and was able to change some of those things. I pray God will show you the way to handle this and remember we will always be here for you no matter what.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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JENIKLOSS's Photo JENIKLOSS Posts: 454
6/12/09 9:16 A

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Okay, first of all I have quite a bit of first hand experience with this. What KHARAHLYN had said about clinical depression is ABSOLUTELY true and if you feel that way, the best thing you can do is see your doctor. Depression runs in my family as well as other mental diseases so I have had to really take care of myself.

I do get ups and downs sometimes during the month and I have tried several things that have worked for me personally. First of all I have pinpointed the timing to be a few days before my TOM, so at one point I got a prescription for Prozac to take a week before my TOM and stop when it started. I have only done this twice though. I also found that I had a low level of Vitamin D and this was HUGE in my book. Also, some vitamin B (6, 12, and complex) can help boost your mood.

I do agree that sometimes, you go in to the doctor and the first thing they want to do is put you on medication. We all go through times when we are agitated and depressed. Our body, feelings, and thought processes are ruled by the chemical makeup of our brain. It is a highly complicated process and if we don't take care of it, it can break so to speak. Don't rule out options for yourself until you have researched everything. Also, include your husband in the process when you are feeling well enough to hear what he has to say. Maybe he can give you some insight as to how he perceives you are feeling and it may help in your choice.

Jeni~


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CHIMDINDU's Photo CHIMDINDU SparkPoints: (3,738)
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6/12/09 8:22 A

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i feel as if am loosing my mind,but then i have a wonderful solution for depression its work for me alots hopefuly it will work for you ,(1st)it is prayer commiting all my worries to God almighty,he do hear & answer prayer though it might take time its all depend on his will, but at the end i have peace of mind.(2nd)yoga or any excercise you love most can also reduse depression.

I'm apple of Gods eyes,my life/body is EVIDENCE of His work.


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KHARAHLYN's Photo KHARAHLYN SparkPoints: (0)
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6/12/09 7:12 A

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First off, there is a difference in true clinical depression and feeling "down." Clinical depression does not go away in time. It hinders everyday activities, relationships, and everything in one's life. Depression causes many people to not be able to get up in the morning, take a shower, or even see friends/family. It is absolutely debillitating. This poem might describe it best:

Hopeless, helpless,
Broken, battered
A heart is torn;
The pieces scattered
An empty void
The vortex sucking
All air expelled
The pain is crushing
Listless, lifeless
Apathy's won
All of life
Has come undone

If this describes you, then, yes, you need to talk to a doctor or counselor. Like I said, depression does NOT go away.

Otherwise, it is possible to manage the down days or angry days yourself. Find stress relievers that apply directly to you. Take 5 minutes where you do nothing but breathe deeply. Find friends/family/a pastor/etc that will be in your corner no matter what. Come here to SP for support. There are numerous things out there.

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.

*************

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, breathe, and just hold on till the ride stops...

*************

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than others think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 31,792
6/12/09 12:33 A

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Hi Tina. Sorry to hear you are feeling depressed lately. I know when my kids were little, I really struggled with depression, but did not know it at the time. It was only afterwards, when I would read through my journals from that time that I realized how down I must have been!

Do you have friends or family who struggle with the same feelings? Can they offer suggestions? Perhaps there are Teams on SP that deal with depression that may have great ideas for you? I wouldn't rule out your doc, either. Are you able to go in saying you would like some non-drug therapy ideas first, and see what he/she says? Maybe just a counsellor to speak to, a support group, or something would do wonders for you.

Good luck to you. I will offer some prayers for you as you try and turn things around for yourself.

emoticon

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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MYLUVWYATT's Photo MYLUVWYATT Posts: 1,461
6/12/09 12:28 A

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Have you experienced it and if so, how do you DEAL with it?

I don't like telling my doctor about it because all they ever want to do is put you straight on drugs and I won't let them run my life.

Some people (whom I know) may need them, but I personally do not want to.

I'm kind of up and down, typical times of the month, but then other times I know my anger gets the best of me.

And being married with a young child, I don't like to have them experience my anger right along with me or my depression for that matter.

It usually goes away in time, but I wish this was something that didn't happen.

Or, does everyone really experience this from time to time???

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