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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (98,916)
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11/25/12 8:11 P

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Hey, how are you doing? Hope your Thanksgiving an weekend was quiet and peaceful for you.
For a change, back this way was snow free, for years Thanksgiving Day we have had snow. This year however it was in the 50s.

Keep in touch!...........Michele


Michele - Northern Kentucky


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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (98,916)
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11/12/12 12:45 A

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We here in Ky. had a brief 4.? earthquake Saturday an so far, no after shocks. Shaking of glassware and flickering lights around this part. Have heard nothing more about it today.
Other than that excitement it was a peaceful weekend an able to get myself some 'Me Time'.
Ready for the week, first time in a long time.

Hope yours is a good one!

Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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CORRALES_SCOTT's Photo CORRALES_SCOTT SparkPoints: (35,638)
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11/11/12 11:27 P

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We didn't do a whole lot on Saturday, though I managed to get over an hour of exercise! Woo hoo!

Today truly was a blessed Sunday. Great morning at church, I loved the two anthems we sang in choir. Just beautiful. Mid-afternoon we went to see the new James Bond movie, which was really a treat for us both. It's a great film!

Hope you've had a great weekend and are ready for an amazing week ahead!

"Never, never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible." ~ Pearl Bailey


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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (98,916)
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11/10/12 9:32 P

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Your very welcome! Did you both do anything this Saturday?

May your Sunday be Blessed.

Michele........... emoticon

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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" Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
~Ralpd Waldo Emerson



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11/10/12 8:09 P

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Thanks Michele!

"Never, never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible." ~ Pearl Bailey


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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (98,916)
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11/8/12 1:11 A

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Hey, Scott....glad to hear Saturday went well for you both. Hope it continues for you.
Patience (as I always heard) can be a virtue, give your plan time so it gets to be a routine to him. Things will level off for the both of you. Have a good week!

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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" Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
~Ralpd Waldo Emerson



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11/7/12 10:45 P

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Saturday's plan worked well - on Friday evening Wes asked me to look for one of his manuscripts so I agreed to do so, as long as he'd let me take Saturday morning off. And that's what happened. Now I just have to remember to do stuff like that more often. It's good for me, and good for him.

"Never, never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible." ~ Pearl Bailey


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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 SparkPoints: (98,916)
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11/1/12 12:24 A

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Welcome, Scott to the Team! I would have to agree with the previous posts that you do indeed have your hands full. Glad to hear you do have someone coming into the home to help give you a breather during the week. Your idea for your Saturday maybe just what is needed to help him get back to the routine of helping himself no matter the depth. Keep yourself strong and feel free to Vent anytime you may feel the need.

Michele


Edited by: MICHELE142 at: 11/1/2012 (00:25)
Michele - Northern Kentucky


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" Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
~Ralpd Waldo Emerson



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10/31/12 11:58 A

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No, I'm afraid he's not able to go out by himself Dianne. Can't drive, still often needs stand-by for walking. We do have a homemaker who comes in for 5 hours a day, Monday through Thursday. Thankfully, she can take him out to appointments, to his stroke support group, to run errands, etc. That's been a relief since I have almost no paid leave time available any more having used it up mostly attending doctors appointments with him.

At this point, I doubt he'll ever drive again. Even if he gains enough motor skills to operate a car he still has some left side neglect. I can easily envision him just not noticing anything on the left of the car if he were behind the wheel.

JB, thanks - I think that's a win/win scenario too.

"Never, never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible." ~ Pearl Bailey


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ENNAID11's Photo ENNAID11 SparkPoints: (8,153)
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10/31/12 10:39 A

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Hi Scott, I know what you mean about the person we are caring for. I found that if I slowly withdrew help (where help is not really needed) that he became a bit more independant. Can your partner go out on his own? My dh could not so I think that is why they become overly dependant. We are their contact with the "outside" world.

Good luck, & God bless

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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JBINAUSTIN's Photo JBINAUSTIN SparkPoints: (48,816)
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10/31/12 5:10 A

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That's a great idea, turning Saturday into your day off dressing assistance and your shared day out. Everyone wins!

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CORRALES_SCOTT's Photo CORRALES_SCOTT SparkPoints: (35,638)
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10/30/12 1:44 P

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Thanks for the welcome! Things are actually easier these days, though it seems i'm always a little worried about Wes & his slow progress.

