Posts: 6,689
5/31/13 2:21 A

Hi team .after reading your mails I feel I am very fortunate . My husband was diagnosed with Alzeimers a few months ago. He is not bad yet. Forgetful of course and a bit confused but we have many good conversations and we can still do things . It can change I know and no one knows what paths it will follow or when. . But I still feel I need guidance,tolerance and patience too!
I try to look after my own health and keep up my own interests and friendships while I can . Irene

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2/14/13 3:45 P

I began as a caregiver at age 19 when my father had a ruptured aorta and stroke. He lived for 30 more years. When I was 48, my mother became ill and placed in a nursing home. The final 6 months of her life, I was her partner in hospice. In 2006, I became a parish visitor, do home communions. and hospital visitations for my church. I work with families as they handle caregiving and stress as well as the patient.

I now give my husband peritoneal dialysis every evening. He has multiple health issues. So only 19 years of my life have been free from caregiving.

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2/8/13 3:33 A

Hi all,

I'm Kat and I'm a carer for my partner, who has chronic degenerating back and knee problems that leave him barely able to walk or even stand up unaided on some days, as well as severe mental illness. I have to dedicate most of my time to looking after him, which is both physically and mentally exhausting, obviously - and it's only made worse by my current weight issues. I'm slowly working to improve his diet as I improve my own though, and I at least can unwind with our two cats, who try to help as much as cats can.

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1/25/13 8:45 A

Hi ReRe - glad to have you back.

Dianne

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1/25/13 4:07 A

Hello Everyone...

I'm not new to this team, but have been away for quite awhile. Well.... I'm back.... again...LOL I just refuse to give up! I haven't been able to get enough consistency to lose a great amount of weight here. I have lost 22 lbs. since finding SP, but that was back in 2007. Some of us need more time to get "it", I guess. Anyway, I have high hopes this time. I'm still trying to fit myself into my life of caring for others, but I believe this is going to be the year it all clicks. I've missed everyone and all the support I've received here in the past. And, I'm looking forward to reconnecting with everyone. I'm, also, looking forward to making new friends and getting to know all of you.

ReRe

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9/12/12 5:37 P

Welcome to the group Kathie.

Dianne

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9/12/12 11:45 A

I'm trying to compose a brief reason why I'm with this team, but it just gets longer and longer. My caregiving concerns aren't with one or even two people, but many: daughters that have trouble coping with their children, grandchildren (11) who need special attention, 4 elderly parents in various stages of need. They all are nearby, and I'm a primary contact for most of them. My own energy levels fluctuate and I occasionally get overwhelmed, at which point the arthritis takes over. Thanks for a venting place, and a place to come and share stories. I've already received strength and encouragement from reading the posts.
Blessings to you all in your own struggles. I'll be sending healing, happy thoughts and prayers your way.
Kathie

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8/8/12 9:28 P

My dh had dementia since 2002 from a major stroke. He lost most of his short term memory. It made cooking an impossible task as he would start something, leave it on the stove and promptly forget about until the smoke detector went off. This happened even if he was still in the kitchen. He had to be reminded of everything, when to take a bath,change his clothes, what day it was, etc. It made it extremely difficult to have conversations with as he would forget what we were talking about mid-way through a discusion. It made life extremely difficult. I became a caregiver as opposed to a wife. He was also unable to take care of any finances. He found everything so expenses as he could only remember prices from 10 - 15 years ago. It sounds like you mother is going to require more supervised care If possible do try to get help. This job is extremely tiring. Take care of yourself also (the most important thing) as you cannot care for your mom if you are not taking care of you.

Good luck, and welcome to the team

Dianne

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8/8/12 1:19 P

My name is Nell and I just found this team. My mother is sinking fast into dementia, and I am the closest child. She lives in a continuing care facility, which is wonderful, but her fantasies (hallucinations?) are making it hard for me. I can't tell if she is eating properly because she drinks so much wine, the most important part of her life. She has let me take over her finances, but insists on "checking up" on me. I worry about her cooking in the evening. She can't read and follow directions on a box, and she doesn't clean up well. The decline in just the last 6 months is shocking.

My husband had two strokes last year, and that was easier to handle because at least he understood what was going on, even if he didn't like it. With Mom, I always feel like the bad guy.

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7/29/12 6:28 A

hi michele- My name is karen and I too am a retired RN. We seem to have alot in common as I am caregiver for my husband who became paraplegic four years ago and was forced to retire. We to are on a fixed income, just ssd and his retirement. I am only 59 and would like to work but it is impossible due for caring for him.He is only allowed out of bed for 2 hours per day so it's difficult to get out to run errands. Fortunately my two adult children live with us and they will stay with him sometime(when they are not working) so I can get out. Are you able to get out occasionaly and leave your husband alone? One thing I can offer as a suggestion is something that has worked for me to reduce stress alot. Try getting up earlier than hubby and take 1 hour to do something you enjoy. I love to read so 1 cup of coffee and a good book make me happy. Even if Pat is awake he knows not to bother me during this time. write back and maybe we can support each other. Let me know if there's anything I can do.Do you have any pets? we have 8 cats. I also love organic gardenig raised bed, painting. What do you enjoy doing? Are you still working? Hope to hear from you soon. Take care and keep on trucking.

Posts: 11
7/28/12 7:28 A

I'm a newbie to the group.live in Seminole Florida.caring for husband of 40 years who became paraplegic 4 years ago. love cats we have 8. i am especially frustrated and feel angry and resentful alot. since hubby is only allowed out of bed for 2 hours per day, I'm pretty much stuck at home unless one of my adult children can stay with him to give me a break. i have cabin fever and am very social so need to connect with others. Anyone else live near this area? Just joined spark people 2 weeks ago and love it. 4 lbs down already.

