You are not alone! This will get better!
I struggled with bulimia as well, and while I will never consider myself fully "recovered," I do feel like I am in "remission."
First of all, are you getting help? Are you seeing a therapist or a doctor or a nutritionist? That is so crucial for getting better. Seeing a doctor is really scary and very humbling, but it's so important and it will help you so much. Do you have a primary care physician? Go seen him or her PRONTO. They will guide you from there.
Secondly, for me, bulimia is all about control. When you feel like your life is out of control, you look for one thing to control, and a lot of the time, that's what you eat. If that feels like it has gotten out of control, you feel a suddent urge to binge and then "regain control" by purging. At least that's how it was for me.
To get better, I focused on planning my meals and exercise-- gaining "control" over my eating. Having a daily calorie range really helps, because if you eat a big breakfast, you don't necessarily feel like you've blown it for the day and need to give up. I also focused on gaining "control" over my life. I put a lot of effort into my job and developing my friendships, which took my mind off of food. When I started to relapse, I went to my doc and he helped me control the stress that was causing it.
Most of all, surviving an ED is about having support. I am so lucky and blessed to have a husband who is incredibly patient, kind, and nonjudgemental about my patchy history of bulimia. It sounds cheesy, but his love and support help me get through when I'm having a difficult time.
Just know that you are not alone, and things will get better. Acknowledging the issue is the first step to success! In the meantime, feel free to message me whenever. SP is here to be your support system and help you get better!
| current weight: 150.0