Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
MJREIMERS's Photo MJREIMERS Posts: 3,766
3/2/13 8:45 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I've been married for almost 20 years and have four kids ages 12 to 17. I KNOW exactly what you are going through. My husband is a junk food junkie...cookies, chips, pop, etc. If he cooked he gave me the same portion that he ate.

That was almost 2 years and 40 lbs. ago! I live by moderation. I eat pizza, have a piece of candy, eat a dessert, but on MY terms. I make portions smaller and I log my food DAILY. I don't eat if I'm not hungry and I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. I also get up early to workout so I have NO EXCUSES.

I found new "habits." I eat a lot of "fresh." I love fruit and veggies. I snack on nuts and berries. Coffee is my vice and I put a squirt of Reddi Whip on top for a very low cal mocha. (You can add a chocolate flavored creamer or a chocolate drizzle on top, too.)

My husband's habit have not changed, but mine have. I'm still 40 lbs lighter and I feel great. I did this for ME and I'm so glad I did. (At one point if I had a craving or "thought" I was hungry when I really wasn't, I'd take a brisk walk for 15 minutes and I found the craving would pass.)

Good luck. Put your mind to it and just do it.




~Mako~


32 Days until:  Logan View 1/2 Marathon.
 
50
37
25
12
0
THECRAZYMANGO's Photo THECRAZYMANGO Posts: 6,468
3/2/13 1:33 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you everyone! Your advice and feedback has been very helpful. I think I might have forgot to tell you I am moving in with my boyfriend this weekend. Because I am terrified I am going to gain more weight back, I have been stressing about it alot as we sharing food. I am going to respond to the main tips that were given.

#1: Blacklist foods

I did this when I was losing weight for the first two years of my weight loss journey. Maybe it is time to blacklist them again. I actually found it either to say no all the time than try to eat only one piece of cake or one pizza. Before I know it, I have ate several. Good idea!

#2: Eat separate meals

I am not sure if this is workable when living with my boyfriend but I think this is a good approach to my parent's house. I never lose when I go there. I either maintain or gain. After five years, you would think I would have thought of this. Thank you for the suggestion!

#3: Minimize the portions of "bad" foods

I also did this during my journey. In the beginning, I would have DQ but it would be a small ice cream and I would walk there. So basically at the end of the day it didn't matter. Maybe I'll restrict myself to a small ice cream cone or mini blizzard. It's one of those foods that I must work into everyday life.

#4: Eat a salad

Great idea! I am actually am hoping to do this tomorrow. Like I said, we are moving this weekend and tomorrow we are ordering pizza (because it's quick and easy) for everyone. I am thinking of picking up a Caesar salad.

Again, emoticon



-Savannah

Not worth having is easy!




 current weight: 212.0 
 
215
198.75
182.5
166.25
150
LOGOULD's Photo LOGOULD SparkPoints: (90,198)
Fitness Minutes: (28,399)
Posts: 4,396
3/2/13 11:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I battle with the same thing. I have a sister (who I live with) that is considerably overweight and eats junk all the time...and has it all over the house. I am just having to learn to leave it alone and do the things that I need to do to take care of me. If that means leaving her sitting alone on the couch in front of the TV, so be it. I feel guilty sometimes, but overcoming those feelings is just a part of learning to maintain a lifestyle that allows be to feel healthy and look the way I like to for the rest of my life. I am learning that it is NOT selfish to take care of me. It is a learning process, but I have my Sparkfriends to help me through this part of the journey - learning to maintain what I worked so hard to lose! emoticon

"Success is the result of what you do when the Woo Hoo is all through....."-ON2VICTORY (Robert)

"The miracle isn't that I finished...the miracle is I had the courage to start." - John 'The Penguin



 current weight: 6.8  over
 
10
5
0
-5
-10
NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (206,337)
Fitness Minutes: (148,090)
Posts: 60,794
3/2/13 10:33 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
There was an interview on TV with Paula Deen on how she maintains her 40 pound loss. She said she eats everything she always did but less. Like one french fry with lunch. I can no more eat one french fry than I can fly. I can't even smell them without driving myself crazy. On the other hand, I can easily go years without eating ice cream or chocolate. I can make ice cream, bake with chocolate, and not be remotely tempted. But fried food? Just the smell of food sizzling in that hot bath sets up the craving that will take days to go away. I don't even walk into KFC for that reason. I avoid my triggers like the plague because I don't know if I have another recovery left in me.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


 current weight: -1.2  under
 
5
2.5
0
-2.5
-5
SUZYMOBILE's Photo SUZYMOBILE Posts: 9,870
3/2/13 10:19 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I know that there are supposed to be no forbidden foods, that we aren't on "a diet" here in maintenance, and so on. But I've personally found that, if I'm going to maintain successfully, I have to forbid myself certain foods--whether they're in the house or not. I can't remember, for instance, the last time I had a Big Mac, fritos, a donut, a muffin, pancakes, cookies. I've even started forbidding myself stuff like chicken wings and fried fish out at restaurants, now that I know how many calories they pack. I'll occasionally have one slice of pizza, but I have to watch that because pizza is a trigger food, and one slice can easily turn into four.

