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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (117,029)
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3/5/08 10:24 A

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Thanks for that affirmation! You're right, my older sister does call every day but wh is 6 hours north and says "I'LL NEVER quit my job and stay home to take care of Mum"! And my younger cut mum off once Daddy died and has NOTHING to do with her.

ERSKINSMOM's Photo ERSKINSMOM Posts: 88
3/5/08 9:19 A

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Hi, Cheryl,
I thought I'd jump in here from the other team. Ain't it ironic? You said you and others on this thread saying that you were the rotten kid. I'm taking care of my father-in-law and when my husband first suggested him moving in, my gut reaction was no because I sensed that he never did like me. He always joked about my love for girlish stuff in a house filled with men (inluding the dogs). Why do I spend more on having my hair done than he does at the barber? That type of stuff.
Now he's been here for 4 years and my mother and sisters-in-law all swear that he loves me like a daughter. Maybe they're telling the truth. I have no idea.
But I do find it ironic that when the chips are down for folks like Granpda and your mothers, who is it that's stepped up to the plate? We need to give ourselves a pat on the back for that.

Erskin's Mom

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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (117,029)
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3/3/08 10:02 A

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Me too! I was the rotten child in my teen years but went away to college and it changed me completely. I tease her all the time that if only she'd known when I was 15 or 16 that she'd be living with me some day...!

RSUZETTE Posts: 8
3/2/08 9:37 P

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My thoughts are with you. All I have to do is take my mother home from work when my dad can't. And run to her house when she looses her oxygen when he is at work. She really needs to quit work....uses a walker, is on oxygen continuously, gets short of breath with minimal exertion but she pushes on. I know that one day she will require much more help. I cannot imagine having to live with her. She cries all of the time, I have two siblings, they live over an hour away and won't even call. Would know I was the child she got along with the worse. Boy do we butt heads.

 
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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (117,029)
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3/2/08 10:31 A

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I like the "do what you can" and forget the rest approach...

CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (117,029)
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3/1/08 10:55 A

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It's been huge. We can't really go on vacations anymore 'cause she HATES to be left alone and we live kinda far out and have no family support. I've been trying to hire neighbor kids or kids from church but they are so busy and don't want the responsibility.

JENNYT0120's Photo JENNYT0120 Posts: 436
2/29/08 10:45 P

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I moved back to my mom's house to take care of her. She doesn't ever want to leave her home. And it is quite a big adjustment after having a life on my own. I think we can be a good support system where we can help each other by sharing our experiences. And talking about our issues, can help us learn out to deal with stuff that would usually stress us out. And we definitely don't want to eat over our stressed feelings.

Jenny T


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PRPLEVIOLET's Photo PRPLEVIOLET SparkPoints: (13,724)
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2/29/08 5:07 P

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Sounds like you need to take a deep breath! You're taking on a huge responsibility as well as making a dymamic change in your life! Do what you can...forget what you can't.

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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (117,029)
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2/29/08 10:31 A

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I'm Cheryl, will be 55 in April, and hubby and I have been caring for my 80+ y/o mum who lives with us. Daddy died 4 years ago. We were childless so this has been a Huge adjustment!

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