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TOPIC:   Do my eyes deceive me? 


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NELLJONES
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8/26/12 6:55 P

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I remember reading long ago an article about the models used by Lane Bryant, one of the few places large size women used to be able to buy clothes. Their customers complained that the models were size 10 or 12, when Lane Bryant's clothing was only 14 and up. Lane Bryant executives said they had done endless studies and focus groups, and found that when they used larger sized models, people avoided the stores. They wanted the illusion that clothing could "make them look like that". I think it's a common dream of buyers, sure was for me back in the day. Stores used artists to show their fashion clothing instead of real people because the artist can make the waist look tiny and the bust look shapely, and I'd think it must be the dress and I'd look like that if I bought it. Alas.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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NANCYANNE55
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8/26/12 5:34 P

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I get what you are saying (and never did understand the piercing of baby ears, either. Or circumcision, for that matter, but I realize I am in the minority with that one.), but might I just point out that "plus-sized" models are typically size 10-12. That's why I was thinking what I read would be right- It wasn't inconceivable to me that with her curves she could have been a 10, even by today's standards.

Edited by: NANCYANNE55 at: 8/26/2012 (17:34)
Nancy Anne

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TINAJANE76
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8/26/12 4:54 P

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The difference is huge if you compare the pattern sizing chart to the sizing charts from The Gap or Old Navy (whose clothes run huge and I think are even bigger than the charts indicate):

www.gap.com/customerService/info.do?cid=23
12#Wtops&mlink=,2452895&clink=2452895


My name's Tina. I lost more than 90 pounds between March 2010 and March 2012 and have been keeping if off ever since.

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SKIRNIR
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8/26/12 4:32 P

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Nancy: I just had a hard time believing she would have worn a size 16, so had to look it up and found that rather interesting myself. Even though I admit, we have a strange view of what is beautiful if models are required to be 5'8". No wonder some of us feel overweight when we aren't. The things we see as great bodies and beautiful bodies on tv or magazines, just aren't real. (I remember a discussion of a spark people logo avatar with way too thin a waste.) Why are we all surrounded by such things that just aren't possible and why do we think it doesn't have an affect on our thinking? I have always thought I was immune to most of culture, but we aren't entirely. I hated when I saw girls at my son's daycare who were less than kindergarten age and all they wanted to be was princesses, or something that looked beautiful. Why do people have the ears of babies pierced? Why are we all so hung up on how we look? (And yes, that includes me too. Before I lost the weight, I didn't give much thought about how I looked, except to think that I didn't look good. Now that I do look better, I still hate how I look. I hate my hair, my butt, my stomach and my thighs. Ugggh.)

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NANCYANNE55
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8/26/12 3:41 P

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Skirnir- Very interesting site! Thank you!

I was going off of what I had read one time. I wasn't aware of all of that and spoke out of turn. My apologies. emoticon

Nancy Anne

My blog, about my personal experience and opinions of fitness related stuff: itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/


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NELLJONES
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8/26/12 3:24 P

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Rounder was the norm for models back in the day, just not fat. The big name models were Suzy Parker and Jean Patchett, were well rounded but slender. Check out the first Bond girls from the early 60s. Then in the 60s came Twiggy, who shocked the world by her tiny size and androgynous shape. It's only been in the last 20 years or so that the toned, muscled look has been popular for women. When I was a kid, women in movies sat back while men saved them. Now the women fight equally with the men. Our cultures eyes and expectations of what constitutes beauty has changed.

It's the sizing numbers that drive me crazy. I have a size 8 skirt from 1980 that still fits. Just over the last 10 years, I have bought Gap jeans that are 4, 2, 1, 0, and 00 this year, but all of them fit the same and I wear all of them. They are all the same measurements as that 1980 size 8 skirt. I guess clothing manufacturers don't assume that there are really cheap people like me who keep clothing for 30+ years, because that's the only way to tell. Of course, you have to stay the same weight for those 30 or 40 years, and I guess they don't assume that, either.

PS: Only this year in a closet purge did I get rid of tie dyes and jackets with big padded shoulders. Of course, now that I've tossed them they'll come back into style.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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SKIRNIR
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8/26/12 2:04 P

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Reading a website on Marilyn Monroe's body measurements and it sounds like she would not be a plus size model today, but still reading.

www.fatnutritionist.com/index.php/the-body
-of-marilyn-monroe/


3/31/12 Trailbreaker half marathon 13.1 miles in 3 hours 13 minutes
4/20/13 Neighborhood Watch 5K 39:17.6
10/5/13 5K Grace Pet Fest 38:47.6
12/1/13 Secret City Half Marathon, hopefully in under 3 hours!


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NANCYANNE55
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8/26/12 1:37 P

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Tina, yes, they made smaller than size 10. That size chart was just for the larger-sized pattern.