This might not be too helpful, because I'm basically telling you to just be strong, but that's part of what maintenance means for me. Eventually you do get used to simply not having some things. I don't feel wistful or miss them at all.

"Awareness is all."

"Letting go is much harder than fighting."
—SUZYMOBILE

"Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be."

“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” —Gilda Radner

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." --Reinhold Niebuhr


 current weight: 7.8  over
 
10
5
0
-5
-10
MOONCHILD8's Photo MOONCHILD8 Posts: 6,585
3/2/13 7:06 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi all, I have gained weight when I was unhappy and found comfort in food. I now watch what I eat and set aside calories for a special dinner out. My brother's B-day for example we will meet at a restaurant and I will order a chicken meal. I will take half home for the next day. Best wishes, Linda from bean town

Linda from bean town EST


 current weight: 125.0 
 
159
150.5
142
133.5
125
PHEBESS's Photo PHEBESS Posts: 32,025
3/2/13 3:26 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
When DH and I were dating, I gained 40 lbs in 6 months, and my cholesterol shot up 60 points! I finally took control and told him I had to eat differently than he was - so I'd bring food over to his house if I was staying over. I just couldn't keep eating burgers and fries and eggs and all that every time we were together.

"Dance as if no one is watching."


 Pounds lost: 45.0 
 
0
22.5
45
67.5
90
TINAJANE76's Photo TINAJANE76 SparkPoints: (62,453)
Fitness Minutes: (45,429)
Posts: 4,003
3/2/13 1:31 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I've been there, believe me! I gained more than 50 pounds after getting married in part trying to appeal to my non-weight conscious husband, and my parents' house is a virtual minefield of poor food choices just waiting to trigger serious binges for me.

Since I'm the primary shopper and cook at home, I was able to take control and make changes there without too much of a problem. I used to make separate meals for me and my husband, but have stopped doing that about 90% of the time. I make my healthy meals and he eats the same thing, just in larger quantities. I feel good that he's eating healthier, it's much easier on me from a weight management point of view and also in terms of time (making two separate meals is a lot of extra work!) and my husband's also lost about 10 pounds in the past few months without even trying. I focus on making flavorful food that I think we'll both enjoy and making sure I keep my portions in check. I also clearly explained to my husband why I need to eat healthily and make going to the gym a priority and that, although I'd much rather hang out on the couch with him, carving out time most days to get my workouts in and do food prep is important for my health and how I feel about myself. I wasn't happy with being nearly 100 pounds overweight even if it meant being able to eat what I wanted when I wanted and doing almost no physical activity.

I've learned to manage the atmosphere at my parents' house by either bringing in healthy food that I feel comfortable eating or offering to cook while I'm there and introducing my family to some of the healthy and tasty food I've shared with my husband. I don't think it's a coincidence that both of my parents and my two sisters have all also lost weight recently as well. Good habits have a way of catching on with other people if they see that eating and living well can actually be pleasurable and they're being led by example rather than being hit over the head with preachy messages about proper nutrition and exercise.

You might not be able to change the environment in your boyfriend's home, but you can change how you manage it and bring things into it that make you feel more comfortable. If you explain to your boyfriend why these things are really important to you, I'm sure he'll support your choices even if he doesn't explicitly participate in making them with you. We often have more power than we think in situations that seem beyond the scope of our control. I think we just have to assert ourselves in a positive but firm way so that we're equipped to make good choices while still enjoying the company of others.

Good luck!

Edited by: TINAJANE76 at: 3/2/2013 (01:41)
My name's Tina. I lost more than 90 pounds between March 2010 and March 2012 and have been keeping if off ever since.

Central European Time (CET), Venice, Italy


 current weight: -1.0  under
 
5
2.5
0
-2.5
-5
JOHN__'s Photo JOHN__ SparkPoints: (37)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 12
3/2/13 1:21 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Don't be afraid to blacklist the foods that set you off. If your response to a food is unmanageable, decide that it's no longer for you no matter where it is!

At the turning point for me, I decided there were foods that did not serve me well. I knew it would be difficult to hide from them, so I swore off of them. I decided to reinvent myself as a person who did not eat those foods. It's worked out very well. At work there has always been tempting stuff I can't avoid. Others are going to eat such things. They are no longer for me. I walk through the grocery and see whole aisles that no longer apply to me in any way. I do make sure I have some safe food around that meets my criteria. I had to develop new favorites. It's not workable to feel like you're depriving yourself either.

