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KAYOTIC's Photo KAYOTIC Posts: 12,744
8/31/08 2:37 P
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Yes, yes, yes!!! that is the point exactly Daddy and Terri! It shouldn't be about the "food" but about the company and the gathering. It's not a rejection of the person to turn down an offering. I think it may be hard to explain to someone who sees food as "love" but if you explain that you appreciate the offer but just don't eat that way anymore, maybe it will be taken the right way. It's not a rejection of the person, it's just a thing you don't eat anymore. I agree also with bringing fresh fruits and veggies, that may set a precendent for future gatherings.

highest weight ever:202, SP starting weight: 143

New goal: more practical new goal, 129, update ticker to reflect that goal.

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TERRIPHILL's Photo TERRIPHILL Posts: 2,864
8/25/08 1:26 P

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Kayotic,
You talk about the "power of food" How many of you grew up in families where food is love? How do you show you care for someone? Bake them a cake? Bring them a meal? Invite them to dinner?
The biggest change in my lifestyle has been recognizing that its not about the food...its about the event. Food is just a part of it and it doesn't have to be high fat and sugar...it can be fresh vegetables, fruit dips or a well balanced meal.

Edited by: TERRIPHILL at: 8/25/2008 (13:24)
Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won't take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother.
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DADDY5CATS's Photo DADDY5CATS SparkPoints: (13,082)
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8/24/08 10:42 P

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I guess I'm lucky that my friends and family completely " get it " with what I have just accomplished. BTW, TERRIPHILL, I like your comment about the 700 lbs. lost. I'll have to remember that one. There are some others who would understand it better that way.

When you tell people thank you for offering, but no thanks, they act like you don't like what they fixed and it sometimes becomes hard to explain that you are just trying to stay the way you are and stay within your range. ( I hope I worded that correctly )

*Henry*

It's 2010 And I'm Back To Track Again! I STILL Have The "Power" !!!

Gotta Know Where You Come From To Get Where You Want To Go.





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KAYOTIC's Photo KAYOTIC Posts: 12,744
8/24/08 12:03 P
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There was an interesting comment a few posts back about not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings too badly by eating/not eating some certain thing(s). Isn't it strange that we give food the power to hurt feelings? I mean how could someone else put so much stock in a food that they would let it hurt their feelings? It just sounded strange to me.

highest weight ever:202, SP starting weight: 143

New goal: more practical new goal, 129, update ticker to reflect that goal.

H: 5''4" 50 y.o.

"Don''t let yesterday use up too much of today." Will Rogers

"Eat Food, Not Too Much, Mostly Plants" Michael Pollan



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VANESSAANN83's Photo VANESSAANN83 Posts: 593
8/16/08 12:14 A

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Cindi, I know what you mean about the old pictures!! I used to think I was so fat in my late teens...and then I packed on thirty lbs in my early twenties. Those late teen pictures sure looked good!! HOWEVER, now I exercise and eat right...so even though I'm almost ten lbs heavier now than I was then, I'm wearing the same size clothes-sometimes smaller :) I look and feel waaaay better now, and I'm sure you will too :)

CINDILP's Photo CINDILP SparkPoints: (79,960)
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8/15/08 8:52 P

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I understand how you feel. I was with family last weekend. For my family everything centers on food and eating. I stayed at my nephews house and he cooked wonderful meals every night, plus to picnic like family gatherings with lots of food potluck style. His hero is Paula Deen and you don't even say healthy in his hearing. Actually, we laughed as I teased him that I only eat and cook healthy. I did come back a few pounds heavier and thankful I don't live close enough to have to deal with all the food at every family get together.

I was given a bunch of things to bring home from an aunt who is cleaning out her home. Things that were a great-grandmother's. In a book my aunt put in some pictures of me with my mother. The pictures were from when I was a senior in high school and in college. I was in pretty good shape in those pictures and I remember feeling fat all the time! I guess I have a new goal to work towards! And before a family wedding in October.
Cindi

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VANESSAANN83's Photo VANESSAANN83 Posts: 593
8/14/08 10:57 P

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Thank you so much everyone, for all of your replies :) A lot of my friends and family read my blog, and everyone responded positively :) They all FINALLY seem to understand that I'm not depriving myself at all...quite the opposite. They finally understand that I'm not refusing their casseroles and cookies because I want to go hungry...but because I've got a much LARGER amount of fruit (or something healthy) at home that will satisfy me longer, cut calories by half, and leave me feeling proud-not guilty. Finally!! I hope it lasts...

It will always be awkward going out to eat with others...but I'm alright with that. As long as I don't have to hurt anyone's feelings TOO badly, or deal with being COMPLETELY avoided because of my habits, I'll be alright.

