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ALIIDA's Photo ALIIDA SparkPoints: (20,481)
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4/9/14 4:53 P

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Hi everyone,

I'm a caregiver to my husband.

Edited by: ALIIDA at: 4/9/2014 (22:36)
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FORCONNOR23's Photo FORCONNOR23 SparkPoints: (1,958)
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11/10/13 12:57 P

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Hi everyone! I am a 42-year old mom of an 8-year old with quadriplegic cerebral palsy. He uses a wheelchair and is fully dependent on care for his needs. He is such a joy in our lives and we can't imagine our lives without him. But I need motivation and support in committing to being healthy and strong to be able to give him the best care I can - instead of turning to unhealthy habits to alleviate my stress and exhaustion. Looking forward to this journey here!

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. �Babe Ruth


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ENNAID11's Photo ENNAID11 SparkPoints: (8,153)
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7/27/13 11:14 A

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Hi Jean - welcome. My son has frontal lobe seizures and has autism and my daughter has mild schizophrenia. I also took care of my dh for 17 years until his death in June 2012. So I understand where you are coming from. My thoughts are with you. I understand how difficult it is to think of yourself when taking care of others but it is important for you health to put yourself first some of the time. You are also important.

Take care

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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JEANUT's Photo JEANUT SparkPoints: (83,923)
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7/26/13 3:34 P

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Hi my name is Jean, I'm the caregiver to my husband who has frontal lobe seizures and mild schizophrenia. I'm also a partial caregiver to his 86 yr old mother who had heart bypass surgery and a heart attack last year. I'm happy to say she is getting better.
I have a bad habit of putting myself last or off and it's now telling on me. I'm pre-diabetic with arthritis and need to loose 100 lbs.
I was so happy to find this group because sometimes I do need to talk and it's hard to find someone who understands what it is like having to care for others.

Jeanut in Ga
eastern time zone


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STITCHINGNAN's Photo STITCHINGNAN Posts: 10,315
5/31/13 2:21 A

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Hi team .after reading your mails I feel I am very fortunate . My husband was diagnosed with Alzeimers a few months ago. He is not bad yet. Forgetful of course and a bit confused but we have many good conversations and we can still do things . It can change I know and no one knows what paths it will follow or when. . But I still feel I need guidance,tolerance and patience too!
I try to look after my own health and keep up my own interests and friendships while I can . Irene

Irene in Nottinghamshire UK
SBECKER526's Photo SBECKER526 Posts: 1,459
2/14/13 3:45 P

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I began as a caregiver at age 19 when my father had a ruptured aorta and stroke. He lived for 30 more years. When I was 48, my mother became ill and placed in a nursing home. The final 6 months of her life, I was her partner in hospice. In 2006, I became a parish visitor, do home communions. and hospital visitations for my church. I work with families as they handle caregiving and stress as well as the patient.

I now give my husband peritoneal dialysis every evening. He has multiple health issues. So only 19 years of my life have been free from caregiving.

I am on my way to better health!


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SAREINI's Photo SAREINI SparkPoints: (671)
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2/8/13 3:33 A

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Hi all,

I'm Kat and I'm a carer for my partner, who has chronic degenerating back and knee problems that leave him barely able to walk or even stand up unaided on some days, as well as severe mental illness. I have to dedicate most of my time to looking after him, which is both physically and mentally exhausting, obviously - and it's only made worse by my current weight issues. I'm slowly working to improve his diet as I improve my own though, and I at least can unwind with our two cats, who try to help as much as cats can.

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ENNAID11's Photo ENNAID11 SparkPoints: (8,153)
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1/25/13 8:45 A

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Hi ReRe - glad to have you back.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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REREBIGMAMA's Photo REREBIGMAMA Posts: 868
1/25/13 4:07 A

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Hello Everyone...

I'm not new to this team, but have been away for quite awhile. Well.... I'm back.... again...LOL I just refuse to give up! I haven't been able to get enough consistency to lose a great amount of weight here. I have lost 22 lbs. since finding SP, but that was back in 2007. Some of us need more time to get "it", I guess. Anyway, I have high hopes this time. I'm still trying to fit myself into my life of caring for others, but I believe this is going to be the year it all clicks. I've missed everyone and all the support I've received here in the past. And, I'm looking forward to reconnecting with everyone. I'm, also, looking forward to making new friends and getting to know all of you.

