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TEACHING1ST's Photo TEACHING1ST SparkPoints: (81,044)
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3/19/12 7:21 A

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Isn't it great that he still knew there was supposed to be a response! How wonderful!

Mary

Mary
Houston, TX.


All in good time...and with the help of my friends.

Today: I pray to shift the way I approach life, to move deliberately and consciously, to become attentive.

SparkPeople editor Stepfanie says:
At some point you realize that life is just that: life. Ups, downs, good, bad, it's all just life. It all balances out, and letting every little bump in the road sideline you is no way to live.


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MARRRBO's Photo MARRRBO SparkPoints: (44,115)
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3/19/12 7:02 A

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Yesterday, my Dad said, "Thank you, Father" after he received the host. I thought it sounded cute!

Actions speak louder than words.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,581
3/8/12 1:45 A

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Well said, Mary!

And MARRBO and CATHOLICCORGI - good attitudes for some not very positive experiences!


cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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TEACHING1ST's Photo TEACHING1ST SparkPoints: (81,044)
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3/7/12 10:49 P

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This is so interesting...I've learned so much just from reading all your experiences! My parish is huge: well over 8,000 families of many ethnic backgrounds. We have Indians from India who wear their saris, Africans in "dashikis" with huge headwraps, American teens in very little of anything, lol! And everything else! It's a shame that those people you've come in contact with were so unwelcoming, regardless of the situation or what anyone had on!

We have families with children with disabilities and lately a lot of older adult children with disabilities. We do have 2 cry rooms for small children as well as a nursery. I've recently seen the Eucharistic ministers go out of their way to come give Communion to any of the people who need to stay in the pew. There are many places at the end of the pews that are bumped out to accommodate walkers or wheelchairs, too. As we have a more aged population we're going to need as much patience and welcoming to both the 'affected' parishioners and their family members.

My mother is in assisted living and someone brings Communion weekly, with a priest saying Mass once a month. And this is a Baptist run facility! She's so cute...she says that so many people from our old home parish live there now that they're going to convert the place to Catholicism!

Mary
Houston, TX.


All in good time...and with the help of my friends.

Today: I pray to shift the way I approach life, to move deliberately and consciously, to become attentive.

SparkPeople editor Stepfanie says:
At some point you realize that life is just that: life. Ups, downs, good, bad, it's all just life. It all balances out, and letting every little bump in the road sideline you is no way to live.


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MARRRBO's Photo MARRRBO SparkPoints: (44,115)
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3/7/12 10:13 P

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My neighbor and I just ended up smiling about it. Couldn't do any thing else!
emoticon

Actions speak louder than words.


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CATHOLICCORGI's Photo CATHOLICCORGI Posts: 3,800
3/7/12 10:04 A

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Marrrbo, I had an interesting experience two Saturdays back, at our 5pm Mass. I usually dress well when I go to Mass, but Saturdays are very "casual" most weeks at my parish. I have to sort of play it by ear with my DH and going to Mass, so this particular Saturday I didn't think I could get away, and had been working in the yard. Well, DH said "Aren't you going to Mass?" I looked, and I had 15 minutes to make it... so I went. Well, the only seat I could get was next to this lady dressed to the 9's. She glared at me, and moved a bit away. When the SOP occured, she turned in the opposite direction. At first I was offended. Then the HS told me I was wrong... Jesus was treated far worse, and I was to love this lady anyway, and be sure I never behaved that way... She did not know my situation and I did not know hers. We were there to worship our God. It taught me a lesson. God was glad we BOTH were there!

Step into the unknown with confidence! Trust that in the darkness of that first step there will either be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly!


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3/7/12 7:58 A

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I love the "little church stories" posted here- so cute! Would like to read more! I bet Father Bob has some good ones! Right now I can't think of any from own experience.

One not nice thing happened at church last Sunday. We, (my Dad and a neighbor who we take turns driving to church), sat in front of persons who were of ethnic back ground. When it came to the part of Mass when you give greetings of peace, they turned their backs on us! I couldn't believe it! We never seen these people in this church before. We felt very uncomfortable. Not my Dad though- he didn't notice. (The reason I mention the ethnicity is because I think maybe they didn't like caucasians).

Actions speak louder than words.


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,581
3/7/12 12:02 A

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Thank you for your stories, CATHOLICCORGI and JCEDIT!

And your comments regarding the 'noises' were beautiful, Father Bob! Thank you for offering your perspective. I agree - there is a hearing impaired woman who celebrates at 11 am when I go. She misses the responses, and so her voice can be heard clear and strong, a few beats after everyone else's. If she is not there, we miss her terribly! Likewise, a mentally challenged man often has his various sports paraphrenalia (inflatable guitar, etc.) for sporting events that take place right after Mass. He goes every week, and is well known in our city for his wonderful spirit and dedication to all of our sports teams. He is just part of the Body of Christ, albeit a little 'off-beat'.

cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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MARRRBO's Photo MARRRBO SparkPoints: (44,115)
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2/21/12 10:25 P

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Thank you all for your kind responses.
This church is very small and does not have a crying room. I was thinking....... the 3 churches closest to me do not have a crying room. I was going to ask if churches still have them. The Church I went to as a child had one. But I haven't seen one in a church since.

