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LIFE-FAITH's Photo LIFE-FAITH Posts: 7,656
7/24/13 10:41 A

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Thank you Bernice.
I do appreciate every moment with my parents, even though some days it is challenging. She resents the care I give to my dad, she feels that he deserves to be where he is because he smoked. Well.. she starves herself to death -almost... at any rate - I continue because I care. No one can guilt me - I have five siblings - three do not bother, one brother (lives in my backyard in his camper) does help more now, one sister does dad's finances and comes out maybe twice a month.

I do what I can as much as I can.

Jean

Dad: BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

Leader:Loving Our Kidneys
Kidney Failure is the 8th leading cause of death in USA


"Seventy years are given to us! Some may even reach eighty.
But even the best of these years are filled with pain and trouble;soon they disappear, and we are gone."(Psalms 90:10)

You cannot change your life until you change something
that you do every day.
~John C. Maxwell~


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7/24/13 12:25 A

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Thanks for sharing some things about you SPARK-JEAN and ALASKABRED
Know it is much different caring for you parents
I assisted with the care of my parents several years ago and am never sorry took the time out of my life to spend with them it is very rewarding and just do what you can and accept no guilt if someone thinks you are not doing a good enough job even guilt from yourself you are doing the best you know how one day at a time
Love Prayers Peace
Bernice

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LIFE-FAITH's Photo LIFE-FAITH Posts: 7,656
4/26/13 9:49 A

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I need a bit of encouragement taking care of my dad, helping my mom is challenging some days!!

I used to be on this team a while back, life got too busy, but I am back!!

I am married have 4 grown kids and 6 grandkids

I have been on spark for 5 years (june) and am motivated to lose a bit of weight this summer and to get fitter.
Jean



Dad: BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

Leader:Loving Our Kidneys
Kidney Failure is the 8th leading cause of death in USA


"Seventy years are given to us! Some may even reach eighty.
But even the best of these years are filled with pain and trouble;soon they disappear, and we are gone."(Psalms 90:10)

You cannot change your life until you change something
that you do every day.
~John C. Maxwell~


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ALASKABRED's Photo ALASKABRED Posts: 65
2/27/13 10:44 P

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My Mother has Alzheimer's and I am responsible for ensuring she has care, finances, etc. She is in a memory care unit and I am thankful for them because I would not have been able to handle her. She is their most trying resident in many ways. I worry about her finances, her health, her happiness, and I am learning that I have to care for myself again. Mom had a wonderful life and at my age was care free, no worries in the world. So, I should not feel guilty but I do....about how much I should visit, the fact she does not live with me... I am working to overcome that and but my marriage has been affected. I thought life at retirement would be wonderful but it definitely isn't what I had expected.

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11/7/12 8:41 P

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these cloudy grey days are depressing
falling into an rut of not doing anything
one day at a time

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LIFE-FAITH's Photo LIFE-FAITH Posts: 7,656
10/11/12 8:50 A

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I have been taking care of my parents stuff for over 20 years.
I am finding it a bit more challenging as they age and I am finishing my degree.

I have been on Spark for 4 years - with the goal of health. Now that health is within my grasp I am going to work on losing 40 pounds.
Jean

Dad: BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

Leader:Loving Our Kidneys
Kidney Failure is the 8th leading cause of death in USA


"Seventy years are given to us! Some may even reach eighty.
But even the best of these years are filled with pain and trouble;soon they disappear, and we are gone."(Psalms 90:10)

You cannot change your life until you change something
that you do every day.
~John C. Maxwell~


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DEBBY4576's Photo DEBBY4576 Posts: 4,425
8/4/12 10:46 P

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Very cute. I had 3 red haired daughters. I loved pink on them. Their hair just shone. But I rarely did red either. You made me smile, thinking of their young days. Whatever i didn't dress them in, I'm sure their closets are full of that color now haha.

Edited by: DEBBY4576 at: 7/24/2013 (18:41)
Northwest PST
Debby
CoLeader of Natural Remedies, Natural Health.

"Years teach us more than books."
Berthold Auerbach

Don't let your past hold your future hostage.


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8/4/12 9:43 P

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something about myself as a child had bright red hair and my mother would never dress me in red or pink now have snow white hair and my closet has lots of red and pink
one day at a time

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DEBORAHKT's Photo DEBORAHKT Posts: 958
6/5/12 10:35 P

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Hi Debby! Thank you for the warm welcome!

I don't really know what lies ahead; right now my husband is doing well accept for his foot and the side affects of the chemo. For the most part, he has done much better than I expected him too when all this first began.
I do appreciate th eplace to come to here, though. Very much so.

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6/5/12 10:32 P

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emoticon Deborah to a great team. We are all here to support,
encourage and pray for each other.

You've certainly had a rough way to go with your DH suffering with cancer.
I had BC in 2010, so I know something about all the things that take
place. It seems like there are endless trips to the cancer center and
doctors.

