(Those of you who were following my sugar experiment it has been absorbed into a much larger life experiment , I will do my best to keep reporting on it with my daily updates but I will cease to do so in the sugar experiment blogs and do so here in The Plan)
Well I keep telling everyone else they need to have a plan and I keep posting quotes about success and planning and being prepared I guess itís high time I followed my own advice.
I had an excellent appointment today with the dietitian at the hospital. Because I am diabetic they sent me to her to see if she could help regulate my diet.
I really didnít expect much going in; to be honest most medical people I deal with have the mindset of: What your fat? Well geesh stop eating and exercise and you wonít be fat, or they think overweight people are just stupid and lazy and itís their own fault
(yes the medical people, the ones who are suppose to be helping you get healthy, more than a few of them think this, they did poll..Drís..Nurses..
So itís important to find someone who is on the same page as you when getting help, now someone feeling sorry for you is not what I am talking about..Patting you on the bottom telling you its ok and not your fault, no that is not what we need.
However we do need medical people who are at least aware of the issue and realize itís not that people are stupid, fat and lazy that there is a little more to it than that. Now she did tell me I need to get my crap together and start taking better care of myself, but she gave me some wonderful tools to use so I figured it was finally time to create my POA (thatís not piece of a** either, its PLAN OF ACTION)
You canít build a house without plans, you canít win any sort of game without a plan, most everything in life that requires more than a little effort also requires a plan, why should getting myself healthy be any different?
So I need to gather all my tools and put them in my tool box and craft myself some blue prints
Tai Chi & Qi Gong (Chi Kung)
**I have so many books, DVDís, cd and handouts itís almost disgusting, the real crime is my lack of using them. I have so much that I need to pick out what I think will be the most beneficial to start and go from there. So with that I mind
I have a stack of books in front of me I plan to be my core tools and I will expand and add to them as I go along. I will name the books and give a description and also provide the Amazon link in case anyone wants to investigate further
The Tapping Cure by: Roberta Temes, PhD: www.amazon.com/Tapping-Cure-Revolutionary-
A Revolutionary Way to Heal Phobias, Depression, Anxiety, Anger--in Minutes
The Tao of Recovery by Jerry L www.amazon.com/Tao-Recovery-Jerry-L/dp/141
The AA Big Book meets the Tao Teh Ching. Ancient wisdom for present day recovery from addiction.
About the Author
the author is a retired professional in the recovery field. He has fourteen years of 12 Step Recovery experience and is an on-going, active participant. He is a world traveler with thirty years of study of the Tao that includes spending time in Asia. He is a Viet Nam veteran who has used a combination of the ancient wisdom of the Tao and a 12 Step recovery program to face life\'s adventures. Jerry teaches Tai chi Chuan at the Five Elements Healing Arts Center in Houlton, Maine.
**I am very fortunate to know the author as he is the one who guides my tai chi class. An amazing person my life is defiantly richer for knowing him and his book is amazing as well, I will probably spend my lifetime absorbing the wisdom contained within**
8 Minute Meditation by Victor Davich www.amazon.com/Minute-Meditation-Quiet-Min
...Davich's little guide to meditation is indeed humorous, wise, effective, and resolutely nonsectarian... -- Library Journal
In recent years, mainstream Americans have begun to come around to meditation in a big way-and scientific studies are suggesting that the physical and mental benefits are solid and real. But to many, it remains something mystical and inaccessible...and spiritually-oriented tomes on the market don't do much to make it easier.
**I started reading this one but never finished, it was decent so far, I got right up until the point I was suppose to start the actual meditation and I figured ďIíll do it tomorrowĒ which is slacker code for I will put it off as long as humanly possible and probably never really do it.
But I have had some experience with breathing meditation, we learned it in tai chi class, If you can breathe and count (which is kind of optional) then you can meditate. Your mind will race, thoughts will jump out at you, but you donít have to be a Zen master to do it. I have had some great experience with breathing meditation and I know that it holds great power. I have a herniated disk in my back for those of you not fortunate enough to have gone through this itís the most intense, excruciating pain. I have ever felt, I would seriously take a kick in the manhood before that pain
Extremely painful; causing intense suffering; unbearably distressing; torturing: an excruciating noise; excruciating pain.