Actions speak louder than words.


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JCEDIT89's Photo JCEDIT89 SparkPoints: (165,665)
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2/20/12 5:55 P

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I would echo everyone's sentiments here and add my experience as a parishoner. At our weekday morning Mass, we frequently are graced with presence of another father and daughter. The gentleman is elderly (96!) and attends as often as he can. We miss him when he is unable to come.

This man is a real delight. He greets everyone; has introduced himself to me, a complete stranger to him; and participants in the Mass as best he can. Since we are in the small house chapel on weekdays, we are in a very small room, sitting very close together. So everyone can hear everything.

All singing, especially those of us who are off-key, is welcome. All prayer intentions are heard . All sniffles, coughs, and "Amens" are recorded. My favorite is when our elderly visitor accepts Communion from our paster with "Thank you very much. Have a nice day."

God bless you and yours. emoticon

"You cannot accept another with a hateful heart. You cannot hear the other with a closed mind. You cannot embrace with closed arms. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."
--Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi


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CATHOLICCORGI's Photo CATHOLICCORGI Posts: 3,800
2/20/12 5:06 P

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I am adding my prayers, too!
It is not easy to "grin and bear it"... my Dad had a brain tumor and would behave totally out of character. My DH has behavior issues, too, that I originally thought was Alzheimer's, but now know it is due to stroke. He wanders off, is pushy in the grocery or stores, and says whatever comes into his head... in a really loud tone of voice. I am learning humility, tolerance, and patience! There is wisdom in being "still" and answering the "behaviors" with a quiet spirit and soft voice.
May God grant you guidance and discernment... He will send you the help you need, and give you grace for the moment.
emoticon emoticon

Step into the unknown with confidence! Trust that in the darkness of that first step there will either be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly!


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ROBERTGSHOWERS's Photo ROBERTGSHOWERS Posts: 56
2/20/12 4:44 P

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I, too, add my prayers and support. It is not easy watching the parents we look up grow old and weak. The situation is, of course, more difficult for you than for those around you. Your father is more disruptive for you than for the rest of us. As a celebrant, I am firmly convinced that the sound og babies, young children, giggling teenagers, nose blowing adults with hay fever, and old people talking loudly are beautiful, NECESSARY noises of a living parish. I miss those noises at Mass if they are absent! These noises are a gift. They affirm the oneness of faith from generation to generation.

Still, it is a burden for the caregivers to bear. I echo what others have said: perhaps you can find other people to trade off with, so it's not always just you who has to deal with this.

THANK YOU to you and your father for being part of us.

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2/20/12 12:08 P

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You've already received the best advice, I think. I wanted to add this though: you and your father have every right to be there. I would hope your fellow worshippers would be understanding.

Athena

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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 30,581
2/20/12 9:30 A

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MARRRBO, I'm sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this lately. How upsetting for you when you remember what he was like at Mass before. The suggestions to try out the 'crying room' or to ask the priest are great ones. I have nothing to add but love and prayers for it to improve.

cj

God is closer to us than water is to a fish.
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.
- Psalm 127:1




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DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (351,761)
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2/20/12 8:35 A

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We have a crying room and many seniors do that .. Take him and see what happens he might be an angel

DEE Southern New Jersey
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SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
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Faith makes all thing possible
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God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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TEACHING1ST's Photo TEACHING1ST SparkPoints: (81,044)
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2/20/12 8:20 A

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I'm so sorry to hear of this. My father went down that slippery slope very quickly at 85. He passed away right after Thanksgiving this year. I took him to Mass on the weekends I was visiting and the thing I noticed immediately was that he SANG at Mass...first time I ever heard that, lol!

Could you have a friend/relative come with you and give some extra help? If he starts getting disruptive either you or the friend could suggest that it was time to leave and take him to either the back of the church---or the cry room? I'm sure if you mention your concerns to your priest he might be able to give you an idea of what others have done in the same case.

I hope you have lots of help along the way. Bless you for being as concerned as you are for his spiritual well being!

Mary

Mary
Houston, TX.


All in good time...and with the help of my friends.

Today: I pray to shift the way I approach life, to move deliberately and consciously, to become attentive.

SparkPeople editor Stepfanie says:
At some point you realize that life is just that: life. Ups, downs, good, bad, it's all just life. It all balances out, and letting every little bump in the road sideline you is no way to live.


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MARRRBO's Photo MARRRBO SparkPoints: (44,115)
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2/20/12 7:53 A

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My 91 year old father has dementia and is starting to be disruptive during mass. He is hard of hearing and refuses to wear hearing aides- (due to progressive dementia). Repeats questions, etc. I thought I would try to sneak off to church with out him yesterday. But he asked what time I was going to pick him up for church. So he is still alert enough to know that Sunday is go to church day.
I am so grateful that he is not so far gone and for being able to have conversations with him and that he is physically healthy.

Any suggestions on dealing with the disruptions? In public, I just grin and bear it.......


(He was an alter boy and still remembers Latin parts!)

Actions speak louder than words.


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