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SERENEPHOENIX Posts: 7
7/29/13 5:19 P

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Let me back up... She is a little mobile. She is unsteady walking and her leg often hyper extends. Normally, she has a brace to exercise with, but hers broke. With money being tight and her insurance being a pain right now, she has to wait and see a specialist to have one custom made. So, she is wheelchair bound for now.

I think my last dizzy spell (last night) has scared her into reconsidering getting help. I just wish it didn't have to come to that.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.



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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (97,946)
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7/29/13 3:43 P

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Keep that subject on the table for discussion and work it into the conversation gradually, at different times. As any Mother, she just may come around for your well-being. Never give up!
You said that she was not mobile, can she in anyway transfer?
Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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SERENEPHOENIX Posts: 7
7/29/13 12:28 P

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In one breath, she's willing to do that. In the next, she freaks at the idea of anyone coming over. After all, appearance is everything emoticon . I love her, but she really frustrates me. Doesn't help that I have my own medical conditions to deal with (depression plus dizzy spells that are bad enough that not even my neurologist knows where they're coming from). She knows I'm going down, but she almost throws a tantrum when she has to admit to herself that I need help. Le sigh. So goes another day in the wonderful world of caregiving.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.



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7/27/13 7:15 P

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Get MOM to: first--allow someone to come an stay with her when you have an appointment or need to be gone for a length of time. If she becomes comfortable with that you can take it from there. Try an stress that if you are doing everything and get to the point of compromising yourself, who then will take care of her. As with your MOM, my husband was against having someone come in to take care of him. Finally he saw that if I got down, no one would be available to take care of him or I. So now he is talking more about that subject.

As with everything in Caregiving, it takes time and a lot of talking.

Michele

Edited by: MICHELE142 at: 7/27/2013 (19:17)
Michele - Northern Kentucky


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" Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
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SERENEPHOENIX Posts: 7
7/27/13 6:37 P

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The services exist here...but my mom is not interested in using them. She is very particular about outsiders getting involved in her business. As for family...they merely give lip service to offering help. It's really frustrating for me, but doesn't phase her. The family did the same while she cared for my grandparents and great-grandparents. All I have is my younger brother, who can only do so much because he's the only one of us two who can help Mama with the bills. And I have an estranged husband who I'm at the beginning stages of separating from. But that's another can of worms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.



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7/27/13 4:36 P

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Your right about the little one, you have the "trouble two' ahead of you", as well. I heard some moms say that they never get out of those Trouble Twos'.

Do you have any assistance with your MOM, either Family or Home Health Services. If not if the Home Services are available in your area, check them out. You just may be able to get sometime to give you a break in your care giving. Those services are worth a try.

Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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SERENEPHOENIX Posts: 7
7/27/13 2:38 A

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My mom had her first stroke in February 2011. That stroke left her with at least 85% of her movement. Her latest stroke was in November 2012. That one left her unable to walk very well. These days she usually uses a wheelchair to get around.

To say my son is at the age of exploration is an understatement. He's into everything! I always feel like I'm being pulled in two opposite directions. Sigh.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.



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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (97,946)
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7/25/13 6:56 P

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Hi, right back at you! Yes, I would say you have a hectic day every day. How long ago did your Mother have her stroke and what was her residual from the stroke? Your son must be at the age of exploring by now. So, sounds like you have the need for combining the two challenges for a much smoother day. Get back to the team and we will see how we can make your day somewhat smoother.

Keep strong, have a daily laugh and keep smiling!

Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


Warriors In Pink~~Administrator
Classy Quitters~~ Administrator
Caregivers Support ~~ Administrator


" Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
~Ralpd Waldo Emerson



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SERENEPHOENIX Posts: 7
7/25/13 6:11 P

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Hi everyone!

I'm the caregiver for my mom, who is a stroke victim. Add to that caring for my 17 month old son and you can imagine the chaos I deal with.

Any tips for dealing with a now wheelchair-bound mother and a hyperactive toddler is greatly appreciated.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.



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