With all that you've had to take on, by taking care of your DH, I know it's
been very hard to take care of yourself. I hope that you take a little time
each day to relax and think of yourself. It's important for you to try to
stay healthy so you don't get sick. But I truly know how hard it is to
accomplish.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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DEBBY4576's Photo DEBBY4576 Posts: 4,425
6/5/12 9:49 P

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Hello Deborah. That's my name to btw.

I really feel for all you have had to go thru with your husband's illness. Hopefully the treatments will be successful and "this too shall pass".

The stress of having a loved one so sick and fighting for their life really takes a toll on you yourself. There are so many ups and downs with cancer. It's no wonder you've not felt like exercising, and you've been eating wrong. It's the last thing on your mind.

You will have people here, who know what you are going thru and maybe able to give you a soft place to be right now. Welcome, and I'm glad you realize you are important enough to take care of too.

Northwest PST
Debby
CoLeader of Natural Remedies, Natural Health.

"Years teach us more than books."
Berthold Auerbach

Don't let your past hold your future hostage.


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DEBORAHKT's Photo DEBORAHKT Posts: 958
6/5/12 3:23 P

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Hello I am Deborah and my husband is undergoing chemo for colon cancer at this time. He has only two more treatments scheduled, but we have been going through this since November.

My friend Peggy invited me to this group and I am happy she did. I need a group like this!

Thank you Peggy!

The last year has been the roughest one of my life and my own health has took a toll I believe from the stress. I certainly haven't been careful about my diet, nor have I felt like exercising and I have gained the weight back that I worked hard to lose.



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LOSE4LIFE47's Photo LOSE4LIFE47 Posts: 36,758
6/3/12 12:08 A

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Thanks so much for your prayers. It is really hard being a caretaker!

Peggy (Colorado)

Please check out the teams I am on Challenged by Arthritis, DO IT FOR LOVE!, Isagenix users & Osteoarthritis in (Hips or knees) mild or Severe teams!!!!







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6/2/12 11:24 P

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emoticon to a loving, caring, support group. You've come to the
right place. Post on chat, as we'd like to get to know you better.

I am so sorry to hear about your DH. I can't imagine how you and
he feels. I know that there is a lot to be concerned about.

I faced breast cancer in 2010, so I know how it feels to have cancer.
It is the unknown, that we worry about. But I put myself in the hands
of God and left it there.

Please know, that I will keep you & your DH in my prayers. I will also
put you on our emergency prayer list. May God bless you and give
you the strength & courage to get through each day.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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LOSE4LIFE47's Photo LOSE4LIFE47 Posts: 36,758
6/2/12 10:30 A

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Good morning everyone. My name is Peggy & I am from Arvada, Colorado. This team looks like what I need as I am caregiver to my husband & have been for 2 years this month. My husband has esophageal cancer. He went through chemo & radiation & even had major surgery. My husband is 63 (he will be 64 in Sept.) & I just turned 65. When they did surgery, the surgeon told us there was 1 lymph node that they couldn't get to as it is close to his heart & lungs. They also told us he will be doing good if he makes it 5 years. Now the cancer is back in 2 places (1 lymph node around the thyroid & 1 is the lymph node that they couldn't get to in the thorax close to the lungs & heart). My husband works 40 hours a week yet even though he gets very tired from the chemo pills he has been taking for a long time. I have my good days & my bad days & sometimes I feel all alone. We both know whatever God's will is is going to happen.

Edited by: LOSE4LIFE47 at: 6/5/2012 (12:33)
Peggy (Colorado)

Please check out the teams I am on Challenged by Arthritis, DO IT FOR LOVE!, Isagenix users & Osteoarthritis in (Hips or knees) mild or Severe teams!!!!







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MOM2GEO_JR's Photo MOM2GEO_JR Posts: 5,956
3/26/12 10:59 A

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Good morning, I am Marsha from Tampa, FL. Have been married 61 years. I am the caregiver for my DH. He is 84, ad I am 81. So glad that I found this group as I can use some support. I was a caregiver to both of my parents until the day they crossed over.

We have one Son, which is a blessing. He comes and keeps our yard mowed, edged, etc. plus anything else we need. He is getting married 12.12.12 to a wonderful lady.

My DH is losing the strength in his legs, and has a hard time getting around, he has a standard walker, and a fancy one with seat, basket, etc. He has lost all control of his bladder and this is my main concern. I have bought all kinds of Depends, plastic panties, and still leaks through. Any suggestions?


God Bless you all.
Marsha
Tampa, FL


"Be thankful for a new day when you wake up".
Use it the best you can by helping others less fortunate. Forgive and forget, life is too short.

Inhale Love, Exhale Peace,And Be Happy !


Birthday August 4th
(82 and proud and thankful of it).

Marsha
Tampa, FL


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MISTIHASE Posts: 10
3/2/12 7:05 P

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Okay, now having posted about my loved ones, I get to separate myself out and tell you more about me.

I am a single parent of two amazing kids that I adore! I have raised them without their father since they were 1 and 3. They are now 11 and 13. Because of their unique needs I homeschool both of them.

I am an LPN. But I am not working as one. I volunteer at a local ballet company working on costumes and helping out wherever I am needed.

