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Posts: 4 2/8/10 6:40 A
Following three days of eating with wild abandon and no exercise, I'm ready to buckle myself back into the wagon.
I have learned that what I eat = how I feel about myself. I eat crappy food - I drink alcohol (to forget what I just ate). I eat more because now I just plain don't care.
Bad food/drink makes (for me) a bad body image. I slump over, my belly flops around and I definately do not feel sexy. Enough of that . . . enough.
Today - good food = good fuel = great results. Today is a new day. Day 1 of the new me.
Fitness Minutes: (12,681) Posts: 35 2/8/10 6:26 A
So upset with myself. Why is it that for a week or two I am doing what I am supposed to be doing for a healthy lifestyle. After two weeks I regress to bad eating habits-btw which are far worse than when I started Spark People. I want to achieve something for once in my life all on my own. Every time I try I fail. What's the point?
Pounds lost: 28.0
Posts: 709 2/8/10 5:57 A
Just what I need. My husband and I separated for about two months over the holidays and now he is back, mostly due to financial reasons. We were no where near ready we had just started marriage counseling. Now I am back to feeling like I am walking on egg shells. I feel like everything I do is wrong. Which stresses me out completely.
Then on top of it all, he totally sabotages my efforts to get healthy. Brings home crap food and brings it out or leaves it out so I am totally tempted. The other thing he does is eat like 4 to 6 large bowls of cereal every night. He is diabetic and some how thinks cereal is OK. Maybe if it was high fiber low sugar, but I don't think Lucky Charms and Captain Crunch fits that category.
So when I go to have some milk or put it in my coffee there is never any left. Even my kids are getting pissed. When I try to talk to him about this he gets mad and blames the kids on drinking the milk. But when he was not living with us, we always had enough and now I am buying twice as much as before.
Thanks for listening!
Pounds lost: 37.0
Posts: 77 2/8/10 5:20 A
WTF why am I only sleeping a few hours!!! I mean I went to sleep at 11:30 and woke up at 3:30!!! I have to get more sleep than this, or I am going to start getting sick!!! Come on, Kim just close your eyes and get back to sleep for another 3 hours!!!
Spiritually Guided With Hopes and Dreams
Pounds lost: 2.0
Posts: 23 2/8/10 5:00 A
I had a really bad day today nutrition-wise. I know that nobody can MAKE me eat, but I have someone in my life who is also a food addict. It seems like no matter when I'm around him - we always end up eating the wrong foods. He hates vegetables, fruits...but I realize I need to put myself and my health first.
Pounds lost: 6.0
Posts: 90 2/8/10 3:06 A
I don't know if I'm replying to one person or everybody but I guess I'll find out. For several months I've been off of SP due to my heavy work schedule, late hours, driving to another city, driving 2 hours most weekends to check on my parents and volunteering as a community mentor with my "leftover" time. Not sure my example is so great right now. My son bought a "family gift" with a weight program that tells me my physical age is 20 years older than I really am. It also tells me that I gained 20 pounds in 7 days. I didn't know that was possible! And of course, it tells me that I'm obese. Well, that's just lovely. Screeeeeeeeeeeaaaammm!!! Back to ground zero. I did go shopping today for good, healthy food and some vitamin B100 for energy. That freakin' Wii is going to stop telling me "I'm not strong enough yet" and "You failed".
'I'm Not Alone Ministries'
"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold." (Proverbs 22:1 NIV)
Pounds lost: 4.0
Fitness Minutes: (37,815) Posts: 355 2/8/10 2:15 A
Hi everyone, I´m very thankful for having the opportunity to have a place to vent. Although I know all the basics and more than the basics actually about dieting and how to keep the weight under control. I must say that there are relationship, work, family.... etc factors that make the losing weight journey far harder. Again, thanks for lettling us to post here and have the chance to vent.
Edited by: ZENALIA at: 2/8/2010 (02:17)
http://spanishatmyplace.webs.com/ -------------- How long do you try? Until!
