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KARRI28's Photo KARRI28 Posts: 554
8/20/09 9:37 P

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Thank you both for the response! We watched that particular Veggie Tale tonight, and am waiting to see the results. We had it but did not watch it b/c she had the song (cd) and book but concentrated on the scary parts (especially the hundred little monsters jumping right into her jammies!) So maybe when she sees it it the story, she will understand it a little more. I try to have her tell me what she is afraid of, but she will either just look at me and squeak or look around the room trying to find something to be scared of. Most of the time it is just a general scared, not really of anything in particular. Then she realized that Mommy hung around when she was scared and she didn't have to go to sleep... and you know how it goes.
I'm hoping that being in pre-k at church will wear her out, and was looking at gymnastics today for the days that she doesn't go to Pre-K. :) haven't found a dance place around here yet, but I'm sure we will eventually!
Thanks again for the suggestions, and I'll let you know how it goes!

"I get knocked down, but I get up again! They're never gonna keep me down!"

-Tubthumping by Chumbawumba

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KEHWIE's Photo KEHWIE Posts: 3,187
8/20/09 5:08 P

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I too have had this message sitting in my inbox for a few days as I pondered a response. I like Motherduck's suggestions. I would also pray for wisdom as to whether it's genuine fear or manipulation. It CAN be really hard to tell sometimes, and the two do merit different responses! I will keep thinking though, to see if I come up with any further ideas--good luck!!

Karen

"Be not afraid of going slowly. Be only afraid of standing still."--Chinese proverb


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MOTHERDUCK3's Photo MOTHERDUCK3 Posts: 846
8/19/09 10:38 P

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I've been meaning to reply. Here are some of the things I've done with my kids.

1. Night lights. With my first I would set a timer and stay for that long then leave. Doesn't help with scared but helps with bed time.

2. We watched the Veggie Tales - God is bigger than the boogie man. It was the first one with Daniel and the Lions den. The song is really cute and it has a great truth that if they can latch on to it now -- what a great thing.

3. I make them tell me what they are scared of. They have to tell me and then I show them why it isn't scary and/or we pray about it.

4. I had to constantly reinforce that I loved my child and that God loves him. That God was in the business of taking care of those He loves and I was in the business of taking care of those I love. I also tell them that I can take better care of them if I'm not in their room.

Hope some of this helps. I know how draining a long bedtime can be. It makes it hard to accomplish what I need to accomplish so I can get to bed on time also.

Blessings

Motherduck
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Col 3:17


KARRI28's Photo KARRI28 Posts: 554
8/19/09 11:15 A

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Still, thanks for the advice. Last night was another rough night. It is so hard to leave the room when she is yelling "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Wait!", so hard to tell when she is just fighting sleep and when she is actually scared. emoticon

"I get knocked down, but I get up again! They're never gonna keep me down!"

-Tubthumping by Chumbawumba

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ANNEGIRL1919's Photo ANNEGIRL1919 Posts: 597
8/18/09 5:54 P

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sorry the idea won't help. :( i totally understand the quiet time. we have it here frequently. i could name it 'sanity time'. :)

i hope the preschool time helps!

~sharlin
happy wife to jaret '98
mom to:
avi '01
smith '04
faye '08
pierce '11

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
~Aristotle

The past does not determine the future.


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KARRI28's Photo KARRI28 Posts: 554
8/18/09 5:39 P

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Thanks for the reply! My DD stopped taking naps around 6 months ago, she has 'quite time' where she plays only with non-noisy toys and books for at least an hour (mainly so that Mommy can have some quite time too!). She starts pre-K tomorrow, and I'm hoping that the experience will get her mind off of things being 'scary' and tire her out for bed-time!

"I get knocked down, but I get up again! They're never gonna keep me down!"

-Tubthumping by Chumbawumba

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ANNEGIRL1919's Photo ANNEGIRL1919 Posts: 597
8/18/09 10:19 A

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i'm sorry that you're having a rough time. kids definitely keep parents on their toes, don't they? :(

i don't have any specific advice about the scared part, but i noticed that your little one is 3 and both bedtime and nighttime are battles. whenever my kids got to that point, i soon stopped their naps. that way, at night time, they are so tired that they don't do stuff like that.

it's always hard to stop naps, though, because for a few months it's obvious that they could REALLY still use a nap-especially around supper time. but it did make me feel less crazy all around.

my oldest took naps until she was 5, and still can use them once in awhile (she's almost 8), but my son quit naps at 3. :( he was a grumpier child in general, so i sure wished he would sleep, but nap and bedtime were just too painful that way.

anyway, that may be of no help to, but i thought i'd share my experiences, just in case. :)

~sharlin
happy wife to jaret '98
mom to:
avi '01
smith '04
faye '08
pierce '11

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
~Aristotle

The past does not determine the future.


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KARRI28's Photo KARRI28 Posts: 554
8/18/09 6:51 A

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My 3 yr old's favorite phrase is now "I'm scary (scared)". It is really hard b/c most of the time I can't tell if she is really scared, or just trying to get out of something or get something she wants. We've always had trouble with bedtime, no matter how well we stick to our routine, and now it is that much harder b/c everything is 'scary' and nothing I do helps. I know she plays on how hard it is for me to leave her upset, most of the time I send my husband in and he settles it within two visits. But he is starting night classes soon and it'll be up to me. We already fight over naps, and night time is worse. I know she is using the 'I'm scary' tactic to try to get out of things (like when it comes to cleaning up, she says she can't b/c it's scary, no I don't let her get away with this). I finally found the book "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" to read to her. Any suggestions? I'm at my wits end!

"I get knocked down, but I get up again! They're never gonna keep me down!"

-Tubthumping by Chumbawumba

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