I feel so much anger toward myself AND other people. I say those things, too. I can't let myself off the hook for the ways my life is not like I wish it was. Urgh, I don't think I'm very articulate tonight. I look at myself the way I think other people look at me: I'm on disability, so I must be lazy and enjoy "living off the system"--not true--my psychiatrist had to convince me that I wasn't ready to work because I had started to apply for jobs. I have lost my rational mind and can't see things as they are. The weight loss journey is a more difficult one for us, I think. I can't give into thinking that I am fat and disgusting, because weight loss will only happen when I can accept my body and all of me as it is. Yet whenever I go out, I think that others see me as fat and disgusting. I am constantly afraid of being judged, yet I am my worst critic! -sweetpea
I strive for perfection everyday knowing it is an impossible goal, so my constant thought was you are not doing it good enough . After some therapy I have learned that I have always known that God see me and everyone around me as his most perfect creations. So I just need to take a moment and remind myself that the one person who counts the most, God already thinks I am perfect. Then I go on with my do performing to the best of my ability.
we depressed people all have something we tell ourselves.
"i'm a loser" "he hates me" "i can't do anything right" "it's my fault my 35 year old daughter is on drugs" "oh no! i should die for the mistake i made" etc etc.
(please don't feel i am taking it lightly by saying "etc", i just want to get on with my point)
here's the challenge: what is the stinkin thinkin you have or have had, and what is the TRUTH?
example: "just because he is angry at me doesn't mean he hates me. being angry is normal. and real." "i may have made mistakes, and they may have affected my daughter, but there is no way i can take the blame for her drug problem. she is 35 for goodness sake. she had her own decision to make..."
you get the picture? let's see how this goes!
my daughter is 22, but i feel like the above. and i always feel i should die when i make mistakes. but i am human. and i will make a mistake tomorrow, and probably another one before i go to bed tonight. and i just need to learn how to live through it and not let it get me down. i don't hate on other people when they make mistakes. so why do i think everybody hates on me? and why do i hate on me? weird!
"so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 cor 10:31
"therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that so easily entangles, and let us run w/perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews
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