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VOLLMELD's Photo VOLLMELD SparkPoints: (66,611)
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5/15/09 2:59 P

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Thanks for sharing. LOL


Diane

Good luck to all in your weight loss journey.

God is everywhere, even at your wit's end.

Lose weight instantly! Put all your worries on Him.


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BRITTVFAN's Photo BRITTVFAN SparkPoints: (113,820)
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5/14/09 8:45 P

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Thanks for sharing.

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TZH4145's Photo TZH4145 Posts: 4,187
5/14/09 8:15 P

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They were funny!!! emoticon



My goals for the swim suit weight challenge are:
1, Lose 4 lbs.
2, Go down a dress size
3. See how many inches I have lost.

One day at a time.

¢¾¢¾TZH¢¾¢¾


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DMILLER33's Photo DMILLER33 Posts: 4,311
5/14/09 6:46 A

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Love these!

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TRAILTRODDER's Photo TRAILTRODDER Posts: 1,296
5/14/09 12:43 A

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Absolutely funny!

Greg emoticon

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FRANNIEDID's Photo FRANNIEDID SparkPoints: (103,862)
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5/13/09 10:22 P

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So funny! Thanks

Frannie

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
-Foster C. Mcclellan

Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.”
Vista M. Kelley

The most wasted day of all is that during which we have not laughed. Sebastian R.N. Chamfort


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ROBLAINE1 Posts: 2,603
5/13/09 9:36 P

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Those are great ones!! Loved them.


JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (62,986)
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5/13/09 8:11 P

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They are hysterical. I plan on learning a new language (other than English) for tomorrow! emoticon

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
DJ4HEALTH's Photo DJ4HEALTH Posts: 39,863
5/13/09 8:00 P

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Good ones!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Dorothy





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BARBEQUESUE's Photo BARBEQUESUE Posts: 4,856
5/13/09 7:54 P

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I think this has been around awhile but still good for a laugh! Hope you enjoy...Good Health!
emoticon

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans, another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

emoticon

"Pray with hope that we use the day ahead as a most precious gift of time"

¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
((¸¸.•´ ..•´ Barbara ..'))-:¦:- ¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´* -:¦:- ((¸¸.•´*

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, later it yields the peaceful fruits of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." ~ HEBREWS 12:11


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