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TOPIC:   Black humour... 


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POPEYETHETURTLE
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5/8/10 10:10 P

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Mostly?

That is correct, but the cavalry is just a Spark mail away.

Besides, when I encounter squirrly man-bashing, I return it with caring and compassionate reasoning.

So there!

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

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LODESTONE
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5/8/10 9:16 P

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Oooooooh, dish, girlfriend!

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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AUSSIEFLOSS
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5/8/10 8:37 P

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So this is the black humour thread, and I decided to come here to ask you guys a question. So since we are mostly all women here, can I start a Manbashing thread? It would give me an outlet, just like the Emotional Eaters have a thread for venting. Just this thread would allow us girls to manbash, but maybe lovingly, maybe, sometimes... hmmm is this acceptable on SP? What do you think?

~~Aussie~~


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POPEYETHETURTLE
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4/13/10 11:11 P

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You can't?

I thought the fix started with Dog. D o g, dog.

The second lesson was Cat. C a t, cat

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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MRE1956
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4/13/10 5:29 P

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Ron "Tater Salad" White said it best....."you can't fix stupid!"




Don't wait for inspiration to come to you - take action, and the inspiration will come! - Gilad

If you don't love yourself, how are you going to love somebody else? - RuPaul

I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! - the late Peter Finch as Howard Beale, "Network"

The time is always right to do what is right. - Dr. Martin Luther King

You've got to work at living. Ninety-nine and nine-tenths of Americans work at dying! - Jack LaLanne (RIP


LODESTONE
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4/12/10 6:51 P

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Someone's got a joint and NOT sharing? That's a real Sheesh!!!!!

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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ANNARTISAN
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4/12/10 6:44 P

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Don't bogart that joint, my friend.



If you're being run out of town, get out in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.


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BAK2BASIKS
BAK2BASIKS's Photo Posts: 37
4/12/10 6:31 P

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Would smoke signals be more to your liking? Then you can respond when you are readyemoticon



Life is tough, it is tougher if you are stupid-John Wayne


ANNARTISAN
ANNARTISAN's Photo Posts: 164
4/12/10 6:19 P

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Well, they WOULD be (started) if you people would quit chattering at me! Sheesh!

emoticon

If you're being run out of town, get out in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.


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LODESTONE
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4/12/10 6:10 P

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So, Missy, are the dreaded taxes done yet? Har!

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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ANNARTISAN
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4/12/10 6:04 P

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Not to worry. She's more of a Keystone Kops type than a Klu Klux Klanner.

Sparkers, unite! Take back the K words!

If you're being run out of town, get out in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.


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LODESTONE
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4/12/10 5:59 P

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WTF?

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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BAK2BASIKS
BAK2BASIKS's Photo Posts: 37
4/12/10 5:51 P

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Nope popeye, basketball is not my thing, but I do love korndogs, Kanadians, kamp fires and the occasional kool one, does that kount?

Life is tough, it is tougher if you are stupid-John Wayne


POPEYETHETURTLE
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4/12/10 5:50 P

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No rapture until at least 2012.

Some Indians gave us the answer to that quiz some time ago.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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ANNARTISAN
ANNARTISAN's Photo Posts: 164
4/12/10 5:47 P

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I'm still trying to figure out what signs I've missed. Usually my Aunt emails me when she is expecting the Rapture, and I haven't heard from her in months.

If you're being run out of town, get out in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.


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POPEYETHETURTLE
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4/12/10 5:31 P

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BAK2BASIKS,

Wow. From your name I bet you're related to Duke's Basketball Coach, Mike Krenxz . . . Krysfshk . . . Yeshevski, right?

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

Co-leader, Conservatives/Republicans sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=4683


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BAK2BASIKS
BAK2BASIKS's Photo Posts: 37
4/12/10 1:26 P

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What's your sign should be rephrased to how many signs have you been given? This would shorten the courtship for many.

Life is tough, it is tougher if you are stupid-John Wayne


LODESTONE
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4/12/10 11:21 A

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Know what you mean about Bill Engvall. Saw him onstage twice. Great shows- laughing till you da*n near pee your pants. Some of that stuff you just can't make up! It's all around us.

Gives a whole new meaning to the old pick up line- "What's your sign?"

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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BAK2BASIKS
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4/12/10 11:02 A

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Bill Engvall is my hero. I believe some people have keychain versions of their signs because they have too many to carry around all day.

Life is tough, it is tougher if you are stupid-John Wayne


ANNARTISAN
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4/11/10 12:01 A

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Oh, not to worry! It's an exceedingly rare occurrence. :)

If you're being run out of town, get out in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.