I'm afraid I've allowed him to become a bit too dependent in the past few months. He used to get himself out of bed & dressed in the morning with only minimal assistance - a couple of days a week he even would do it without assistance at all, even though that really tires him out. However, in recent weeks he will just stay in bed until I help him get up, get dressed & get going. I've started pointing out to him that he's capable of doing more for himself and he just responds, "You helping me get up is my favorite part of the day." It may be his favorite part, but to me it's becoming one more daily chore that won't get done if i don't do it.

I think I'll tell him I'm taking Saturday morning off - he's going to have to get himself up. Then once he does, I'll reward him by taking him out to see a movie.

"Never, never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible." ~ Pearl Bailey


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MCJULIEO's Photo MCJULIEO Posts: 9,649
10/30/12 11:42 A

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Hang in there, Scott..... we're rooting for you!

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ENNAID11's Photo ENNAID11 SparkPoints: (8,153)
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10/30/12 8:25 A

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Hi Scott - I am sorry to hear about your partner and his mom. You certainly seem to have your hands full.

My dh was sick for 17 years before dying in June of this year. He had prostate cancer (had surgery to remove it. Following that he developed Celiac disease, non absorption of certain foods. We found this out the same day he had a major stroke. Stroke left him with several after effects, including loss of short term memory and week left side. He had to have surgery to move his right eye into a proper position. Two years ago the signs of Celiac started to subside. Unfortunately at the same time he was diagnosed with lung cancer, stage 4. Because of his age and other medical problems there was nother that could be done. He was told that he had 8-12 months to live. He managed to survive 2 years.

This is the first time 32 years that I have not been a caregiver. Prior to my husband I took care of my son who is severely handicapped.

Make sure you take care of yourself as well as your partner to avoid burnout.

Good luck

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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JBINAUSTIN's Photo JBINAUSTIN SparkPoints: (48,816)
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10/29/12 10:55 P

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Hi, Scott. Welcome to the team. You've had a tough couple of years. My husband also had an MCA clot in 2010 and has cognitive issues. SP is a big help to me too.
emoticon

Edited by: JBINAUSTIN at: 10/29/2012 (22:55)
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CORRALES_SCOTT's Photo CORRALES_SCOTT SparkPoints: (35,638)
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10/29/12 9:20 P

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I'm Scott and among other roles i'm also the primary caregiver to my partner Wes, who suffered a MCA ischemic stroke in July of 2010.

In the years prior to his stroke Wes often took Amtrak out to his hometown of Los Angeles to help care for his mother, who had a string of serious physical ailments. In May of 2009, those trips culminated in his mother moving to New Mexico to live with us because her progressive dementia rendered her incapable of living on her own.

Once she was living with us, we quickly realized that our home was too small for all of us. It was also unsafe for her - it was a very old house that wasn't user friendly for someone with unsteady mobility. So we embarked upon a remodeling project, moving into a nearby rental house for the duration. About this time the company I'd worked for for twelve years went out of business & I was out of work for six months.

I continued to care for his mother while he was in hospital and then a rehab nursing facility. About two weeks after his first hospital discharge he was rushed back by ambulance and it was discovered that he'd developed multiple bilateral pulmonary embolisms. More time in another ICU, more time in a sub-acute unit, and more time at the nursing facility.

At that point I was called back to my hometown in Pennsylvania to sit in vigil at my father's deathbed. He'd had Parkinson's for many years, eventually developed dementia, and was unconscious during the final week of his life. Once he'd passed, surrounded by family, I returned to New Mexico, where Wes was discharged home two days after I arrived back.

I continued to care for both Wes & his mom with the assistance of a couple of paid caregivers, moving back into our (finally) finished house for Christmas 2010. Wes' mom stayed with us until May of last year, when burnout and problems with one of the paid caregivers led the entire family to decide that everyone would be better served if she moved into a nearby dementia facility. She enjoyed her last months there, passing away peacefully in her sleep this past February at the ripe age of 90.

So for a little over a year it's been just Wes & i at home. The state of his recovery thus far: his intellect is mostly intact with some cognitive issues, especially when he's tired. He continues to have left side weakness, mostly using a wheelchair to get around though he walks some every day with the use of an arm crutch. He can't use his left arm/hand though that seems to slowly be changing. He can be safely left on his own for a few hours at a time, though he's grown very dependent upon me and would much I were always around.

Throughout most of the foregoing, I've also worked full time for a very understanding group of co-workers, supervisors & managers at the new job I got in February of 2010.

So that's my care-giving reality in a very wordy nutshell. In the past month+ I've found SparkPeople to be a tremendous help both in taking care of myself (something at which I've not always been proficient) and in giving me an infusion of strength and energy that helps with all I'm called upon to do daily.

"Never, never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible." ~ Pearl Bailey


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