Fitness Minutes: (26,243) Posts: 3,073 2/8/10 1:14 A
Thanks shrinkwrap62 I really appreciate a place to vent. I am mindful of trying to stay positive about this journey and that is one of the keys to its success, however that does not stop the feelings that arise at different times that led me to overeat for lots of different reasons in the past. At present I am trying to swallow feelings of resentment and feeling misunderstood and unappreciated in my work situation. I was in a situation where I felt I was completely railroaded. I stood up to authority in a way I haven't done in the past and make a daily commitment not to eat over it as that will only weaken me and help talk me out of standing up for myself which I need to keep doing.
Make a Difference Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up. Of all the things you can make in life, remember you make all the difference in your life.
current weight: 144.2
Fitness Minutes: (8,845) Posts: 1,222 2/8/10 12:52 A
I am so sick of dealing with this stupid compulsion! It's like my dark passenger - always dragging me back to old and destructive habits. I'm successfully fighting it now but I'm scared I'll end up right where I started if I can't rid myself of it.
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Starting Measurements: Waist: 35.5" Hips: 46"
Current Measurements: Waist: 27" Hips: 37"
current weight: 166.0
Posts: 295 2/7/10 11:18 P
Why is it that when ANYONE has a party they don't know how to have at least ONE healthy item on the menu. I know, i know, I should bring it myself but between my son and all the crap that goes with us I can't put one more thing in my hands. AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
The future is no place to place your better days. (Dave Matthews Band)
current weight: 201.0
Posts: 6 2/7/10 11:00 P
Yesss, a place to vent! I finally realized that I was overeating due to mostly boredom (how can that happen when I'm so busy?).
Pounds lost: 0.0
Posts: 134 2/7/10 10:39 P
I've been feeling this cloud of emotion that has been making me want to overeat. I feel like it's a million things just simmering. I feel tired and frustrated and alone and food has just been so good for that in the past. I feel like I have to be in control, like I'm up against a wall. It just seems like no one is there to listen. Blahhhh. I'm sick of feeling like I'm held to this standard. I know this isn't a coherent thread, but, of course, I'm just venting.
current weight: 151.0
Posts: 591 2/7/10 10:32 P
Tracking food sucks. Watching what I eat sucks. Learning what I can and can't eat. Getting frustrated from learning that what I think I can eat, I end up not being able to. Getting frustrated that right now I want to eat and I have already eaten more calories than I'm alloted in a day. I just want to eat. I want lots of chocolate. I want a huge m&m blizzard from dairy queen. It is getting frustrating when I go out to eat with people and they eat whatever they want, and I am eating salad. It also REALLY gets on my nerves when I actually do tell people that I am trying to change my eating habits and yet they still try to force food on me. They still try and get me to eat stuff I can't have. SERIOUSLY???? Is it all really worth it?
Women are Angels, and when someone breaks our wings.... we simply continue to fly......... on a broomstick. We are flexible.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34.
current weight: 365.0
Fitness Minutes: (22,798) Posts: 1,762 2/7/10 10:20 P
I didn't do too bad today, 300 calories over. But why on earth does a 53 year old woman STILL overeat when she's around Mom???? What is my problem? I love Mom, and I spend most Sundays either at her house for dinner, or she is here...we alternate...I have to face this every week...it is my most difficult time. There, I said it!!
"I'm not looking to be perfect, just the best me that I can be."
Pounds lost: 1.0
Posts: 40 2/7/10 10:11 P
i just want to begin by saying, that i am so happy to have this place to put into words what i have been feeling. i am hoping that actually saying out loud and actually putting it out there not only for my eyes will be huge in my healing. i hide from myself and no longer wish to live in fear. i want to change, i want to live authentically. i eat like an addict, i lie about my food consumption. i cant eat in front of others. i have so many issues. i finally want to be able to come clean with my behaviors and have a healthy relationship with food.