ReRe

They call me ReRe.....

The only way you fail.....
Is if you quit!

Life is too short not to be happy and have a good time!!



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ENNAID11's Photo ENNAID11 SparkPoints: (8,153)
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9/12/12 5:37 P

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Welcome to the group Kathie.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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REDGALE's Photo REDGALE SparkPoints: (12,862)
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9/12/12 11:45 A

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I'm trying to compose a brief reason why I'm with this team, but it just gets longer and longer. My caregiving concerns aren't with one or even two people, but many: daughters that have trouble coping with their children, grandchildren (11) who need special attention, 4 elderly parents in various stages of need. They all are nearby, and I'm a primary contact for most of them. My own energy levels fluctuate and I occasionally get overwhelmed, at which point the arthritis takes over. Thanks for a venting place, and a place to come and share stories. I've already received strength and encouragement from reading the posts.
Blessings to you all in your own struggles. I'll be sending healing, happy thoughts and prayers your way.
Kathie

Happiness comes not from doing what one likes to do, but from liking what one has to do.


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8/8/12 9:28 P

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My dh had dementia since 2002 from a major stroke. He lost most of his short term memory. It made cooking an impossible task as he would start something, leave it on the stove and promptly forget about until the smoke detector went off. This happened even if he was still in the kitchen. He had to be reminded of everything, when to take a bath,change his clothes, what day it was, etc. It made it extremely difficult to have conversations with as he would forget what we were talking about mid-way through a discusion. It made life extremely difficult. I became a caregiver as opposed to a wife. He was also unable to take care of any finances. He found everything so expenses as he could only remember prices from 10 - 15 years ago. It sounds like you mother is going to require more supervised care If possible do try to get help. This job is extremely tiring. Take care of yourself also (the most important thing) as you cannot care for your mom if you are not taking care of you.

Good luck, and welcome to the team

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (205,330)
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8/8/12 1:19 P

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My name is Nell and I just found this team. My mother is sinking fast into dementia, and I am the closest child. She lives in a continuing care facility, which is wonderful, but her fantasies (hallucinations?) are making it hard for me. I can't tell if she is eating properly because she drinks so much wine, the most important part of her life. She has let me take over her finances, but insists on "checking up" on me. I worry about her cooking in the evening. She can't read and follow directions on a box, and she doesn't clean up well. The decline in just the last 6 months is shocking.

My husband had two strokes last year, and that was easier to handle because at least he understood what was going on, even if he didn't like it. With Mom, I always feel like the bad guy.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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PATYMUFFIN's Photo PATYMUFFIN Posts: 11
7/29/12 6:28 A

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hi michele- My name is karen and I too am a retired RN. We seem to have alot in common as I am caregiver for my husband who became paraplegic four years ago and was forced to retire. We to are on a fixed income, just ssd and his retirement. I am only 59 and would like to work but it is impossible due for caring for him.He is only allowed out of bed for 2 hours per day so it's difficult to get out to run errands. Fortunately my two adult children live with us and they will stay with him sometime(when they are not working) so I can get out. Are you able to get out occasionaly and leave your husband alone? One thing I can offer as a suggestion is something that has worked for me to reduce stress alot. Try getting up earlier than hubby and take 1 hour to do something you enjoy. I love to read so 1 cup of coffee and a good book make me happy. Even if Pat is awake he knows not to bother me during this time. write back and maybe we can support each other. Let me know if there's anything I can do.Do you have any pets? we have 8 cats. I also love organic gardenig raised bed, painting. What do you enjoy doing? Are you still working? Hope to hear from you soon. Take care and keep on trucking.

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PATYMUFFIN's Photo PATYMUFFIN Posts: 11
7/28/12 7:28 A

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I'm a newbie to the group.live in Seminole Florida.caring for husband of 40 years who became paraplegic 4 years ago. love cats we have 8. i am especially frustrated and feel angry and resentful alot. since hubby is only allowed out of bed for 2 hours per day, I'm pretty much stuck at home unless one of my adult children can stay with him to give me a break. i have cabin fever and am very social so need to connect with others. Anyone else live near this area? Just joined spark people 2 weeks ago and love it. 4 lbs down already.

