Hi, I'm Mugglez. Had RNY surgery in 2009, dropped 154lbs then due to stress, emotional eating, working long hours and no exercise I've gained 40lbs. Suffering from depression, anxiety, PTSD. Married 11 years with two golden retrievers. I can no longer get to my support group (2hrs away) and while we're online it isn't the same as getting face to face with the people that started supporting me back in 2008. I'm looking for some motivation to get moving, find another way of coping besides eating... and learning to not beat myself up for the 40lb weight gain. I have a major sabboteur in my family (my mother) and while I don't live with her, suffice it to say that when I was at my lowest weight she accused me of pushing my weight loss in her face when I spoke about where I was in my journey and my feelings. She had lost 250lbs back in the 80's after having a gastroplasty (stomach stapling). She gained back 50lbs and has been at the same weight for almost two decades. My father kept calling her an ugly slag or hag and then after my success she did that to me one Christmas. With my struggles, I eat to feel good and its been that way my whole life. Now even my mother is pushing food on me telling me I'm obsessing on what I'm eating. Even after the 40lbs gain I call myself fat and she says I'm finally looking normal. Well when you're 4'10" and weight 187lbs that isn't normal... My husband is a great support as is his family. I have friends who are as well including one friend who followed me into surgery and who is struggling not to lose more... and has n fact lost more than the surgeon is comfy with. I'm looking to SPARKPEOPLE to help me gain my confidence, my self-respect, and a way to cope with wanting to eat everything. The stress isn't going to go away for a few years... it is out of my control. But the eating is... I found IndyGirl to be very inspiring... and I'm hoping I can turn myself around too. Hello SparkPeople!
RNY 25-Mar-09 / Surgery Weight 263
Height 4'10" / Highest Weight 297
Current Weight (14-Dec-12) 187
Goal Weight 145
| Pounds lost: 0.0