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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 8,101
11/24/11 12:43 A

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Nell, awesome post! Thanks for sharing. I think what you say is a great reminder that we should not limit our support to online. People in our family, our circle or friends and in support groups who we can meet with in person or talk to over the phone are necessary for all of us.
It can be hard sometimes to trust people and make ourselves vulnerable but the rewards are worth it. emoticon
What a great Thanksgiving message. emoticon

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




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NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (212,451)
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11/23/11 5:58 P

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I don't really know. The friends I call know me very well and know what to say. It's usually "I'm glad you called first" or "that would be stupid". Sometimes they just tell me their problems and mine seem easier in comparison at that moment. Usually just the sound of a friend's voice is all I need to get past the moment. Sometimes just leaving a message on her voicemail can help. I know them, too, and it goes both ways. They call me when something is wavering. Sometimes they can help me see that I am looking at someone the wrong way, and by adjusting my glasses I can see a situation in a whole different light. For example today, while I was putting in a whole day of preparing for tomorrow's meal, my hubby was driving my car and it broke. I will be without a car for at least 3 weeks, and I'm two hours behind. I called a friend who told me to deal with the car issue on Friday, and that I have been doing Thanksgiving for my wonderful family for many years. Last Christmas my husband fell down the stairs and broke his leg, just as I was getting ready to put the roast in the oven. I spent the rest of the day in the emergency room and my kids did a great job of finishing the meal, eating it, cleaning it up, and bringing me something in the hospital. I'll be fine. I know all this stuff but sometimes I still need someone to tell me what I know. It eases the feeling that the world is spinning out of control.

I started living like this back in my WW days. WW was a much smaller place back then and we got to know each other pretty well. I have carried that need to have clear eyed, honest friends to my new hometown when I moved, and through divorce, remarriage, kids leaving and starting their own lives, an aging husband.

I wish I knew how to translate from an online community. There is nothing like a friend on the other end of a live phone line, and occasionally for that all important hug.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 8,101
11/23/11 10:30 A

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Nell,
I couldn't agree more with you about the will power. I don't think I have a lot in certain situations. I don't think anyone has enough who has ever been addicted to something (in any sense of that word). Using someone else for support is the most underused resource on this website, maybe because people are not sure how to do it. I think our society is largely teaching us to be independent of other people and it's seen as a weakness to ask for help.
Apart from weight watchers or a 12-step group, what do you think would be the best way for people on Spark to find support when they lack will power? Maybe this should be it's own thread since I'm taking this in a different direction.
Birgit

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




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NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (212,451)
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11/23/11 9:48 A

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I have absolutely no will power of my own. When I feel shaky or itchy, I talk to a friend and use her will power. One of the most important tools I learned in WW is to lean on someone else. And when someone else leans on me, it supports us both.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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DENISEFULLER's Photo DENISEFULLER SparkPoints: (22,682)
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11/23/11 12:54 A

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I have fairly strong will power when I make up my mind. There are a couple places at work I used to raid for candy, but when I started SP, that all ended. Once in a while, if I feel a headache coming on or my blood sugar dropping, I will raid the candy dish. Or sometimes people put sweets on the table in the staff lounge to share and I will sample them. I choose when I will imbibe and when I won't.

I started SP at 138 lbs in October 2010. My goal weight was supposed to be 125, which I reached in January 2011. I have stayed at 125 (give or take a few pounds) ever since.


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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 8,101
11/22/11 10:52 P

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There is a biological base for liking sugar that is completely normal. Sugar does provide quick energy when needed and in the middle of a workout is very helpful for our muscles to function properly. Most animals will enjoy sugary things when given the chance. So I think wanting sugar in small quantities and in natural forms (like fruit or honey) is a good thing. emoticon

Birgit

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




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MOBYCARP's Photo MOBYCARP SparkPoints: (153,860)
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11/22/11 9:36 P

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In all the time I've been controlling what I eat, I have not had a single day without sugar. More, I have not had a single day without some piece of candy that is essentially pure sugar plus some flavorings.

I have had a lot less of that stuff than I had before recording what I eat, and I've enjoyed it more for being limited. I don't know if I could have kept up with tracking this long if I had to give up all sweets, or even all easily identified sugar.

THBS, as I ate better and ate less sugar bonded with fat, my taste perceptions changed. I'm eating the same oatmeal with raisins, and the raisins taste sweeter. When I started making BBQ chicken wraps to get my protein without too much fat, the Bullseye BBQ sauce I had on hand tasted awfully sweet. When that was gone, I started using a less sweet BBQ sauce.

I did have a lapse in control on a designated cheat day, when I had too many desserts at a church lunch; but I learned something from that, and held control at a couple later opportunities to do the same thing.

My feelings are conflicted on the questions. I don't feel totally powerless over sugar, as I can control it; but I don't think I could totally give it up, either. So maybe it does have some power over me.