This last year has been so monumental to me. I have come to realize, in a profound way, that I need to make the most out of every moment of life I am given! I owe it to myself and everyone who depends on me to take care of myself. Having watched the struggle my brother goes through on a daily basis just to get out of bed and take care of basic functions makes me realize that I have no excuse to not get out there and make the most of everyday. In fact, when I realize that I have this wonderful body that is capable of so much I feel like I owe it to myself to be the healthiest I can be and to challenge myself to do things I never thought I could do.

My daughter and I have just started a couch potato to 5K in eight weeks challenge. We have decided to do a 5K fun run for our local zoo in May as our first goal. My second goal this year is to do the Pikes Peak Challenge to benefit Craig Hospital in September of this year.

I see the world so differently now. No excuses! I've been given this body, it's my job to keep it healthy. It is a blessing and a gift to be able to get out of bed each day and move! I want to conquer mountains!

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. ~William Shakespeare


BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,049)
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10/19/11 11:00 P

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emoticon Susan to a great team, that will help, pray and encourage you,
as you go through this very difficult time.

I agree with Barbara, it is a good thing to make prearrangement funeral plans
for your Mom. I have already made them for my Mom, even have her dress.

We hope that you come back often to post and to vent, if necessary.



"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,817)
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10/19/11 10:45 A

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emoticon Susan,

We are so glad you found us and I know you will find many of your answers here. Also you will find love,support and motivation along with prayers daily.

I commend you for taking the step to finalize the funeral arrangements before hand for your Mom.I did this for my Mom about two years before I lost her and it sure made the final process so much easier and less painful.

Please check out the threads and join in the chat room and one of our favorites the "vent" thread. When things go wrong let it out...no judgement...we all need a place to let loose every now and then!

Also try the Give a goody thread. Just sign in and leave the last person and goody. That way everyone gets a goody!

Have a great day and we are so glad you are here with us!

Your Friend,
Barbara

IZZYBEBOP's Photo IZZYBEBOP Posts: 12,813
10/19/11 10:09 A

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I'm Susan, from Oklahoma, and have found myself in the position of not really being an official caretaker for my 84 year old mother, as she's still healthy (other than cataracts) and can do most everything for herself. But I'm trying to get some things taken care of, such as funeral arrangements, and she can be very stubborn and hard headed.
I am retired, but do some work from home. I also like to do digital scrap booking when I have time.

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8/2/11 10:30 P

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Welcome Maxine..you are in the right place honey. You are going to feel right at home here.
We know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. Like the old saying goes...Know one knows what I go through until they walk a mile in my shoes!

Sweetie God only picks the very best to be His Caretakers! Never second guess your abilities. Your family can stand in the back ground and make all types of suggestions and even accusations ,but until they start volunteering to pull their share of the load...ignore them.

90% of the stress on caretakers are put there by family and friends that are never active in the care of your Loved one. The so-called Do-gooders.

You stand your ground my friend. God will give you strength and it sounds like you have some good help with your one brother and sister-law.
Now you have us...come join in and let us know how we can help you.
The door is always open!

Welcome aboard and May God Bless You!
Barbara

MAXMAR1's Photo MAXMAR1 SparkPoints: (2,982)
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8/2/11 5:22 P

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Hi my name is Maxine and I take care of my 90 year old mom. She lives in my home with me. My mom is blind and has dementia Last year she had surgery on both of her legs. She had artificial vein put in both legs. She never recovered well. She doesn't walk without assistance. My mother was a very independent person up until she lost her sight about 10 years ago. She can be a handful. When she wants something she wants it now. She has become so childlike.

I am the only girl of a family 4. I sometimes feel like being the only girl is more of a punishment than a privilege (a privilege is what it felt like when I was a girl growing up). My brothers are not much help with my mom's care. My ex-husband sister watches her while I'm at work. She has truly been a blessing. She is there Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays all day and Tuesday and Thursdays from noon until I get home. I do have one brother that works nights and he comes two days a week to relieve my sister in law. (She goes to dialysis on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.) I however get no breaks at all. Oh yeah I do, I go to work, and to the gym.

I have spent most of my adult life taking care of my parents. Its not that I complaining, because I feel like I doing what God wants me to do. I helped my mom take care of my dad until his death, and now here I am with her. I spend a lot of day crying because of my 2 of my brothers have turned against me and fight me on everything. They don't help me at all. I'm so tired that I could just die.

I do get to the gym 3 days a week, but I have to get up at 5 in the morning after finally getting to bed most nights after 12. I do get up and go to the gym, which has become my refuge. I hate to excise but I need to do it, so I do my best.

Well that my story and I pray that you guy can help keep me encouraged.

Blessing to you all
Maxine


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BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,049)
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8/1/11 5:53 P

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emoticon Linda! We are so happy that you have joined our
wonderful, supportive team. All members on this team are struggling
with issues of some kind. You will find that you will love the members
who are all kind, loving and supportive. I hope that you come back
often to post, so that we will get to know you much better.

emoticon on your half Marathon! emoticon !