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ANNEMARIEHOYT SparkPoints: (1,004)
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6/19/12 10:56 A

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Good Morning all. I don't know if being a professional caregiver counts on here or not but....I work in a small assisted living home for about 6 people. They have varying stages of dementia/Alzheimer's. I'm also married to a wonderful man for almost 21 years and we will soon be emptynesters and I'm only 40. Lol. My issues are the physical/ verbal abuse one takes and the "letting go" of them. When the day is good it's great when bad it's very bad.Which is par for the course though. Hoping to learn new methods and stress relief. Iknow some are saying well look for another job. I can't. I love my job and what I do. My clients aren't a number or a bed. They're people. Someone's mom or dad husband or wife. It just gets frustrating trying to help when you're not sure what time zone they're in. But I stay for the times when they look at you in a moment of clarity and say "thank you dear".
Anne

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COPEMA's Photo COPEMA SparkPoints: (64,876)
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5/6/12 9:15 P

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Hi! My name is Marsha and my mother lives with my husband and me. She had a bad stroke in 2005 (she lived alone then) and laid on her living room floor for a few hours before a neighbor came over to check on her and looked through the curtains she usually had drawn closed by this time, and saw her lying on the floor and called 911. After she was released from the hospital, we moved her down to a rehab center in the town where we live close to Cincinnati. After about 3 months of rehab, she came to live with us. She also has vascular dementia, probably as a result of the bleeding in her brain. And she has diabetes and congestive heart failure. She's 87, sometimes cranky, but she still has her sense of humor and can laugh a lot! Two days a week she goes to an Adult Day Care Center which has been good for her and it gives me a chance to run errands, have dr. appointments, etc. It's been a Godsend.
I'm on a couple of Web Sites -- Aging.com and Caring.com and joined a couple of similar teams on SparkPeople because I believe sharing ideas and commiserating is a big help. Feel free to email me or comment on my SparkPage or befriend me. We can all use more friends!
Marsha

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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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1/29/12 7:16 P

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welcome, TundraLodger1
1

what is this 'dragging you here' stuff???? :)


I definately understand the havoc winter weather can reak(sp) on our poor caree's backy and bodies.... my husband hasn't been able to go to church since mid December because of it. and I know all too well the havoc it can cause us caregivers, as well :(.


BLUESTARMOM-- yes, it is a small world!! Welived in Pocatello for 3.5 years before we moved here to Boise. And we still have family in Poc'y.

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
TUNDRALODGER's Photo TUNDRALODGER SparkPoints: (6,115)
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1/28/12 8:14 P

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RHALES thanks for dragging me here from another forum! Still getting my feet wet here, but so appreciative of all the support.

My DH is in a quiet phase with his leukemia, but the winter is really hard on his back and body pain. Like many of you, I let myself go while tending his issues and 'supervising'. Working nights makes me a magnet for weight gain and health problems, too. Lots of bad habits to change!

Looking forward to getting to know you all and being a supportive team member.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration.
(Evan Esar)

SP Class of Jan 15 - 21, 2012
Spine Injuries/General Back Pain
Caregivers Support
People With Food Allergies
OncStars Team Leader
BLUESTARMOM's Photo BLUESTARMOM Posts: 3,126
1/16/12 8:55 A

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Thanks. I see on you tagline that you belong to a lot of Idaho groups. I lived near Pocatello for 10 years, and my daughter and grand kids live in Jerome. Small world! I think that one of the best things that is coming out of this is that I'm forced to make Mike a little more independent. I've been pushing his wheelchair all over the place because it's been easier- now he's pushing himself. I think this will be better for both of us.

Karen
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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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1/14/12 7:16 P

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Welcome back to SP, bluestarmom!
We can do this!

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
BLUESTARMOM's Photo BLUESTARMOM Posts: 3,126
1/14/12 5:30 P

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Hello! Boy, am I ever glad to find this team! I belonged to SP a few years back, and managed to lose 80 pounds. Unfortunately, I've manged to find them again. I work full time teaching kindergarten and now come home to take care of my significant other, who went into sudden cardiac arrest a year ago October. I performed CPR on him, and the doctors beat the odds to save him, but it has been a year full of medical complications. He's now diabetic, an above the knee amputee, finally had a difibrillator implanted after 6 months with a life vest, has short term memory problems, and on and on. I put myself on the back burner to take care of him, and now I've come to realize that if I want to be able to continue taking care of him, I have to take care of myself first.

