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SASSYJAY's Photo SASSYJAY SparkPoints: (40,545)
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8/5/11 12:15 A

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You were probably ahead of your time, Popeye.

Try, try again. You need a new career to keep your heart beating!

~Maggie

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8/4/11 11:58 P

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A friend who did stand-up comedy used to tell me I should do stand-up comedy.

I tried it but couldn't do the gig. My sarcasm and jokes were over the heads of 2/3 of the audience. The few people who laughed in the audience were joined by the other comics on the bill, but the owner just had a frown on his face.

After the second night, I was asked not to come back.

After two nights, I couldn't work for the stupid SOB anyway. Sarcasm slid by him so fast I would have had put it on the tip of a spear and driven it into his chest.

I had insulted him at least a dozen times in two nights and he didn't even have a fishing net.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
8/3/11 3:56 P

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wow ! she does tricks too !!!!

wow we should had known you cant laugh & drink tea at the same time.
lol

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GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (186,391)
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8/2/11 10:17 P

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You are very very very bad..... I laughed so hard i almost spit up my tea through my nose! emoticon



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8/2/11 10:14 P

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Me?

I don't have old bait. Old bait is only good for catfish - oh wait, I do live very close to the Missouri River and there are some spots with BIG channel cats.

Never mind, though, I still don't have any old bait.

I repeat - I don't have any old bait.

No switches? I can cut some fine ones off of my Giant Rose of Sharon. When swung, first you hear a sort of whistling sound - the next thing you here is sort of a swithsh as it cuts across the backs of legs. Finally there is a loud, piercing sound that some might call a scream.

I believe it is just an acknowledgement of wrongdoing on the part of the switchee.


Edited because you need an ear to hear. Here, there or anywhere.

Edited by: POPEYETHETURTLE at: 8/2/2011 (22:24)
"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

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8/2/11 6:51 P

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since when did you EVER keep your opinion to yourself! emoticon

besides it is no fun that way! Popeye can take it.... emoticon



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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
8/2/11 3:53 P

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emoticon

this switching around is so confusing
I dont know if I should comment or keep my opinions to myself....lol

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8/1/11 8:20 P

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now he is trying to make nice again! LOL It is the old bait and switch routine! WE are on to you! emoticon

Edited by: GARDENCHRIS at: 8/1/2011 (20:20)


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8/1/11 5:02 P

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ALL Sarcastic's should be acknowledged for their brilliance and congratulated. At a minimum of once daily. If you awed someone with your sarcasm 10-12 times a day, you should be acknowledged 10-12 times. There is no upper limit.

Plus you get bonus points if you are sarcastic in your dreams!













"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
8/1/11 1:44 P

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WOW
NOW I'M MORE CONFUSED THEN BEFORE.
Did Popeye just tell us off or congradulate us for our wit!!!
lol emoticon

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7/31/11 10:12 P

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Popeye! You wear us out with your rambling word count! emoticon emoticon



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7/31/11 9:48 P

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Oh, rats!

COURTMAGOO, I completely forgot to welcome you.

Welcome to our team. Some are wits, and others only half so - we are, all of us, sarcastic.
I believe it's a special calling so that others (who aren't nearly as sharp as we) can be exposed to the brilliant wit and control of vocabulary that is denied them in otherwise dull surroundings.

SARCASM: sar - caz - em, n, A blinding, lightning-like flash of words that pierces the shield of average human experience.
Sarcastic: sar caz tic, n, 2. Brilliance personified in those who give light to an otherwise dull and miserly existence.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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7/31/11 9:14 P

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Well, the light is burned out in our closet. My DW's clothes are on one side and my clothes are on the other. Which side did you say you found the outfit on?

I do have a birthday coming up soon and it would be just like my DW to try and surprise me with something ..... "new".

BTW, the proper term for those with my heritage is "Scot's". Our family plaid is a very old one. Our Clan is Chatten and our clan banner is a Wildcat, Rampant, with the phrase "Touch nae the Cat, But a Glove". Our war cry, just before engaging the enemy is "The Claw the Eyes" (really, it sounds so much more impressive in the Gaelic vernacular). The closest United States equivalent would be the Snake, Rampant, with the phrase, "Don't Tread on Me".

You may think you have some idea of what's under the plaid, but I'm certain you have nae clue as to what's in the Sporran.

Our clan first took lands in Scotland and became a Confederation of Clans, with the Chatten Clan as the leadership clan. Clan Chatten suffered badly after the 1745 rising (when the British marched into the Highlands, they killed every Scot's man, woman and child they encountered (the men of Clan Chatten -from 14 to the eldest). As they protected the women and children who were moving to a safe location, the men were killed and mutilated (some were later gathered, stacked and burned). The Chatten's have a long memory; their feelings towards Great Britain are as understandable is Native Americans to most anglo's). Through previous inter-clan marriage, then necessity, the clan was eventually merged into The MacKintosh clan and the MacKintoshes became the dominant clan.