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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8/1/11 12:52 P

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emoticon Linda!
You go Girl .. A Half Marathon! emoticon emoticon You make the rest of us sound like couch potatoes! emoticon It is all I can do to walk a few miles a day! run...forget it on these old legs! emoticon

It sounds like you have had a very fulfilling job my friend. Also sounds like you have had a very supportive job environment. Not many people are so lucky.

You are so right about God preparing us for our journey. God will lead us in the direction we are to take and lead us safely through if we only listen and obey. God is Good to us and if we stay strong and believe He will deliver us through.

I hope you will enjoy this team my friend. Please join in on the threads and I know you will love everyone here, they are all loving,supportive and we will all be praying for you.

Once again Welcome and May God Bless You!
Barbara

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7/31/11 9:06 P

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My name is Linda and I came to Sparkpeople as a 'fit-fat' person in 2008. Spark gave me the tools to finally lose the weight, and gave me a wonerful network of caring friends as well. IIt alson gave me a passion fro running, and I completed a half marathon in September of 2010.

Liittle did I know, this entire journey (I think) was God preparing me for what was to come. I don't know how I could have survived this year so far without everything I learned from my Spark journey and half marathon training. Not to mention the support of my wonderful spark friends.

I was working full time as an accountant for my child support enforcement office until my husband's diagnosis. I had saved a lot of leave over my 20 year career, and during the first 4 months of this year I took time off when I needed to and worked when I could. In May, I took more time off, in June...even more time off. In July I worked a grand total of 3 hours. I can't imagine that August will allow me to work any more than that, probably none! I'm now out of leave and relying on the generosity of my friends at work to donate leave to me through our state's leave sharing program (I'm a Virginia government employee).

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers


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GRAMMACATHY's Photo GRAMMACATHY Posts: 19,271
7/20/11 3:10 A

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You do too! Also I retired, and Chris is still trying to work. I frankly don't know how she does it.



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BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,049)
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7/19/11 11:24 P

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emoticon Chris & Cathy! We are so glad to have you join with
our wonderful, loving team. I know all of us will be here, like a family
supporting each other and encouraging each other.

I found by reading both your posts, that not only are you Caretakers,
but you both have physical problems of your own. That makes it so
much harder to cope, and still be able to take good care of your loved one.
My love and prayers for both of you.


"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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GRAMMACATHY's Photo GRAMMACATHY Posts: 19,271
7/19/11 1:18 P

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Thank you both!
emoticon



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LINDAF49's Photo LINDAF49 SparkPoints: (58,532)
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7/18/11 11:21 P

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Chris and Kathy - welcome - you are familiar faces to me too - have added you to my prayer list and look forward to learning more about you through the love and support of these precious teams. God bless!

Linda F in WA state
*John 10:10b Jesus came to give me life,
an abundant life!


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7/17/11 11:25 P

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Chris and Cathy!

I understand how both of you feel. When I started this team I was under so much stress being a caretaker and seeing so many of my close dear friends under the came pain..and no where on here to turn.

I have been a caretaker all my life it seems..starting with my dad when I was 14.

I am so glad both of you are here...it takes all of us to make a team a success and I believe we have the right ingredients here to make it....

Please make yourselves at home...and like I tell everyone...Never hesitate to contact me if you need anything....I am here for you! You never have to walk this path alone again!

I Love You Both!
Barbara

GRAMMACATHY's Photo GRAMMACATHY Posts: 19,271
7/17/11 3:44 P

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So many of my friends are here. I feel like I stumbled onto a family reunion.

I retired from early intervention special ed this year due to my own health problems. Even when someone else is doing the physical caretaking it is emotionally draining to be making all the decisions, running all the errands, coping with the finances of loved ones. I am glad I have a nurturing gene. In addition to losing three parents over a twelve year span, I worked with grieving parents with children with disabilities for 20 years and my own husband has been disabled for over 15 years. It was bound to happen that my body would give up.

However, I think I am coping with the CFS and BPPV (fatigue and vertigo) due to a tick infection of some kind.

Funny thing is that now I have lost my health insurance, I am working harder to take better care of myself. We are as financially well off now as we were when I was working. Of course I have no savings anymore, but luckily retirement came as savings were depleted. The house is about as clean as it was when I was working 10-12 hour days because I function at about 50%. But I have cleared a lot of junk out of my life and I am enjoying the extra time with grandkids, cooking, gardening and knitting. Writing is my newest and most current passion. I can do that on my worst days. The good news is that I am having more 70% days with quicker recoupment time.

Hubby and I are looking to downsize our property and move closer to his kids. I think that would help him cope with his health issues easier. Luckily he is still mobile, but spends most of his day in bed. The only thing that gets him up is the dogs. Thank goodness they are pushy.



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CTUPTON's Photo CTUPTON SparkPoints: (116,764)
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7/17/11 1:11 P

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Hello all you wonderful people! I was a member of the team "Any Caregivers Out there." It has become inactive. Then, I joined the other caregiver team. And I have joined a zillion other teams since then. People on Sparkteams are my support system! Without you, I'd be lost.