Also, just to show how skewed the fashion industry is from reality, Marilyn Monroe would now be considered a plus-sized model.

Edited by: NANCYANNE55 at: 8/26/2012 (13:38)
Nancy Anne

My blog, about my personal experience and opinions of fitness related stuff: itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/


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NANCYANNE55
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8/26/12 1:34 P

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Nell- I just checked a current jacket pattern I am making against the size 50's size chart TinaJane posted below. While the bust measurements stayed the same, the waist and hips are now larger. The waist in a current 4 is 22', which was the waist measurement for a 1950's size 10. A current size 10 hip is 34 1/2 inches, which is what a 12 was in the 50's.

That says a lot about where we are gaining our weight- a little in our hips, a LOT in our stomachs.

Having said all of that, patterns are still sized a lot smaller than ready-to-wear. I'm sewing a jacket in a 16 at the bust, 12 at the waist, and halfway between a 16 and 18 at the hip. In RTW I'm an 8.

Edited by: NANCYANNE55 at: 8/26/2012 (13:38)
Nancy Anne

My blog, about my personal experience and opinions of fitness related stuff: itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/


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LJR4HEALTH
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8/26/12 12:58 P

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Peri Great topic to bring up by all means you are not alone ! Its very hard to get used to a smaller "you" when we are use to a bigger a person I yo yo all over the place I really dislike what the fashion industry has done to clothes sizes it gives us such a false sense of security with our weight ! I was relying on my measurements (which felt like a good way to go) until my PCP throw a monkey wrench in it for me Now has given me a complex once again of being an obese person with a major amount of weight ot lose again.

Marilyn Monroe had a body I'd kill for emoticon and in this day age she would be label as a very over weight person because of the size clothing she wore.

Thanks Angela and Tina for those link very interesting information

Linda (Florida - Eastern Standard Time )

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NELLJONES
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8/26/12 11:55 A

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I have a 26 1/2 inch waist and wear a 00. That's ridiculous! Going down Memory Lane, does anyone remember Trish Nixon and her size 3? That was the smallest size available, and there were precious few 4's in adult clothing. I remember Nancy Reagan complaining that she found it hard to find small clothing that didn't have bows and other insignias of youth.

Anyone remember the Half Sizes for larger women? I wonder who dreamed that up? It must have been a man.

As far as I'm concerned there are only two sizes: fits and doesn't fit. Well fitting clothing, no matter the size, looks great.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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TINAJANE76
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8/26/12 11:46 A

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Maybe this is why Marilyn is often cited as being a "curvy" woman when she was never really that big. A 12 or 14 in the 1950s would be a 4 or 6 in most shops today.

My name's Tina. I lost more than 90 pounds between March 2010 and March 2012 and have been keeping if off ever since.

Central European Time (CET), Venice, Italy


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TINAJANE76
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8/26/12 11:42 A

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I was really interested in the correlation to today's sizes and found this:

www.flickr.com/photos/7532690@N05/43941224
1/


Did they even make sizes smaller than 10 in the 1950s? Seems like there wouldn't have been too many women with waists smaller than 22". I guess today's vanity sizing reflects our obsession with seeing lower numbers.

My name's Tina. I lost more than 90 pounds between March 2010 and March 2012 and have been keeping if off ever since.

Central European Time (CET), Venice, Italy


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CELIAMINER
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8/26/12 11:38 A

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CSRobertson, I agree you look great in your picture! Ask Nell what it's like to be in the 00 range and try to find clothes that fit.

Nell, your comment that Marilyn Monroe's fabulous figure was a size 12 in the old sizing was a real eye opener!

Celia
Maintaining since May 19, 2012


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NELLJONES
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8/26/12 11:30 A

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If you want to know what old sizing was, look at the measurement on sewing patterns. They haven't changed. Marilyn Monroe was famously 36-26-36: a perfect size 12.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


 current weight: -0.4  under
 
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NANCYANNE55
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8/26/12 11:03 A

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That's so funny, because I just had someone comment on my page that they thought 150 was a very low number for my height. And here we are, saying it's amazing I can weigh that much (as in, high), and be a size 6.

Of course, sizes are more generous now, so I am sure that factors in.

Edited by: NANCYANNE55 at: 8/26/2012 (11:03)
Nancy Anne

My blog, about my personal experience and opinions of fitness related stuff: itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/


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TINAJANE76
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8/26/12 7:19 A

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That's what weight training can do for you! You'll weigh more but look like you weigh MUCH less!

My name's Tina. I lost more than 90 pounds between March 2010 and March 2012 and have been keeping if off ever since.

Central European Time (CET), Venice, Italy


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NANCYANNE55
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8/25/12 10:58 P

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At 5'9" and 160 I'm a size 8, which still boggles my mind. When I get down close to 150 I'm a 4, sometimes a 2. So I believe it!