No there's not a thread devoted to me, unless you've started a new team. Nope, no new team with Popeye in the title. You could have titled the team with a misleading name, such as "Flip the Shell" or some other less imaginative name. I have my Spark Teams set to notify me if there are any new threads - or didn't y'all know how to do that? Well, of course you did - it just slipped your mind. Sort of like a bad clutch (guy definition - not the girl definition).

emoticon

I couldn't find an emoticon with thumbs in the ears, fingers waggling, saying "PLUTTHH!!" (tis a Scot's raspberry).


Edited to add the "PLUTTHH!!" sentence.

CAUTION! For those of you who have the merest inclination to "get back at me" because I "got back at you", BEWARE. If I can't bedazzle you with brilliance I can certainly baffle you with buffalo shyt - and if all else fails, I can bury you with word count.

Since there are so many of you, I am waving the white flag - not so much to surrender as to call a truce. I know that friends can sometimes get carried away, so I will carry half the blame if y'all will share the rest.

Jeez! Half the blame is staggering, /\|\/| to the left,\/|/\| to the right, and SO ON, and So On, and so on and .. .. . Thus, into the swamp.

PS: Chaps provide no protection on the back side, so maybe a specially designed Kevlar?

Edited by: POPEYETHETURTLE at: 7/31/2011 (21:37)
"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (186,391)
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7/31/11 8:20 A

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Popeye.... you have some explaining to do!! emoticon emoticon



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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
7/31/11 8:14 A

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udercover & a pink mini with maybe bare or pink undies
adding all this together

wow this is getting interesting

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GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (186,391)
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7/31/11 7:46 A

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well you do know he is retired military.... and he is doing undercover work... yep! emoticon



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SASSYJAY's Photo SASSYJAY SparkPoints: (40,545)
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7/30/11 11:15 P

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True...he's probably been reading all along, but just doesn't want to "out" himself.

emoticon

~Maggie

Co-Leader of "Sarcastics Unlimited" www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=4459



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7/30/11 10:28 P

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well... don't you think he lurks now and then .... just to see if it is safe??



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7/30/11 10:23 P

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Now...who's gonna alert Popeye that there's an entire thread about him? Completely based on conjecture...he'll love it!

~Maggie

Co-Leader of "Sarcastics Unlimited" www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=4459



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7/30/11 10:20 P

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bare....... like those scotts! emoticon



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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
7/30/11 9:03 P

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I'm guessing he had a pair of pink undies to go with that mini
Or did you go bare.

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COURTMAGOO's Photo COURTMAGOO SparkPoints: (1,194)
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7/30/11 11:23 A

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emoticon ...and gents. Oops!

Although I'd never turn down a picture of a guy in a dress.

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."

skinnycherries.blogspot.com/




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7/30/11 10:13 A

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I would pay to see that ......and it would PERMANENTLY allow Popeye to say whatever he wants...... um .... maybe not! emoticon



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7/30/11 1:13 A

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doh--she cold-busted you popeye! emoticon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Sh@untay*

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. -- John Burroughs, essayist and naturalist

Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson. -- Alan Cohen, American businessman

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact. --Don Williams, Jr., American novelist and poet


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SASSYJAY's Photo SASSYJAY SparkPoints: (40,545)
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7/30/11 12:48 A

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Oooh! Mustn't call Popeye a lady...although I'd put money on him looking adorable in a dress.

We let him hang out with us, because he is one of the few males around who understands that there are two human languages--male and female.

He doesn't try to speak female, mind you, he just acknowledges the language differences.

(I'm just flattering him, hoping to convince him to post that photo of him in the pink school-girl mini-skirt I know he has in the back of his closet.)
emoticon

~Maggie

Co-Leader of "Sarcastics Unlimited" www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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COURTMAGOO's Photo COURTMAGOO SparkPoints: (1,194)
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7/29/11 11:42 P

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Hey if they take a chunk out that's less I have to lose! emoticon

Haha thanks for the welcome ladies :)

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."

skinnycherries.blogspot.com/




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7/29/11 11:28 P

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either leather pants or some CHAPS...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Sh@untay*

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. -- John Burroughs, essayist and naturalist

Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson. -- Alan Cohen, American businessman

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact. --Don Williams, Jr., American novelist and poet


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POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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7/28/11 11:17 P

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Your "Sharp Tongue, Soft Bum could be a disability here. You may want to invest in some good leather pants.

SOME people on this site tend to look for the soft places to bite, and they've bit more that one person right on the ask.

But, we are really glad to have you here.

emoticon

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

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GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (186,391)
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7/28/11 2:59 P

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Another "lurker" out of the shadows!!!

You'll have to wow us with what your spine is made of!!

Welcome and let it rip! emoticon



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7/28/11 2:52 P

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Hey all, I'm Courtney and I think I've found the perfect SP team. I have a love for sarcasm, the humor of it, and spewing sharp retorts as quick as I can. I look forward to meeting you all and definitely welcome any followers to my new weight loss blog [skinnycherries - link below].

Thanks for such a fun team!

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."

skinnycherries.blogspot.com/




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