Terriphill, I'm saddened that you aren't even asked out anymore...I hope they at least ask still if they're going somewhere healthy!!! I'm kind of a loner for the most part though...so I could also appreciate having all of that quiet time to get stuff done :)

TERRIPHILL's Photo TERRIPHILL Posts: 2,864
8/14/08 7:03 P

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I too feel pretty left out when all my co-workers are heading out to lunch and they don't even ask me anymore. I keep a frdige and a microwave in my classroom and eat there. I have found I get lots of work done, its quiet and I actually have come to enjoy the "peace" I explained to my friends that I am trying to learn how to maintain my weight loss since this is where I have such a high failure rate. (I tell them i've lost about 700 pounds in my life and now I want to learn how to keep it off.) They seem to understand that better than "I'm watching what I eat"

Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won't take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother.
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AMYMICHELLE5's Photo AMYMICHELLE5 SparkPoints: (31,814)
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8/14/08 1:31 P

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i deal with these issues pretty much on a daily basis. i'm not sure why people assume that when your done losing weight you can start eating whatever you want. i know that's one of the main reasons i weighted so much in the first place. my "picky" eating as everyone refers to it can be a pain sometimes, like at picnics and birthday party's but i decided in the beginning that this was a lifestyle change and my attitude anymore is that its my choice what i eat and if anyone has a problem with it then it's their problem and not mine!!

Amy ; )

Maintenance Range 140 -145

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“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”


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VANESSAANN83's Photo VANESSAANN83 Posts: 593
8/14/08 7:58 A

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Thanks guys :) Over the last year I've made new friends in the weight loss community, and one of my closest friends lost weight with me. I'm not entirely alone *thank GOD* and I am hoping that family and non-dieting friends can someday understand with time.

It's exactly like what was said a few posts previous, I have a point system (calorie spending system if you will) and I just don't want to "spend" my calories on some traitorous and non-loving cheese burger ha ha, when I could have a million carrots in it's place. I love to eat...and this is the way I choose to do it.

Thanks for all of the support!! I posted a public blog about it on MySpace, so everyone will hopefully read it and get the not so subtle hint ;) I've already received positive feedback :) Onwards, to a better day! One in which disheartening doesn't have an uncorrectable space in it...

EEVEE1's Photo EEVEE1 Posts: 4,426
8/14/08 6:38 A

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hopefully they will give up bugging you about it when they see you are not wasting away into nothing.
good luck

Success consists of a series of little daily victories.

— Laddie Hutar



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ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 7,584
8/14/08 5:29 A

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I think we all encounter that in the early times of a weight loss...either from friends or from a husband. Just stay strong. I can't tell you how many times I repeated the mantra to others "I actually CAN have that but I have to account for it, and I'm not willing to use my points that way". After a while, true friends will get over it and accept your choices. There seems to be a universal "need" among those who do not have to monitor their food choices, to get those who do to eat something they shouldn't. Stay strong!

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BEEJAY49's Photo BEEJAY49 SparkPoints: (198,663)
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8/14/08 3:11 A

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I don't think you should have to make any excuses for your food choices. I could understand it if you were anorexic or bolemic, but you're making healthy food choices. Maybe your friends are jealous or simply trying to sabotage your way of eating?

I don't have a problem like that, but I have 2 sisters that are over weight and one of them got on me about how much I lost. I finally had to pull my shirt up for her so she could see that my ribs weren't sticking out. She kept accusing me of having an eating disorder. If only she would make healthier food choices.

Just tell your friends that you don't really want to discuss your food choices anymore and maybe if they would make some good ones too they would feel happier about themselves and stop bugging you about it.

God Bless and Hugs!
Ohio, the Buckeye State

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VANESSAANN83's Photo VANESSAANN83 Posts: 593
8/14/08 12:23 A

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Well, it's hard to explain...I am able to order simple foods at most restaurants, but the food is rarely ever as satisfying as MY food at home (whole foods that took me weeks to discover, and months to tweak), and I always end up even MORE hungry and with wasted calories!

I did have a sleepover at my house (I'm a college student, and my husband was deployed) and I offered nothing but the healthiest of foods. However, the girls I invited were all part of my ROTC class (Air Force) and into health foods...so no one complained. It would have been awkward otherwise, I think.

Anyway, it isn't that my friends think I'm boring, it's that they're concerned for my health. They're concerned that I'm not "living life to the fullest" because I'm choosing to eliminate a lot of popular foods. They think my way of eating must be miserable. I disagree...and wonder if they think the same things of vegetarians, or vegans?? It's just a new way of life, one that sets me free...I think. Why does doing it for maintained weight and health make it different than doing it for personal animal rights beliefs, religion, or medical reasons? Not fair, that's all I'm saying.

