I am going to be new to the OTR thing. DH is went for his drug test and DOT physical for a company that is about two hours from where we live. Once all that comes back he will start driving 5 days on 2 days off. While I know at first Im going to love it (He's been unemployed for about 5 months now and has driven me up a wall ;) in a loving way of course) Im sure the worry will get to me with him driving all those miles. Another thing is our living sittuation is rather unique. I am a Live in companion for a lady that is intellectually challenged. My DH also lives here. So trying to make his days home "special or unique" will be rather limiting. I could always use the 5 break days a month I have to get a sub over here but that would mean we would have to get a hotel. I'm not sure if after DH has been OTR 5 days if he'd want to do that or just come home ya know? Guess the longer he does this the better our plans will be :)
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Fitness Minutes: (2,707) Posts: 1,119 4/16/08 7:29 P
I've been doing this for 5 years, and I will say that those "blues" never do truly go away. However, we've kind of gotten into some habits that have helped. Every night whenever he gets off work or after he gets back to the hotel after dinner (depending on what time zone he happens to be in...) he calls me. Then, in the mornings, even if it's just a minute or two, one of us calls the other just to say good morning, missing you, have a good day.... It really helps to make you feel more connected.
I would agree with Ramona. I never like having hubby gone, but it is a nice time to really enjoy some time alone or with friends that I may not usually get to spend a whole lot of time with.
One last thing I'll leave you with: I am a hopeless romantic, so the time he's away (like you, often he's gone for a couple weeks, home for weekend and then back out...) I try to use to come up with little surprises for him to find when he gets home. Whether it be a new massage oil or a special dinner, or roses along the hallway or simply a new outfit to surprise him in, I try to go out of my way to make him feel special. It serves two purposes: it makes me feel closer to him because I'm just as excited to put things together as I imagine he'll be. AND, it lets him know that he's in my thoughts even when he's not in my house.
If you want to chitchat or mope (I do it still!), I'd be more than happy to listen. Hope this has been helpful!
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My hat is off to all of you who manage your life with a spouse who travels for work... I shudder at even the thought! I did, however, talk at length with someone who lives this weekly and I was surprised at her perspective... maybe it will help you... she said that she actually liked it because it gave her an opportunity to focus on herself without feeling guilty, while it helped the two of them to develop habits of initmacy that didn't involve proximity (but she's also not a newly-wed). They don't take each other for granted because of this. She also thinks this has made them more effective communicators because they have to be. Good luck to all of you!
When my husband is away me and the girls become very active so they do not miss daddy so much! But i agree with you i give millitary families a lot of credit! My girls miss there daddy even if its 2-3 days, could not imagine a month or more.
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Fitness Minutes: (3,909) Posts: 355 4/16/08 10:27 A
My hubby and I did this for over 9 months. It is very challenging. But we made it through. I know at times it is really hard, look forward to seeing each other, make sure you talk as much as you can. If there is anytime you need to talk to someone don't be afraid to ask. Keep smiling and remember being apart will end sooner that it truly seems.
My FI works in NY and visits GA every three weeks. We intend to continue with this schedule until mid-2009. He is a union employee for a wonderful construction company. Wages in NY surpasses wages in GA, so we decided to sacrifice for a couple of years to meet our financial goals and dreams. It is difficult, but I am able to maintain my weight goals and celebrate (with a little cheating) when he comes home. I think our sacrifice and commitment surpasses everything. We will rejoice when we celebrate our destination wedding in St. Thomas - April 4, 2009. Until then, I am willing to sacrifice.
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Is anyone like me who's spouse works out of town? How do you work through the missing you blues? It's good for me diet wise because I tend to stay on program better when he's gone. Everything else pretty much bites!! The longest he's been gone at one time is 3 weeks then home for 4 days and gone for another 3 weeks. That was horrible!!! Now he's on 2 weeks away and 1 week home so it's not too bad. I try to think of military families to make myself feel lucky to at least have him home that often and at least safe when he's away. I don't know how military families do it, gotta give em props because I know it's not easy!!
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