Nancy Anne

My blog, about my personal experience and opinions of fitness related stuff: itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/


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SKIRNIR
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8/25/12 10:37 P

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CSRobertson: You look great in that dress. Wowsers! Don't loose anymore allright. Hey, you can't expect at 5'7" to weigh what someone at 5'3" should weigh. Don't be hard on yourself. You really look great and hopefully feel great too.

3/31/12 Trailbreaker half marathon 13.1 miles in 3 hours 13 minutes
4/20/13 Neighborhood Watch 5K 39:17.6
10/5/13 5K Grace Pet Fest 38:47.6
12/1/13 Secret City Half Marathon, hopefully in under 3 hours!


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CSROBERTSON621
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8/25/12 10:25 P

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It took me a long time to get used to seeing the "current" me. At least since becoming overweight in my teens, I've thought of myself as having a large frame. But apparrently not!

I still have a lot of trouble guaging how small I am compared to other people. I am about to be in my sister's wedding, and I was trying on dresses with the other bridesmaid, who I have always thought of as trim (and she is), but who is about a size 8 compared to my current size 2/4. In my head, I'm not any smaller than she is (and actually even thinking I'm the same size as her took some mental gymnastics -- I've known her for a decade and have always been MUCH larger) -- but in the mirror I looked really *tiny* next to her. (It's really different frame sizes -- she's a little shorter but larger framed.) Really hard to get my head around that -- it almost felt like a fun-house mirror. (Of course, Iike someone else pointed out, I really didn't "see" how fat I'd gotten at the other end, either -- until one day I was out shopping with my sister in Georgetown and saw us in a shop window -- she looked like herself, and I looked ENORMOUS. In my head, I had always thought I was only "a little" bigger than her. This was silly, as she's about a size 10, and I was getting too fat for my size 22Ws. But O.M.G. -- was that an eye-opener!!)

Part of it for me, I think, is that the scale still shows a relatively high number compared to my physical size -- about 150 (usually somewhere between 147 and 153), and I'm 5'7". Although that's at the high end of a "normal" BMI at my height, that's a size 2/4 on me, depending on the brand (the dress in my profile pic is a Banana Republic size 2). Had a DEXA and found I have a lot of lean body mass (dense bones, good amount of muscle), and a lower than average amount of fat, so it's all good. But the number on the scale still bugs me for some reason - like I'm not a *legit* size 4 unless I weigh like 125. But I'd be like a 00 at that weight! Plus, I'm worried about losing some of that good lean mass if I tried. And yet, I'm still considering it -- just because of what the scale says! Crazy! (Ok, and also because I think my legs are still too heavy for my size. But I don't seem to lose easily from there -- my bones actually start showing in my chest at 145, and my face gets too thin and boobs disappear by 140, but do my legs get smaller? Nope.)

Starting Weight: 260 lbs. (November 2010)
Quasi-Maintenance: 165 lbs. (June 2011)
Goal Weight: 150 lbs. (reached December 8, 2011)

Size 22W to Size 4

Currently maintaining within 5 lbs. (+ or -) of goal. I weigh daily, but also use a tape measure and the fit of my clothes to guage how well I'm doing.


NELLJONES
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8/25/12 7:10 P

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Putting weight back on intentionally is harder than maintaining. When my hubby had his stroke in 2010, his care had me so stressed out I dropped below 100. I had to put 3 pounds back on. Sounds like a dream task, but it's hard. I had to carefully use a little more butter on my toast and a little more oil in my cooking rather than eating pastries (my first choice) because that 3 would become 30 in no time.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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MOBYCARP
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8/25/12 7:09 P

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Yes, my eyes deceive me. I don't know that it rises to the level of a psychological disorder, but it's a real phenomenon. I can see my true shape in photos more easily than in the mirror.

I lived the early part of my adult life at a healthy weight, without paying much attention to anything. After marriage, the weight came on; there was a period when I was routinely maintaining for 11 months and gaining 5 pounds in December. It doesn't take very many years of that to become overweight . . . but my body image didn't keep up with the weight gain.

As I think about it, I'd guess my body image gradually crept up from 32" waist ~165 lbs. to 36" waist ~190 lbs. over the course of two decades. The ups and downs I've had with weight loss over the last decade didn't affect how I viewed my body much at all. The concentrated attention I've put into it since joining SparkPeople has had a bigger impact.

I'm just now beginning to think of a 32" waist as normal again. I'm just now getting used to not having a roll of belly fat. Looking in the mirror, I still sometimes think I see a little belly fat; but I can also see abs. How crazy is that?

With the wise advice from my sister, ONEKIDSMOM, I took some "before" pictures not long into the journey. Right now, I have a before and after picture on my spark page. I no longer see myself as shaped like the before; but I don't think I really see myself as being quite as trim as the after. Give me some time maintaining, and that will come. I hope.