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6/19/12 10:56 A

Good Morning all. I don't know if being a professional caregiver counts on here or not but....I work in a small assisted living home for about 6 people. They have varying stages of dementia/Alzheimer's. I'm also married to a wonderful man for almost 21 years and we will soon be emptynesters and I'm only 40. Lol. My issues are the physical/ verbal abuse one takes and the "letting go" of them. When the day is good it's great when bad it's very bad.Which is par for the course though. Hoping to learn new methods and stress relief. Iknow some are saying well look for another job. I can't. I love my job and what I do. My clients aren't a number or a bed. They're people. Someone's mom or dad husband or wife. It just gets frustrating trying to help when you're not sure what time zone they're in. But I stay for the times when they look at you in a moment of clarity and say "thank you dear".
Anne

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5/6/12 9:15 P

Hi! My name is Marsha and my mother lives with my husband and me. She had a bad stroke in 2005 (she lived alone then) and laid on her living room floor for a few hours before a neighbor came over to check on her and looked through the curtains she usually had drawn closed by this time, and saw her lying on the floor and called 911. After she was released from the hospital, we moved her down to a rehab center in the town where we live close to Cincinnati. After about 3 months of rehab, she came to live with us. She also has vascular dementia, probably as a result of the bleeding in her brain. And she has diabetes and congestive heart failure. She's 87, sometimes cranky, but she still has her sense of humor and can laugh a lot! Two days a week she goes to an Adult Day Care Center which has been good for her and it gives me a chance to run errands, have dr. appointments, etc. It's been a Godsend.
I'm on a couple of Web Sites -- Aging.com and Caring.com and joined a couple of similar teams on SparkPeople because I believe sharing ideas and commiserating is a big help. Feel free to email me or comment on my SparkPage or befriend me. We can all use more friends!
Marsha

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1/29/12 7:16 P

welcome, TundraLodger1
1

what is this 'dragging you here' stuff???? :)


I definately understand the havoc winter weather can reak(sp) on our poor caree's backy and bodies.... my husband hasn't been able to go to church since mid December because of it. and I know all too well the havoc it can cause us caregivers, as well :(.


BLUESTARMOM-- yes, it is a small world!! Welived in Pocatello for 3.5 years before we moved here to Boise. And we still have family in Poc'y.

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1/28/12 8:14 P

RHALES thanks for dragging me here from another forum! Still getting my feet wet here, but so appreciative of all the support.

My DH is in a quiet phase with his leukemia, but the winter is really hard on his back and body pain. Like many of you, I let myself go while tending his issues and 'supervising'. Working nights makes me a magnet for weight gain and health problems, too. Lots of bad habits to change!

Looking forward to getting to know you all and being a supportive team member.

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1/16/12 8:55 A

Thanks. I see on you tagline that you belong to a lot of Idaho groups. I lived near Pocatello for 10 years, and my daughter and grand kids live in Jerome. Small world! I think that one of the best things that is coming out of this is that I'm forced to make Mike a little more independent. I've been pushing his wheelchair all over the place because it's been easier- now he's pushing himself. I think this will be better for both of us.

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1/14/12 7:16 P

Welcome back to SP, bluestarmom!
We can do this!

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1/14/12 5:30 P

Hello! Boy, am I ever glad to find this team! I belonged to SP a few years back, and managed to lose 80 pounds. Unfortunately, I've manged to find them again. I work full time teaching kindergarten and now come home to take care of my significant other, who went into sudden cardiac arrest a year ago October. I performed CPR on him, and the doctors beat the odds to save him, but it has been a year full of medical complications. He's now diabetic, an above the knee amputee, finally had a difibrillator implanted after 6 months with a life vest, has short term memory problems, and on and on. I put myself on the back burner to take care of him, and now I've come to realize that if I want to be able to continue taking care of him, I have to take care of myself first.

Posts: 35
11/15/11 5:38 P

Thank you all for your warm welcomes. Just reading what you have to say makes me realize how much I need this group. And how much worse everyone else is. I feel like crying because of all the kind words and support you have given me.
Thank you so much.
Trisha

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10/24/11 9:45 P

RUMPLETZR- glad you joined our group! My husband was born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy. He cna't walk w/ o assistance & is legally blind. And has had back problems the last 4 years. I can relate to a LOT of what you're saying!!!! Come here anytime! :)

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10/24/11 7:30 P

You should never feel angry because you want something for yourself. I have been taking care of my husband for 17 years and my handicapped son prior to that for 15 years. That makes 32 years of caregiving. You will find that your emotions will be all over the place on different days. It is OK to be selfish once in a while. Take time off, find someone to stay with your husband and go and do something special for yourself. Have you consider putting your husband in respite care for a couple of days or couple of weeks. I you can affort it, take a vacation and come back with your batteries recharged.

My husband has reach a point where I am looking to place him in long term care. His Alzheimer is getting worse every day, and he now has terminal lung cancer (he cannot get treatment). The specialist told us he would be more likely to die from the cure rather than the cancer. His cancer is stable at the moment.

And please do not be ashamed, most caregivers will feel like that sooner or later.

Take good care of yourself. I hope you have some sunshine in your future.

Posts: 35
10/24/11 6:44 P

Hi everyone, my name is Trisha. I am a caregiver to my husband of 19 years. He has type 1 diabetes, RA, osteoarthritis, and he hurt his back at work (and didn't tell them, thinking it was minor). I am bipolar, have GAD, Ptsd and type 2 diabetes.
I have become the driver of us, because he is on painkillers (vicodene). I need to loose weight to get control of my own diabetes.
We have no children, and that depresses me. We have seven cats instead. Sometimes I get angry that he can't help me with anything, and that I have to do everything for him. I am very ashamed of this.

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10/23/11 3:10 P

Hi HOMESCHOOLMEL

Welcome to the team. I am sorry for the hard time you are having at the moment. And while I am sure that you are a wonderful wife and mother, make sure you keep some space for you. Don't forget if you get sick, there will be no one to take care of your family. I wish you hope, peace and good luck during this journey

Posts: 182
10/23/11 3:01 P

Hi, I'm new here. My husband was severely disabled in a car accident in June. He has a traumatic brain injury and can not do anything for himself, as of yet. He was hospitalized for 116 days and came home 3 weeks ago. This has been a difficult adjustment, but we're managing. Sadly, we don't qualify for any state waiver programs, so any help I may need will have to be private pay. We do currently have therapy visits in-home which are covered by our insurance. I've managed to get through all of the paperwork - SSDI application, and Long-disability applications. I've certainly learned a lot in the past 4 months!

