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KMPARKER's Photo KMPARKER Posts: 386
12/21/06 3:24 P

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I'd love for him to get that kind of job. But my understanding is that there is a huge amount of competition for those jobs, just because there are so many people who love/are obsessed by Legos. In addition to the SimCity program, and Home Design 3-D program, he likes the Lego Digital Design program, which allows you to build something virtually, have smoke or special effects added, and "explode" it and reassemble it with a single pair of commands. He's a hoot to watch on the computer.

I know what you mean about wishing for the extra time for the maturation to catch up. We're hoping we'll be able to find and afford a house in the better school district that has the potential to build a small apartment for him, when he's ready for an intermediate level of independence.

You're right - as hard as it is to do this stuff alone, it's even harder to do with active interference. I'm glad you're getting a handle on it all. I'm really grateful for my husband and his parents, who do "get it". My own family is largely in denial, but they aren't local either, so it isn't as much of an issue.


"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." Anonymous



High Point - 148

Starting SP - 133

Initial Goal - 125

Lifetime Goal Range - 120 - 125



 July Minutes: 2,068
 
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NEEDNEWSTART Posts: 870
12/21/06 8:20 A

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I don't know that you need to call that a fantasy job. Somebody has to come up with those designs that look relatively realistic despite the restrictions created by rectangular pieces. We have an intern working for us right now, and for her final project she drew different lego pieces in 3D on autocad and then created something out of them. I wish I could remember what she said she created. I'll have to ask her again when she comes in. Has your son tried any of the 3D functions/commands yet? What a way to combine two passions!

My son tends to behave and have interests that are several years younger than his age. I often say that I wish there was a way he could stay in school 3 or 4 extra years so mentally he'd be the same age as other 18 year olds before being forced into the world as an "adult."

But anyway, the divorce was my idea. I had absolutely no help or support from my husband, and in many ways he was like having a 3rd child in the house to take care of. His family disowned me when I dared to put a "label" on their grandchild, because they saw absolutely nothing wrong with him. So getting him diagnosed and then advocating for the services he needed fell solely on my shoulders. Eventually I reached a point of realizing that if I had to take care of everything (from working, to raising a family, to keeping a house, etc.) on my own with no assistance, I might as well be on my own. The past few years have been rocky, but after taking care of my depression and then personally starting to grow in many ways that I needed, I think the kids and I are in a much better place.

But of course, there's never a dull moment. This year, my daughter's teacher and I are having the school/county evaluate her for possible ADHD.

KMPARKER's Photo KMPARKER Posts: 386
12/20/06 11:13 P

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Except for the mirror image on the academics, they sound like very similar boys.

My kiddo has reading and language skills considerably above his age/grade level, but is LD in math. Most of his meltdowns come just prior to or during math class.

It's great that your son has made up so much ground in social skills and communication. We've seen some improvement in the last year, probably the result of maturation and interventions. But he's far from where he'll need to be for middle school next fall.

DS really doesn't think much about what he'd like to do as an adult, other than his fantasy job as a designer of Lego creations. I think his visualization skills and computer skills are a good thing to nurture, even if he's already left me in the dust with them.

I'm sorry you've had a rough time. Have things been better since the divorce?


"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." Anonymous



High Point - 148

Starting SP - 133

Initial Goal - 125

Lifetime Goal Range - 120 - 125



 July Minutes: 2,068
 
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NEEDNEWSTART Posts: 870
12/20/06 5:40 P

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Wow, KM! I can relate to so much that you typed. My son is autistic, 11 years old and still has his second (severely worn out)stuffed tan lab and his third (starting to show signs of wear) stuffed tan lab. I'd buy him a 4th one to replace the 2nd one but I'm afraid he still won't give up the second one and there will be THREE very large stuffed dogs in bed with him every night. LOL!

I'm very impressed that your son is able to use AutoCAD since I use it every day for my job. Is he hoping to get into drafting or engineering when he grows up?

My son does have a lot of learning delays - the most severe one being reading. He's on grade level with math only. But he has come a long way with social skills and communication skills. He still makes blunders that cause people to tilt their heads at him and wonder what the heck is wrong with him, though.

And I fit perfectly into those statistics you quoted. I'm divorced and went through a bout of depression that I was treated for 1 1/2 years for.