Karen
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RUMPLETZR's Photo RUMPLETZR Posts: 35
11/15/11 5:38 P

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Thank you all for your warm welcomes. Just reading what you have to say makes me realize how much I need this group. And how much worse everyone else is. I feel like crying because of all the kind words and support you have given me.
Thank you so much.
Trisha
emoticon

Who could look into those luminous eyes and believe there is no soul.
Theophile Gautier, on cats


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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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10/24/11 9:45 P

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RUMPLETZR- glad you joined our group! My husband was born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy. He cna't walk w/ o assistance & is legally blind. And has had back problems the last 4 years. I can relate to a LOT of what you're saying!!!! Come here anytime! :)

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
ENNAID2 SparkPoints: (9,588)
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10/24/11 7:30 P

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You should never feel angry because you want something for yourself. I have been taking care of my husband for 17 years and my handicapped son prior to that for 15 years. That makes 32 years of caregiving. You will find that your emotions will be all over the place on different days. It is OK to be selfish once in a while. Take time off, find someone to stay with your husband and go and do something special for yourself. Have you consider putting your husband in respite care for a couple of days or couple of weeks. I you can affort it, take a vacation and come back with your batteries recharged.

My husband has reach a point where I am looking to place him in long term care. His Alzheimer is getting worse every day, and he now has terminal lung cancer (he cannot get treatment). The specialist told us he would be more likely to die from the cure rather than the cancer. His cancer is stable at the moment.

And please do not be ashamed, most caregivers will feel like that sooner or later.

Take good care of yourself. I hope you have some sunshine in your future.

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RUMPLETZR's Photo RUMPLETZR Posts: 35
10/24/11 6:44 P

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Hi everyone, my name is Trisha. I am a caregiver to my husband of 19 years. He has type 1 diabetes, RA, osteoarthritis, and he hurt his back at work (and didn't tell them, thinking it was minor). I am bipolar, have GAD, Ptsd and type 2 diabetes.
I have become the driver of us, because he is on painkillers (vicodene). I need to loose weight to get control of my own diabetes.
We have no children, and that depresses me. We have seven cats instead. Sometimes I get angry that he can't help me with anything, and that I have to do everything for him. I am very ashamed of this.

Who could look into those luminous eyes and believe there is no soul.
Theophile Gautier, on cats


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10/23/11 3:10 P

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Hi HOMESCHOOLMEL

Welcome to the team. I am sorry for the hard time you are having at the moment. And while I am sure that you are a wonderful wife and mother, make sure you keep some space for you. Don't forget if you get sick, there will be no one to take care of your family. I wish you hope, peace and good luck during this journey

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HOMESCHOOLMEL's Photo HOMESCHOOLMEL Posts: 182
10/23/11 3:01 P

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Hi, I'm new here. My husband was severely disabled in a car accident in June. He has a traumatic brain injury and can not do anything for himself, as of yet. He was hospitalized for 116 days and came home 3 weeks ago. This has been a difficult adjustment, but we're managing. Sadly, we don't qualify for any state waiver programs, so any help I may need will have to be private pay. We do currently have therapy visits in-home which are covered by our insurance. I've managed to get through all of the paperwork - SSDI application, and Long-disability applications. I've certainly learned a lot in the past 4 months!

My name is Melanie and we have two children - a boy who is 13 and a girl, 10. They are homeschooled. We've managed to include school in our schedule and I'm certainly glad they're here. I can get DH in and out of his wheelchair by standing him up, turning, and sitting him down, but I can't do it without our son's help.

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10/22/11 2:07 P

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Hi, glad to welcome you on board. I also have been a caregiver for as long as I can remember. I have a 25 year old son with Autism. He was placed in care at the age of 15 because I could no longer care for him. My husband got sick 6 months later so it has been 34 years or so. Before becoming a caregiver I had a home day care centre (9 children), and before that I worked in a day care. My husband and I have been married 25 years and have known each other for 35 years. He is much older than I am. There is a 22 year age difference. I am 58 and he is 80. He never got to enjoy his retirement as he had to retire early because of cancer and all the other problems. It is sad because we never got to travel and enjoy life a little.

So I guess I qualify for the title of caregiver.

Now that my DH's Alzheimer is worse my psychiatrist told me enough is enough. You will have to place him or I will be the one getting sick. My bi-polar has not been stable since Fall of last year and he is afraid that I will have another breakdown.

Now there is a light at the end of the tunnel so that I can start thinking about myself. I am preparing myself by keeping in shape and getting to my optimum weight.

emoticon my emoticon . Keep in touch.