My name is Melanie and we have two children - a boy who is 13 and a girl, 10. They are homeschooled. We've managed to include school in our schedule and I'm certainly glad they're here. I can get DH in and out of his wheelchair by standing him up, turning, and sitting him down, but I can't do it without our son's help.

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10/22/11 2:07 P

Hi, glad to welcome you on board. I also have been a caregiver for as long as I can remember. I have a 25 year old son with Autism. He was placed in care at the age of 15 because I could no longer care for him. My husband got sick 6 months later so it has been 34 years or so. Before becoming a caregiver I had a home day care centre (9 children), and before that I worked in a day care. My husband and I have been married 25 years and have known each other for 35 years. He is much older than I am. There is a 22 year age difference. I am 58 and he is 80. He never got to enjoy his retirement as he had to retire early because of cancer and all the other problems. It is sad because we never got to travel and enjoy life a little.

So I guess I qualify for the title of caregiver.

Now that my DH's Alzheimer is worse my psychiatrist told me enough is enough. You will have to place him or I will be the one getting sick. My bi-polar has not been stable since Fall of last year and he is afraid that I will have another breakdown.

Now there is a light at the end of the tunnel so that I can start thinking about myself. I am preparing myself by keeping in shape and getting to my optimum weight.

my . Keep in touch.

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10/5/11 11:22 P

welcome aboard!

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10/3/11 12:53 P

Hi ! Glad to have you with us. Join us on the different Discussions and in the Chat area ( first thread in the Discussion Forum ) . All of the Team are only a click away. Don't be a stranger.

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10/3/11 12:31 P

Hello Team! I am new to this team but not to sparkpeople. I have been a caregiver as long as I can remember. Started out taking care of my brother growing up to the point of feeling like I was his mother though both my parents have been around and are still around today, he just looked up to me growing up. I work in the medical field currently as a Health Unit Coordinator at a hospital but in the past have done CNA work in nursing homes, homecare, and hospital settings. And last but not least I am a caregiver to my sweet, caring husband who has Tuberous Sclerosis in which he has seizures and a learning disability so unable to drive and get social security each month. Life can be a struggle, but the way he treats me and loves me keeps me going and not wanting to give him up. We have been together for almost 4 years. We are not officially married because we do not want to risk losing his income and benefits, but we still consider ourselves a married couple.

I joined this team to get support from others who are in similar situations. I have adapted to this life though at times it gets difficult finding time for myself. I am working on it. It also helps now that I work day shift because then I get up before my husband. I am able to have my time in the morning before going to work and also getting my exercise in before work then when I get home from work I spend time with him. Been working on getting him to be more healthy and active also though it has been a struggle, he is getting better. Sometimes I am jealous that he has all the time in the world to do whatever he wants without working and yet get stressed because he has more time to take care of himself and yet lacks exercise and getting healthy, but he is improving on that.

Well thats all for now, but if you wanna know more feel free to contact me and ask. I would like to get to know others in similar situations and feedback on how others handle things.


Sara

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8/25/11 12:10 A

welcome, both of you!!!!!:)

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8/24/11 7:35 P

Hi everyone. I am from Tifton, Ga. Anyone else from down south near here? I hope to make alot of friends and get alot of support. I love the work but not the hours! No time to exercise!

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8/7/11 11:34 P

Hi everyone ! I am new here as I need to be around people that are taking care of a loved.
As a retired registered nurse, I have many times taken care of other people's loved ones. Now the shoe is on the other foot. Support is what I need as my husband's family accepts him as he was ten years ago. So my girls ( from a previous marriage are my only support and they are each 100 miles away ( Ohio and Southern Kentucky ). We are right in the middle in Northern Kentucky.

With the surgeries he has had over the last 7 years his weight has gone from 180# down to between 140-145#. Because of a mini Stroke he had to retire five years ago at the age of 71.
He has no appetite, and when he does decide to eat, I find myself fixing two separate meals.

We are both on SSI plus our pensions, with the cost of medicines for he and I, rising cost of food and the uncertainity of the SSI checks--everything has just closed in on me this past week.

Now more than ever, I need the support of people who have or are walking in my shoes. Any or all suggestions or help is gladly needed.

Thanks for letting me blow, I really needed to........

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7/13/11 12:09 P

Welcome!!

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7/13/11 10:03 A

Hi, my name is Linda, and I've been on Spark siince July of 2008. I'm 48, and have been a caregiver for my 55 year old husband since January 2011 when he was diagnosed with brain tumors. This diagnosis was a complete surprise - he went from completely healthy (just overweight was the only problem) to a stumbly, headachy, forgetful mess in abou two weeks time. I was working, taking liberal time off for doctor visits, etc, until about a month ago when his condition deteriorated to the point that I had to stop working (for the most part).

I'm glad I found this team. My spark friends are wonderful and supportive, but I'm finding that no one REALLY knows what this is like unless they have been there & done that.

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7/5/11 8:57 P

Hi! I'm 29 and I've been taking care of my mom since she had surgery to remove a malignant brain tumor in December 2009. She still has chemo once a month and certain deficits that result in her needing constant care. Its kind of frustrating because she really is doing so well, but the problems are just in certain areas (numbers, attention span, slight right side mobility issues) that require me to keep a closer eye on her.

I'm tired of being overweight and I need to start doing more for myself, so I joined SP (again) and am going to succeed this time. Darn it. I really need to expand my online social circle, too, since it is just my mom and me and I obviously don't get out of the house too often. =)

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6/29/11 1:39 P

Hi and welcome (back) to SP & the team!
No, you're not being self- centered, and yes, unfortunately, most people are clueless and don't get what it's llike to be a caregiver for a family member!