This thread helps me some. While I haven't lost as much weight as many of you (58 to 60 pounds from all time peak to now, depending on which day's weight I believe), I have lost enough that my body perception lags. This isn't a big a phenomenon for me as some of you describe, but it seems to be similar in quality.


- Kevin

"Discipline is remembering what you want. " - David Campbell

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MJREIMERS
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8/25/12 6:50 P

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I've been there, too. I am 5' 8" and was down to 130 lbs. A total of 45 lbs lost. I was bony! Colleagues were asking if I was done losing and even my husband thought I was too thin. I put some back on and it soon became 20 lbs. Now I think I'm "just right." I am around 140 lbs and try to stay between 140-145 lbs. I feel good about myself and I can still eat! It is a very fine line at times!

~Mako~


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CELIAMINER
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8/25/12 6:08 P

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Peri, thank you for starting this topic, and SparkBuds, thank you for all your supportive responses! I, too, go back and forth. Some days I look in the mirror and like what I see. Other days I wake up in a panic, convinced that I've gained all the weight back, and when I start the day feeling fat, there's not much that will convince me otherwise. Bless you all for sharing your stories, so we know our insecurities are not isolated.

Celia
Maintaining since May 19, 2012


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RUSSLANE
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8/25/12 3:48 P

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Sorry, everytime I see that MSNBC article I wince a little, but this isn't about that.

Lately I've been training to compete in an amateur boxing match, taking my fitness to a level I never dreamed of. And like when I did the marathon, of began cardio boxing, or anytime I seriously stepped it up, I've been a mess.

Night eating (I NEVER eat ice cream. I"m a savory compulsory eater), feeling like I'm overtraining and exhausted, I can't do what I need to do for my legs because I'm so busy punching.

Meanwhile my gym -- including the very few people who've supported me up to this point -- keep on talking about how I work out at a "white collar" boxing gym and all I hear is I can't do it.

Then folks see I'm putting on bodyfat and think "Oh, he's not maintaining!" (the flip side to being as vocal as I am in the hopes that People Get It.). My best buddy is bringing pizza into the house and leaving it around. No support.

*Laughs* Everything I see around me is wrong, wrong wrong and no one's interested in solutions. Including myself, sometimes; it's very hard not to drown in frustration (doesn't count my money situation, or where I'm going to live, or getting the setup I need to actually get the public thinking about maintaining).

For all my whining, then I look in the mirror and think "my god, boxing is ruining my body. Forget a busted nose!" and there's no way I can do it. Other times all I can see are my legs, other times I look as I'm used to looking.

Weirdest thing about all this, isn't it? It takes losing a lot of weight to really dramatize the differences between perception and reality, and perhaps what we've all been trying to do has nothing to really do with with "Weight" but actually change our lives.

That's 10 years since beginning to lose weight, my anniversary will be in January.

In terms of my current funk, I know I'll get through it because I always do. I just don't know how at this point considering resources are low.

Point being: the only person who decided whether I'm maintaining is me, not the assholes at the gym, the scale, or anyone else. But I don't think that body disorder ever really leaves you; you make peace with it, and deal with it in new ways every time you seek to take things to a new level.

And in my personal experience, longterm maintenance almost demands constantly taking things (simple or big) to a new level. Probably the hardest part.

In terms of solutions, I'm in "physician, heal thyself" mode at the moment so I"m not sure I have one. Beyond realizing my mind is not my friend, and the only "support" (a word brandied around often) really boils down to having people believe you can achieve even when you don't. That's when it matters.

And constantly reminding yourself that you're more than your body or how well/not well anything's going.

Edited by: RUSSLANE at: 8/25/2012 (16:05)
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NELLJONES
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8/25/12 2:37 P

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Peri, I hope you realize what a huge change in attitude you have had!! It happens so incrementally it's hard to realize, but it real nonetheless.

The first step in all of the 12 step programs is to realize you have a problem. Sounds so simple doesn't it? When you look back it's obvious, but it can take years just to see it. Then comes the day by day deciding if you want to change, then finding out how to change, then realizing that you can change, then going about the process of changing, and each of those processes takes time, sometimes a lot of time. The process of becoming patient doesn't have a cookbook set of steps, just day by day reminding and adjusting, sometimes doing things by rote, sometimes doing something different, and all of that takes time. You will get to see yourself as you are physically, then see where you want to go next. One step, one day at a time, but you WILL get there.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


 current weight: -0.4  under
 
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PERIWINKLE88
PERIWINKLE88's Photo SparkPoints: (5,700)
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8/25/12 1:41 P

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After reading these replies and thinking about it some more, I think that the main problem is that my eyes are slow to catch up to my body. After all, when I weighed 197 pounds (on a 5'3" frame--well into the "obese" range)--I didn't usually see myself as fat, or think of myself that way. I would honestly be surprised when the airline seatbelt had trouble fitting over my belly or when my size 22 pants didn't fit anymore. I looked at pictures of myself a couple times and didn't think it was me--or rationalized that it was the angle, bad lighting, etc. And then I stopped getting my picture taken, LOL!