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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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10/5/11 11:22 P

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welcome aboard!

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (97,918)
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10/3/11 12:53 P

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Hi ! Glad to have you with us. Join us on the different Discussions and in the Chat area ( first thread in the Discussion Forum ) . All of the Team are only a click away. Don't be a stranger.

Michele - Northern Kentucky


Warriors In Pink~~Administrator
Classy Quitters~~ Administrator
Caregivers Support ~~ Administrator


" Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
~Ralpd Waldo Emerson



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HAPPY0408's Photo HAPPY0408 Posts: 3,040
10/3/11 12:31 P

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Hello Team! I am new to this team but not to sparkpeople. I have been a caregiver as long as I can remember. Started out taking care of my brother growing up to the point of feeling like I was his mother though both my parents have been around and are still around today, he just looked up to me growing up. I work in the medical field currently as a Health Unit Coordinator at a hospital but in the past have done CNA work in nursing homes, homecare, and hospital settings. And last but not least I am a caregiver to my sweet, caring husband who has Tuberous Sclerosis in which he has seizures and a learning disability so unable to drive and get social security each month. Life can be a struggle, but the way he treats me and loves me keeps me going and not wanting to give him up. We have been together for almost 4 years. We are not officially married because we do not want to risk losing his income and benefits, but we still consider ourselves a married couple.

I joined this team to get support from others who are in similar situations. I have adapted to this life though at times it gets difficult finding time for myself. I am working on it. It also helps now that I work day shift because then I get up before my husband. I am able to have my time in the morning before going to work and also getting my exercise in before work then when I get home from work I spend time with him. Been working on getting him to be more healthy and active also though it has been a struggle, he is getting better. Sometimes I am jealous that he has all the time in the world to do whatever he wants without working and yet get stressed because he has more time to take care of himself and yet lacks exercise and getting healthy, but he is improving on that.

Well thats all for now, but if you wanna know more feel free to contact me and ask. I would like to get to know others in similar situations and feedback on how others handle things.

emoticon
Sara

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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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8/25/11 12:10 A

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welcome, both of you!!!!!:)

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
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JGS31794's Photo JGS31794 SparkPoints: (682)
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8/24/11 7:35 P

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Hi everyone. I am from Tifton, Ga. Anyone else from down south near here? I hope to make alot of friends and get alot of support. I love the work but not the hours! No time to exercise!

Jennifer


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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (97,918)
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8/7/11 11:34 P

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Hi everyone ! I am new here as I need to be around people that are taking care of a loved.
As a retired registered nurse, I have many times taken care of other people's loved ones. Now the shoe is on the other foot. Support is what I need as my husband's family accepts him as he was ten years ago. So my girls ( from a previous marriage are my only support and they are each 100 miles away ( Ohio and Southern Kentucky ). We are right in the middle in Northern Kentucky.

With the surgeries he has had over the last 7 years his weight has gone from 180# down to between 140-145#. Because of a mini Stroke he had to retire five years ago at the age of 71.
He has no appetite, and when he does decide to eat, I find myself fixing two separate meals.

We are both on SSI plus our pensions, with the cost of medicines for he and I, rising cost of food and the uncertainity of the SSI checks--everything has just closed in on me this past week.

Now more than ever, I need the support of people who have or are walking in my shoes. Any or all suggestions or help is gladly needed.

Thanks for letting me blow, I really needed to........

Michele - Northern Kentucky


Warriors In Pink~~Administrator
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" Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
~Ralpd Waldo Emerson



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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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7/13/11 12:09 P

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Welcome!!

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
NINJALINDA's Photo NINJALINDA SparkPoints: (102,617)
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7/13/11 10:03 A

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Hi, my name is Linda, and I've been on Spark siince July of 2008. I'm 48, and have been a caregiver for my 55 year old husband since January 2011 when he was diagnosed with brain tumors. This diagnosis was a complete surprise - he went from completely healthy (just overweight was the only problem) to a stumbly, headachy, forgetful mess in abou two weeks time. I was working, taking liberal time off for doctor visits, etc, until about a month ago when his condition deteriorated to the point that I had to stop working (for the most part).

