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DANABD's Photo DANABD Posts: 10
2/23/12 9:48 P

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yes, im 5'11 and now 42 pounds thinner than when I started. Everyone keeps telling me Im not fat but I am!!! I have a minimum of 10-15 pounds of fat I am sucking in with corsets in my tummy! It just wont come off. So I let it go in one ear and out the other and if need be, I go into more detail if they just cant stop....

So #1, yes, understand your frustration
#2 next time say something to this woman. She is obviously ignorant but you could put it nicely and maybe enlighten her so she doesnt continue to hurt peoples feelings
#3 be proud of yourself and keep up with your goals!!!

Dana

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COONSY's Photo COONSY Posts: 71
2/22/12 11:16 A

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I definitely get this, ALL the time. It gets SO annoying, and it's rather detrimental to keeping up the motivation needed to eat right and get healthy. I find it one of the worst things that women (men too?) say to other women - just because you're not obese, you don't need to lose weight (or that's how they act).

I've really been struggling with this myself because most of the women I'm around say exactly what you're hearing - "you don't need to lose weight" "where are you going to lose it from" and many other comments and innuendos basically saying that because I'm not a size 10+ I don't deserve support and encouragement in being healthy.

Thankfully there are a couple of women who are in the same boat as myself - and a couple others who can understand that it's about being healthy and what's right for your individual body. Unfortunately, I end up hearing the negative people far more often, and it's hard to do this journey alone. Motivation seems hard to come by, especially when there are other things in your life that tend to drag you down (finances are a biggie around here).

So, I feel you in your struggle and in how hard it is to overcome the nay-sayers. The only thing we can do is to keep our chins up and know that we are taking care of ourselves and doing what is best for ourselves. I honestly think a lot of those negative people are actually just feeling guilty - they know they should be healthier and take better care of themselves, so when we talk about doing it, they take it personally. Understanding that can help at least a little bit, no matter how ridiculous it is.

Four wheels move the body, Two wheels move the soul.

Try not, do or do not. There is no try.



Never argue with an idiot - they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.


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JOHNSPET81's Photo JOHNSPET81 Posts: 2
2/20/12 9:41 P

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Thank you ladies. Your support definitely helps me feel better about it all. I'm one of the smallest women in my family, and although they haven't actually said anything (minus my dear aunt, who left a comment on my page here), sometimes I can tell by their looks that they think the same thing. Luckily, they're all really supportive.
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An it harm none, do as ye will. Good words to live by.

www.change.org/petitions/create-cayl
ees-law


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COOLBETINA's Photo COOLBETINA Posts: 86
2/20/12 9:31 P

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It is really not their place to judge you or your goals. It really doesn't matter what they think, it completely matters what you think. No matter what people say, it can be difficult to hear negative things from other people. You have already taken a great step, instead of lashing out back at this person, you have found a healthy place to vent.

I get the same thing from people and it drives me a little crazy too. I am the one who has to live with my body, and who looks at it in the mirror. As long as I am doing things in a healthy way that does not bring me or anyone else any harm, what is wrong with wishing to be better, healthier, stronger.

Everyone has something beautiful inside of them, and I am positive that includes you. You are more than the sum of several parts, you are unique and loveable and you are not alone on this planet. There are many people here who care about others and whom posses good qualities. Please do not lose any hope, just keep sight on your goals and your accomplishments.

I am grateful for my life and the challenges it brings. Every challenge is a new opportunity to grow, learn, and get closer to my goals.


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STRONGMOMMA2014's Photo STRONGMOMMA2014 Posts: 1,446
2/20/12 8:33 A

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I'm so sorry. That is terrible. So many of us can say "been there" "went through that", and "I hate that too". It is crazy how words can make the mind run like it does. I have been through fighting eating disorders, abusive people's harsh words causing so much self hate, and recently co-workers attempts at compliments implying that I do not eat and therefore can not partake when food is a part of a celebration.

The good news is that you have found a healthy way to live and that you have the passion to pursue it. Healthy from the inside out is the only way though, and I promise you those demons may never shut up, but you can make them a bit quieter.

People do not always think before they speak. You are totally on spot when you say that this woman doesn't know a thing about you. It is unfair for anyone to demotivate a person by telling them they do not need to lose weight or insinuating that it is an unhealthy obsession.

The beauty of your situation is that this woman is not a family member, a co-worker, or in general a person that you will EVER HAVE TO talk to again, unless you choose to. You can remove her negativity from your situation.

Keep on working toward your healthy goals. Keep fighting, because it is worth it, and so are you.

Best wishes!

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JOHNSPET81's Photo JOHNSPET81 Posts: 2
2/20/12 2:31 A

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This is my first time posting in any forum on here, but I just need to rant, hopefully to people who have gone through the same thing. I was playing WoW tonight, and discussing Spark People with a friend of a friend who is in the same guild. She found out that I only have about 25 pounds to lose and made the remark, "Oh god one of THOSE". When I asked what she meant, she said "People who think they're fat when they only have a little bit to lose". I just got quiet, and about half an hour after that, I logged off WoW. It just irritated the crap out of me, because this woman has never met me, and doesn't really know me at all. I never once said I was fat, I just need to get back into shape. Plus, she doesn't know how I've battled anorexia for 15 1/2 years now (when I was 15 years old, I went from about 100-110 down to 75 lbs in 4 months). The guy I was dating was abusive, and no matter how skinny I got, he called me fat. I've been fighting that internal battle ever since, trying to get his words out of my head, but they persist, and seeing myself with a stomach that isn't flat constantly makes me want to stop eating again. But I'm determined to do this the right way, and this woman has NO idea how hard it is for me. That comment just really bugged me. Maybe I should have discussed it with her, but I just couldn't. I may try the next time we're both on WoW.

Sorry for my first post being a rant, but I just had to get it off my chest. Has anyone else had someone make a comment similar to that one when they mention how much weight they're trying to lose?

An it harm none, do as ye will. Good words to live by.

www.change.org/petitions/create-cayl
ees-law


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