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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/9/08 11:05 P

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Even more happy than my hubby to be getting our own house with property to hunt on is our 12 yr old daughter who like to hunt also. LOL

We did have another talk today and for right now until they get done in Indianapolis, he will continue to do the same job he was hired for. After that is when things should change.... key word should. He is still unsure if taking the new position is a good idea with the transplant stuff. We will never know when it's actually going to be because when they find the donor for me it will be a thing where I will have to get there within hours of getting the call. So it's back to the drawing table.

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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RUSSETT98 Posts: 155
7/9/08 8:30 P

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I am also so happy that ya'll have come to a decision. And yes, you know to re-evaluate after a while. Sounds like you have some great plans for your future! Having your own home is really great! I don't know if my hubby would like the hunting any more, but he would like the garden....especially the way prices keep going up! Good luck!

russett98


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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/7/08 11:45 P

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Yeah... The plans are nice. I just can't wait to have our own property outside of the town limits where Ic an have an outdoor fire if I want to. We can't being in the town right now.

Hunting will be nice too, won't have to listen to I have to get my stuff set up at his friends house anymore (and less trips to my in-laws *party hahaha*)

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 31,781
7/7/08 12:58 A

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A house, a garden, a trip somewhere nice - sounds wonderful. I hope the separations aren't too awful, but hopefully the good things will help to soften the blow.

My hubby would especially like the hunting on his own property bit. He'll be jealous when I tell him.

Sounds like you have a great plan.
cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/7/08 12:20 A

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I take care very good care of him. Thank you. I know he tries to do what's best for us and no sometimes he doesn't think...but we are in this together and it has taken him a long time to learn that we have to work together on things, for his sake, for my sake, for our daughter's sake, for "our" sake.

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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IMMACULATEHEART's Photo IMMACULATEHEART SparkPoints: (20,062)
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7/7/08 12:10 A

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It's very nice to hear that. Your husband is so nice... Take care of him very well.

Immaculate Heart
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Speak Lord, Your servant listens...


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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/7/08 12:00 A

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That is one of the things we did agree on...reevalution as time goes on.

The present we also agreed on, a house of our own in the Spring. We are both so tired of renting and we want a bit of property too. One so that we can have an actualy vegetable garden (hubby setting it up and telling me what to do since I have a brown thumb lol), and my hubby can hunt on his own property. But we also have a second present planned... Hawaii around Christmas time next year.

Not only will he be making more but he will still get his profit sharing in December. I really love this company.

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 31,781
7/6/08 8:20 P

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I'm glad you came to a decision that seems to work well for you guys. Take care, and remember to reevaluate as time goes on to see if it is still working for you.

You'll have to think of a nice gift for yourself, for the household, or for the family with the extra money coming your way.
cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/6/08 7:52 P

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We would rather not relocate as we just moved to Oh in Sept of last year and we love the school system here. We did find out the next place they are going is Detroit which is only 3 hours from us.

After talking this weekend, we have decided it would be in our best interest for him to take the better position financially. Being that Detroit is only 3 hours, on the weekends he can't come we will travel the 3 hrs and go on a mini vacation to Detroit. In the long run with the transplants coming up I will need as many breaks as I can get.

At the holiday times it will be nice too since when we pick him up we will be half way to his family already.

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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IMMACULATEHEART's Photo IMMACULATEHEART SparkPoints: (20,062)
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7/5/08 9:20 A

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Is there an option for a family relocation?

Immaculate Heart
MIRACULOUSMEDAL('07)
Beginning wt: 60 kgs.
12 February 2009
Current wt: 61.5 kgs 10 September 2010
Weight Goal: 48 kgs 31 December 2010

Speak Lord, Your servant listens...


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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/3/08 12:01 A

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Russett,

Yes we do have a 12 yr old daughter.

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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RUSSETT98 Posts: 155
7/2/08 11:46 P

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Bridget,

There is nothing I can add to what everyone has already said. Sit down and think about what has been said. Talk seriously to your husband and make the pros/con list. Are there children involved? If not maybe you could go with him sometimes. My husband has been working overseas for the last 8-10 yrs. I understand how you feel. I have raised our 2 kids mostly by myself. He is gone for 8-16 wks at a time and home for about 10-12 days. We have gotten used to it. I will put you in my prayers and hope that you make a wise decision and do what is best for your family.
russett


russett98


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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/2/08 9:35 P

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I already know he feels the same as I do about the time away. But at the same time...my husband was out of work for several months from Oct to Dec and we got into some financial trouble. We are nearly out and he makes great money now working for the same company that offered the new position. His pay would increase by $1.00 an hour +plus daily per dienm = almost triple his pay because they would be working 72 hours a week instead of 40. So the money thing is our biggest pro.

The position he holds right now is a pipeline engineer putting in jet fuel systems at different airports. Right now they are in Indianapolis but by the looks of it they will be going to Detroit in a few weeks. That is whther or not he takes the new position. All of them will be going. It takes 1 to 2 years to complete each job.

The biggest con...his time off however after working 2 weeks, will only be the 1 weekend. He did say if he's reasonably close, such as Detroit, Pittsburgh, etc, we could come up on the weekends he has to stay to work.