Posts: 29
6/29/11 9:29 A

Hi. I have come back to Spark several times in the past and as someone else had stated in their post, life just pulls me in another direction but I continue to find my way back. I am primary caregiver to my boyfriend who is 45 and mismanaged his diabetes all his life. Now with my assistance it is well controlled but the damage has already been done. For the past 1.5 years we've done nothing but deal with reprecussion of the years of mismanagment. He gets diabetic wounds that continue to reoccur since he had to have a partial amputation of his foot. It gets so frustrating. He gets upset because he ends up being off work and told to stay off his foot for weeks and weeks as we try to get the wounds to heal. Currently he was in the process of qualifying for a kidney transplant but these new wounds have put that on hold. These new wounds have pushed us both to the edge. We are both frustrated and upset. The sad thing is that all I hear from people is how he must feel and whenever I mention how I feel or how it has affected me I get looks like I'm being self-centered and inconsiderate of his feelings. No one seems to understand how his medical set backs also affect me and my life. I've started to have some health issues from the stress - stomach problems, headaches. I'm not being self-centered and I do think about him every moment of the day and night and consider how he feels but at what point is it not wrong to think about yourself and want to do something for yourself? People who are not in the role of the caregiver do not understand the stress of being a caregiver.

Posts: 823
6/24/11 12:37 A

Welcome to the team, Aliciap...

I haven't been on the team forums a lot lately because of the demands of my life, but I have managed to use the website daily. It must be difficult for your older child, as well as for you. Kids don't always understand why mom is spending so much time and energy on a sibling. They can sometimes feel left out.

It's so difficult dealing with a child who's ill. I am caregiver to my daughter. She, however, is an adult now. But, no matter how old they get, they're still our babies. We, as mothers, feel we need to make things right for our kids. It can lead to an intense feeling of powerlessness in these types of situations.

Best of luck to you. This is a great team for support and care. Don't forget to make time for you also. That can be a challenge, but you deserve and need it.....

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6/20/11 11:51 P

welcome to the team, alicia!

Has he ever been tested for celiac disease or gluten intolerance? Most, if not all the things you listed can be influenced/ caused by celiac/ gluten intolerance. celiac affects the whole body, not just the digestive system. i know for me, (self- diagnosed gluten intolerant), I had a number of sypmtoms that aren't not related to my digestive system.

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6/20/11 2:12 A

Hi my name is Alicia! I am the mother of a 7 year old who suffers from chronic Asthma, chronic sinus infections, ADHD, MDD (major depression disorder), PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and anxiety. He was also diagnosed with Raynauds Disease when he was 11 months old but his doctor thinks it maybe something else. I also have an 18 month old boy who so far (knock on wood) is healthy!

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4/4/11 11:59 P

glad to see you back here, ReRe!! :)

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4/4/11 11:14 P

Hello Everyone....

I'm not really new to SP or to this team. I've been a member before, but have been away for awhile. It's difficult for me to sustain my presence here, while trying to manage my life. For those of you who remember me, thanks! For those who don't or are new here since I left, let me introduce myself. I'm a caregiver to my adult daughter who has end stage renal disease and is on dialysis, and to my father who has dementia. They both live with me. I, also, work full time. I'm living in Western PA now. I moved here a year and a half ago from South Florida. People ask me all the time why I moved here. Well, it wasn't for the weather I have an adult son who lives here. I needed some help with my responsibilities and he was willing to pitch in and help me. I find it's very easy to forget about taking care of myself while caring for my family. I had put my own health on the back burner for quite awhile. However, I found myself feeling drained and exhausted these past few months. I can't continue to meet the demands of my life in this condition. So, I'm back at SP. Attempting once again to regain balance in life and develop a lifestyle which will sustain me. I need some encouragement and support and I know I'll find it here.....

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6/11/10 3:01 P

Hi & Welcome to the Caregivers team!

it sounds to me like you are an emotional/ stress eater...I am not really myself, so not sure how much advice I can give...other than maybe when you're upset, try chewing on gum or sucking on a hard candy instead of eating.... but if you do need to eat something, try to make sure it is something healthy.
Do you do the stress eating when around your mom, or when away from her, like at home? If you're doing it when you're away from her, I have other suggestions... 1) ask yourself if you're really hungry. There's a saying: 'if hunger's not the problem, food is not the answer!' 2) write down your goals & read them often 3) go for a walk, or do some sort of exercise, to distract your mind for a while. 4) talk to your husband (like you said!) or ask for support here on SP.
Now that I think about it, I think I will start a separate thread about emotional eating... Considering the amount of stress we caregivers are under daily, I'm sure there are others on this team who do the same thing!

Posts: 150
6/11/10 2:08 P

Hello all! I, too am new here. After reading your posts, I feel that maybe I am just too sorry for myself. I am not a full time caregiver at home yet, just at work (only nurse for a 49 adult mental health facility); however my Mom is rapidly getting to the point where she will have to leave her home. She dreads it and daily tells me she wants to die. She can still get around pretty well, but she is suffering from increasing confusion, alcoholism, and mental illness. She is a very stressful person, elderly and in turn; whiny, demanding, embarrassing, and pitiful. I remember a strong confident woman that ran my life and my Dad's without any difficulty at all, that is now clingy and confused. It's difficult to even define my emotions toward her. Thank God for my husband, the most patient man in the world, that is able to handle both her AND me! Guess what I do when around Mom...EAT!

Sorry to make this so long...I guess I just needed to vent! Any advice?

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4/28/10 9:35 A

and we're glad to have you here :) !

SparkPoints: (5,038)
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Posts: 96
4/27/10 7:59 P

Hello everyone. I am 48 and I care for my 21-year-old son who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He is fully wheelchair-bound. My husband travels alot for work and my 3 daughters are grown and out of the house, so most of the time, during the week, it's just my son and me. I'm glad to have found this team!

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SparkPoints: (27,156)
Fitness Minutes: (9,106)
Posts: 7,245
4/26/10 9:56 P

Welcome, Bunnycats (love your screenname!!!)!!!
I, too, odn't have children, and care for my hubby--he has Cerebral Palsy. Unfortunately, we don't have any pets :(.

Posts: 165
4/26/10 7:47 P

I'm a 49 years old lady, no children. I work full time and take care of my husband who has a brain injury, copd, and chf. We have 2 beautiful cats and 2 beautiful rabbits.


Edited by: BUNNYCATS at: 4/26/2010 (21:56)

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SparkPoints: (27,156)
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4/11/10 11:08 P

Hi Ellen---my hubby is 36 and has Spastic CP. Feel free to come chat with us all any time!