Caregiving at best is a 24 hour responsibility and is usually borne by one member of a family. No family lives close to us. So I am "it." My husband had a severe stroke in 2006 and our lives changed drastically, of course. I am still teaching full time and hire aides 6 days a week to get him up and ready for the day and for putting him to bed at night. Now I am on summer vacation and I have cut down on aides to save some money.

I really, really need to lose this weight so I have more energy. Recently I had to start blood pressure medicine and it makes me sleepy. That is the first med I want off of! And my blood sugar lately has often been 100 so I need to remedy that, too. Of course my knees are painful and actually I have fibromyalgia so I take (8 hr.)Tylenol 3 times a day for that. I amworried about my liver. My daughter (29) has FM, too--darn! She was diagnosed first while she was in high school. So, she has her own physical problems. Besides, she lives 3 hours away. emoticon

I teach science in a school for the deaf. It is very fulfilling--because I am always learning new techniques as the education field keeps changing--sort of. Well, they teach us new things but don't give us the support to actually implement the things they teach us.
Very frustrating! I plan to retire next year June. 1969 till now is enough! I will have
93% SS by next June so we can live on that.

My big wish is to have my body not hurt and to have more energy. I spent 8 years about 3 times a week going to Alanon years ago. That is where I learned to cope with life. Alas, my Catholic upbringing was focused on the hereafter and I feel it did not give me the skills to manage on Earth. I pray daily for us and for the many people I know. I am sure daily I have miracles in my life. The only thing it has not solved is finding my cell phone! Just kidding.

Thank you all for being here! I could not do this without you! emoticon Chris

GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight. HOW? By not eating added sugar, using Omega3s, base meals on veggies, water aerobics at least 3X week and using NuStep when I can't get to the pool.

CAREGIVER HELP SEE THE LINK PLEASE www.agingcare.com/

30 lbs. gone. Now to work on the next 10 lbs.


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6/20/11 8:47 P

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You have come to the right place my friend! You are so right about support groups. They are so far and few in between. We will listen when you need to vent, we will laugh with you when it applies, and we will cry with you when you cry. Most important we will pray with you my friend.
There is no such thing as complaining, you are over stressed, hopefully my friend we can help you learn how to relieve some of that stress.
So many here are going through the same thing as you. Please join in with us in the chat room. Tell us your daily struggles. Post in the Vent room. Let it all out. Plus if you need any extra help please let me know my friend. I am always here for you,
You and your Dad are already on my prayer list my friend.
welcome to the team..and Welcome Home my friend.
emoticon Barbara

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6/20/11 11:49 A

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Hi, I hope I find what I am looking for here! And sometimes I don't know what that is! A lot of times I get suggestions from friends and family, they don't really understand. So when I tell them, well, I can't do THAT! I think they want to tell me- well quit complaining then! There is not a support group in my area for caregivers for aging parents. The closest one is 45 mi. away.

I am 59 and live next door to my 88 year old father, who has forgetfulness. He eats 2 meals a day at my house. Physically is doing very well. It is mentally where the deterioration is.
This is my introduction!

Actions speak louder than words.


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6/14/11 8:13 P

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Dear Snoopy, I welcome you with open arms of love, courage and caring. I pray you will draw strength from the wonderful members of this group and in time will also teach and encourage us through your sharing. Please check your Spark page for goodies and I will just mention to click of "See all goodies" so you can access the notes that come with many of the goodies. I was on spark People for months before I discovered that there were notes!! I often go back and re-read them when I need love and uplifting. You are loved and prayed for and I look forward to getting to know you more. Linda 49 from Washington

Linda F in WA state
*John 10:10b Jesus came to give me life,
an abundant life!


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I have just spent some time updating my prayer list for each of you - Big hugs and I am amazed at the strength that each of you shows in your own situations - I am encouraged and learn daily from you!

Linda F in WA state
*John 10:10b Jesus came to give me life,
an abundant life!


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6/13/11 10:42 A

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Hi my Friend,
We are here to help you through these times. To let you know, you have a choice and a voice here!
Stress is a very hard factor in caretaking,but together we can find ways to ease the daily pressures and learn how to deal with our lifestyle,

Welcome to the team my friend!
Barbara

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6/11/11 9:03 P

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I am a 50 year old stressed out Mom of 3 beautiful girls. My life has been turned upside down after my DH had a stroke in 2009.

I don't complain about being a caretaker but it is so hard.

emoticon

I miss my old life.


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5/7/11 12:50 A

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Welcome Julie we are so glad to have you here with us. I know you will enjoy the whole team. We laugh,cry and pray together. What a lovely family you have, I know you are proud of all of them. Children are such a blessing in our lives.
Make sure you come and share your daily ups and downs with us. We are always here.

Have a great day and once again Welcome Home my friend!
Barbara

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5/5/11 6:16 P

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Hi, I'm Julie. I'll be turning 50 in August. I'm married and have 2 daughters and a son, ages 31, 29 and 12. Only my 12 year old daughter is at home. I also have a 9 yr old grandson.
I was doing pretty good losing weight until around Christmas. Since then I have gotten so far of track. Now I'm gaining weight back.

Glad I found this team. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone.