It took a gentle nudge from my husband to wake me up and help me see that I was becoming unattractive, and worse, unhealthy. I'm not sure how long I would have gone on without seeing it myself. Probably pretty long--my capacity for denial was pretty stellar.

But now I think that same phenomena is happening in reverse. It's hard to really "see" the new me. I see myself in a mirror, but it's like the image has my old self superimposed on top of it. I can sometimes see myself realistically, but it's like a hologram--if I'm not careful and the angle shifts a bit I see the old me instead. Does that make any sense??!! Sounds like I'm not the only one who is experiencing/has experienced this.

Then there's the other issue of not being happy with my *actual* body now that I'm nearing my goal weight. I think the answer to that is to keep pushing my fitness. Because I've lost weight relatively quickly, my body really hasn't gotten very fit or athletic. I've concentrated on running as a way to lose the weight, but that has come at the expense of strength training. Now that I'm nearing my goal weight range, I want to shift to a new goal of becoming more toned and strong. I'm going to start doing weight training on my non-running days, which I hope will decrease my body fat and help give me some muscles and definition.

One thing I'm coming to realize is that once maintenance starts, it's not the end of goals. I can still develop fitness goals (lifting more, getting stronger, decreasing body fat, running faster) even though those goals don't involve losing weight. And it will come with an added benefit of helping me like what I see in the mirror (and as time goes on I think what I see will also, slowly, become more realistic).

~Peri

Edited by: PERIWINKLE88 at: 8/25/2012 (17:29)
Lost 65 pounds just in time for my 40th birthday. Now maintaining my weight loss, training for a half marathon and lifting weights seriously. Love my body and love my life. It was all worth it!


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MJZHERE
Posts: 624
8/25/12 11:43 A

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Thank you, Holly! I really do appreciate that.


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HOLLY255255
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8/25/12 11:36 A

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Muzhere - I agree - anyone that is 5'7 and in the 120's HAS to look good!!

Holly/Texas. Time Zone: CST; Don't do anything today you can't maintain for the rest of your life; Studies show a mere 11 minutes of weight training 3 times a week is enough to reduce your body fat and raise your metabolism.


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MJZHERE
Posts: 624
8/25/12 10:20 A

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I was glad to see this post because of all my past experiences of losing weight. This time my goal was to lose weight so that my appearance would not be an issue - I remember times from the past fondly when I was thin that I just lived my life - appearance was not an issue (which changes when I gain - have yo-yoed my entire life). Yet I have never ever thought of myself as thin or as looking good (even when I was young), though I look at past pictures and see that I did. But while on this journey, I changed my mind and though I hit my original goal of 135, I have decided to lose 6 more lbs (5 now). I made a decision that this time not only would I not yo-yo (which I never addressed before), but also that I would tell myself that I look good - yes - "Girl, you look good!." I realize that in the past, few said anything when I looked good, but I did hear when I was gaining. So, as part of my program to maintain, I am looking in the mirror saying I look good and intend to keep it up until my eyes and mind catch up. The extra 6 lb loss is to say to me, at 5'7", anyone in the 120's has got to look good!


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SWEDE_SU
SWEDE_SU's Photo SparkPoints: (43,059)
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8/24/12 11:43 P

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i've also been doing double takes as i walk past mirrors. we had a party last night, and the comments were generally that i'm "disappearing". these are people who have known me for 40 years, dating back to before kids.

ever since my early 20s, when i first crossed the 100 lb mark (i'm 5'2"), i thought my stomach was too big. if i could only lose a little more weight, i'd get rid of that stomach. even DH would comment, you're looking really good, but you could stand to lose a few more lbs to get rid of that stomach.

yesterday i commented to him that the best part about my new weight was wysiwyg - at 102.4, the same weight i was in my 20s, that stomach is what it is, post 3 kids, post up to 60 lbs more than what i weigh today and several trips up and down on the weight yoyo - i'll do my miles and my crunches, but no one can say to me that i could still lose a couple more lbs to get rid of my stomach. finally.

live every day so the border collie is happy for a good, active life!
"i run because i can" coach nicole!
"I AM A RUNNER because I run. Not because I run fast. Not because I run far." john bingham
"Right here, right now, right choice" cannie50!

susan
WA state
PNW time zone
+3 hours difference from EST


SW march 25: 123
GOAL met may 15: 111.0
GOAL met june 11: 108
GOAL met august 13, 2012: 103
maintenance goal: 105


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SKIRNIR
SKIRNIR's Photo Posts: 5,129
8/24/12 10:41 P

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Holly: I also think that people are used to our larger selves and so they think we are too thin now. I have had at least one or two people make jokes about me blowing away in a big wind and coming out and telling me not to loose anymore weight. But I honestly think it is more they are used to the larger us and to them the smaller us is shocking to their brains. What I like is when I am with people who didn't know me before, I will say something like, no I shouldn't have a cookie. And they will look at me and say doesn't look like you need to worry about that. My response is something to the affect I lost 50 pounds about 1.5 years ago and I intend to keep it off. They seem to laugh then. I am always afraid they will take it as rude to not eat their goodies. But I think my response is good.