Posts: 61
4/11/10 12:34 P

Hi, my name is Ellen and I live in Italy. I am a caregiver to my daughter, 25, quad CP. I was with Spark for a while last year and did well with weight loss and eating healthier, but then life intervened. Now I'm back and hoping to get back in the groove. Hi to all.

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SparkPoints: (27,156)
Fitness Minutes: (9,106)
Posts: 7,245
4/5/10 10:48 P

Welcome to the team! I look forward to seeing you around :)!

Posts: 12,987
4/5/10 7:03 P

Hi I'm 42 yrs young married 10 yrs; 3 grown children (2 boys 1 girl) & 3 granddaughters.
Im raising my eldest grand who just turned 5. I take care of my father full time
I m very involved with my church & do alot of volunteerism

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11/18/09 7:04 A

Welcome Janet, Jenn, Jeaners and Billie to the Caregivers Support group. I look forward to getting to know you better.

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9/7/09 9:28 P

Welcome to the team, Billie! We're glad to have you with us! Feel free to chat on our chat thread or let us know if you need support in any way any time!

Posts: 4
9/7/09 9:12 P

Hello to all, I am just getting familiar with finding my way around the site. I turn 60 this December and brought my Mom home to live with us last November. She has diabetes that she has never been good about her care which has resulted in a multitude of other medical issues. But the good news is in the last year we have made great strides in improvement in all areas. She can't live by herself though and maintain the routine necessary on her own. So, I came to the realization that if I don't start taking care of me also, I could be looking at myself across the table. So I am glad to be here and meet all of you. Billie

Posts: 902
4/20/09 7:05 A

Janet, Jenn and Jeaners to the Caregivers Support team. It is so nice to get new members. We hope you find support and ideas with us, and we welcome any ideas and info you pass onto us. Good luck on your weight loss journey!

SparkPoints: (10,923)
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Posts: 309
4/19/09 10:15 P

Hello

I'm not caring for someone, but I'm an employee of the alzheimer society and I know the most I have learned is from my clients and any extra information I can gather for them if helpful.
Also anything I learn from them in our support groups I will gladly pass along to help anyone else

Thanks

Posts: 5,572
3/26/09 7:26 A

Welcome Jenn to the team

SparkPoints: (27,156)
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Posts: 7,245
3/26/09 12:14 A

WElcome to the team!

Posts: 12,033
3/25/09 11:03 P

welcome Jenn

I was just reading your page and some of your blogs. you are doing a good thing taking care of your mom, but its hard being away from your husband

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3/25/09 10:56 P

Hi, I am not new to Spark but new to this team. I just found it.
In December my family decided that my mom needed someone to live with her full time. Because of my situation I moved in with her.
It has been mostly a blessing. She is doing much better health wise since I moved in and I have been able to really focus on my weight loss and exercise!
The only drawback is my husband lives a state away.
Hopefully soon, we will be able to sell our house and live in the same state!

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3/7/09 10:31 P

Welcome to all the new team members and be sure to go to Team Caregivers Support and join us at the 2009 Chat Room. We meet you here and chat there.


Janet,
Caregivers need all the support they can get......this is not an easy life and we give til we are worn out and then give some more. No one else seems to step up to the plate and relieve us. Take this time to take care of yourself. Make time to exercise, eat healthy and rest. I am so glad your hubby helps take care of his Mom. Whew!! I look forward to getting to know you on the 2009 Chat Room.

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3/7/09 10:02 P

welcome to our team Janet. I'm sorry for all that you have been going through. it sure is tough sometimes isn't it.

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Posts: 5,572
3/7/09 9:58 P

Hi! My name is Janet (Jan) and I've been a caregiver to my mother-in-law age 99(hubby is an only child) for 10 yrs come 22 August 09'. I have put her though heart valve surgery (2001), cataract surgery (both eyes)(2002-2003), hip surgery (2006), multiple hospital stays over the years for CHF, COPD and a number of other issues that seem to come about with age. At this time she is in Rehab for 2-4 weeks after a 4 day stay in the hospital with her CHF issue. She has a hearing problem that makes it very hard for me to care for her. Hubby has been doing most of the caring lately, as I upset the little lady because I have to yell in order for her to hear me. (I hate upsetting her so I speak as little as possible to her) She has been involved with an adult daycare program 3 days a week in order for me to work at my full-time job. (I make my own hours which helps) I'm wondering how much care she is going to need this time around after coming home. I know whatever needs to be done will be done, as it is the way things go in life. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone here and hope that our personnel journey of caring for our loved ones and ourselves improve ONE DAY AT A TIME. Good Luck Everyone!

Posts: 293
1/6/09 10:37 P

HI. MY NAME IS JANE. SOME OF YOU MAY REMEMBER ME FROM TWO YEARS AGO. I GOT AWAY FROM SPARKS AND I AM JUST STARTING MY JOURNEY OF WEIGHT LOSS ALL OVER AGAIN. I LIKE ALL OF YOU AM A CAREGIVER. I TAKE CARE OF TWO LADIES WHO HAVE PHYSICAL DISABILITIES. I LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW ALL OF YOU AND WOULD APPRECIATE ALL THE SUPPORT THAT I CAN GET. GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU WITH YOUR JOURNEYS AS WELL.

SparkPoints: (10,756)
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Posts: 1,518
9/28/08 12:53 A

Keep an eye on your sodium intake it should be no more than 3000 mg per day. I wasn't losing weight because my sodium level was higher. Even when I was watching my calories.

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9/27/08 11:24 P

Thanks for all of the kind words and welcomes. So far, this week, my eating has been healthy and I've been drinking plenty of water. I've also begun stretching each day which helps me feel better, more in my body. I've yet to start strength training or cardio ... but, one step at a time ... and I'm happy with everything else. For the first time in a long time today I took some time out just for myself. I visited some local small farms that were open for tours ... what a joy ... and I'm feeling more ready to tackle challenges again.

