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SERENEBEACH's Photo SERENEBEACH SparkPoints: (5,039)
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5/31/10 9:01 P

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I hope it helps. You are probably just so darned capable that they think you don't need help!! Have a good night. (Thanks for the compliment on my name...I love living in Florida and the beach gives me a great sense of serenity and peace when I go there.)

Don't worry, be happy!


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SHAPNUP's Photo SHAPNUP Posts: 6,587
5/31/10 8:52 P

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Thanks, SereneBeach (love that name!). That's a great idea. Maybe I'm expecting them to read my mind, or maybe they think I don't need help, cuz we really don't discuss it. Never thought of that - just expected them to show up. I'll start making a list and we'll see what happens...

SERENEBEACH's Photo SERENEBEACH SparkPoints: (5,039)
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5/31/10 8:44 P

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Wow! I'm exhausted for you. You sure have your hands full. Have you called a family meeting and expressed to your siblings that you need help? Maybe you all could sit down and list every task that has to be done regarding the PU's. Perhaps that would help them to see the enormity of the day-to-day stuff. Then, you could ask for them to take on some of these on a regular basis...like mowing the lawn, etc. You may have heard this one before but, like the flight attendants on airplanes say...if you're traveling with someone who needs your assistance, and the oxygen masks drop down..put your own on first because you can't help them if you don't have any oxygen!! That one has always stuck with me. You need some oxygen! Hang in there and I'm glad you joined us.

Don't worry, be happy!


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SHAPNUP's Photo SHAPNUP Posts: 6,587
5/31/10 7:06 P

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Hi,

My name is Christi. I'm divorced with no children. I live across the street from my parents. My dad has Alzheimer's. My mom is crippled from a head-on collision back in the early 1990's.

Dad still remembers who we are and can speak, but he can't express himself (feelings, can't find the word) or remember what he had for lunch. He has a hard time reading and struggles to follow the plot of a movie. He mixes up his medications and has had a few inappropriate language episodes in public.

My mom was hospitalized for 3 months with her injuries and had multiple surgeries. She is a trooper, though. The doctors said she wouldn't survive the night, that they would have to amputate her arm, and that she would never walk again. She's one determined lady, and none of their predictions came true. She does suffer from a lot of pain and has fibromyalgia and neuropathy. Last fall she had back surgery, which reduced some of her pain and gave her more mobility.

Even though I don't live with the parental units (my nickname for them), I see them or speak to them nearly every day. I take my dad on errands to give my mom a break. My mom is relying on me more and more lately for all kinds of things, which ups the stress level. From ordering something for her on the computer to helping her balance her checkbook to making household decisions, to running errands (dad can't drive alone anymore). I understand she is under a lot of stress. They both are, and I love them both dearly.

But some days THEY STRESS ME OUT TOTALLY!!!

I also have a stressful job, and am actually working 3 jobs at work right now, not doing any of them well.

I have 2 siblings who each live an hour away, but they don't show much interest in helping out. My sister offered to come and stay in my house to allow me to go on a vacation for one week, which is nice, but that's not the kind of help I (we) need. It would be nice if they could come over on the weekend and mow the grass once in a while, or help with home projects, or just take the PU's out to eat or something.

Anyway, enough whining, although you will hear more of that from me, I'm sure. This is the only place I can do it! Tomorrow morning my mom has a knee revision surgery. We have to leave the house at 4:15 to get to the hospital by 5:45. This is just one more doctor visit in a never-ending series. Please don't misunderstand me. I love them and I want to help them and I'm so glad I can be there for them. It just wears me out, ya know?

Thanks for listening.

Edited by: SHAPNUP at: 6/2/2010 (15:50)
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