3/31/12 Trailbreaker half marathon 13.1 miles in 3 hours 13 minutes
4/20/13 Neighborhood Watch 5K 39:17.6
10/5/13 5K Grace Pet Fest 38:47.6
12/1/13 Secret City Half Marathon, hopefully in under 3 hours!


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HOLLY255255
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8/24/12 9:31 P

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Over my vacation, my sister told me she thought I had body dysmorphic disorder. I sure hope she was kidding. I don't see myself as thin although everyone constantly tells me that I look like I weight nothing now. She told me this because she took a picture of me on her smart phone and I said - that is a terrible picture, look at how big my arms lool. She wanted to hit me.

I think taking progress pictures as noted in an earlier post would be a good idea. I am starting to think that I am too skinny given what everyone is saying. But I think the reality is that everyone is use to seeing everyone "big", so someone in a healthy range looks tiny.

Edited by: HOLLY255255 at: 8/24/2012 (21:33)
Holly/Texas. Time Zone: CST; Don't do anything today you can't maintain for the rest of your life; Studies show a mere 11 minutes of weight training 3 times a week is enough to reduce your body fat and raise your metabolism.


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RUSSLANE
RUSSLANE's Photo Posts: 401
8/24/12 8:36 P

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4a, that MSNBC article still hurts -- I talked with that reporter for an hour and blew her mind, only for the editor to cut me out because it was a "women's health" article. I.e. no men allowed.

But yeah, especially training for boxing and eating and sleep going bonkers and out of my maintenance range while feeling the effects of what seems to be overttraining, it's kicking in bigtime.

Best,
Russ Lane

Fight for the Good Stuff

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www.nwcr.ws/default.htm Vive La Resistance!


NELLJONES
NELLJONES's Photo SparkPoints: (187,404)
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8/24/12 8:23 P

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And don't forget the clothes!! When I was fat, I thought I could hide it with mumus and big baggy shirts. This was the beginning of the mini-skirt era so I stood out but in the usual self-involved way, didn't realize it. I wasn't hiding anything but thought I did. At normal weight, clothes are my friend! I can de-emphasize my non-existent waist, cover my upper thighs, show off my face, neck and chest. There are a million ways to dress available to me now and I love the way I can look in clothes.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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TINAJANE76
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8/24/12 7:55 P

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I'm constantly going through the same thing. I have moments when I'm really happy with how I look (most often after a good workout) and other moments when I feel like a blob (often when I'm sedentary). Like NANCYANNE55, it's part of the reason why I take progress photos. I might have 'fat' days or 'thin' days where my mind plays tricks on me, but having photographic evidence of how I look gives me a real idea of where I am. Fortunately, I'm almost always happy with what I see these days compared to when I used to hide from the camera.

My name's Tina. I lost more than 90 pounds between March 2010 and March 2012 and have been keeping if off ever since.

Central European Time (CET), Venice, Italy


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GOING4MUSCLE
GOING4MUSCLE's Photo Posts: 5,214
8/24/12 7:11 P

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"And remember, as the years go by, other people will forget what you used to look like. They'll adjust, just like you will, to the new normal."

This is what is beginning to happen with me. People at work, now, are always saying they barely even remember me at the heavier size. How I look, now, is their"new normal". I'm pretty much there, myself, but there are times I do the double takes, especially when it comes to my face.

It IS a bit frustrating, though, how there are still times, where my eye just gets a little too focused on the *minor* details of my body. If only this was a little flatter. Or this was a little higher. Sure my body is not perfect..how could it be after having a baby and gaining and losing so many times. But, then common sense kicks back in and I remind myself that EVERYONE is critical of their shapes, even if they've never had any weight issues or babies.

And I think I look pretty darn good, especially for being 50!emoticon

**~**Shelly**~**

Starting Weight: 185lbs
Current Weight: 116lbs

Maintenance: 5yrs
Maintenance Range: 112lbs - 117lbs















MYSTERY-LADY1
MYSTERY-LADY1's Photo Posts: 10,050
8/24/12 6:51 P

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Make "YOU" a priority today!