Suanne

Edited by: SLOW-N-STEADY at: 9/27/2008 (23:24)

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Posts: 606
9/27/08 7:24 P

Welcome Suanne,
I am so sorry about your daughter but am so glad you can be there for her and your grandson, plus helping your son in law is such a blessing. My prayers are with all of you; hang in there and try to hit the veggies and fruits while you can. We lost our 16 year old son to bone cancer and it is not easy to cope...even 30 years later.

Welcome to Roberta,
Wow, I have had to move my parents and my Dad was determined to stay at the old place. I moved my Mom to the new place and only took what she needed. By the time we got Mom moved, Dad was upset and wanted to go. We left everything they did not have to have and had an "ESTATE" sale two months later.

It is amazing what everyone will haul off for you!! Just find the new place and tell your Mom you are moving....that you have to have a place with less work and less clutter. Some of it I sold for a dollar a bag and they stripped the place the last hour.

You say she is strong willed......well, maybe she wants to hire someone to live with her and let you go on with your life? Shame on her! Her doctor needs to talk with her and get this settled. If he tells her assisted living or a nursing home, maybe she will wake up and see she needs you.

You must exercise if only 10 minutes at a time. Keep a food diary and start making time for yourself. We get lost taking care of our loved ones and forget to ask for help. Tell your doctor about being depressed and near tears all the time. He can help you and maybe you can find someone at the Sr. Center or RSVP to come and give you a morning or afternoon off. It is time to take care of YOU!!! I send prayers and hugs your way, hang in there!!
Marianne

current weight: 193.0

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Posts: 7,245
9/27/08 1:43 P

Welcome to the team, Roberta!
I haven't had to do much as far as moving other family members, but I do know that moving is never easy and always stressful!

Great job watching/ keeping track of what you eat!

As far as exercise, are you able to just get out of the house for a short 5- or 10 min walk? that's often all I can do. And remember, incidental things such as housework, walking in a store or pacing around the house, or in the case of some of us, lifting/ helping another person counts as exercise!

Looking forward to talking to you more! Feel free to join us on our team chat thread any time :)
Becky H

Posts: 1
9/27/08 12:39 P

Hi, I'm Roberta. I was so glad to see a support team on sparks. I'm 56 yo and moved in with my mother 5 1/2 year ago when she became ill. She has since suffered various arthritic problems, back, hip. More recently; shingles, gout, and a PE. She uses a walker to get around the house and to the car. She still is quite alert but neglectful of her diet and rest. She believes she will drive again if only she gets this or that "corrected". When age related health is what she suffers from. She's a strong willed woman who I admire her for, but gets hard to watch such a strong women become so physically disabled. I want to move into a different type of home (ranch) that would benefit her and me as I get older, but she refuses to move. It's very stressful. I can't begin to think about all the stuff that's in her house that would need to be rid of; donated or given to friends and family to move. Has anyone out there gone through such a task? I use to watch what I ate and exercised twice a week. I haven't exercised in 7 months, but I still try to watch what I eat. I haven't gained more but I haven't lost and my shape is changing rapidly. I'm depressed and near tears sometimes but I keep going. It's only me. Thanks for being here so that I can vent to those who are in the same boat. Thanks.

SparkPoints: (27,156)
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Posts: 7,245
9/23/08 12:37 A

to the team Suanne! We're glad you joined us!

Posts: 530
9/22/08 10:17 P

Cindy ... Thanks for the faster-than-light-speed welcome. I appreciate it. Suanne

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SparkPoints: (10,756)
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9/22/08 10:03 P

SUANNE, I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER . I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.ALL THE PEOPLE HERE ARE VERY FRIENDLY, CARING AND DOWN RIGHT WONDERFUL. CINDY

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9/22/08 9:55 P

Hi,

My name is Suanne (age 53) and I'm a part-time caregiver for my daughter Elise (age 30) who has inoperable brain cancer. It's been almost 2 years since I've been active on SP ... but, I realize that I need to start taking better care of myself so that I'm more able to deal with things to come. Unless there's a miracle, I don't expect Elise to survive for another 6 months ... probably less. Her husband does most of her day-to-day care, and I take her to all of her medical appointments and time at the hospital. I also care for their son (age 4) every once in a while to give her husband more of a break. I live about an hour away from them.
These past few months have been full of changes ... February Elise was diagnosed at which time I took a leave of absence, and in July I "retired." Unfortunately, I'm almost back to the high weight I was when I joined SP 3 years ago.
SP's community has been helpful to me in the past, and it seemed like I needed to find a support group that included people that were also dealing with caregiving.

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Posts: 3,394
9/22/08 5:36 P

Welcome to all new team members.

Posts: 606
1/26/08 11:09 A

Welcome to all the new members and I hope that you have discovered the main chats are held on the 2008 TEAM CHAT that you can find under CAREGIVERS SUPPORT page.......we have so many forums and topics that it is hard to keep track of us all. Hope to get to know you better over there......I am not as active as I used to be but am worried that we are not all chatting on the same page. I am sure we can get SPARKPEOPLE to help us get organized again.

See ya lighter,

Marianne

current weight: 193.0

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SparkPoints: (27,156)
Fitness Minutes: (9,106)
Posts: 7,245
1/2/08 5:29 P

Welcome ot the team, both of you! We're glad to have you! Any time you need support, let us know!

SparkPoints: (40,111)
Fitness Minutes: (22,117)
Posts: 5,835
1/2/08 3:30 P

Hi everyone and Happy New Year. I am a full time caregiver to my mom who has Alzheimer's. I see one familiar "face" here (Hi Linda!). I've been with SP for one year and definitely need help dealing with the day to day stress. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Judy

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Posts: 1,900
12/27/07 11:43 P

Hi, I'm the caregiver to my 84 yo live-in grandmother. She has dementia that is progressing into Alzheimers.

I am 36 and have 2 daughters (ages 7 and 3). My hubbie is fantastic and has made lots of life changes to allow me to take care of my gran.

I hope that I can find the support here that I don't get from my family... especially my uncle who denies that there is anything wrong.

