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  FORUM:   General Team Discussion Forum
TOPIC:   What would you do? 

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SHERYL_B's Photo SparkPoints: (44,619)
Fitness Minutes: (34,467)
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11/13/12 1:32 P

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That is a tough position to be in, both with the personal relationship and within the gs relationship.

One thought - not for now while things are fresh, but perhaps in a couple of months once things work themselves out - could you have a discussion with the girls (on an overview basis, not with specific details) on how the relationship was harmed and what you did to work through it. Although the girls may not be completely aware of the problems, they probably are aware something is going on. Not only could this be a real world learning experience for the girls, but perhaps it will open up some opportunities for honesty and discussion amount the adults if you discuss ahead of time how you are presenting and help put closure to the issues.

I know it is probably very sensitive and this might not be an option, but it could be a great example for the girls.

Good luck!

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PETITGABRIELLE's Photo Posts: 195
11/8/12 4:59 P

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Thanks for the ideas. Oh if I just had a time machine...

As the girls have gotten older, we have been having more disagreements about what the girls can do and cannot do. Part of that goes along with neither of them having a daughter the age of our girls I think. I've been trying to keep those differences of opinions from coming out on the girls. Sometimes there's negative "why can't they just" that gets on my nerves.

We'll see what happens. I do wish that adults would behave like adults.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
~Erma Bombeck.

MANDYKAYEE's Photo Posts: 359
11/8/12 12:16 P

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Well, I will give this a shot . . . but I don't really have a magic answer. My asst. leader has been having similar problems. She will get to be friends with a mom in our troop and then the mom won't like something in GS and take it out on the friendship. I am amazed that with the core of GS being sisterhood, that adults will behave like this - letting something ruin a friendship. If you could turn back time, I would say not to have friends be co-leaders, get moms. If you think the friendship would mend if they weren't your co-leaders, I personally would persue that avenue. If they do want to stay - is there a way to work the conflict out? Without something changing, it would seem like the conflict will just be going on. Perhaps clearn lines of who does what . . . or giving the girls more decision making so it's not the leaders fighting over it. Don't really know the issues so just trying to throw out a few things. I sure hope it works out for you. Hang in there.

One day at a time . . .

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PETITGABRIELLE's Photo Posts: 195
10/26/12 9:02 A

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I have a troop of Cadettes and two co-leaders (A & B) who have been family friends without daughters in the troop. We've been having conflict between the leaders to the point where this summer my co-leaders pretty much stopped talking to me.

After a meeting a week or so ago when my daughter was in the car we had a huge argument and one of my co-leaders (A) went home and facebook unfriended me, my husband and my daughter. Mind you, my daughter and my husband had no knowledge of or involvement in the conflict.

I had called and emailed to reach out to both co-leaders over the last week and got some response from one (B) and no response from the other (A).

When I found out about the unfriending I realized that the GS line had been crossed and the family line had been breached and I asked two other people to run our troop meeting so I could meet with the co-leaders. I had told them that I didn't want to do this GS troop with them as long as there was damage being done to our friend relationship.

Long story short, conflict not over, A wants to keep working together, B will think about it. A has now requested to friend me and my daughter again without any apologizes or explanations. Daughter is confused and doesn't understand why this person who is married to her godfather would do this.


No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
~Erma Bombeck.

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