So yes it was NOT fun at all. I could stand or lay down but not sit, if I did the pain was unbearable. I had to call my mom to come get me at 3 am and rush me to the hospital.
I live maybe 2-3 miles so itís a fairly quick trip. We didnít even get a minute from the house and I had to have her stop in the middle of the road so I could get out and straighten up. As soon as I got back in, PAIN again.
I was crying and thrashing all about, all of a sudden my tai chi guideís voice came into my head and I heard ďrigid is associated with death and fluid is associated with lifeĒ I calmed myself down and started doing the breathingÖbreath inÖoneÖbreath out ...one and I just kept doing it over and over again.
I managed to hold the pain at bay long enough to get into the ER. The pain was still there but by concentrating on the breathing I managed to hold it off and make it bearable. Once I got to the hospital it took 3 injections of high powered narcotics, one was morphine I donít recall what the other 2 were, 1 was weaker than morphine and the 3rd was stronger.
Suffice to say I was plastered and I could barely walk out of there, but it took that much pain medication to get my back to stop hurting and I was able to control it for a few minutes with breathing. I donít care what you believe I know firsthand, there is something to this stuff
The Happiness Trap By Russ Harris: www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-S
This book has been touted in various therapy groups as fantastic, I am going to give it a read and see if I can apply what it has in there to my life. More to come on this later
Eat THIS not THAT By: David Zinczenko www.amazon.com/This-Thousands-Simple-Swaps
Eat what you want, when you want--and watch the pounds disappear!
I am sure everyone has heard of this book by now, I think itís interesting and shall make use of it on my journey to better health.
Introduction to Buddhism By Geshe Kelsang Gyatso www.amazon.com/Introduction-Buddhism-Expla
I have been spiritually ďlostí for a while now, I do consider myself a Christian, I was raised catholic but I have yet to find what my soul needs from the church, I have always been interested in the ways of Buddhism so I am going to explore to see if there are any answers there I have not found yet.
I also have another book sent to me by a dear sparkfriend (thank you Zippy) That will help me in my Buddhism exploration. Its called
It's Easier Than You Think: The Buddhist Way to Happiness by Sylvia Boorstein www.amazon.com/Its-Easier-Than-You-Think/d
I got some great papers from the dietitian I feel will be very beneficial in my journey I plan on posting and sharing them at some point so everyone can enjoy them But the ones I have are called:
Ten Top Strategies for losing Weight
Learning how to change habits
Zen EatingóTaste more, eat less
Satiety: The secret sauce to weight control
Intuitive Eating Principles
Curbing your appetite for stress-inspired Eating
Clueing in to eating cues
And a bunch of stuff on Distress tolerance
I dare say the most key component of this whole process, just like I canít accomplish my goals without a plan, the plan is pretty useless without goals.
1. To lose the excess weight so I can live a happy and healthy life. My weight loss goal is currently
2. To get off disability and get back to work. I am confident accomplishing goal #1 will help me to accomplish this. If the weight comes off my physical ailments should all but disappear, which means hopefully my back will stop being upset with me and the sleep apnea will disappear and I wonít have to use the CPAP machine at night anymore
3. Through my own journey I hope to be able to take what I have learned and help other people who are struggling and languishing in the same hell I am
4. I would like to have the body of a Greek god *chuckles* the muscular chest, the 6 pack abs, the
whole package. This is really a sub goal. It can be dangerous to get hung up on physical appearance
thatís how harmful mindsets are born. I would like it, and if I put the hard work in I might accomplish
it, then again I might not, some people just arenít built like that no matter how much they work out
so as long as I am healthy I pray that will be enough for me. Actually I am a little fearful of getting all cut and in shape, I am a borderline ego maniac now, Shudder to think of what I would act like if I had the body and confidence to match, it might be an ugly scene *chuckles*
These are the things I want to accomplish once my main goals set me free and allow me to do the things I cannot do now due to my size
1. Skydiving. This is how I plan to celebrate reaching my weight goal, I am going to throw my butt out of an airplane, I dare say I will be scared crap less but I got to do it, you only live once so I want to have no regrets.