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SparkPoints: (27,156)
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Posts: 7,245
11/20/07 11:48 P

WElcome to the team!!! We're glad to have you!
I know what you mean, as far as energy and stuff. My hubby just had neck surgery the end of August, and
I'm still getting my energy back. (stress does that to me!).

would home health aides be a possibility?

Anywho, take care!

Posts: 258
11/20/07 3:16 A

Hi Everyone, I joined SP last Dec. It has been a long time since I have been active and I do not see any familiar faces.

I am a full time caregiver to my husband of 34 years. He became ill in 1989 and spent 14 months in the hospital and I have been caring for him every since. He recently spent 6 weeks back in the hospital and for some reason, I am having a very hard time with all the new things we have to do! Not taking care of myself at all. No energy left for doing that! I am sure at some point I will get adjusted, just finding it hard right now. We have no children. There is no one else to share the caregiving. Worried about everything and I am not sleeping, not eating correctly or taking care of myself.

I need to start taking care of ME too! Hard to find the time or motivation right now.

When things are going good, I love to paint and you can view some of my things on my site.

Hoping to find some friends that will help me find myself again.

Thanks.

Posts: 442
11/8/07 10:14 A

Hi
I live in Mobile, AL, USA, and help my 75 year old mother get around. She had back surgery a year ago, and has needed help ever since. She lives by herself (VERY independant) but I do her yard work and other chores. I also provide all transportation including a ride to physical therapy 3 times a week (which is no chore at all because I workout in the gym). After reading about you folks on the boards here, I'm amazed and inspired. How it thrills my heart to see so many people taking responsibility for the welfare of their loved ones. There has to be more love here then on any other team in SparkPeople.

God bless you all!
Juanita

Edited by: AUBURNGAL at: 11/8/2007 (10:15)

SparkPoints: (129,529)
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Posts: 23,049
10/31/07 4:26 P

How funny - thought I was on another team's board. That's how my brain is this week. I had been struggling with stress & depression this week, so had also joined a team for depression & dieting, & was thinking I was posting there & thought it ironic that someone else was a caregiver. Good grief. No harm though...LOL! Got to laugh these days. I'm STILL in the right place. But if my post sounded odd, that is why. Jennifer

SparkPoints: (2,175)
Fitness Minutes: (1,925)
Posts: 125
10/31/07 2:28 P

HI Jennifer....My mom is in an Avalon facility close to me in Plano...She developed dementia with the stroke, can get around with walker and assist so I try to get her out as much as possible...I am actually on my way now...would love to visit more with you and others on site...It is nice to know we are not alone and there is support out there....thanks for the warm welcome

SparkPoints: (129,529)
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Posts: 23,049
10/31/07 2:23 P

msg deleted

Edited by: SPARKLES at: 10/31/2007 (16:34)

SparkPoints: (129,529)
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Posts: 23,049
10/31/07 2:21 P

Hi Betty! I'm over in Garland, & my Dad is just recently moved to a small residential skilled care home. I recently joined one of the caregiver teams also, but haven't really become an active poster yet.

I'm not sure whether you're actually new here, or I'm the new one so I just don't know you..lol..but if you ARE new - Welcome!

Jennifer

Edited by: SPARKLES at: 10/31/2007 (16:27)

SparkPoints: (2,175)
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Posts: 125
10/31/07 1:16 P

Hi. I live in Plano. My mother is in a small residential home close to my home. She had a stroke a year and a half ago and it has been quite a long hall. I have several brothers and sisters but as many of you know and have experienced, one of us usually becomes the main caretaker. The role reversal of mother daughter has been a challenge but one that I have come to cherish. I cherish the times we have together and feel badly that my siblings are missing out. At the same time, it can and is very stressful and can take its toll on all of us. I am excited to find a caretaker group on Spark. I would love to be a part of this forum.
Blessings,
Betty

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Posts: 7,245
10/27/07 11:42 A

Welcome to the team, Sparkles!!! We're glad to have you!!
Feel free to join in on any of the threads any time!

SparkPoints: (129,529)
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Posts: 23,049
10/26/07 3:11 P

Hi - I'm Jennifer, 47, Texas, married w/1 grown child,2 grandkids (so far), 2 teenagers(one who is PG), 2 dogs, 1 self-employed husband, & my 91 yo father who I've started helping with the last 6 weeks. I'm trying not to get totally ill from the stress of it all & hoping to find friendship from others here who know what I'm going through. I had looked for a team here a few weeks ago pertaining to this, but wasn't using the right keyword. Then today it hit me "caregivers". Oh yeeeah, I said - I'll try that. And here I am. I've got me Dad moved down to Dallas now, in a small residential skilled care home. He seems happy for now, & seems to be receiving excellent care. But the stress mounts. Will continue the saga later & tell the story maybe on another thread. It's pretty amazing he's still alive after his ordeal!
Thanks for listening/reading. Jennifer C

Posts: 25
9/30/07 4:36 P

Hi all I joined this week and I care for my grandmother full time. She has dementia. I have been caring for her for 3 1/2 years and in that time I have gained 80lbs. I hope to get to know some of you in the future.

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7/25/07 11:33 P

I'm just now getting caught up on my emails,m since i was gone for five days...

I'm with you, vicki-- God never gives us more than we can bear!!
And I also feel that God made me how I am just to be able to take being a caregiver to my husband 9if that makes sense).

Shelly-- Sounds like we have a couple things in common--- I've been married to my hubby, for 9 years, and we don't have children (long story there), and my hubby has Cerebral Palsy!
He uses an electric wheelchair most of the time.

Nice to 'meet ' you!!

Becky

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7/22/07 6:35 P

Thanks Shelly- I believe that God never gives us more than we can bear.

To all caregivers- I hope you all know what a blessing you are. Not everyone can do what we do.

Take care,
Vicki

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Posts: 907
7/19/07 11:29 A

Hello again,
I have meant to write sooner than this, but duty calls, and alot!
Vicki, I tell ya, you have alot to deal with! You must have nerves of steel. I have it easy next to you! You have my total respect and admiration! I think caregivers, are people that have alot of love in their hearts for people that have problems, otherwise they wouldn't do what they do, they don't just pack them up to a nursing home and leave them there by themselves! And not even care about them again! I've seen that happen and it's so sad!

