Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
MYTHICALANGEL's Photo MYTHICALANGEL Posts: 6,691
5/21/08 11:19 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am sorry but I would talk to him and express your feelings.....I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a positive result....Hugs

Co-Team Leader of Parents of Preschoolers!

You can achieve anything you can imagine! You just need to believe in yourself.
Always try to think of others and how you can improve their quailty of life by just taking the time to listen

Trust, Believe and Have Faith in Yourself!
SAMODER's Photo SAMODER Posts: 11,838
5/21/08 11:09 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I agree with everything that has been said so far. My husband and I will be married 29 years this fall. I've found that writing down my feelings works better for me. I can think about how to phrase things better. I ma less likely to say something I didn't intend to say.

If something is that important to you, then it NEEDS to be discussed. It will just fester and become a wall between you.

Good luck. We are here for you.
Sam

You don't stop laughing. because you grow old, you grow old. because you stop laughing!


 Pounds lost: 27.0 
 
0
31.5
63
94.5
126
CATHY31580's Photo CATHY31580 SparkPoints: (27,932)
Fitness Minutes: (34,232)
Posts: 1,147
5/21/08 4:11 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
As a wedding planner, I have seen my share of couples who make it and not make it and the big thing is honesty...I have had several couples not be honest to each other and later hear that they had divorced...you have to be honest with him and if he really loves you he will listen to what you have to say...if not, you will finally know...we are here for you, but you do need to sit down with him and talk about this...think of it this way...if you cannot talk to him about this, how are you going to be able to talk to him about other things that may be more serious.

Catharine
Professional Bridal Consultant
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

National VP of Dream Team

Mommies of Angel Babies team leader

Mommy of 2 angels - our baby angel boy and our baby angel girl.

Milwaukee, WI team leader

personal blog: http://hanfamilyjourney.blogspot.com


 current weight: 156.0 
 
170
160
150
140
130
MONIQUE138's Photo MONIQUE138 SparkPoints: (13,880)
Fitness Minutes: (15,207)
Posts: 2,590
5/21/08 3:47 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Makes sense to me Kharahlyn. Thanks to all of you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

STRENGTH,POWER, ENCOURAGEMENT, WISDOM, IT IS GOD WHO GUIDES ME THROUGH ALL THESE THINGS!!!

Monique
Co-leader of the Outdoor Women Team
NYC


www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=20916


 September Minutes: 0
 
0
125
250
375
500
KHARAHLYN's Photo KHARAHLYN SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,707)
Posts: 1,119
5/21/08 12:22 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I would suggest that, since you are afraid of rejection, write it down. BUT, I would be there when he reads it so that you can see his true reaction and also so that neither one of you can just "brush it off" and pretend it never happened. Does that make sense?

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.

*************

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, breathe, and just hold on till the ride stops...

*************

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than others think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.


 current weight: 173.0 
 
173
164.75
156.5
148.25
140
MONIQUE138's Photo MONIQUE138 SparkPoints: (13,880)
Fitness Minutes: (15,207)
Posts: 2,590
5/21/08 12:19 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Don't worry any suggestions or comments you have is fine. I just need a person to be truthful with me. 56Rose I really don't know why but I am a little afraid to bring it up. I don't know what to expect. I guess since its been so long that he may be comfortable with the way things are, but you may be right I may have to get up enough courage to let him know how I feel. Would any of you suggest the best way is verbally or by letter since I am afraid of being rejected again.

STRENGTH,POWER, ENCOURAGEMENT, WISDOM, IT IS GOD WHO GUIDES ME THROUGH ALL THESE THINGS!!!

Monique
Co-leader of the Outdoor Women Team
NYC


www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=20916


 September Minutes: 0
 
0
125
250
375
500
MEL_UNRAU's Photo MEL_UNRAU SparkPoints: (101,100)
Fitness Minutes: (99,649)
Posts: 7,180
5/21/08 12:15 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I agree. If it has been 20 years since you have talked about, maybe it is time? I am guessing if he is unaware of your feelings, that he thinks that the status quo is great. I would talk with him... not to cause trouble, but just to remind him that you want to have a wedding... to be married, not just "in your hearts" but in the eyes of the law too. emoticon

Imperfection is important. If we were all perfect, then there would be no such thing as growth, and everyone would be extremely boring, which is, paradoxically, not that perfect.-- Dr. Matt