Edited by: YOGINI123 at: 2/7/2010 (22:22)
Posts: 1,210 2/7/10 10:02 P
My daughters & I are all in a place where none of us want to go to work. We have different jobs, work in different locations, but it all boils down to trouble with management. My dread of returning to work expressed itself this weekend in my overeating. Sadly, I didn't find this thread until now. I know that's not an excuse, but it's what happened. I've overeaten both today & yesterday. I have to get a handle on this.
current weight: 197.0
Fitness Minutes: (27,426) Posts: 1,348 2/7/10 9:39 P
Great idea, i vented in a thread i created a few days ago about my nightmare ordeal at work. truth be told i am still upset about it and i so don't want to go to work tomorrow but that would give her power over me and i can not make that mistake again. but i will be going over to my boss's office early to speak with him about it as i will not take that abuse from her again and the guys at work said they will handle her if she comes in or calls which is good i want to avoid any confrontation with her as my stomach ulcers are kickin in high gear enough. well going to watch rest of super bowl hope my team wins and go to bed and try to sleep this anxious feeling off.
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bath- that's why we reccommend it daily"
current weight: 197.6
Posts: 26 2/7/10 9:36 P
I need a safe place to vent. I just ended a relationship, that probably wasn't very good for me. I should be happy, but I not. I just felt so alone I was willing to put up with some things, that showed that he did not value me. I ended up gaining 20 lbs. after I had lost 60. Every time he rejected me or put me down, I would eat and cry. So its over as long as I don't call him back, but I still find myself eating when I think of him. I hate that. I can be a very independent woman, but somehow I forgot my worth. I need to stop eating and start working out again. Thanks for listening.
Posts: 4,472 2/7/10 9:25 P
What a great idea and a great name A Safe Place !!!!
I feel so guilty about being sad My life is easy money is ok we are retired I have a problem daughter but we are never hungry and we have a roof over our heads. My health is good I have a beautiful grandson but yet I am so very sad
Pounds lost: 0.0
Posts: 42 2/7/10 8:48 P
Great idea for a place to vent. I'm sure I'll be coming to this thread in the future.
Pounds lost: 8.4
Posts: 290 2/7/10 8:33 P
The teenagers make me crazy (and want to lock myself in my room and eat)!
Action is the antidote to despair. - Joan Baez
Pounds lost: 44.0
Fitness Minutes: (3,923) Posts: 378 2/7/10 8:25 P
I have problems getting anxious and depressed when the sun is not bright. At this time of the year I am usually also trying to conserve energy (electricity/money). However, I find that if I go into a room and turn on a really bright light or two, I definitely feel better about that moment, at least. I have also read that if one goes outside at this time of the year just for a few minutes each day, one will get more sunlight and therefore be less depressed than sitting in the house, even when it is cloudy. So I walk around the block at lunchtime whether I think I need it or not, if at all possible. Let's hang in there, the days are getting longer every day!
Edited by: NOSKINNY at: 2/7/2010 (20:27)
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." -Dale Carnegie
0.0 Inches Lost
Fitness Minutes: (73,169) Posts: 12,104 2/7/10 8:24 P
AWESOME idea for a a thread! I was so embarrassed today as a result of my weight. I was going to the movies with a friend of mine, her mother, and two of her mother's friends. Her mother was driving and she has a Toyota Sienna which is a minivan. Well I could not get into the van because there was no step to get in. If I was not so big I could have gotten in easily. The good news is it motivated me to NOT over eat at lunch (which I would have usually done). There is still the little kid in me being self critical of myself. The adult in me is trying to maintain my control. Thus far I am not letting affect my eating, but I appreciate this "safe place" that I can share.
There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs! ~unknown
Pounds lost: 2.3
Posts: 95 2/7/10 7:26 P
Great thread!! I am so aggravated with this cold weather and being cooped up in the house. I am tired of my kids always calling my name. I am sick of not having much self-control. My husband gets on my nerves too! Always so grouchy. Nice thread :)
current weight: 280.0
Posts: 3,183 2/7/10 7:17 P
Hey all, I have not been eating well at all....and no excersise to speak of...I am very stressed out!! My twin sister is very depressed and she is not doing well at all....i dont think there is much i really can do at this time....this is horrible!! thanks for listening
There is nothing more complete than a broken heart. For in the depths of the pain you will encounter the risen Jesus Christ.' Mark Brown
current weight: 311.8
Posts: 80 2/7/10 6:56 P
I love this thread and I am venting about my mother. She does whatever she thinks will make her look good. She sits on the couch everyday on the computer all day and wants to lecture me on how to lose weight. I am not sure how someone does not exercise and does not change their eating habits but says they lost 8 lbs in less than 2 weeks. I swear the woman gets on my nerves
current weight: 232.0
Posts: 57 2/7/10 6:27 P
Great thread. Who doesn't need a place to vent? I'd have been here sooner, but I just found out about it.