PHEBESS
PHEBESS's Photo Posts: 31,165
8/24/12 3:49 P

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Right after losing 40-45 lbs, I saw myself in a mirror at a store - not the trying-on-clothes kind of mirror, just a large mirror in back of the checkout area. And it took a moment to recognize myself - seriously, I didn't really remember that this nice looking, slightly chunky woman was me! Because in my head I was remembering the very chubbed out moon-faced me of 45 lbs ago! It was the weirdest thing to suddenly see myself in a new way!

To remind myself of how far I've come, I sometimes take my skinny jeans and put them on the bed, zipped closed. Then I take an old pair of my fat baggy shorts, and put them next to the jeans. THAT shows me how much smaller I am now! (Not that I'm at goal - but going from size 22 to size 16 is a huge thing, and I need to keep reminding myself of that.)

"Dance as if no one is watching."


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NELLJONES
NELLJONES's Photo SparkPoints: (187,404)
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8/24/12 2:55 P

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Paula, In Jean Nidetch's book The Story of Weight Watchers, she says she'd gotten used to just looking at herself above the neck when looking in a mirror. She always wanted nice hats, and "something going on at the neckline". It took her awhile to get used to looking at the whole mirror.

And remember, as the years go by, other people will forget what you used to look like. They'll adjust, just like you will, to the new normal. That is primarily why I stay close to Spark. Other people don't realize how much care it takes to maintain "normal".

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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SKIRNIR
SKIRNIR's Photo Posts: 5,129
8/24/12 2:03 P

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I will say what the others have said. You are not alone. I have been at goal weight for 1.5 years after loosing just over 50 pounds. What is weird is a part of me is more dissatisfied with my body then I was before I lost the weight. I keep reminding myself of what my body can do now that it couldn't do before. I have walked a half marathon, biked 40 miles at one time, etc. But in my minds eye, I am still the short overweight person I always was. Yes, I do have glimpses of the new me. I can't look at my arms or my legs and not see that I am much thinner. Breasts too, which at first, I worried would bother my hubby, but it didn't. But nude, I am not happy with the loose skin and flab around my middle, but at 5' 3" and 120 pounds, I don't think I should loose anymore weight. I can't get below 110 or they won't let me donate blood. So I don't want to loose weight, but wish I could tone more my middle, thighs and but.

3/31/12 Trailbreaker half marathon 13.1 miles in 3 hours 13 minutes
4/20/13 Neighborhood Watch 5K 39:17.6
10/5/13 5K Grace Pet Fest 38:47.6
12/1/13 Secret City Half Marathon, hopefully in under 3 hours!


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NANCYANNE55
NANCYANNE55's Photo SparkPoints: (78,585)
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8/24/12 1:38 P

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I also experience it constantly. I have found there is a very fine line between where I am saying "Still too big" and "Too skinny!". I think my brain doesn't register the small me until I am so small I resemble a Cambodian refugee with hair.

I've found my best gauge is to see myself in photos. When someone takes a picture for some reason I am able to see it more objectively than looking in the mirror. I see the picture and think "I actually look pretty good!"

Edited by: NANCYANNE55 at: 8/24/2012 (13:38)
Nancy Anne

My blog, about my personal experience and opinions of fitness related stuff: itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/


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SUSIEQ911
SUSIEQ911's Photo Posts: 2,705
8/24/12 1:33 P

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Several months ago I had that feeling when really see yourself for the first time as the new you. I was shopping for a swim suit of all things. I put the top on and almost started crying. I had to have my partner come into the dressing room with me. I was completely freaked out. I wasn't even at goal yet.

It's not like we don't have full length mirrors, but I think it's the first time I had looked while wearing something that actually fit me. I'm still working my way up to a new wardrobe so I'm still wearing some shirts that are a bit to large and it covers up some of my progress.

Every once in a while I still have one of those moments. They don't shock me anymore, instead I just get a big smile on my face and walk away knowing I am where I belong. FINALLY

Paula

**************************************
**
There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.”

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”

“What you dislike in another take care to correct in yourself.”



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NELLJONES
NELLJONES's Photo SparkPoints: (187,404)
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8/24/12 1:14 P

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This happens to everybody, with weight going in both directions. We have all seen very overweight people dress as if they still weighed 100 pounds. Those people still see themselves as skinny. We've seen all older people dress in teenage clothes because they still see themselves as young. We all spent a lot of time seeing ourselves as fat, and there is a time lag for your eyes to catch up with reality. And it's not just what we see in the mirror after losing weight, it's the automatic assumptions of what we need to do: we might still turn sideways to get through a narrow door, or automatically choose the table instead of the booth. Give it time. You will adjust.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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TANYAP71
TANYAP71's Photo Posts: 337
8/24/12 12:58 P

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I have certainly dealt with this!

