Hello. I'm not new to SparkPeople and technically not new to this community as I joined it almost a year ago - but I've been on-again-off-again with everything and not as active in the communities I joined as I meant to be and I don't think I ever even made an introduction post here.
I'm 29, almost thirty and..... I am done being the fat girl. At my heaviest five years ago I was 308 pounds.I lost some with another fitness plan and then during my first few months on SparkPeople I lost 32 pounds - and then gained 10 of it back over the last six months due to life stress, a lack of motivation and a also a big lack of support.So I'm currently at 236.5, but I need to be about 90-100 pounds lighter to be at my healthiest.
Now that I'm almost thirty, I've told myself I need to really just buckle down and do this because I want to enjoy the rest of my life, not regret any more of it. I've told myself since I was a teenager I'd lose weight someday. It's now several thousand"someday's" later.
I'm try to have a lot of inner motivation again for this, but I feel like I'm getting hit with a lot of curveballs. None of my friends will be supportive and I find that very demotivating, especially when so much of the social things they want to do involve food, and lots of it.
I'm trying to find some support, because that's really where I get tripped up; I find myself not having any positive reinforcement and lots of negative (i.e. friends pushing with "just a few cheese sticks won't hurt" and "try the pie and the cake too!" and following with "why do you want to wake up that early just to exercise? it's a waste of time").
I feel embarrassed a lot of the time too wanting to get some positive reinforcement for what I'm doing since I need to do it, that's a no-brainer, I want and need to be healthy, but I'm realizing more and more that while there's a lot of things I'm good at doing solo, this isn't one of them.
Edited by: THEMOONWITHIN at: 6/14/2012 (22:33)
"None of us really changes over time. We only become more fully what we are."
- The Vampire Lestat
| Pounds lost: 39.2