- Kevin

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SLENDERELLA61's Photo SLENDERELLA61 SparkPoints: (153,622)
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11/22/11 10:28 A

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I have had times I totally avoided sugar because I feared losing control AGAIN. From Dec 2008 to May 2009 my hubby was helpful by not bringing much sugar in the house. Then he said enough is enough and regularly started buying candy (especially the chocolate temptation), pie, cakes, cookies, and all those treats that used to torture me. At first I was kind of mad. Then once when he left the counter loaded with temptations, I just said I'm stronger than these things. I planned, included a few, and left the rest alone.

I won't say that since I've never given into temptation, but not to the extent that it has threatened my maintenance. So at this point I am happy that my hubby has shown me that there is NOTHING, no food, no situation, that will keep me from living at my happy weight!

Central Florida, Eastern Standard Time Zone

Marsha's Keys to Success = Tracking! Super Foods! Step Up Cardio! And most important: Quit Quitting!!


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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 11,399
11/21/11 11:31 P

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It was interesting to read all the posts up to this point. There seems to be a few theses... we all seem to have our bete noir(dark beast) of a food... for be carbs!
We almost all seem to have discovered that healthy eating of good foods has altered our attitude and our physical response to those food. And some of us recognize we do have addictive relationships with certain foods and so avoid them
I think all are legitimate answers.

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


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DONNAEDA's Photo DONNAEDA SparkPoints: (102,041)
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11/21/11 10:49 P

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I try to limit my intake of sugar, it can get out of hand.

Donna
Brown Deer, WI
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SUSIEMT's Photo SUSIEMT SparkPoints: (195,943)
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11/21/11 7:46 P

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I have never considered myself powerless over sugar. My sister is! She knows it an acts accordingly. I really admire her for that. Mine is fat. I have to be very carefull! The other night we had country spare ribs so I had to be very mindul of how much I had. I do occasionally indulge in ice cream.

Susie South Central WI
“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”
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When you break down goals into smaller steps, it isn't even that hard. All you have to do is say "yes" to the right thing!



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NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (212,451)
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11/21/11 5:50 P

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I am powerless over sugar in certain forms, like Reeses, so I don't eat them. Ever.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 8,101
11/21/11 4:10 P

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That reminds me, I had wanted to make some ice cream without sugar, perfect treat for the holidays. I think I'll try just milk and cream, some vanilla and some Xylitol. Yumm!

Birgit

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




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ELECTRALYTE's Photo ELECTRALYTE Posts: 10,207
11/21/11 2:22 P

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When I started eating clean, sugar started tasting sweeter and sweeter to me. My tastes actually changed. I gave up alcohol and white carbs.
I have a couple of squares of really good dark chocolate and that taste sweet to me now. I used to find it bitter.
I still crave ice cream sometimes but I think I just love the texture more than anything. I have tried to find subs, but nothing else is ice cream!

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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 8,101
11/21/11 1:32 P

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I used to have a serious sugar addiction. It thought for a while it was a chocolate addiction but found out that I could always eat dark chocolate and not be tempted to overdo it.
At this point I eat very little table sugar, using lower-glycemic sweeteners instead like Xylitol, coconut crystals, raw agave nectar or stevia. I don't worry about really small amounts of sugar like in ketchup. White flour, rice, pasta and starches do the exact same in your body as sugar so I eat those very rarely. A slice of white bread is just as bad as a donut when it comes to insulin. When I do eat something with sugar I make sure that I eat a good serving of protein and/or fat with it, even for the sweeter fruits, like plain full-fat yoghurt with grapes or bananas.
For me, I found that coffee has a similar effect on me as sugar emotionally so I need to avoid coffee as well. I occasionally drink a cup of decaf, usually just a cup or two of green tea.
Artificial sweeteners like Splenda or Aspartame I stay away from completely. They trigger an insulin release and since there is no sugar being eaten cause a really bad sugar crash later.
Birgit

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




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LYNNE114's Photo LYNNE114 Posts: 102
11/21/11 12:11 P

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Sugar? No. That's not a problem for me. I once tried a low fat diet, where the mantra was "Sugar is your friend." I think I got more tired of the sugar than I did of the low fat!

But pasta? Bread? Crackers? Cheese? Yes, they sometimes seem capable of overpowering me. The control that I've learned through SP, though, has really helped. If I am going to eat something like that, I either prepare for it or adjust for it.

Cheese, for example--high in fat and calories. So when I eat cheese, first I eat less than I used to because the numbers are in my head. Second, I calculate it into my nutrients for the day. And third, I adjust my other foods accordingly. This is just another reason why tracking works for me.

One thing that has helped me deal with the bread and pasta is my adherence to whole wheat. Any other kind of pasta or bread just seems to be such a waste of calories and carbs to eat! So that kind of thinking imposes another form of control when I am in danger of going out of control.