Julie (Ontario,Canada)
-----------------------
Dum spiro, spero, "While I breath, I hope".
Latin Proverb
-----------------------
Lord
Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I together can't handle.
----------------------------


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Well...Bernice now I know why you sound so happy! With a support group like that you have to be glowing!
I too have a loving family and I thank God everyday for giving me such a great family.
All those amazing grands and greats! WOOHOO now I love children. I have 13 grandchildren. I volunteer at the local school here...I would bundle them all up and bring them home if I could!

You are so blessed my friend!
Thank God ...
Barbara

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Nice to meet you hugs

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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5/1/11 6:00 P

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A little about myself Name Bernice Married 55 years in Nov to a wonderful man Maynard
We have five children nine grands and three great grands
Live in Minneapolis MN across the street from our middle child a son and his partner
Our oldest son John lives in New Mexico comes home twice a year
Our oldest daughter Annette lives in a small town north of us two hours away had a bout with menengitis five years ago and continues to regain her memory and strength
Then comes the middle son Michael who is a big support system for us they found us a home and remodeled it and we moved three years ago we are so grateful to them
Second daughter Sandra lives two hours north of us and also a big support they also have three grands and they are so good with their grandfather and of course me too we have our travel trailer at their property on a lake and enjoy our summers there
Youngest daughter Paula lives six hours south of us in Wisconsin and is my rock she helps us with everything and am so grateful
All of our childrens spouses are so good to us too
Enjoy life one day at a time
Now will go on to tell you about my DH

Edited by: MAYBER at: 5/1/2011 (18:15)
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4/11/11 10:53 A

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emoticon emoticon A great big Welcome to you Linda and all my prayers go to you and the Family you are now going to my friend.
These are gentle times. We know the Lord is close by, this is what gives us the strength and courage to complete the task set before us.

We are honored to have you on board with us, please join us as often as you can.The release is also good for you.

Take care and may God Bless,
Barbara

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4/10/11 11:38 P

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I recently saw this team and wrote a separate letter to Barbara saying ""I wanted to know if I might please join your group at read, pray and maybe eventually become active...I am easily overwhelmed and so do not want to commit to active participation now I have decided that YES! I want to join and begin getting to know you and praying. greetings to you from the Canadian border of central Washington state God richly bless your week.

Edited by: LINDAF49 at: 5/3/2011 (22:58)
Linda F in WA state
*John 10:10b Jesus came to give me life,
an abundant life!


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4/7/11 1:52 P

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We all have so much to give to this team. Just like Sunrise said..so many does not know what it is like until you walk these miles!
We are all on this journey together and together we make a very strong force.

Here we can openly let our voices be heard.

I Love You My Friends,
emoticon Barbara

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4/5/11 10:39 P
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Hugs

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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SUNRISE14's Photo SUNRISE14 Posts: 5,216
4/5/11 6:31 P

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Barbara just wanted to thank you for this team. It does help to be able to talk about what we are going thru because i think all of us would die for our love ones if that would help but we must take i one day at a time and be there for them the best we can. We have to have an outlet to make us happy before we can be there for others and this site has been my pressure valve so to speak ! We can't talk to our love ones for fear of hurting their feelings and making them feel they are a burden and alot of the family that doesn't deal with the situation daily 24/7 don't understand why we feel the way we do . As the old saying goes you can't judge a man till you have walked a mile in his moccosins and that's impossible! Thank you all for your prayers and support ! emoticon

The Lord is my strength and i know i can do better with the Lords help. The Lord laid it on my heart to start a team called GOD ANSWERS PRAYER AND I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ANYBODY THAT WANTS HELP TO LOSE THEIR WEIGHT TO JOIN . I KNOW I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT THE LORDS HELP !


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1COUNTRY_GAL's Photo 1COUNTRY_GAL SparkPoints: (42,528)
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4/5/11 4:41 P

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What a emoticon Barbara,I was so moved by what you said to Steve emoticon Hallelujah.Your words have so much meaning for all of us to read and give thought too! emoticon

Edited by: 1COUNTRY_GAL at: 4/5/2011 (16:41)
-:¦:- ♥ •*´Diana¨`*• ♥ -:¦:- ♥`*• ♥ ¦:- •*´¨`*• ♥ :¦:- ♥
"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change
the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference."

Teams Proud 2 Lead:
Journey To A New You!!
teams.sparkpeople.com/JTANY

Co Lead:
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4/5/11 4:23 P

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Steve; I don't really see any negative thoughts here, I see a man trying to cope with a life's situation and do the best he can.
If someone gives you a blank sheet of paper and then a hand full of rocks and walks away; later to come back and ask..why you have not completed your task? What would you say?

This is a question I was asked once, when I was a little down on myself about my situation. I had to really think about this one. I stupidly said What task?

Then he said, I gave you the paper and the rocks to build a city. why did you not finish?

And again I said but the paper was blank!

This man that was telling me this was my brother-in-law that was a Baptist minister. It really didn't take him long to let me know that God gives us so many chances to fulfill our lives along our journey. God doesn't always give us the blueprints already made out, like when you have a newborn child, you don't get papers showing you how to raise this child or how to provide for them. Now the time has turned, God doesn't give us as children the papers, or blueprints to show us how to take care of our parents!