Instead, I just got off the phone with my sister. We're WW buddies and I did something I never thought I could. I asked for help. It's crappy outside, everyone in my house - including the animals - has cabin fever and I swear I don't know what to do with myself. I mean how many times can I clean the frigging refrigerator before I slam my head shut in the freezer? Lol!
So I called Chris and I said "Talk to me. I'm standing in the middle of my kitchen and I don't know what I'm doing here. Lunch is over and supper is still 2 hours away. I don't need a stupid snack. Believe me I know the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger. Physical hunger will wait but what I'm feeling won't."
So we talked. About everything and nothing. And an hour passed (we both have the running-at-the-mouth gene). The urge passed and I hung up knowing the crisis had passed.
One day at a time, baby, that's all any of us has to deal with. Thank God!
One day at a time, honey, that's how you get there.
current weight: 212.0
Posts: 190 2/7/10 6:25 P
Yeah-a place to say what you really feel without hurting anyone's feelings. Helping to stop the binge before it starts. Or the anger before it gets really bottled up.
Not angry right now--but really glad I have a place to go now when I am.
129 by my birthday,again!
current weight: 148.0
Posts: 159 2/7/10 5:54 P
I need to scream. - I just started a new very stressful job that I want to do well in, but I'm not telling anyone that I'm using the job for experience on my resume. I want to go back to school and will be leaving them in a year or so. I still have to work my ass off and it's exhausting. - applications to school are intense and hard to organize because each school has a very different application process (online, one-envelope, different due dates, etc). I feel like i have so much to do, but I really don't. I need to sort things out. - my parents are sick and my brother can't find a job. I'm the only one who can work right now and am supporting all of them. - i live with my boyfriend and finally opened my eyes to see that we aren't going to have a future together even tho we love each other very much. He never wants kids or to own a house, and I want both of those very much. He will move out, but then I have to figure out how to afford housing here (2 bedroom) or go through the exhausting and stressful move to a single bedroom or studio just for a year until I go to school.
I'm tired. frustrated. And I feel like the bad guy. It's awkward at home, and stressful in life. I don't want to be alone, but it's the right thing. I really don't want to be alone.
I want pizza.
Edited by: PEACEOFOM at: 2/7/2010 (17:55)
Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be strong men and women. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then, the doing of your work will be no miracle; but you shall be the miracle.
current weight: 142.0
Posts: 38 2/7/10 5:52 P
I am so glad this thread exists! I just got the sparkmail message about it now... if only I had known about it last night! Last night... I've been under the weather and really busy this weekend with work. I couldn't find the time (or energy really) to go out with friends and so spent both Friday and Saturday night alone. Friday night was fine (went to bed early, caught up on reading) but Saturday night turned into an eating disaster. It started with a hot chocolate from Starbucks; pure comfort food as I was feeling down about being alone and sick and the cold weather was getting to me. Harmless enough. But once I was home, I ate a box of cookies (luckily only 8) and that was just the start. That was last night and despite the residual nausea, I'm over it. I'm determined to get back on track. I realize the mistakes I made that set me up for this binge. In the past, this is when I quit my new lifestyle habits. But because of this wonderful sparkpeople community, I don't want to give up this time! Thanks everyone for your openness and contributions! Keep up the hard work and know that you are NOT alone in this struggle!
"Persistence, not perfection."
Pounds lost: 0.4
Fitness Minutes: (4,663) Posts: 393 2/7/10 5:16 P
Thanks for sharing your story. I was adopted. If I wasn't, God knows where I'd be and with who. I'd encourage you to explore this option. There are many beautiful children that need loving people like you.
Just realized that this is posted at the top. This was in response to Rebekah down below.
Edited by: DAVEOZ at: 2/7/2010 (17:17)
Everything just "is". It's our perception that changes reality...