Yes! Exercise makes a huge difference in how I feel every day!

KMPARKER's Photo KMPARKER Posts: 386
12/20/06 8:04 A

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I've been AWOL for nearly a week, just logging on to track my food and exercise. Anyway, I'm just seeing this post. Sorry, Shani!

My son has Asperger's Syndrome, a kind of autism where cognitive ability (intelligence) is preserved, and there are no serious delays in language. Autism is almost always co-morbid with mood/anxiety disorders, and frequently with ADHD. DS has the "Asperger's Trifecta" - Asperger's, OCD, and ADHD. Which means he's incredibly hyperactive, misses many critical social cues, behaves socially in a way several years younger than he is, and is incredibly anxious. He's missing a patch of hair in the back of his head where he's pulled it out, usually when stressed in the socially intense environment at school.

It's the wild inconsistencies that are still the hardest to adjust to. For example, near his 11th birthday and with signs of puberty evident, my son is still in love with and plays frequently with his stuffed animals. We're on our third border collie from Build-A-Bear named Lance, as he's worn the first two out. Lance III is not looking so fresh lately, either. But his other main interest is in laying out buildings and cities using professional-level Autocad software, and studying details of Maglev trains that are in use in Japan and Germany.

I agree with you that the level of effort required to raise a multi-diagnosed child, like yours and mine, is unbelievable. Parenting is hard enough. This kind of thing requires a huge amount of time, a great deal of research and advocacy, and a willingness to repeatedly do battle with educational authorities and the health care world. It's hard enough for me as a child/adol psychologist, already knowing the ropes of special education law and how schools work - I really admire my friends like you who do this with no previous background or training.

The divorce rate for parents of kids with a serious disability is 80%. The depression rate for the same group is even higher. Exercise is the single thing I've done in the last year that has helped the most.

Anyway, we're getting a brief reprieve today as we send him for two days to his grandparents. These little breaks are good for our marriage and our mental health. I hope you have one planned sometime soon, too.

"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." Anonymous



High Point - 148

Starting SP - 133

Initial Goal - 125

Lifetime Goal Range - 120 - 125



 July Minutes: 2,068
 
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ACHILLES_DALLAS's Photo ACHILLES_DALLAS SparkPoints: (10,878)
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12/15/06 11:47 A

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the big 30. Congratulations on your upcoming event.

Achilles

Frost settles on motionless objects; keep moving


 
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SARBAH77's Photo SARBAH77 SparkPoints: (125,138)
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Posts: 3,017
12/14/06 6:27 P

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Mine include:
-enjoy turning 30! I'm throwing myself a party to celebrate, so why not!
-maintain my weight loss - switch to maintanence mode (for now I'm staying in "diet" mode since the holidays at work are a food event for three weeks, plus Christmas, two birthdays, and an anniversary party!)
-keep exercising and tackle some weight exercises, specifically for strengthening my knee (osteoarthritis, surgery in the next few years) and upper body toning
-keep up my optomism! With my good stable friends and a better self image, I know that I am a happier person.

I think those are do-able!

-Sarah

ACHILLES_DALLAS's Photo ACHILLES_DALLAS SparkPoints: (10,878)
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12/14/06 4:25 P

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Looks like a lot of great things happening in 2007. I think it is inportant to set and continue to evaluate and reset goals otherwise you stay still. Keep moving forward or upward emoticon

Achilles

Frost settles on motionless objects; keep moving


 
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SHANIMCK's Photo SHANIMCK Posts: 11,621
12/14/06 10:48 A

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SteppingUp- Sounds like good goals. You know, in times of crisis, survival mode is highly underrated. ;) Keeping things simple is a good idea when you have a full plate emotionally.

KMParker- What kind of special needs does your son have? I've been advocating for my daughter for the last 4 years. She has auditory processing disorder, short term memory impairment, dyslexia as a result of these issues, and ADHD (inattentive, hyperactive, but not impulsive). Once medicated and in the right tutoring situation (can be read as $$$), everything started coming together educationally for her. She was 2.5 years behind in reading level and this year she has caught up with her grade level! :) I was shocked at how much I had to push to get help for her. No one seemed to care that she was getting further and further behind. Then they kept trying things that were very ineffective. Finally I got her into the correct reading program outside of school and in 2 years, WOW. Anyhow... I understand how much of yourself you have to put into advocating for your child and really respect you for moving to get him what he needs.