EEVEE1's Photo EEVEE1 Posts: 4,426
8/13/08 8:51 P

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I have not had any problems like that, but I don't eat that strict. Are you able to just order soup or something when you go out to restaurants, or you could host an occasional clean dinner at your place to show your friends that it doesn't have to be boring. If you want to move away from food as entertainment, try suggesting other things to do. Food has been the center of so many celebrations and social functions for so long, you won't totally change that.

Success consists of a series of little daily victories.

— Laddie Hutar



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VANESSAANN83's Photo VANESSAANN83 Posts: 593
8/13/08 8:21 P

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I've SERIOUSLY been considering using hypoglycemia as an excuse...even though I don't have it. It would be oh so easy to just say that my blood sugar is sensitive, and that I have to eat small meals constantly rather than large, unknown meals. Sigh.

Oh, and don't envy my willpower, it really isn't much involved!! It's quite opposite! Eating this way eliminates the need for willpower after the initial shock, I never have to say no to my healthy foods ha ha. Don't be angry with yourself for slipping up, it's human nature. Just find what works best for you! Some people can occasionally indulge without consequence...I however, cannot...so therefore do not give myself the option. I still do though, about four times a year or so. It's inevitable, we're only human ha ha.

Thanks for replies!!

ROLOHA's Photo ROLOHA Posts: 3,540
8/13/08 8:09 P

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I wish I had your willpower! I used to do pretty well most of the time but would easily succumb to light arm-twisting when offered up. Here lately it's been a rough road for me with noone really but myself to blame and I'm seeing the results on the scale that I really don't like. I'm working to get back to the low end of my range where I feel most happy and confident.

"If you keep on doing what you've always done you'll keep on going where you've always gone"

"The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where?"


SW 193 October 2004

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TRYINGHARD1948's Photo TRYINGHARD1948 Posts: 19,906
8/13/08 8:09 P

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I know exactly how you feel. It's as if your friends, like mine, have not come to grips with the fact that you changed your lifestyle and it is not just a diet. I'm unlucky enough to suffer from IBS and I'm afraid I do use it as an excuse saying, "It would make me feel awful for days," which is true. I'm hoping that after time they will all just think I'm an eccentric and allow me to enjoy my green tea. By the way, the Glorious Geisha is fabulous, it's strawberries and cream, delicious!!

Sandy



"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them -- every day begin the task anew."
Saint Francis de Sales


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VANESSAANN83's Photo VANESSAANN83 Posts: 593
8/13/08 7:12 P

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About this time last year, I finished losing. In order to maintain, I had to come up with a whole new eating style that fit my desires. Now, everyone does this differently. Some people eat small, healthy snacks all day, then a yummy and reasonable dinner of choice. Some eat extremely healthy, and slightly under calories all of the time, so that they can have a guiltless cheat day once a week. I opted to cut out all but healthy foods all together, sort of like the eat clean diet...but not quite, so that I could eat MORE, and more often...ALL of the time, every day. I still "cheat" and go over on calories sometimes, but it's with an extra bowl of fruit and yogurt...or an extra fillet of fish...not nachos or chocolate. I am going somewhere with this...

This really works for me! I get to eat about 8-10 times a day, and I'm never hungry! I still get treats (a 150 calorie ice cream cone, extra fruit, a smoothie here and there), and I enjoy the foods that I've chosen to stick to. The downside is this: I cannot eat out. I will not eat Mexican, I will not eat Wendys...I will not eat cake, chips, or burgers. It isn't because they're bad for you...not at all. It's because these foods do not satisfy me. I eat them...and then crave more. I'm ever hungry for ONE more chip, or ONE more slice of cake. Therefore, I do not eat them...ever. This is impossible, obviously, and I do slip up...but I'm usually sorry, and it's few and far between. Here's the BIG problem with this: my friends get annoyed with the way I eat. They don't understand why I'm not interested in going out for Italian, ice cream, or even some "harmless" taco bell. They think it's sad...and that I have a problem sometimes.

I think that sucks!! I love being the size that I am, it's made my life sooo much better!! I feel sexy, pretty, more...ME. To me, it's worth it! I feel good about the way that I eat, and about the way that it makes me feel.

My question is this: does anyone else have to deal with this???? What do you do?!! It's frustrating :( Fun things in life (and friendships for that matter) should not have to revolve around food :( Fortunately, my husband never complains...he says that I have an iron will ha ha, and brags about how dedicated I am to keep what I want. What do you guys think??

Oh, and I didn't mean to put a space in "disheartening," it just happened...and now I can't fix it ha ha. I'm sad!! It's gonna be one of those days...

OH, and ps-I am 5'6, and 127 lbs. NOT underweight.

Edited by: VANESSAANN83 at: 8/13/2008 (19:13)
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