It sounds radical, I know. But it's the only strategy that works for me over the long-term. Avoid the triggers. They're generally lousy for me anyway. I really don't miss them much.

Find a very good reason to make the right decisions every day.


684 Maintenance Weeks
 
0
175
350
525
700
HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 7,980
3/1/13 10:00 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
For me the foods that always tempted me were sugar and wheat-containing foods. I was addicted to them. Once I eliminated them completely for about a month I was no longer tempted. I can now walk through the grocery stores and look at donuts and have no interest in them.
Birgit

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




 Body Fat %: 18.1
 
23.6
21.7
19.8
17.9
16
NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (206,337)
Fitness Minutes: (148,090)
Posts: 60,794
3/1/13 9:54 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
What would you do if your addictive substance were alcohol or heroin or pills? And your boyfriend was living with a user? Would you go over and take the risk? What would you do to avoid heroin or pills or booze if you were trying to kick? Believe me you wouldn't go to a bar or a drug party. People in substance recovery have to avoid that substance at all costs, because the price of failure is prison or death. Eating junk food won't kill you, true, but if the addiction is the same, then the solution would be the same. I take my addictions seriously. Just another way to look at it.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


 current weight: -1.2  under
 
5
2.5
0
-2.5
-5
MAREE1953's Photo MAREE1953 SparkPoints: (69,979)
Fitness Minutes: (90,823)
Posts: 1,265
3/1/13 9:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks for posting this question as I am learning a lot from reading the advice of others. I'm looking forward to checking out those recommended links.

My observation--the more you resist the junk/poor choices, the easier it becomes. People stop badgering you to have one of this or that when you just say "no thank you." The food loses its power over you; you become powerful over your life.

If you are interested in brain research, you will discover that what you are actually doing is re-wiring your brain. That's why they say that an action becomes a habit after 21 days. For us, we have had a lot of years of wiring to re-wire.

Best wishes!

 current weight: 3.9  over
 
5
2.5
0
-2.5
-5
SKIRNIR's Photo SKIRNIR Posts: 5,180
3/1/13 8:55 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I think you have to do the best you can. I live in a household with a husband and son who can eat whatever they want and they are a bit underweight. I lost 50 pounds two years ago, and I am the shortest at 5 foot 3 and weight about 121, wearing a size 6 and they are 5 foot 9 and 5 foot 6 and 118 and 110ish. So I know it can be difficult, very difficult. I keep around snack foods to encourage them to eat a bit, to be honest and cause I know they like it. But I have to track everything I eat to the best of my ability and I have to exercise every day whether I feel like it or not. Why? Because I have food and weight issues. I love food. But I have to enjoy what I have, and count those calories. What are my main tips? First, know these are for me, and may not be the same for you.

1. I can't let myself ever get too hungry. If I get too hungry, I make bad choices, and even if I make good choices, I eat too much of it, as it takes too long for my stomach to register it. So, I snack a bit. I have 3 meals and about 2 snacks per day.
2. I save a fair amount of my calories for the one meal that we have as a family, dinner. It is the meal I spend the most time cooking and just want to save the calories for it. Maybe it is more that I am just used to a larger dinner meal.
3. If you aren't the cooker, try and have a salad before you meal, if it is a problem meal for you. IE I track enough and use the same recipes that I know which meals cause me problems and I try harder for those meals to stop eating before I am quite satisfied. I can always snack a bit, if I am not over calorie after I track. Maybe suggest some alternative cooking suggestions/substitutions for his cooking. Leaner cuts of meat, or less oil preparations, etc.
4. Try and keep around some low calorie filling snacks. For me this is splenda sweetened yogurt and baby carrots to go with hummus. Snacks that can help you when you don't have calories left, but need to eat. I would rather go over calorie when I am hungry, then try and stay in calorie and binge. Way too easy to binge when I have cookies (my one girl scout cookie box per year, and mini oreos bag), chocolate, ice cream and chex mix around.
5. Oh, chewing gum also helps me a fair amount when I am not busy but want to chew on something.


3/31/12 Trailbreaker half marathon 13.1 miles in 3 hours 13 minutes
4/20/13 Neighborhood Watch 5K 39:17.6
10/5/13 5K Grace Pet Fest 38:47.6
12/1/13 Secret City Half Marathon around 3 hours and 4 minutes
4/19/14 Butterflies for Hope 5K for Lupus 39:23.8 (I hurt my back a few days before, and though it was my first official 5K with some jogging, my back hurt, so was very slow.)


 current weight: 7.3  over
 
10
5
0
-5
-10
NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (206,337)
Fitness Minutes: (148,090)
Posts: 60,794
3/1/13 8:50 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Has anyone ever noticed that after marriage if a man gains weight, marriage "must agree with him", but if a woman gains weight, she has "let herself go"?