Kathee, I have been told the same thing, about asking for help, and I really can't do that, My husbands sibling have their own lives to contend with, My brother-in-law is a crop adjuster, and travels around the country, and farms around here also and my husbands sister is a artist and makes things with stained glass, but she can't take time off to help, besides, she is getting ready to get a new house built and dealing with that right now. It has gotten a little better that last week here. My mother-in-law is walking with her cane now, at least a little at a time and yesterday she cleaned her own kitchen! I was so proud of her! And it also freed me from cleaning the kitchen!
I did clean the bathrooms and vacumned the carpet in the house, I hurt my foot after I was done, so that was ok. See the reason why it's difficult for me to do some stuff is because I have a mild case of Cerabal Palsy. I am able to walk, and do things, but I just don't do them as fast! Which is fine, but all I have is time! My mom-in-law is a great lady, but she is a bit of a perfectionist, and that is a hard things to deal with, because there is certain things she wants done a certain way. Which is fine, it's just that I'm not her and I can't do them like her! She has learned to let me do things the way I can and lean to live with it. I do get the jobs done, just not done the way she would. Oh well, we help each other! When I need help she is there for me, and vice versa.
Well ladies I have to go for now, have to get ready to go so I can get her ready for her therapy today!
Thanks for the advice, I will keep everything you said in my mind and if I do need help I will try and ask for it! I promise!
Your friend, Shelly

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7/14/07 11:38 A

Shelley:
Stay strong!

I know exactley how you are feeling. I'm 52and have been married 31 years. My mom has lived with us for over 25 of those years. It was one thing when she was independant but for over 10 years I have been her primary caregiver and her legs. There have been many times when I have felt overwhelmed and wondered why me. There are 3 other seniors who count on me as well. I never pictured myself in this place at this age. But if I stop and think hard about it I realize that she has given a great deal in return.
I don't know what I would have done when I had my stroke without her here or how we would have managed financially when I had to give up my business. Because she has been a part of our lives for all of n my childrens lives, they have much more compashion and respect for there elders than many kids.

Is there any way you can make some time for youself. Away from all your responsibilities. Ask your huby for help with this. I have started a schedule with my siblngs so that she is away visiting at least once amonth. I guess I have learned to ask for help!

Kathee

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7/13/07 2:51 P

Shelly- I started this group so that caregivers would have a place to vent, cry, get advice etc., so you don't have to worry about what you post here. I've been a caregiver to many family members over the last 30 years, and never had a place to talk to other caregivers about the stresses etc. that comes along with the job. At one time, I was caregiver to my husband who is a quadriplegic, his grandmother who lived with us and had heart disease, was legally blind and a diabetic, both my parents who had been in a very bad car wreck, and at the time my mother was going through treatment for cancer, and on top of that I had 3 children at home to care for. It was during that time that I wished I had someone to talk to. I was spending every waking minute (and let me tell you, I wasn't getting much sleep... and still don't) doing for others and completely forgot about myself. I am now only caregiver to my husband. He is paralyzed from the chest down, so that in itself is a full time job. And since neither of us are getting any younger, it is gradually getting more and more stressful. Anyway, I'm glad you joined us and hope to see you posting regularly on the group threads and joining us in the weekly challenges. It is a little slow right now but hopefully will pick up soon. Feel free to post anytime you need to vent or want to get/give advice, and we love to hear of short cuts or easier ways you discover to do things.

Bye 4 now,
Vicki

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7/13/07 11:57 A

Hi my name is Shelly.
I'm going to be 40 at the end of this month and been married for 13 years.
We live with my husbands parents and have since we got married. Not by my choice!
I have become a caregiver to my mother-in-law. I never realized I was becoming one until about 5 years ago, and it has become gradually more difficult for her to do things and I guess I was the logical choice to help her. She had arthritis in her left hip and last month on the 21st she had a hip replacement, but it has been a long road since then. She is a real great lady, and she is real kind and generous towards me, but I thought I would of had a family of my own to take care of and a husband that wanted the same things, but Instead I ended up being the housekeeper, clothes washer,and putting them away person, and toenail clipper person and everything else person. I really don't know how I got this glamourous job, but I guess that is why God decided I didn't need kids when I had them to take care of! Go figure.
I don't mean to sound ungreatful, I just am tired! and I wanted a life with more fun in it, all I do is clean and do things for them and have no time for things for myself.
I'm sorry! I really don't mean to complain. I love my husbands family alot and they are there for me when I need them, but I just need to find me again! I think I have lost me!
Well I guess I better go for now and get the upstairs done for MIL.
Thanks for listening to me.
Shelly

current weight: 168.0

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6/29/07 2:08 P

Welcome Kathee3! Glad you found us.

Vicki

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6/29/07 9:50 A

I think you'd be welcome here!!
We'd be glad to have you on our team!!
I look forward to getting to know you.

Take care,

Becky

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6/29/07 8:23 A

Morning: My name is Kathy. I'm 52 married for 31 years. 3 kids: boys 29 & 24 girl 16. My mom (85)has lived with me for over 25 years. She is almost completly wheelchair bound. Can use walker to get to car( maybe 30 ft.) Mom is her only surviving sisters (88)power of attorney. I laugh and say I'mm my mom's legs. (Problem is she's obese) can't excersise.lots of health issues. We had to put her sister in a home. She is very ill. (I'm her legs too!). Here's my problem I'm overweight and have lots of health issues. 2 1/2 yrs ago I had stents put into heart area and 4mths later a stroke. (I was lucky most everything back except computer skills. (Somedays I do not feel Smarter than a 5th grader! lol . Oh well. I'm on long term disability. Have extensive Osteoarthritis, High BP, Fybromyalgia, Sleep apnea and oh depression. Wonder why. I would love to go back to work, but not sure what I could do besides I haven't got the time between careing for my mom and her appt. and my aunt it's like a full time job.

My hubby is wonderful but self employed and works long hrs. I guess when it comes down to it I'm a little stresssssssed out! Is this the site for me?

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6/18/07 7:14 P

New to the team? Please post a little about yourself so that everyone can get to know you and maybe find something they have in common with you.