I'm glad I found this team. My spark friends are wonderful and supportive, but I'm finding that no one REALLY knows what this is like unless they have been there & done that.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers


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IDYLATOO SparkPoints: (3,994)
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7/5/11 8:57 P

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Hi! I'm 29 and I've been taking care of my mom since she had surgery to remove a malignant brain tumor in December 2009. She still has chemo once a month and certain deficits that result in her needing constant care. Its kind of frustrating because she really is doing so well, but the problems are just in certain areas (numbers, attention span, slight right side mobility issues) that require me to keep a closer eye on her.

I'm tired of being overweight and I need to start doing more for myself, so I joined SP (again) and am going to succeed this time. Darn it. I really need to expand my online social circle, too, since it is just my mom and me and I obviously don't get out of the house too often. =)

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6/29/11 1:39 P

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Hi and welcome (back) to SP & the team!
No, you're not being self- centered, and yes, unfortunately, most people are clueless and don't get what it's llike to be a caregiver for a family member!

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
JPIKE44's Photo JPIKE44 Posts: 29
6/29/11 9:29 A

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Hi. I have come back to Spark several times in the past and as someone else had stated in their post, life just pulls me in another direction but I continue to find my way back. I am primary caregiver to my boyfriend who is 45 and mismanaged his diabetes all his life. Now with my assistance it is well controlled but the damage has already been done. For the past 1.5 years we've done nothing but deal with reprecussion of the years of mismanagment. He gets diabetic wounds that continue to reoccur since he had to have a partial amputation of his foot. It gets so frustrating. He gets upset because he ends up being off work and told to stay off his foot for weeks and weeks as we try to get the wounds to heal. Currently he was in the process of qualifying for a kidney transplant but these new wounds have put that on hold. These new wounds have pushed us both to the edge. We are both frustrated and upset. The sad thing is that all I hear from people is how he must feel and whenever I mention how I feel or how it has affected me I get looks like I'm being self-centered and inconsiderate of his feelings. No one seems to understand how his medical set backs also affect me and my life. I've started to have some health issues from the stress - stomach problems, headaches. I'm not being self-centered and I do think about him every moment of the day and night and consider how he feels but at what point is it not wrong to think about yourself and want to do something for yourself? People who are not in the role of the caregiver do not understand the stress of being a caregiver.

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REREBIGMAMA's Photo REREBIGMAMA Posts: 868
6/24/11 12:37 A

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Welcome to the team, Aliciap...

I haven't been on the team forums a lot lately because of the demands of my life, but I have managed to use the website daily. It must be difficult for your older child, as well as for you. Kids don't always understand why mom is spending so much time and energy on a sibling. They can sometimes feel left out.

It's so difficult dealing with a child who's ill. I am caregiver to my daughter. She, however, is an adult now. But, no matter how old they get, they're still our babies. We, as mothers, feel we need to make things right for our kids. It can lead to an intense feeling of powerlessness in these types of situations.

Best of luck to you. This is a great team for support and care. Don't forget to make time for you also. That can be a challenge, but you deserve and need it.....

They call me ReRe.....

The only way you fail.....
Is if you quit!

Life is too short not to be happy and have a good time!!



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6/20/11 11:51 P

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welcome to the team, alicia!

Has he ever been tested for celiac disease or gluten intolerance? Most, if not all the things you listed can be influenced/ caused by celiac/ gluten intolerance. celiac affects the whole body, not just the digestive system. i know for me, (self- diagnosed gluten intolerant), I had a number of sypmtoms that aren't not related to my digestive system.

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
ALICIAP's Photo ALICIAP SparkPoints: (12,345)
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6/20/11 2:12 A

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Hi my name is Alicia! I am the mother of a 7 year old who suffers from chronic Asthma, chronic sinus infections, ADHD, MDD (major depression disorder), PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and anxiety. He was also diagnosed with Raynauds Disease when he was 11 months old but his doctor thinks it maybe something else. I also have an 18 month old boy who so far (knock on wood) is healthy!

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4/4/11 11:59 P

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glad to see you back here, ReRe!! :)

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
REREBIGMAMA's Photo REREBIGMAMA Posts: 868
4/4/11 11:14 P

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Hello Everyone....