Shani

I've backslidden... I reached my goal and was now maintaining, but now I need to lose 10 pounds and firm up.

Orig SW 150, GW 134, CW 134, new goal weight 123


 current weight: 132.8 
 
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STEPPINGUP's Photo STEPPINGUP SparkPoints: (13,949)
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Posts: 869
12/13/06 9:12 P

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Mine are pretty basic - finalize the divorce with as little arguing as possible, continue to be a strong support for my kids, and keep my weight at a healthy level. (Can you tell I'm in survival mode?)

Tina
SW 156 - Nov 05 Reached 2nd Goal: 118 - Nov 06
Maintained loss until Sept 07

New SW 146 - Aug 14, 2010


 current weight: 149.0 
 
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KMPARKER's Photo KMPARKER Posts: 386
12/13/06 8:13 P

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In the next year, we'll be moving in order to get the best special education services for my son. This will mean getting him adjusted to a new peer group. Also, I will eventually need to move my practice.

So, my goals are to create enough stability (financial, social, emotional and health) for us to make all these changes in 2007 without too much difficulty.

"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." Anonymous



High Point - 148

Starting SP - 133

Initial Goal - 125

Lifetime Goal Range - 120 - 125



 July Minutes: 2,068
 
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SCARLETTMINI's Photo SCARLETTMINI Posts: 2,690
12/13/06 6:25 P

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1) Learn more about how to have a healthy pregnancy

2) Eat intuitively

3) Enjoy an active life

4) Help others work towards a healthy lifestyle

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”

--Miss Piggy




Total loss: 50 lbs
Maintained: 7 months
PARAVEN's Photo PARAVEN Posts: 1,596
12/13/06 1:43 P

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I have a few - some health related and some not.

1. Start up the new ministry at church for children with special needs.

2. Commit to rehearsals with the worship team (1x a week).

3. Stay on track with health and fitness - eat right, maintain my weight, workout 5-6 days per week



Ticker shows Maintenance Range
SW: 139 Aug 06
GW: 125 Oct 06
MW: 121 - 124

I love this quote from Master and Commander, "Name a shrub after me, Be sure it's something prickly and hard to eradicate." Determination will win the day!



 current weight: 124.0 
 
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SHANIMCK's Photo SHANIMCK Posts: 11,621
12/13/06 1:26 P

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Lots of them actually, but the primary goal is to create balance:

-Work out 3 days a week. This means going into work 1 hour late once a week.

-Save 3 months living expenses, save for a new TV and start saving for our next car

-Take a small vacation with our family (a weekend kind of thing)

-Take a weekend getaway with my husband

-Start date nights again - 2 times a month

-Start family prayer at night again, or at least devotions once a week and then build up

-Make at least one set of friends (couple)

-Stop staying late at work (bring work home if needed)

-Cultivate individual friendships

-Maintain my weight loss

-Eat healthy

-Strengthen my marriage

How's that? LOTS of goals, but I'm setting specifics and short and medium term goals (probably setting them up in our goal tracker here) so that I meet them. I feel great for having really evaluated how my life runs and trying to make it match how I want my life to be.

Shani

I've backslidden... I reached my goal and was now maintaining, but now I need to lose 10 pounds and firm up.

Orig SW 150, GW 134, CW 134, new goal weight 123


 current weight: 132.8 
 
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JANNIE1's Photo JANNIE1 Posts: 5,036
12/13/06 12:32 P

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My first figure competition July 28th. I'll really start cracking down mid march at 20 weeks out. Right now I'm healing from having all 4 wisdom teeth removed on Monday. Getting lots of rest and keeping my mouth clean is my priority right now.

Jan

Healthy For Life
5ft tall
SW 2/4/13 136.2
CW 9/19/13 120.2
GW 6/23/13 125
Finally, I DID IT!!!!


 current weight: 120.2 
 
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ACHILLES_DALLAS's Photo ACHILLES_DALLAS SparkPoints: (10,878)
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12/13/06 11:29 A

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Continue to push goals upward to keep me motivated and driving forward.

Achilles

Frost settles on motionless objects; keep moving


 
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