Baltimore Running Festival Marathon Finisher. 5:55:33


MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (59,059)
Fitness Minutes: (16,656)
Posts: 12,783
5/21/08 12:14 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am so sorry for you and will keep you in my prayers. I do agree with telling him how you feel about the situation and get is reactions about it. Honesty is how me and my husband have survive our 10 years of marriage and yes we have had ups and downs too. We always try and be honest even it if hurts feelings sometimes. I think that is what I love about him the most. Take care and keep us updated.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
0
28
56
84
112
56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE SparkPoints: (62,622)
Fitness Minutes: (21,927)
Posts: 13,079
5/21/08 11:51 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Just a quick thought...Is your husband aware of your feelings? Maybe letting him know how much this means to you would make all the difference! I understand your need but does he? emoticon Rose emoticon

Marilyn

Boise, ID

Mountain Time Zone

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

My life tomorrow will be the result of my attitudes and the choices I make today.

Nothing is worth more than this day!











 current weight: 190.0 
 
190
187.625
185.25
182.875
180.5
JKLM_MOM's Photo JKLM_MOM Posts: 828
5/21/08 11:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
life's too short to settle. i hope you get your dream wedding. maybe i'm wrong, but is he taking you for granted? i'm not suggesting anything radical nor am i trying to cause trouble. i just thought i'd bring up the question. you sound like an intelligent, caring person. i'm sure you'll find your solution. good luck!



Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.--Confucius

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.--Robert Collier


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
0
7.3
14.6
21.9
29.2
MONIQUE138's Photo MONIQUE138 SparkPoints: (13,880)
Fitness Minutes: (15,207)
Posts: 2,590
5/21/08 10:47 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks for the kind words any support or advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated. emoticon

STRENGTH,POWER, ENCOURAGEMENT, WISDOM, IT IS GOD WHO GUIDES ME THROUGH ALL THESE THINGS!!!

Monique
Co-leader of the Outdoor Women Team
NYC


www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=20916


 September Minutes: 0
 
0
125
250
375
500
KHARAHLYN's Photo KHARAHLYN SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,707)
Posts: 1,119
5/21/08 10:34 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I am so so sorry to hear what a rough time you've been having. I'm sure you've already heard some interesting opinions and you have your own; therefore I'm going to refrain from giving you mine. If you really do want it, you can ask me, and I'll give it, but I think you really need support right now, from the sounds of things. Please know my thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family, regardless of what happens. emoticon

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.

*************

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, breathe, and just hold on till the ride stops...

*************

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than others think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.


 current weight: 173.0 
 
173
164.75
156.5
148.25
140
MONIQUE138's Photo MONIQUE138 SparkPoints: (13,880)
Fitness Minutes: (15,207)
Posts: 2,590
5/21/08 10:17 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Everyone I'm back. I really appreciate the support that is given me. Last time I told you I had some issues and I will be filling you in on it just to get some good advice. I have been with my husband for 24 years and we have two children. He is a good man overall but I know when I say they can really be difficult to deal with I know you all could probably relate. I have been with him for 24 years could you believe that? 20 years ago I asked him to marry me and he told me he was not ready yet. Since then I have not asked nor has he asked me. When I hear about my other friends getting married and half of them I don't even think should be getting married for reasons you could probably imagine. I feel so sad and I always cry because I am wondering what is wrong with me. Am I only good enough to have your babies and cook and clean. I think It's really starting to bother me now because I have so many friends that are married now. They told me I was already married but not by law and that is good enough. WHAT!!!!!. Every girl wants that dream of being married to her knight and Shining armor. Oh God I can go on and on. I have a great career and I gave him two beautiful children and I put up with all the crap. What else do I need to do? I am feel sick. I will now indulge in a hearty lunch because that is what I do when I am upset. Feel free to comment no matter how rough you need to get with me I just need a little bit of the truth or just some kind words. Thanks for your support
emoticon

STRENGTH,POWER, ENCOURAGEMENT, WISDOM, IT IS GOD WHO GUIDES ME THROUGH ALL THESE THINGS!!!

Monique
Co-leader of the Outdoor Women Team
NYC


www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=20916


 September Minutes: 0
 
0
125
250
375
500
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Married Life General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics: Last Post:
4 Ways to Relieve Stress in Your Life 7/3/2014 8:15:04 AM
Get Out of the Marriage Rut 8/18/2014 11:58:47 AM
Who Are You Behind Closed Doors? 12/8/2013 6:18:01 PM
And We Wonder Why Chivalry is Dead 4/7/2014 9:59:18 PM
“Just” Friends" 10/7/2013 11:06:14 AM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x11877x15097939

Review our Community Guidelines