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POPEYETHETURTLE
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4/10/10 10:37 P

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You know, if that happens too often (your brain over-ruling your tongue), you are subject to immediate re-call, plus tarring and feathering, due to Treason Against Sarcasm?

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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idual.asp?gid=4683


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ANNARTISAN
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4/9/10 6:29 P

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Do I see a gmail-chat search in my future? (I so said it first, Missy!)

Well, CRAP! The Gmail chat search supports your claim, Trish. I was just sure I said it first. (I know I THOUGHT it when I heard she had died, but apparently that was one of the rare times I let my brain overrule my tongue.)

Edited by: ANNARTISAN at: 4/9/2010 (18:35)
If you're being run out of town, get out in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.


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IRISHTRISHIE
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4/9/10 6:11 P

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I was on a bus in Dublin and a dwarf got on the bus and a man stood up and offered the little guy his seat, well the dwarf went off on one, going mental at the man and just being plain rude. When the little guy finished his tantrum the man said "Does Snow White and the other 6 dwarf's know where you are right now?"


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IRISHTRISHIE
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4/9/10 6:03 P

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Oi I was the one who said THAT about MJ & FF to you last year!!


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ANNARTISAN
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4/9/10 5:33 A

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This isn't at all current, and I'm sure you've heard it before, but when Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both died on the same day last year, I wanted SO badly to post on the forum I was then active in "OMG, Farrah is gonna be rolling in her grave. MJ just upstaged her!" but I didn't *dare* lest I wanted the wrath of a hundred middle-aged women and their home-schooled kids upon my head.

That's the only black humour I have in my bag at the moment, but I'm going to try to finagle my friend IrishTrishie to join our group and she'll be able to fill pages.

If you're being run out of town, get out in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.


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LODESTONE
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3/13/10 8:34 P

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Much to our dismay, we have our little moments, but civility can do wonders for disconcerting flaming a$$holes. Makes 'em wonder what I'm up to. I try not to be deliberately hurtful- just slide in a zinger when they aren't looking.

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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POPEYETHETURTLE
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3/13/10 7:59 P

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Hmmmm. . . . .

I think most people would agree with you, but for me, when I use salt with lemon, lime (with Mexican beer or Tequila), or grapefruit, it cuts the bitter and turns it a touch sweet.

The ONLY people who might say I'm a bit sweet are my two granddaughters and grandson.

But they'd even say there's the taste of steel underneath, like if they put their tongue on it.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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LODESTONE
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3/13/10 4:57 P

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I'm willing to bet this whole team is highly in favor of Bill Engvall's "Here's Your Sign" philosophy. Stupid exists everywhere and knows no discriminatory bounds. I'd like to think I'm a twist of lemon with a dash of salt!

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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POPEYETHETURTLE
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3/12/10 11:59 P

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I've been gone for a while (mostly it was just mental).

Recently, I found someone who had a description of wit that I liked.

"Wit is educated insolence."

It's been running around my head for awhile (about 23" per lap; but it's not my lap lap, that's much bigger around), and I have decided, for me, that if the quote is so, and it made such an impact I'm sure it is, then Sarcasm should be:

Wit, Very Dry, shaken, not stirred and served with a twist (lemon or lime - optional). Neither olives nor onions need apply.

If you are an olive or an onion - don't even think about replying.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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LODESTONE
LODESTONE's Photo Posts: 2,735
3/11/10 3:46 P

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I'm new and been lurking a wee bit, but I thought motorcyle riders were called job security????

Hi, my name is Sharon!


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TIBURONA
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2/20/10 7:40 P

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During my Ph.D. pursuit days there was a incident at another California university where a graduate student removed the head of his advisory committee with the use of a firearm (i.e. caused him to suffer trans-occipital implant.)

Although a pacifist, I thought it was kind of humorous, in that I could see the same happening to a few faculty at my Alma Mater.

Other folks just thought I was nutty, but hey, I'm not bitter...

Edited by: TIBURONA at: 2/20/2010 (19:47)
From the depth of need and despair, people can work together, can organize themselves to solve their own problems and fill their own needs with dignity and strength.

-César Chávez



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ROSEANNALYNN
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4/4/09 7:39 P

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You been hanging around my DH?!? He has some "issues" with the ID10T errors-mostly the people doing them! If you don't know how to use a computer...



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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LOEGAIRE
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4/4/09 7:15 P

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Sounds like the time a bunch of us techies got lectured about logging trouble tickets with things like

ID 10 T error
PEBKAC (Problem exists between keyboard and chair)
GUI issue (Gross user incompetence)
RUSAKWR (Replace user, strike any key when ready)

Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
***
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience usually comes from bad judgement.
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Live each day as if it's your last, because one day you'll be right.
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Stop whining and DO something!
***
I have no shift key and I must scream.