Fitness Minutes: (4,663) Posts: 393 2/7/10 5:12 P
OK, so hear I go.
I am not strong anymore. I quit.
I ate an entire pizza yesterday, 2 liter of regular soda, a ton of birthday cake and woke up today felling $hitty that I did this last night and did the entire thing over again while the family was out shopping and running errands. I haven't done this in MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I was OK.
I"ve been successful in teh past, I know I am able, but when I do things like this I just give up and success seems so far away. Every few months I do this. Either 100% or nothing and then get discouraged. I really hate this crap. OA helped a little, but the people there are too distant and I can't get into the entire God thing right now. I've been unemployed 6 months on 2/18, money is gone, I have a family and house, but am really stressing over everything.
Please leave comments and words of any support to my sparkmail, NOT my blog or homepage. I am trying to be strong but snapped over the weekend. To top it off, I'm having a SB party with 20 people and people have already been arriving and eating. I'm holed up in my office finishing this email and a paper due tonight.
I can't take the pain of eating nor can I stand the physical back and hip pain of anything any more.
OK, I feel sort of better. Any similar dilemmas? Please sparkmail and we can chat. Thanks a million, DaveOz.
Everything just "is". It's our perception that changes reality...
Don't get discouraged. Look at today only. We can't change yesterday.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. SP quote
current weight: 178.0
Posts: 425 2/7/10 4:11 P
I totally needed this thread! I have needed to vent for the past few days. So here is goes...
I have been feeling very mad, sad, depressed with intense anger lately. I think the stress of school and recent changes of graduation have really been getting too me (long story short, I was suppose to go into the Navy after graduation but since I have been diagnosed with a mood disorder, the Navy has kicked me out causing my to pay back 5 years of school). I have not told my family yet as they will tell me I am a huge disappointment.
I am snapping at everyone, people at school and my boyfriend mainly. I can't seem to control it.
My weight also keeps me from doing things. I never want to go out or do anything because I am disgusted with myself. I could go to a party tonight to watch the superbowl but I feel too angry to be around people. Note sure how I am going to survive school this week :(
"I am a smart, intelligent, fun, loving, caring, beautiful woman!"
current weight: 170.2
Fitness Minutes: (140,204) Posts: 38,773 2/7/10 3:58 P
SHRINKWRAP62, Thanks for starting this much needed thread. Sorry, I used your first paragraph to announce it to the team.
Have a TERRIFIC day! Patricia co-Leader of Emotional Eaters
current weight: 243.0
Posts: 4,029 2/7/10 3:30 P
Fight with hubby last night. Fight's over now...but the calories stick....need I say more?
current weight: 189.0
Posts: 90 2/7/10 3:27 P
Sigh this is good... very timely as I am threatening to 'emotional eat' in a major way. I almost freudian slipped "marriage" way. We have been having so much issue the past few weeks my husband and I- fighting and hating eachother. Although I have managed to take care of myself so far and stay with the program, it is sure wearing on me. This time last year I was still working two jobs and really-really comfort eating. I weigh almost like 15 pounds less now than I did then and I am much less happy being married. Huh!?! I guess because if I am gonna work this hard to look good and feel attractive what a waste if its just for my dumb husband! (this is a venting thread, yes?) I feel really bad in saying that, but its better I say it then eat it down- down - down. Now I am going to put in my calories and see how I am doing today. Knowledge is Power.
"ask your heart- act accordingly"
current weight: 213.0
Posts: 390 2/7/10 3:24 P
I think this thread is a great idea...
i need to leave something here... i just went out to clean off my car and my hubby's as we got about 2 feet and my hubby just had knee surgery and he is not allowed to go out there and hurt himself...
so i'm out there, getting my heart rate up and for some reason singing 'pink cadillac' (neither one of us own one, i dunno why) and here comes an older neighbor watching me from her doorway.. i see her and wonder what she is doing, keep going about my business and then i hear it:
"You're putting snow in our area"
what proceeded was a bit of a yelling match... i did not curse but i did tell her she was rude and incorrect... the snow was a few feet high on the driver's side of our car and i was not putting it on her car, just didn't have room for it to clear a way for my husband... exactly where did she expect me to put it, i'm out there with a broom and a small brush (apartment building but i need a shovel for real)
i tell her i'm not getting any on her car and she goes on "i didn't say you were getting on the car but we need to get to it"... she tells me her husband is 87 and i tell her my husband had knee surgery to which she says " i know" and i only regret NOT saying "i bet you do, you and your husband know everyhting that goes on but you've never had a nice word for anyone, busy bodies".. but i didn't say that...