But you all are right, we do need to sit down
together and write out the pros/cons and make this decision together.

Thank you for your suggestions. I really do appreciate them.

Bridget


Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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KHARAHLYN's Photo KHARAHLYN SparkPoints: (0)
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7/2/08 6:24 P

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Being in this situation more often than I'd like, I'd wholeheartedly suggest you make your concerns and your needs known. That includes your needs for his time, attention, and physical presence. I don't know if he is the same as my husband, but he may not even realize the importance of this issue to you. As crazy as that may seem, it could very well be the truth. I know from experience that my husband does not see his absence in nearly the same light as I do.

On the flipside, listen to HIS needs - both spoken and unspoken. Does he feel that he's not providing enough for you? Does he feel that he needs a position of higher importance? Listen and address his needs.

Do you have a good support system around you? That helps a great deal. I know my family and my friends have given me strength so often when my husband has been gone. I'm not sure I would have made it some days without them.

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.

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Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, breathe, and just hold on till the ride stops...

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Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than others think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 31,781
7/2/08 4:55 P

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Oh man. That's rough. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this right now, on top of your health concerns.

I think the suggestions made already are good ones. Most people when making tough decisions are more comfortable first figuring out how they feel and then helping the people important to them figure out their feelings as well. A pro/cons list once you know your feelings and your husband's feelings is a good idea as a next step.

Some questions Mel_unrau raised are important I think. Some workers when having to be out of town for weeks at a time, get some sort of compensation in terms of time at home. So if your husband is off for 2 or more weeks after being out of town for 2 weeks, you and he may decide that it is worth it to you both. Exploring moving to a town closer to where he will be working is also an option. Is he able to postpone accepting this position until your health is more stable and/or until after the transplant is all finished?

Good luck. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be what is best for you and your family.

Take care. I will pray for you both.
cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE SparkPoints: (64,059)
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7/2/08 11:41 A

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I think having your husband by your side during times of stress and vulnerability is crucial for your emotional well being. I agree that a pros/cons talk is necessary. I wish you the best!

Rose emoticon

Marilyn

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The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

My life tomorrow will be the result of my attitudes and the choices I make today.

Nothing is worth more than this day!











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MYTHICALANGEL's Photo MYTHICALANGEL Posts: 6,691
7/2/08 10:03 A

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Right now I agree with everyone else, I would sit down and make a list of pros vs cons and discuss feelings and sacrifices....Best of luck with what ever you decide..... emoticon

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JULBRI9's Photo JULBRI9 Posts: 462
7/2/08 8:59 A

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I agree time is more important then money but only you know what is right for your family. Good Luck!

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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (59,064)
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7/2/08 8:50 A

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I would set down and be honest with how you feel as well as how he feels. Maybe he doesn't want to do it either. I always have the serious conversations with my hubby and it really helps us to determine what we should do about it as well as we pray together over it also. I will pray that God will lead you in the right directions and you get your answer. Good luck!

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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MEL_UNRAU's Photo MEL_UNRAU SparkPoints: (104,588)
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7/2/08 8:20 A

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Is he going to be gone to the same place for two weeks at a time? Will he be home for two weeks at a time, too? Would moving help? My parents went through something like this several times, and I watched my dad leave and come home once or twice a month for a weekend. It was always, he took a job, then found a little rental to live in, then looked around to find a good neighborhood and we moved 6-12 months later. But, It was still very hard.

I don't know what to tell you, but the list idea sounds like a good one. I would really talk about it with your husband and make some decisions together. This isn't one that you can do on your own, either of you. If you decide, then it creates an ultimatum for your DH, and if he decides, then it puts you in an impossible situation. You have to make the decision together.

Imperfection is important. If we were all perfect, then there would be no such thing as growth, and everyone would be extremely boring, which is, paradoxically, not that perfect.-- Dr. Matt

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POOHSME's Photo POOHSME SparkPoints: (0)
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7/2/08 2:49 A

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What would happen if he didn't take the job?

I would honestly sit down and do a pro/cons list together. This is how my husband and I make the hard choices. We then discuss and weight the pros/cons and make the choice.

Dawn

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JUTZIE's Photo JUTZIE Posts: 133
7/2/08 1:43 A

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I think time is more important then money.

I can't imagine living with my hubby gone that many days.

I could go into alot of things I think but it just seems that life would be hard

I think the best thing it to be completely honest with him and tell him how you feel.

Judy



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BRIDIEK's Photo BRIDIEK Posts: 1,180
7/2/08 1:08 A

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My husband who already works out of town leaving on Sunday afternoons and comes home on Thursday or Friday evenings, has been offered a new position with the same company.

The money he would be making...OMG! But on the other hand, it would mean he would be out of town for 2 weeks at a time. emoticon I am so lost without him already. I know we talk several times everyday and that wouldn't change. And he says that if they are working close enough we could either come up during the week or for the weekend to see him.

The other problem is, I am facing a double transplant kidney/pancreas. I am only in the assessment/testing stage right now, but once they finish my testing there's no telling how soon it could be.

I don't want to hurt him in any way. I have always supported him no matter what. But he wants me to help in the decision whether or not he takes the position.

HELP! What would you do????

Bridget

"Diet" is a four letter obscenity.


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