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ROYALETBONE
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4/4/09 4:44 P

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I had a bud who worked EMT- they called people driving motorcycles with no helmets 'organ donors'.
Good reminder as spring comes and the roar of the muffler calls.

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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ROSEANNALYNN
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4/4/09 2:28 P

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Those are great!

Rose


Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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JAYMURZ
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4/4/09 2:23 P

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emoticon

Why yes, as a matter of fact I do blog:
bunnyboysbloggedyblather.blog
spot.com



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DAN_ODEA
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4/4/09 1:33 P

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No posts in a couple of weeks. Awww. I guess this is a touchy subject; nobody wants to admit they laugh at others' pain. I can understand that; maybe this one is better.

To: All EMS Personnel
From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following:

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not trans-occipital implants.

7) The homeless are not "urban outdoors men," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.

Edited by: DAN_ODEA at: 4/4/2009 (13:34)
Knowledge is for sharing... except for your password!

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DAN_ODEA
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3/11/09 9:55 A

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I have a TON of black humor jokes. The one I use most often is this one: "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

Black humor is a normal human reaction to something emotionally destructive. By making a joke out of a horrible tragedy, the psyche is able to handle feelings which would otherwise overwhelm it.

Knowledge is for sharing... except for your password!

Proud ember of Red Sox Nation wfl.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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ANDRAXIA
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3/8/09 3:21 A

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Rena,
I knew there was a reason I wanted to go to Denmark! Heh...when getting my BA I lost 70 pounds. About fifty pounds into that I started dating a doctor and when I hit 70 he admitted to me that I reminded him of someone he had once dated who was much heavier. We met freshman year befiore I lost the weight and after losing 50 pounds I ran into him again. He brought it up one night as we were falling asleep. I just rolled my eyes and said "Well, that might be a coincisence but..." He laughed and said I was nothing like the fat broad he'd dated so I asked her name. He said he wasn't sure but it sounded so similar to mine that he thought he should bring it up because if I were her it wouldn't work eventually. I just raised my eyebrows and he laughed and said he forgot I was the girl he met from Denmark. I was in the habit of just not replying to things he said that I didn't care to hear.
We lasted a few more months, during which he gave me contadictory answers to everything. Now I look exactly like I did before I lost the weight and am trying to find his card to just stop by and say hi.

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"We could have save the earth but we were too damned cheap."- Kurt Vonnegut



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CERBERUS_ARSTD
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1/1/09 5:51 A

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Rena,
emoticon
I am guessing when you speak of "greasing you up" you mean being unduly nice. Well I understand what you mean. I sometimes take a 2nd look at guys who wouldn't give me the time of day before.

Personally I believe sarcasm is a lost art in todays politically correct world. It is also hard not to retort to countless dumb ass questions that I face at work every day.




Linda

Are dogs man's best friend or are we theirs?



POPEYETHETURTLE
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1/1/09 12:03 A

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Rena,

I think you'll like it here, we drink wry whiskey and eat wry bread.

(as opposed to rye, which in English makes this funny - I don't know what happens when it's translated)

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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ROYALETBONE
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12/31/08 10:27 P

ROYALETBONE's SparkPage
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Rena, so way nice to have you join our team- can we say, inspirational, awesome, way smart fine woman? Now, lets see just how crazy you can get. Fun, fun.
I first read Rena's story about a year ago- team members, get ye into her pages, and see what hard work can accomplish. Woa!
A Goddess of weight loss accomplishment.

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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JAYMURZ
JAYMURZ's Photo Posts: 8,718
12/31/08 6:40 A

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Hmmm... "grease me up" might be understood differently here in the States? LOL! I mean, if you grease my stick, why is so rough? LOL!! /me runs n hides...

Edited by: JAYMURZ at: 12/31/2008 (06:42)
Why yes, as a matter of fact I do blog:
bunnyboysbloggedyblather.blog
spot.com



Supposed Leader; Where'd I Park My Spaceship?
teams.sparkpeople.com/whereismyspac
eship



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RENA1965
RENA1965's Photo Posts: 17,878
12/30/08 11:32 P

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Black humour (sarcasm) is a national sport in denmark.. Out in the redneck areas, if you don't use it people wonder what your greasing up to them for lol..
I use it more and more, love it and it is here to say in my vocabulary lol..
I have lost 176lbs and a leopard doesn't change its spots, so people whom grease up to me get the rough end of my sarcastic stick. They never treated me good when fat, so why start now lol. My ADHD temper doesn't make life easier either lol..

"I shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me. Or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsbility. Win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny."
-google first. ask questions later
¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) ¸.·*¨)
(***Rena ***)
(¸.·´~ (¸.·* ~ (¸.·*


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