anyway it was just ugly and i am of course enraged... i thanked her for her consideration when she closed her door... i did ask a neighbor i've never met for his shovel and he came over and helped... i hate asking for help... i'm trying to focus on how nice he was - he cleaned the area around the old people's car as well as a path to my hubby's driver side door... but this kind of stuff moves me...
i'm glad that i don't allow people to chit on me like i used to and as much as i got loud i stood up for myself.... i even WALKED OVER to her car to show her there was a clear path... but this kind of negativity bothers me to no end... i'm a very considerate person, i would not just throw snow everywhere and if she had come to the door and asked me to make sure i didn't get any in their way i would have been happy to do so... i was ALREADY doing that...
but this stupid thing comes out to yell at me cause maybe a snowball rolled towards her car while i was cleaning off a 4 wheel drive i could not reach the top of, by myself... what was the need for that??? eff you really...
i swear i hate people sometimes... thank you for letting me share...
At least 8 pounds by Labor Day!
Fitness Minutes: (26,088) Posts: 1,595 2/7/10 3:12 P
I agree about the wieght training! I wish there was a way to track calories burned for it. I would feel a little more fullfilled. Rebekah, your story made my heart ache for you. Are you angry with your Father-in-law? I would have a hard time not resenting him AND the medical personell who disregarded your concerns after the car incident. I can't even imagine loosing a child, especially when it was cause by the carelessness of others!! GRRRR! Is it OK I vent for you? I am angry FOR you!!! I HATE it when medical proffeshionals think they know everything and ignore you, or worse yet, know what is happening and Do NOTHING because it is too early in the pregnancy to "SAVE" the baby....My sister in Law was going into pre-term labor, and her Dr. of course says that there's nothing they will do. She went to Alta-Bates, which I think is a University type Hospital, and they helped her. Her baby is now 12! I'm sorry If I am too much....I feel very passionately about unborn babies, and how they are real human beings that need care and love and sometimes they even need to be defended and fought for. They are so defenseless...May God comfort and be with you in these difficult times...
Edited by: AUSSIEFLOSS at: 2/7/2010 (15:15)
current weight: 225.0
Posts: 77 2/7/10 2:53 P
I am so ticked off. I don't understand why I have to go to a different site to figure out how many calories I burn doing my strength training!!! I mean it's not hard to find another site for that, my program takes 2.5 hours and it burns 750 calories. I mean, WTF this tracker makes you think you burn zero calories weight training and stretching. Come on now!!!! I don't use the Nutrition Tracker because I learned a long time ago that a lot of the calories are wrong and it just got rediculous fixing them all. So, my notebook and reading labels comes in handy. I am not looking for a response here, just want to get this out of my system. Oh, I don't mind being quoted or paraphrased, but I am a professional writer and it ticks me off to no end to be ripped off!!! Magazines who do this, think they can get away with it by manipulating the article. I hate it when they do that, I mean I'm not writing for free for them, even if I am a Freelancer!!!!
Spiritually Guided With Hopes and Dreams
Pounds lost: 2.0
Fitness Minutes: (5,511) Posts: 1,700 2/7/10 2:39 P
Rebekah- My heart aches for you. I am so sorry for what you are going through- I can't imagine. I hope time heals your pain. Dzduke- Geez, tough situation with your mom. I hope things improve. Me, I don't have much to vent about. I worked all weekend through the snow storm and I'm tired. I went over my calories pretty much all week and exercised only twice. But, I'm doing it, and I will keep at it.