2. Snowboarding: I am not much of a fan of skiing but snowboarding looks really fun, when I am a little leaner and my sense of balance is keener I defiantly want to give this a try
3. Kickboxing: I REALLY want to train in kickboxing; I also want to try my hand fighting in the ring. I donít know if I am made for combat, I seem to think I am, however I am not going to know till I step between the ropes. At the very least it will be a great stress reliever
4. To be able to shop at place other than a ďbig menís shopĒ I will relish the day I can pick something off the rack and try it on and buy it. That will be a great day indeed
5. Run a triathlon. It will be a great testament to how far I have come to be able to do something like this, it doesnít matter what place I come in so long as I try it.
My goals as well as my plan will grow and change and mutate as I go along, I am confident I can adapt it on the fly as I need to
To begin with I plan to utilize my tools everyday as follows
Qi Gong (Chi Kung):
I will do 5 exercises off the list I have, 5 isnít that many and I should be able to hold myself on course with it every day. My goal here is to eventually do all of the exercises (there are about 17-22 of them) and then move on to doing it twice a day once in the morning and once at night, then go and take and learn the actual tai chi form. The Chi Kung is kind of what we do for ďwarm upĒ before the form, I have studied the form a little bit but weight and back pain has been a barrier to really study it how I would like to. I will do this right when I get up so that I can have a positive start to my day
I will at least once a day do 10 breaths (unless I need more) and work towards doing this 3 times a day, once in the morning, noon and night. But once a day will get me started
I am not 100% sure about this yet I have to finish reading the book to get the full scope of what I am suppose to do and what it will do for me, I am skeptical but my mind is open to trying new things, the worst thing that can happen is nothing so I what have I to lose?
I will make reading the tapping book a top priority and push myself to get it done so that I can begin using this
Aside from the Chi Kung/Tai Chi I will also start doing 30 push upís a day, 3 sets of 10. Granted they are going to be wall pushups but you have to start somewhere. As I go along I will incorporate sit ups and leg lifts into my routine I will just have to listen to my body and let it tell me what it can and canít do, I will just have to be on guard so I donít lie to myself because I want to be lazy. I will refine this time line as I go along.
I will work on incorporating swimming in as a regular exercise. To start my goal will be once a week going to the health club and swimming. I will then transition to 2 times a week, then 3 with the ultimate goal being 5 times a week. I will refine this time line as I go along
I read in the paper that a local martial arts school teaches Jujitsu. I am going to call and get the information on how much the classís are and when they meet. I am going to have to shed some weight before I can begin this as I need to be able to move around and be pain free, so long as my back bothers me this will prevent me from doing this so the weight must start to come off. Later on down the road I will take kick boxing the time line on this has yet to be determined I will make changes accordingly.
I have several books I have chosen to use as tools to help me on various topics I find of interest. I will read 5 pages a day from 1 book until I finish it and move on to the next. I may read more if I like but 5 pages is the minimum; I will increase this as I go along and build my routine.
I have a plethora of information I have been given and amassed over the years on everything from mindfulness to dealing with eating disorders to distress tolerance.
I will choose at least one hand out a day to read and study and figure out how best to use the information, I will read the same hand out for as long as needed in order to retain the information
I will post my plan and goals and progress online for anyone who is interested, this will ensure I do not isolate myself and give me a small level of accountability, the more public I make what I am doing the less shame I will feel and the more it will help me to work towards my goals.
Suffering in shame and silence is no way to live my life, itís not like I can hide my weight people can obviously see it I might as well acknowledge it and be openly working towards making myself healthy. I wonít let those who judge me bother me, itís there problem not mine.
People are going to start at me when I go out into public; itís a fact of life. I have no idea what they are thinking so I am going to stop assuming they are calling me names and stop putting myself down, instead I am going to just assume they have never seen such a fine specimen of manliness before and they are in awe of it.
So I will let them drink it in. Those people who want to put me down or call me names or laugh, I will work on not letting it bother me, why should it?