I'm not really new to SP or to this team. I've been a member before, but have been away for awhile. It's difficult for me to sustain my presence here, while trying to manage my life. For those of you who remember me, thanks! For those who don't or are new here since I left, let me introduce myself. I'm a caregiver to my adult daughter who has end stage renal disease and is on dialysis, and to my father who has dementia. They both live with me. I, also, work full time. I'm living in Western PA now. I moved here a year and a half ago from South Florida. People ask me all the time why I moved here. Well, it wasn't for the weather emoticon I have an adult son who lives here. I needed some help with my responsibilities and he was willing to pitch in and help me. I find it's very easy to forget about taking care of myself while caring for my family. I had put my own health on the back burner for quite awhile. However, I found myself feeling drained and exhausted these past few months. I can't continue to meet the demands of my life in this condition. So, I'm back at SP. Attempting once again to regain balance in life and develop a lifestyle which will sustain me. I need some encouragement and support and I know I'll find it here.....

They call me ReRe.....

The only way you fail.....
Is if you quit!

Life is too short not to be happy and have a good time!!



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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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6/11/10 3:01 P

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Hi & Welcome to the Caregivers team!

it sounds to me like you are an emotional/ stress eater...I am not really myself, so not sure how much advice I can give...other than maybe when you're upset, try chewing on gum or sucking on a hard candy instead of eating.... but if you do need to eat something, try to make sure it is something healthy.
Do you do the stress eating when around your mom, or when away from her, like at home? If you're doing it when you're away from her, I have other suggestions... 1) ask yourself if you're really hungry. There's a saying: 'if hunger's not the problem, food is not the answer!' 2) write down your goals & read them often 3) go for a walk, or do some sort of exercise, to distract your mind for a while. 4) talk to your husband (like you said!) or ask for support here on SP.
Now that I think about it, I think I will start a separate thread about emotional eating... Considering the amount of stress we caregivers are under daily, I'm sure there are others on this team who do the same thing!

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
MICHELLE_SUE's Photo MICHELLE_SUE Posts: 150
6/11/10 2:08 P

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Hello all! I, too am new here. After reading your posts, I feel that maybe I am just too sorry for myself. I am not a full time caregiver at home yet, just at work (only nurse for a 49 adult mental health facility); however my Mom is rapidly getting to the point where she will have to leave her home. She dreads it and daily tells me she wants to die. She can still get around pretty well, but she is suffering from increasing confusion, alcoholism, and mental illness. She is a very stressful person, elderly and in turn; whiny, demanding, embarrassing, and pitiful. I remember a strong confident woman that ran my life and my Dad's without any difficulty at all, that is now clingy and confused. It's difficult to even define my emotions toward her. Thank God for my husband, the most patient man in the world, that is able to handle both her AND me! Guess what I do when around Mom...EAT!

Sorry to make this so long...I guess I just needed to vent! Any advice?

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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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4/28/10 9:35 A

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and we're glad to have you here :) !

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
SERENEBEACH's Photo SERENEBEACH SparkPoints: (5,039)
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4/27/10 7:59 P

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Hello everyone. I am 48 and I care for my 21-year-old son who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He is fully wheelchair-bound. My husband travels alot for work and my 3 daughters are grown and out of the house, so most of the time, during the week, it's just my son and me. I'm glad to have found this team!

Don't worry, be happy!


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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,179)
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4/26/10 9:56 P

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Welcome, Bunnycats (love your screenname!!!)!!!
I, too, odn't have children, and care for my hubby--he has Cerebral Palsy. Unfortunately, we don't have any pets :(.

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
BUNNYCATS's Photo BUNNYCATS SparkPoints: (17,407)
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4/26/10 7:47 P

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I'm a 49 years old lady, no children. I work full time and take care of my husband who has a brain injury, copd, and chf. We have 2 beautiful cats and 2 beautiful rabbits.


Edited by: BUNNYCATS at: 4/26/2010 (21:56)
"Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don't unravel. ~Author Unknown

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”

"Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried on great winds across the sky." Chippewa, translated by Robert Bly


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4/11/10 11:08 P

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Hi Ellen---my hubby is 36 and has Spastic CP. Feel free to come chat with us all any time!

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
Idaho Living
Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
Plantar Fasciitis
Sleep Apnea
South Beach Diet
Tall Ladies
ILCIGNO's Photo ILCIGNO Posts: 61
4/11/10 12:34 P

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Hi, my name is Ellen and I live in Italy. I am a caregiver to my daughter, 25, quad CP. I was with Spark for a while last year and did well with weight loss and eating healthier, but then life intervened. Now I'm back and hoping to get back in the groove. Hi to all.

Ellen in Siena
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature ... life is either a daring adventure or nothing." --Helen Keller


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