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


 current weight: -1.2  under
 
5
2.5
0
-2.5
-5
CINDILP's Photo CINDILP SparkPoints: (78,562)
Fitness Minutes: (60,115)
Posts: 10,831
3/1/13 8:34 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
When I was single I followed something called Diet Center. I lost weight following the program religiously. Then I got married and gained weight. The same thing would happen at other times in my life with other plans. Then I had kids or I had a job change. And I couldn't keep up the strict eating plan I was following. Or the exercise plan I was doing and I gained weight back. Now, my plan is to make something I can live with and modify as I need to. I have programs I like, but don't follow anything religiously. I've made changes I can live with and modify as my life and needs change. It's important that you make something that you can live with and modify. It would be terrible to have to live alone and not have some of the joys that come from relationships or a sought after job because it would upset my eating plan. From looking at your Sparkpage you've come a long ways. Modify your program to include those you want to spend time with. Work your exercise in and you'll have the best of both worlds.

Cindiï

Team leader:
Careers
Funny, I Don't FEEL 50 (or 60 - it's all good)!
Parents of ADHD Children
The United Methodist Team.
Sonoma Diet
Social Workers, Counselors and Therapists




 current weight: 170.0 
 
178
171
164
157
150
FISHPOND7's Photo FISHPOND7 Posts: 1,191
3/1/13 7:49 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Can you imagine living the rest of your life in your present "controlled" environment, worrying every day that when real life comes along you will blow it and gain weight. No wonder you are having a problem. You've been in a self-made prison for a while. I truly understand because I've been in that prison and it is very difficult to live life like a normal person, truly free, without gaining weight. But, good news, it is possible.
First, I think you should read the book or watch the youtube on something like "The Pleasure Trap" so you will understand WHY it is so hard to resist the chips and other stuff that is calling your name when you are at your bf's. Here's the youtube version:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxf4kj8Rb6Y

Then, after you see what is really going on with the junk, and why it calls your name, find out about calorie density, and how to use it's principles to make life sane, even when over at your bf's. Here's a link:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gTLpTq1nQk

You can find out more about calorie density at Jeff Novick's website, and look under newsletters where he has tons of good information, and even more details about calorie density. Once you get the principle of CD then you will be free from all the rigid controls you've put on yourself.
jeffnovick.com/RD/Home.html


And one more thing, a special gift to make life easier, a great video by Doug Lisle, entitled "How to lose weight without losing your mind."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdqLB6bTuQ

I hope this is helpful to you. I wish you much luck and much success. I know you've worked hard to get to where you are today. I know you can reach your goal. God bless.

Beth

Edited by: FISHPOND7 at: 3/1/2013 (19:55)
~ Beth~

You can exercise until the cows come home, but unless you also eat right you'll still be a cow coming home.

"Right is right, even if everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.” William Penn, circa 1686


 current weight: 146.6 
 
155
151.25
147.5
143.75
140
THECRAZYMANGO's Photo THECRAZYMANGO Posts: 6,468
3/1/13 7:03 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Okay, I need YOUR help.

When I initially lost weight, I controlled my own environment because I lived alone. I did not buy foods that were bad for me. And I didn't have to feel guilty for leaving someone home because they didn't want to work out.

I have gained 10-15 and ready to kick them.

I am recognizing that I have a problem. Basically, the environment changes when I go to my boyfriend. I cannot control that there are bad foods (i.e. chips, donuts) even through his mom is diabetic. She is the one that brings the crap home. I have been weak and been eating them. This needs to stop. Also, my boyfriends says he is supportive in my weight loss. It is a case of wanting a good looking gf but not wanting to pay the price for it. He says I look good, blah, blah and doesn't care if I work out.

My question for YOU is this...

For those that had to battle an non-supporting, unhealthy environment, how did you do it? Any tricks or tips for me?

-Savannah

Not worth having is easy!




 current weight: 212.0 
 
215
198.75
182.5
166.25
150
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other At Goal & Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics: Last Post:
TANYAP71 has maintained for TWO YEARS! 10/25/2013 9:04:00 PM
Daily check in 5/17 5/18/2014 9:05:04 PM
Daily check in 6/9 6/12/2013 10:22:11 PM
Daily check in 9/28 10/1/2013 3:46:34 PM
BREWMASTERBILL has maintained for FOUR YEARS! 2/2/2014 6:32:22 PM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x1111x52344861

Review our Community Guidelines