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KHARAHLYN's Photo KHARAHLYN SparkPoints: (0)
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8/22/08 3:51 P

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Unfortunately, the more you ask specifically for what you need and the more you don't get it usually causes more and more heartache. Sometimes you just quit asking. Sometimes it's better to wonder if they don't know what you want/need than to know that they DO know and just aren't willing to give it.

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.

*************

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, breathe, and just hold on till the ride stops...

*************

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than others think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,581
8/21/08 11:30 P

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Sometimes just knowing we COULD say something or do something, even if we don't, makes things a little better, as we have a sense of control over the situation. At least it works that way for me anyway.
cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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BALLOFOIL's Photo BALLOFOIL Posts: 828
8/21/08 10:43 P

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I agree CJ, my husband really means no harm and doesn't know what I need as far as "kudos" go. I let it slide. I know I should say something, I am sure I will soon enough

Just remember..........one day at a time;-)



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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,581
8/21/08 7:49 P

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Sorry to hear you are not getting the kind of support you are craving from your husband. In his defense, he may not know that you (1) need the support, and (2) how to give it. Would it be possible to let him know, calmly and patiently, what you need from him (a 'way to go' once a week or so). Sometimes we assume our husbands know what we need, as it is soooo obvious to us - but they really don't have a clue and truly don't mean to hurt us, they just need to be told as they can't read our minds!

If that is not the case - try and get the support you need from your friends on and off SP. Good luck!
cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




404 Days since:  compulsive overeating
 
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BALLOFOIL's Photo BALLOFOIL Posts: 828
8/21/08 2:06 P

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yeah it's really hard when your husband doesn't recognize your efforts, but we have to just keep going. I lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks, which for me is a BIG deal, and my husband made a comment about me losing weight and when I told him I had lost 10 pounds he made a joke about it. Really hurt my feelings but we just have to stick to our plan! One day there will be no jokes and they will see us and wonder where the rest of us went!
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Just remember..........one day at a time;-)



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STACIELICIOUS's Photo STACIELICIOUS Posts: 53
8/21/08 2:00 P

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Ahhh thanks ladies *hugz* I appreciate your help knowing that I am not going crazy!

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MRS*MAC Posts: 485
8/20/08 8:08 A

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I know what you mean! I have a similar issue. I think my weight does not matter to him as much as it matters to me so it's hard for him to relate. Maybe that's all it is!

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KHARAHLYN's Photo KHARAHLYN SparkPoints: (0)
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8/20/08 1:38 A

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Sometimes, no matter how many times you tell them - flat out - that you need their encouragement, they don't come through. Unfortunately, it's just a fact.

Although, just last month, almost 4 YEARS after I started down this path, my husband says to me: "I'm so glad you're not fat." That's all I've gotten from him, ever. SO I hear ya and can empathize. On the plus-side, though, we have SP!

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.

*************

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, breathe, and just hold on till the ride stops...

*************

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than others think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.


 current weight: 173.0 
 
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SAMODER's Photo SAMODER Posts: 11,838
8/19/08 10:17 P

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My hubby has also been supportive. He can eat more than I do, but we have converted his snacks to cereal bars- healthier for him and they don't "call" to me.

He is SO proud of my weight loss and is happy that I am healthier than I was. I'm still not where I want to be, but we're both happier with the improvement.

Of course this is the man who had all the ladies he worked with laughing when he was saying that WE were having trouble breast feeding our newborn son! (23 yrs ago, but still causes a chuckle)

Sam

You don't stop laughing. because you grow old, you grow old. because you stop laughing!


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MEL_UNRAU's Photo MEL_UNRAU SparkPoints: (98,349)
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8/19/08 6:24 P

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My hubby has always been somewhat supportive (in that good job, way to go kind of way). And it took months for him to realize that bringing me cookies, candy, and pizza were not good rewards. Several conversations and several months more and here we are... Ready and serious about my eating habits. I am EXTREMELY active, and so burning calories isn't my problem... it can't be. So, it has to be what I eat. And DH is on board and helpful. But, it took a long long long time for him to get there. Keep having "the talk" with him every couple of weeks, and he should get there too!

Imperfection is important. If we were all perfect, then there would be no such thing as growth, and everyone would be extremely boring, which is, paradoxically, not that perfect.-- Dr. Matt

Baltimore Running Festival Marathon Finisher. 5:55:33


MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (59,059)
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8/19/08 5:09 P

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My husband is the same way and never complains about my weight. I have alot of health problems so that is my goal to get rid of all of them and show my kids a good example. Hang in there and don't give up. Also have you tried sitting down and talking with him about this. That's what I do with my hubby when he starts binge eating in front of me. Good luck and we are here for you anytime.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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2BHOTNTONED's Photo 2BHOTNTONED SparkPoints: (56,477)
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8/19/08 4:23 P

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I feel your pain i too was a lot slimmer once upon a time and i even managed to get my figure back after my first baby. But this time it feels a lot harder, i lose weight then put it back on again.
My Husbands says he doesn't see anything wrong with me and he loves me how i am, in fact he thinks i look healthier. He doesn't really help me he always buys me chocolate etc.
But i'm not going to give up, so don't you. We can do this. Do you know why?? Cause we are worth it!!!
emoticon

♥~*-::-*♥~.* ) ♥~*-::-*♥~.* )♥~*-::-♥Believe in yourself.♥~*-::-Stay Focused.*♥~.*.Never Give Up..♥.*)♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-♥
Mandy x ..♥.*)♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-♥



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STACIELICIOUS's Photo STACIELICIOUS Posts: 53
8/19/08 2:04 P

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I have gained MAD weight since meeting my husband, I actually was smaller after having our first son, but then when we actually moved in together etc. It's gotten worse. We have tried doing the atkins etc. I have tried numerous attemps at losing weight, I feel like sometimes he's not in to giving me the support I need (which is a verbal "way to go"once in awhile) and sometimes it gets so discouraging I give up...even though I know I'm giving up on myself. And he's lost alot of weight but I feel like I have been left behind. What to do? Any advice I would love to hear from you! emoticon

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