Nothing they can say or do will impact my life, if anything it will give me more ambition to achieve my goals, as they say sticks and stone will break my bones but names will never hurt me. I must remember this.
I will continue to post to the forums I post to so that I keep learning from others and hopefully pass along a little information that might be of use to someone else.
This is MY plan to help me achieve a better life, you donít have to agree with it or do it for yourself itís for me, I shared it here, well just to share it.
Take anything helpful from it you want and leave what you donít like, if you donít care for any of it, thatís alright itís for me not you ;)
Make up your own plan! Only you know what works best for you so put it on paper and figure out how to execute it. No one is going to do it for you.
Daily To-Do List:
Get up & make the bed
Do 5 Chi Kung Exercises
Do push ups (3x10)
Feed the Cat & scoop the litter box
Feed the Fish
Sit down and do breathing meditation (10 breaths)
Check blood sugar and track it
Have breakfast & track it on Sparkpeople.com & take meds
Breakfast should be under 500 calories
Send out my Words of Encouragement and do Huddles
Read 5 pages in book
Read and study one of my handouts
Have a snack (2 hours after breakfast)
snack should be no more than 100-200 calories unless meals are going to be later than anticipated
Have lunch & track it on Sparkpeople.com (2 hours after snack)
Work towards lunch being under 10000calories
Have snack (2 hours after lunch)
snack should be no more than 100-200 calories unless meals are going to be later than anticipated
Have supper & track on Sparkpeople.com (2 hours after snack)
Work on having supper be under 1000 calories
The caloric intake goal for the day is no more than 2500 calories.
If I strive for a 400 calorie breakfast, should be easy to do because almost always itís less than this. A 200 calorie snack, then have a 900 calorie lunch (or less) this should be my big meal of the day, then a 200 calorie snack in the afternoon and then an 800 calorie (or less) supper I will achieve my goal of 2500 calories.
I will work to find ways to shave off calories when I can but I must find ways to ensure that I feel full so that I am not temped to binge.
Itís imperative that I keep my meal schedule so that my blood sugar stays regulated, if I can keep that pretty level I should not fall into the traps where I feel hungry and lose control and eat whatever I want.
I will make changes to this accordingly; as I lose weight my caloric intake should be reduced. The thought is you eat 10 calories for every 10 pounds so if I want to weigh 250 pounds I should not eat more than 2500 calories a day and this should ensure I lose weight, I still have to do some investigating on this as some days I feel like I have eating far less than this yet not shed any pounds. I will be mindful of it and adjust my intake as needed.
I will continue my sugar experiment but that shall be assimilated into this much grander plan as I strive for a better, healthier life.
I will not deny myself any sort of food or drink I desire, save drinks like diet soda or sugar free that contains artificial sweeteners, my own personal belief is these are harmful to me and are impeding my weight loss.
If I want something I will eat it, my biggest battle will be to ensure moderation. If I want a piece of cake I can have a piece of cake, I need to ensure itís a reasonable piece of cake and not half of the entire cake.
I need to be mindful of my portions sizes, when I am hungry my eyes are bigger than my stomach and 9 times out of 10 I end up eating more than I should. This is a slippery slope but I will do my best to navigate it and make changes as need be. I know I will fall many times but I will find a way to pick myself up and keep moving forward and learn from each misstep.
I will execute this plan beginning on June 15, 2009. This gives me time to ensure I have all the tools in place I need so that I can be successful. I must work extra hard to be vigilant and not let myself be lazy, when things get tough I have a tendency to throw in the towel , this MUST and WILL change. If I do not do this my only other option is the gastric bypass surgery, I have made a choice I will not walk down that road so now I have to enforce that choice and do what I need to do.
" Taking ACTION is the ultimate power of Motivation. Nothing beats it, period."
Do not stop enjoying the wonders of life despite the inevitable hurting that impairs our soul. Hence, it does not make you less of a person when you weep in tears and are in distress. Nonetheless, learn to withstand the stings of time; rise on your feet for no one can ever bring back the soul in you and the beauty of life except you, and you and you."
| Pounds lost: 78.0