God has given us the foundation, the love,the power of prayer, communication. God has given us the blank sheet of paper for us to make our own blueprint, a chance for us to do this right!

Together, as a team we can learn to share our ups and downs and we can do this right.

As for your weight, we can help you with this also my friend. But first let's get through the one day at a time.

Please use our Vent thread also...it really does help! I know i use it!

Have a great day and Welcome Home!

Barbara
Your Team Leader


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4/4/11 5:36 P
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and God bless you too Steve hugs as you see you are not alone Hugs

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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4/4/11 5:14 P

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God bless you Dee.

Steve


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Steve this happens to most of us and I am trying to get back on track , esp with er visits with mom and hospital and getting home late and eatting late got to me again .. its hard when we try to take care of them .. My mother feels she is the mother and I have to listen to her and do what she wants me to do .. I get several phone calls a day I live around the corner and there every morning and walk back a few times later in the day .. she told me she will lock the door and then I will change the lock and you wont have the key..I have try talking to her but she refuses to listen since her heart attack in Nov I told her I need to go to the doctors with you .. she fights me every way she can and tells my siblings she is fine and there is nothing wrong with her and I lie.. she is on copd medicine, asthma , the list goes on and my brother said So I guess you dont need medicine any more no I take 36 pills, 2 inhalers and nebulizer ... but I am fine

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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1COUNTRY_GAL's Photo 1COUNTRY_GAL SparkPoints: (42,528)
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4/4/11 1:38 P

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emoticon Steve, emoticon emoticon So sorry about your dad.You are an emoticon son for supporting your mom,I admire you for this and I can relate with the weight and eating disorder,I am just back down to where I am on my my weight ticker on my page,I had gained so much fluid from CHF and me eating at night.I am having a difficult time breaking this cycle of night time eating.I wish you the best in your journey's! emoticon Diana:)

-:¦:- ♥ •*´Diana¨`*• ♥ -:¦:- ♥`*• ♥ ¦:- •*´¨`*• ♥ :¦:- ♥
"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change
the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference."

Teams Proud 2 Lead:
Journey To A New You!!
teams.sparkpeople.com/JTANY

Co Lead:
Natural Health Using Herbs,Supp.and Vitamins
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=37110


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STEVO5O's Photo STEVO5O Posts: 3,125
4/4/11 10:27 A

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Hello, my name is Steve. I'm 54 years old and I have been the primary caregiver for both of my elderly ill parents since 1997. I just buried my dad 8 weeks ago today. He had dementia and cancer. It's now just my mom and me. She's 77 and is suffering from severe rheumatoid arthritis. I basically carry her around although she still uses a walker at times and she has a wheelchair.

We are both having a very difficult time dealing with dad not being here. This past Saturday would've been their 56th wedding anniversary...needless to say it was a very difficult day. My mom is depressed and withdrawn a lot...not all the time, but a lot. It depresses me and it has had a horrible effect on my weight. If you look at my page you'll see a guy I want to get back to. I'm about 80 pounds heavier than that. I retired last March to be here full time and it's been the single toughest year of my life.

I'm currently seeing a psychologist for my weight problems and eating disorder...along with the caregiver and grieving issues. I miss my dad terribly and I know it's not a fraction of how much my mom misses him.

We are devout Christians and we know dad is in glory right now...but that doesn't make this any easier. I was told about this team by another sparkfriend and thought I'd come over and check it out. It's always nice to know other people are going through the same thing and can understand...really understand.

I don't know how this will work out here but I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm very down right now and ashamed of my self for putting some of my weight back on. Forgive me for being negative at times. I need to be more positive and show more faith...it's just very hard to do right now.

Thanks for listening.

Steve


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hello and welcome to the team Vickie

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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4/1/11 3:20 P

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HI, Vickie and Welcome to the team.
Yes the Lord has been very good to so many of us in so many ways. Your testimony goes to show God has control of our lives, not doctors.
So many times we hear these words that doctors "give" us so long to live. WELL, God gives us our Lives to Live and the Time here on this Earth is in His hands.
You are so right my friend...Every day is a blessing and having a positive attitude like yours makes life even better.
God Bless you and Welcome!

Barbara

SUNRISE14's Photo SUNRISE14 Posts: 5,216
4/1/11 7:49 A

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Hi ! I am Vickie ! I love the Lord and have a team on the Sparksite called GOD ANSWERS PRAYER ! I have a heart condition that has left me at 60 years old living a seditary life style because all my arteries are over 80% blocked so the blood works so hard to get thru the arteries at 5 years old they quit growing and have aged thru the years quickly but 3 doctors at university told me at age 22 i should have died at the age of 15 so Gods been extra good to me. My husband of 39 years in May is 75 and has lots of health issues along with my step-daughter with complicated migrains and i try to help her so she can continue to live in her home but i am not complaining i am thankful i can make their lives alittle better each day by being there for them. My issue is i need something to do to pass my time because i can't do much and DH is usually outside when the weather is fit . Any suggestions are welcome. I want to do something with my hours that will help and bring happiness to children exspecially. I couldnot adopt or have a child due to my condition . I will not give up ! I will do whatever it takes to be healtier and happier ! I refuse to die before my time and will leave this world with a testimony of the peace and joy Jesus gave me 38 years ago when i gave my life to him. At that time i didn't want to live and couldn't cope with life had no desire to be happy but today everyday is a blessing i love life ! Well thats what makes me tick ! emoticon

The Lord is my strength and i know i can do better with the Lords help. The Lord laid it on my heart to start a team called GOD ANSWERS PRAYER AND I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ANYBODY THAT WANTS HELP TO LOSE THEIR WEIGHT TO JOIN . I KNOW I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT THE LORDS HELP !


