I realize this was posted quite some time ago, but it's something I struggle with often and I wanted to take a second to address it. First of all, I hope, CHICVINTAGE, you haven't given up on SparkPeople - it's an amazing website and it can help your reach any and every goal - weight loss related or not.
Second - I really think all women struggle to some degree with the "pressure to be thin". I don't have the same situation you do in that I am surrounded by people I perceive to be thinner than I am - I live in average-ville. And I'm tall, so for the most part, I carry my weight well. No one has ever looked at me and said "wow, you could stand to lose a few". Ironically though, I hear that line - "wow, you could stand to lose a few" - all the time. It's just in my head, and I am certain that I am the perpetrator of the pressure I feel to be thinner.
And I'll bet the same can be said of your situation.
We - all of us - are surrounded constantly by images that tell us we need to be thinner, wealthier, healthier, prettier, you name it. And in being surrounded by these messages of needing to be thinner or funnier or more perfect, we begin to internalize that message and believe it to be true, which turns us into perfectionists.
And not one of us will ever be perfect - well, at least not in the eyes of the media.
Even if you now live in an area where you feel like you are surrounded by "thin" people, remember that you are not the numbers on the scale or on the tags in your clothing. You're awesome just as you are. If you feel pressure in your life, I hope it is pressure to be more awesomer. Because that's what makes the world better.
So don't worry about being thinner. Worry about being awesomer.
Maybe it's my age or the fact that I feel like "me" at a certain weight but lately I've been feeling pressure to be thin for reasons outside of what I personally desire. I think it has a lot to do with moving across the country last year. Where I used to live, it was highly ethnic and low income. It wasn't exactly a culture of fit and lean. Here in our new city, I'm actually considered curvy. It seems like everyone my age is 5"10" and 115lbs. I don't want to be that thin but it just feels so odd to me to not be in the thin group anymore even though very little has changed in my weight or health. I'll freely admit to being a perfectionist. Seeing so many women smaller than me just immediately makes me feel like they know something I do not and that the measure of health has somehow been shifted from what I know to be true. I do *know* that that is absurd but I still can't help thinking it. *sigh*
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