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AEROG8R's Photo AEROG8R Posts: 37
4/18/10 11:46 A

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JacquieAnn, I think that is a great idea too... We all need to be taking care of ourselves in order to be strong enough to take care of others.

On top of that - with putting your best foot forward with everything else - I think it reminds us that we are valuable and worth effort, and yes, we can be cute and attractive even though we might be carrying a little extra cuddliness. ;) To me, those rituals are part of telling myself and the world that yes, I am worth the investment; and I think: If I can feel cute now, I will feel even better minus 40 pounds!

That's my two cents... hope it helps :)

"Habit is habit, and cannot be thrown out the window by any man, but must be dragged gently down one step at a time." -Mark Twain

"Try not. Do, or do not! There is no try." -Yoda :)


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JACQUIEANN1's Photo JACQUIEANN1 SparkPoints: (31,431)
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4/18/10 12:16 A

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thank you judi
this is such a new concept for me as i said i have that 'new thing that is the answer'buzz.
i have picked up from beck so far that what i am is enough and that i am not less than or not enough i can make choices for my own good without having to say sorry 30 times.
not a bad thing to learn!!
i have spent so long feeling i was either not enough or too much it is a real liberation.
food wise I'm not making the grade yet but am exercising more and trying to care for me
jacquie



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JUDI_CUTIE's Photo JUDI_CUTIE Posts: 7,952
4/17/10 8:34 P

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Hi JacquieAnn, I really like your new thought. I hope you will not feel guilty about it. I think you deserve to do everything wonderful for yourself. Why shouldn't you?!

I have never been a people pleaser, but I seem to attract people pleasers as my closest friends. I must have some kind of complementary personality, something like "demanding" ...

But when my friends do their people pleasing thing, it drives me nuts and I want to pound them! I was just having lunch with a very dear friend who runs a program that had a rough year financially. Well, who didn't have a rough year financially this year!? So she said she feels like she let them down. I asked her if she thought she had been lazy or had missed opportunities to increase enrollment or if she had made bad decisions. She said no, she had not. So I said, why does she think she let them down? Why does she blame herself? She got my point!

Anyway, that might have been a little off track... but I think that one of the things that Beck stresses is that you have a right to take good care of yourself. You have a right to make choices that "upset" someone else, like if someone wants you to eat something they cooked. And you have a right to spend time on yourself! Losing weight takes a lot of time and concentration, and nothing else you are doing (the things you do for everyone ELSE), is more important than this. You are allowed to do things for YOU!

So, I'm glad you went for a walk. And one more thing... I have another good friend who is a life coach, and she is always saying, "Guilt is a wasted emotion!"

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Sparkfully Yours, Judi

Dear Spark Friends, I may not always write back about everything each person posts, but I am really interested in you! If you ever need me, send me a Spark Mail and I will always answer!


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4/17/10 7:30 P

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i was reading a book and it asked how would you live what ever your weight if you knew when you would die.and a thought came to me,i want to live as if im beautiful.
it felt very selfish but im going to go with it and try to take extream care of my self.in my food body care skin care make up and in taking time for my self.
all this is a bit radical for a people pleaser but i have a real buzz about it.
going for a walk now as i feel guilty about this and im not going to punish my self with food.

Edited by: JACQUIEANN1 at: 4/17/2010 (19:32)

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