Started at 138, aiming for 125. Got there, and 120 seemed possible. Got THERE, and 118 seemed possible. Got THERE, and 115 seemed possible. And that's where I want to stay. Maintain, maintain, maintain.


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BREWMASTERBILL's Photo BREWMASTERBILL SparkPoints: (31,080)
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11/21/11 11:47 A

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Powerless, not really. But something curious to me, I never really had issues with sugar, I was a self proclaimed salt guy. Refined sugars have a crappy aftertaste to me (and still do). I usually prefer fake sugar. However, when I got off the salty snacks at night (because of calories), I switched to bran flakes. It was low in calories and the carbs made me sleepy, I think. Now I find I crave cereal at night no matter what. I guess I've always craved something at night, now it's cereal instead of doritos. I'm trying to make another switch. I just don't know to what yet, but probably back to salt (popcorn).

So maybe we're having a similar battle. It's just a habit. I habitually eat something at night and want to go to bed full. The delivery content has just changed.

For me, I'm noticing a pattern of requiring more cereal to be satisfied. Sounds like cocaine a little. hehe. So I'm just trying to shake it up a bit and have it more under control.

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POTRIDGE's Photo POTRIDGE Posts: 5,166
11/21/11 11:33 A

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When I started my last (and final) struggle with weight loss, one of the changes I made was limiting my sugar intake to less than 10 grams per serving and I also gave up chocolate. Haven't had any in over 5 years. Just like and addict. I know my limits and what my downfalls are. I don't miss the sugar now, bu I have to admit at first it was hard. You can do it. Mind over sugar!!!!!!

DIET IS A FOUR LETTER WORD!!!!

We are constantly creating our "karma" or destiny through our intentions, thoughts and deeds in this moment. It is achieved through countless deliberate acts of selflessness.

It's hard to be happy with others if we are not happy with ourselves.

Just keep on moving and you'll get there.


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TANYAP71's Photo TANYAP71 Posts: 337
11/21/11 11:24 A

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I don't think I was ever powerless over sugar but I certainly have felt that my perception of sweetness changed a LOT as I ate more whole foods. I can't stand sweetened sodas anymore (and I never liked non-diet sodas). I've cut the sweetener in my coffee way back, just because it got too sweet. I don't like milk chocolate anymore. The smell of a bakery bothers me now. I made an effort to eat whole foods (not to cut out sugar) and being bothered by things that are unnaturally sweet seems to have been a side effect.

FWIW, I still cook with sugar (white sugar, brown sugar) just a whole lot less of it.

I still want to feel full so my big problem is eating too much of calorie-dense but not particularly sweet things that taste good to me, especially peanuts.

There is no secret. Eat less. Move more. Love yourself. benchedbiologist.wordpress.com/


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4A-HEALTHY-BMI's Photo 4A-HEALTHY-BMI Posts: 5,956
11/21/11 10:54 A

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Powerless over sugar? No, because I STAY AWAY from it. LOL

And yes that does mean controlling the fruit. Most of the dairy I eat is strained (Greek yogurt, etc.) which is low in lactose because it flows out with the water.

Sugars tend to cause cravings for me. So does starch. So I limit those things, and if I do decide to have some (like my birthday cake coming up on Wednesday) I prepare myself mentally and engineer my environment to cope with the effects.

My real kryptonite is cheese. So I stay far far far away from THAT!
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Edited by: 4A-HEALTHY-BMI at: 11/21/2011 (10:57)
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SKIRNIR's Photo SKIRNIR Posts: 5,199
11/21/11 10:46 A

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No I don't feel powerless against sugar. I seem to keep sugar/chocolate in the house all the time for my underweight husband and my son, but I manage to stay in calorie at least 85% of the time. Sometimes that allows a small piece of candy, sometimes it doesn't. Do I eat sugar daily? Well, how can you not? It is in all fruit, and many other things. So of course. I eat more fruit and yogurt than I used to and I think that helps me. My real issue is carbs. I love homemade breads, pasta, etc. But I also control what I eat when it comes to that. We make our own choices good or bad. They don't control us.

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,347
11/21/11 10:42 A

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A lot of people on Spark write that they feel powerless over sugar and that they can't eat even a small amount without ending up eating it until they feel sick. They often declare that they will never eat it again, yet they do, and it sounds like a terrible struggle.

I used to feel I could not control my sugar intake, but I also could not imagine giving it up. I could not imagine not eating it every day, yet I go most days without it happily now. I decided it was in my control; it had to be because I was the only one who could stop myself from eating it. I changed my habit after years of abuse. Though I still eat too much sometimes, and it does bother me, it is so much less of a problem that I maintain I will keep improving. Maybe I'm kidding myself....

Did you feel powerless over sugar before your new eating life? Did you decide to give it up? If not, what made you be able to eat it in reasonable amounts and probably much less often? emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
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