There is totally rational me who looks at the 'scars' of former obesity and accepts them. I wish I hadn't done this to my body, but I did and I have to accept the consequences. Losing all this weight has trashed my breasts. They were mostly fat so this makes sense. I have accepted the trade-off. I have stretch marks that do not look good. I have some extra skin. I still carry extra fat on my inner thighs and as love handles. More things I just have to accept. I think my perceptions are accurate. I have a very fit body that is reasonably lean but, unless I want surgical/medical intervention I am going to have signs of my former obesity. For a while I thought that if I just lost enough weight or just leaned out enough I would be happy. That leads to another body image issue I had along the way....

At my leanest, it was like my brain/eyes just was not SEEING that I'd gone too far. I'm 5'3" and was down around 122 pounds but very lean. It wasn't until I could see my ribs over my breasts that I woke up to what was going on. I wish someone had told me. When it comes to getting to thin..... an extra set of impartial eyes might be a good thing! Even now there are times when I will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and go 'Wow! You are really tiny now!' (This is very different from what I see when I look in the mirror deliberately!)

Then I have something which I think could be disordered. I can be going along, totally happy with my body, and then something happens to make me feel bad about myself and all of a sudden I see fat everywhere. I try to talk myself out of it - You're putting on the same sized shorts every day and they don't fit any differently! You are not fat! You are not fat! You are not fat! But it t-o-t-a-l-l-y did not jive with what I thought when I looked in the mirror. That voice was telling me 'Your waist is so wide! Your thighs are all jiggly! Your double chin is coming back!' Talk about bizarre! I could rationally measure that I was doing FINE but the negative emotions I was feeling would not let me accept it. (Usually getting on the scale calms this down. I'm amazed by people who don't need to weigh in. It's so reassuring for me!)

Anyway.... you are NOT alone. I'm not sure whether your issue is that your body just isn't what you expected it to be at the weight your at or that your body is better than you are seeing it as. Different sorts of 'reprogramming' is needed for each, IMO. For the first, give your body time to adjust to the loss and celebrate all the positives! You can 'fix' the negatives down the road if you really want to. For the second, give yourself time to accept your new shape/size and be careful not to push your weight loss or body fat to an unhealthy extreme.

Good luck! Congratulations on your success. I hope you find peace with your new body.

There is no secret. Eat less. Move more. Love yourself. benchedbiologist.wordpress.com/


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4A-HEALTHY-BMI
4A-HEALTHY-BMI's Photo Posts: 5,853
8/24/12 12:13 P

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Yup! You're not alone.

It's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. In fact, it was the very first thing I ever put up a blog post about!

From MSNBC: ‘Phantom fat’ can linger after weight loss
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31489881/ns/health-wo
mens_health


Those first few months at goal I was constantly surprised by my own image (losing more than half of yourself will do that to you). One time I was particularly surprised when I walked into a hotel's fitness center and wondered whether to say "hi" to the other woman in the room who looked really fit, but kind of shy. Then I noticed she was imitating me. Weird. Oh, wait... It turned out the room was half the size I thought it was, the entire wall was a mirror, and she was ME! LOLOL

(It's also a funny sensation to think you're not alone and then suddenly realize you are.)

Edited by: 4A-HEALTHY-BMI at: 8/24/2012 (12:17)
Never, ever, EVER give up!

From BMI 53 (336 lbs) to under 30. Now aiming for less than 20% body fat.

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PERIWINKLE88
PERIWINKLE88's Photo SparkPoints: (5,700)
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8/24/12 12:07 P

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I am on vacation and have the benefit of a full length mirror in my hotel room. At home the closest I have is my reflection in the shower door!

I'm having very odd sensations associated with seeing the "new me.". At times I've looked at myself and have had to do a double take because I don't recognize myself. I literally can't believe it's me. I catch myself staring for a long time, kind of like the Mirror of Erised in Harry Potter.

But other times I look and still see myself as fat. It's not exactly the physical representation of myself, it's more imagining what other people would see if they looked at me, or picking out certain body parts and focusing on their flaws. Or maybe it's still seeing the "old me.". That happens a lot. I look in the mirror and can't tell if what I'm seeing is what I look like now or what I expect to see from before. It's very odd.

I've never had an eating disorder, but I've heard that people who have them can get a physically distorted picture of how they look. I have started to wonder if that's happening to me. I'm at 136, 10 pounds from my goal of 126, which feels like a reasonable goal for someone 5'3". But I've found myself wondering how I would look if I got to 120 or 115, if I'd match the picture in my head of how I thought I'd look "after." I always thought that I'd be so HAPPY with my body after losing 60 pounds. But I'm (sometimes, at least) more dissatisfied than ever.

Anyone ever experience this?

~Peri

Edited by: PERIWINKLE88 at: 8/24/2012 (12:10)
Lost 65 pounds just in time for my 40th birthday. Now maintaining my weight loss, training for a half marathon and lifting weights seriously. Love my body and love my life. It was all worth it!


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