Posts: 1,180
12/16/08 8:40 P

I know you are leaning towards not going at all but...hear me out please. Go for that hour. Your husband is in the military right? Then the way I look at it is these are the people who may someday have to be at your husband's back in a time of need. Meet them. Meet their wives, who can be a great support someday. I know you are shy, I was too. It was just one time meeting some of the wives that I started getting the phone calls as to where do we turn, how do I get this done because I had been the wife that had a husband in longer than a year. After that I became a Key Volunteer and took the classes so I could help and give the right answers. We also got to spoil the guys for the Holidays.

You never know how many of the other wives are shy too and this would be a great way to break the ice. Then you can also see if you really want your children around these people lol.

Just my thoughts.
Bridget

BTW: Way to go on talking to your dh. I think that's great he says he won't drink either.

Edited by: BRIDIEK at: 12/16/2008 (20:41)

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12/16/08 8:30 P

Bridget -- Yeah, we just talked about it tonight... he said he totally understood and we could just stay for an hour or two and if I wasn't going to drink he wouldn't either, lol... he also said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to. I may end up not going. Like I mentioned, I don't know these people... some of them I met in passing when I picked my dh up from the airport once but I'm a shy person and a drinking party isn't my style. If it were a family party where I could bring my kids I would feel much more comfortable about going.

So, I haven't made up my mind for sure on whether I'm going.. I'm kinda leaning toward no... then when they have a family thing I'll go to that... They may have a new years party and if that is family oriented I'd go.

Thanks for asking and your support!!! :)

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12/16/08 7:42 P

Hi CJ!

EMBERSGLOW Have you talked to your dh yet? How did it go?

Bridget

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12/15/08 11:21 P

Hi Bridget!
EMBERSGLOW - sounds like you have some great ideas. Good luck!

cj

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12/15/08 9:33 P

Hi Bridget,

Yeah, it seems weird to me too... they don't usually do it this way but... whatever... Pretty much your suggestion is my plan, lol. Thanks :)

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12/15/08 9:20 P

I hate to ask but when did units start having Christmas Sleepovers? I know when my dh was in the USMC his units Christmas party was at the Filed House on base and was family orientated.

I would just go anyhow. Why do you have to drink? It's your choice not to. Why do you have to stay the night? Tell your dh how you feel and be honest. Tell him you would like to go but don't plan ondrinking and that way you can just drive the 2 of you home after.

Good luck.

Bridget
USMC Wife/ Key Volunteer (once a Marine ALWAYS a Marine!)

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12/15/08 1:00 P

Thanks for your suggestions! I appreciate all you advice... I'm sure my dh will be happy to come to a compromise with me as far as how long we stay, etc... and I'm going to try to bring something healthy to eat and drink (enough to share) so I have an alternative to whatever is there. Thanks again! :)

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12/13/08 4:40 P

I'm sorry to hear you have such a dilemma to deal with. I hate situations like that. They are friends of your dh, not you, and you don't feel comfortable with the activities (drinking and staying the night) nor the company.

Have you mentioned to your dh your feelings, what you have told us here? Try asking him for suggestions of what you can do to both enjoy the evening. In my experience, men like to solve problems, so perhaps approaching it in that light will help you to find a solution. Let him know what you are willing to do (you'll have to figure that out first yourself! Perhaps you are willing to attend, for him to drink if he wishes, but that you will have one drink and then stop and have water or diluted juice or what have you, but then leave at midnight or whatever).

I'm sure with some communcation and some give and take, you will be able to come up with a solution that works for both of you.

Honesty with your dh, and calmly expressing your feelings (without attacking his, after all, he may be looking forward to such an evening, even if you aren't), will hopefully go a long way in sorting it all out.

Good luck to you both! Let us know how it goes!

cj


Edited by: CJBAGGINS at: 12/13/2008 (16:40)

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12/13/08 4:03 P

the best way to handle parties,is not to avoid them but to make a healthy chioce of drink & food when you get there,even if is giong on natural fruits juice & water,am sure your huby will need ur company at the party,talking of not knowing them,there always a first time.good luck dear.

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12/13/08 3:38 P

Hey all!

I have a bit of a dilema. My husband and I have been invited to a party in a couple weeks that will involve a lot of drinking. They have invited everyone to spend the night there. First, I don't want to drink because of the calories and second, I don't really want to spend the night at their place. I don't know them... my hubby is in the military and it's his unit's Christmas party.

Any ideas on how to handle this? I didn't go to last years Christmas party and I don't really want to be thought of as the prudish wife but I'm not sure how to avoid that... Thanks much!!! :)

Edited by: RUTHMINUS30 at: 12/13/2008 (16:16)

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