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3/31/11 9:31 A

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Diana,as with yourself, just about every caretaker has health issues. This is why I keep pressing the fact that everyone should concentrate on your goals.

We as,Mothers,daughters,wives,son's,husbund's
,Father's, what ever the case may be have found ourselves in a rare situation and so quickly we put ourselves last on the caring list.

To be able to properly care for the ones we love we must, take care of ourselves first.

This means,getting the right amount of sleep,eating the right food,getting the right amount of exercise,taking care of health issues that you have that may arise.

If you bring yourself down,then what happens to your loved one?

Make a daily plan, hey...believe me..if I can do it...anyone can!

Have a health day....

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thank you Diana for you words , they mean a lot to me .. Yes I am disable but when you have a stubborn mother who needs you , you do what you need to do .. getting mom out with me and knit with the girls is for her to make friends and be with people she needs it but mom would rather stay in the house and hide away

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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3/30/11 1:10 P

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Hello,I am Diana and I am a 50 year old mom of 3, 2 daughters,the oldest is 20 and Justine is 14 and a son who is 12.I have Congestive Heart Failure and a leaky mitral valve and live out on 2.5 acres and have numerous pets and chickens and have raised bed gardens and grow blackberries and fruit trees and vegetables. emoticon emoticon

I agree with you Barbara,Dee,you are an inspiration and so caring and giving unselfishly to others,I wonder how you have time for YOUrself? I had no idea you have any health problems and I admire you.I have never heard you even mention this slowing you down.Time for YOUrself Dee,you deserve it. emoticon Diana:)

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And the Wisdom to know the difference."

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3/29/11 7:57 P

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You are such an inspiration to all of us,Dee. You have never let your disability or injuries slow you down. You always put the needs of others first. But my friend now is the time, to start thinking about Dee. You know face the challenge of caring for your parents.
So with this comes the responsibility of taking care of yourself too. It is now time to slow down my friend.

So glad you are here with us!
Barbara

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3/29/11 2:19 P
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Hello I am Dee and I am from southern New Jersey and disable have spine injuries to my back and hips

DEE Southern New Jersey
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3/29/11 8:48 A

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Welcome to the team Barb...I am so glad you have joined us. I will give you a call later today!

Have a great day!
Barbara

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3/29/11 12:34 A

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My name is Barbara, please call me Barb, so as not to
confuse me with the Leader, whose name is Barbara.
I live in Kentucky. I am the mom of 2 beautiful, wonderful
daughters. The grandmother of 5 grandsons and 2
grand daughters, and great grandmother of a 18 mo.
old beautiful baby boy. I am married to a wonderful,
sweet man, who is originally from Georgia. We will
be married 15 wonderful years next month.

My stepdad passed away Oct. 2007. My Mom was
the age of 88 at the time. She had already began to
have problems walking and falling.

I had to take over all business transactions for her.
She agreed to move out of her home, into senior housing
that is closer to me. I was so happy that she was
agreeable to do this. She loves her apartment that
has a balcony that overlooks the town.

I am her only caretaker. I do everything that is needed
for her. She suffers lots with inner ear infections and
that causes her to fall and also suffers with mini strokes.
They sometimes come close together and each one
seems to become worse. She has a walker with wheels
and it has a seat, should she tire and needs to sat down.
I am thankful that she is able to go down on the elevator
to pickup her mail, whenever she chooses.


Edited by: BRAVEONE92 at: 8/1/2011 (17:42)
"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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3/28/11 10:40 P

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Welcome to the team SharMae! We are so glad to have you here with us! Always know we are always here to support and listen my friend. We all have times when a friend is the best medicine there is around.

Welcome home my friend.

Barbara emoticon

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I my name is SharMae, I live in WNY. Although I could be a grandmother, I have a daughter who will soon be 10 years old. In October I retired from my job for about 2 months, when started caring for two young children four days a week.



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I try to stay active. I have an 8 year old grandson that lives with us. Not only do I care for mi MIL but we live on 180 acer farm, grow our fruits and vegetables for year round use. My DH drives a truck over the road so he is gone a large amount of the time.

I have 13 grandchildren total. The Lord has blessed me in so many ways. Lots more to come!

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3/25/11 8:54 A

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My name is Barbara and I am from South Georgia! I am looking forward to meeting and sending our prayers,support and motivation to all who are in need. Here's to a great start! emoticon

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