current weight: 204.0
Posts: 231 2/7/10 1:26 P
I am a little rattled right now. My mom had a stroke and moved in with us a few weeks ago, we hired an aide for 11 hours a week for when we are gone, I've been doing all her drs. and therapy visits with her. Last night the aide was here while we were out (from 6 to 10 on Saturday). Today my mom said it was "kind of boring" cause she thinks the aide should be cleaning or doing laundry, etc., rather than just being a companion. I told her she'd need to ask them to do what she wanted, whether it was go out somewhere, play games, help her write notes, whatever, but they are not cleaning people and they certainly aren't going to clean my whole house! And would that be less boring if she sat in a chair and watched them clean?? So at least I took the dogs for a LONG walk and tried to clear my head, but it drives me crazy when she does this! I think she could accept the idea of a cleaning person, but what she really needs is someone to help her get up the stairs, remind her to take her meds, help her use the stove, find TV channels, etc. and just spend time with her, cause she doesn't want to spend any time at the senior center or go into assisted living. Arrgh! We got past it, but she's just so judgemental and distrusting...
"Life is short, break the rules, forgive sooner, kiss slowly, laugh without control and always keep smiling! Maybe life is not the party that we were expecting, but in the mean time, we're here and we can still dance....."
current weight: 209.0
Fitness Minutes: (7,268) Posts: 2,011 2/7/10 1:17 P
I appreciate this thread. After 8 years, we found we were pregnant in June. My husbands father had road rage, slammed on the breaks and the seatbelt caused my mucus plug to shed which started a series of events the Dr.'s ignored..well, moreseo the nurse practitioner. We lost our firstborn child on Oct. 22 2009 at just 22 weeks gestation.
His lungs were underdeveloped and if we could have had just a week or two longer, Nicu would have stepped in to try to save him. He died only 25 minutes later.
I'm angery, I'm sad and confused about what now. It took us 8 years without fertility pills to have Jackson and Dr.'s said it would never happen. His due date is the 23rd of Feb. our Anniversary is the 9th of February. There's so much to celebrate. Even his birth...yet I can't help but think of the hopes and dreams I had of holding him in my arms, playing with him as a toddler and watching him marry.
My heart aches and I KNOW he's alive in heaven with Jesus. I just miss him. We pray everday to ttc again more children. We also would like to adopt which is something we knew we'd like to do before we got married. Only the financial aspects seem to get in the way. We dont' want to take out high interest loans. We want to be debt free, but provide our children with love, tenderness, direction, and their needs.
Anyways. ((sigh)) this is a great forum. Thank You!
Proud follower of Jesus Christ. My Lord and Savior.
Goal weight ~ 132
short term goal ~41lbs
Pounds lost: 1.0
Fitness Minutes: (33,420) Posts: 1,732 2/7/10 12:49 P
Last night I went way over my calories because I could not stop eating, because my brain said eat, eat, eat, so I ate. What I really wanted was red licorice and I didn't have it in my house so I ate other stuff instead. Well today is a new day. So I start over fresh today.
~*~Rena~*~ "Free your self from the slavery of food."
Total SparkPoints: 34,946
SparkPoints Level 15
Fitness Minutes: (140,204) Posts: 38,773 2/7/10 12:17 P
This is a good topic. Offering you support as you struggle through this. What hobbies do you have? Have you journaled about this?
Have a TERRIFIC day! Patricia co-Leader of Emotional Eaters
current weight: 243.0
Posts: 77 2/7/10 11:34 A
If you need to scream, do it here. If you need to cry, do it here. This is the thread I am starting to open the flood gates. We emotional eaters need to have a safe place to let out what drives us to food. Last night I sat in my room and fought the urge to eat. Why is it so hard for me to stick to one single diet? Why do I find it so easy to quit? It feels like an addiction, I keep on getting up and sitting back down and grabbing something to occupy my mind. I hate my body. I hate dieting. I am so freaking bored and I know that's why I want to eat. Breath, Kim, it's not like I am an alcoholic and I am drying out. No...it's worse. I am fat and I am addicted to being stupid!!! Hopefully this time my diet will work. I went shopping and bought all of the right foods. When I put it all way, for a minute I didn't want anything I bought. I will get through it. I will train myself to trust myself. Breath. I am not being judged here. I am free here to say whatever I need to no matter what it is. I am free and soon I will feel better in my freedom.
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